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“Of course, I’ve been there,” he said. “I go down to Mexico City for a few weeks every year to perform surgery.” He raked his hand through his hair. “But I never leave the hospital except to go to my hotel and sleep.”
There was another flash of pain in Tara McNeal’s eyes as she shook her head. “Okay, I tried. I’ve come to see you and fulfilled my promise to my sister. But I can’t make you want to be a part of your daughter’s life,” she said, wrapping her arms around the baby protectively. “But don’t worry, Dr. Landers, this child won’t lack for love. She’s got family. Me.” Tara began gathering her bag. “Sorry I bothered you.”
Matt drew a long breath. “How many times do I have to tell you, she’s not my daughter? So if you’re looking for money, you’ve come to the wrong place—”
Her back straightened. “I didn’t come here for your money, Dr. Landers. I already have custody of my niece and I plan to raise her like my own. That means taking full financial responsibility. We’re family, and someday she’ll have brothers and sisters.” Her glare was heated with anger. “But it was Bri’s last request that you be told about your daughter.”
Matt glanced at Tara’s ringless hand. Was she alone? He shook away the feeling of sympathy. She wasn’t his problem.
“But you haven’t fulfilled your promise, because she’s not my child,” he said, the words nearly sticking in his throat.
Matt was a man who had always honored his obligations. But this little girl wasn’t his. Damn. Damn. Why wouldn’t she believe him and leave? “For one last time, I never met your sister.”
Just then the baby stirred again and began to cry. He found he wanted to soothe the infant. None of this was her fault, or his. But if Ms. McNeal decided to take this to Riverhaven Hospital’s chief of staff, Harry Douglas, it could cause a lot of problems. He’d worked hard to build a career. And what was to keep her from returning years later and doing this again? Whose child was Erin Landers? Surely someone wouldn’t go so low as to pretend to be him?
Suddenly a revelation hit him—the key to this mystery. “Wait! Ms. McNeal, I believe I know what happened.” He reached for her just as she started for the door. “Please, you can’t leave yet.”
She jerked out of his grasp. “You finally found your conscience, Doctor?”
“No. Well, yes. Please let me explain. I think I may have some answers for you.” He started to speak, but the phone rang. He picked it up. It was Dr. Talbert wondering where he was. He apologized and hung up.
“Look, Ms. McNeal. I have to leave for about thirty minutes. I have an important consultation with a patient. But I’ll be back. Please, will you wait?”
“I don’t know. Erin needs to be fed.”
“Stay here and use my office,” he insisted. “Judy can get you whatever you need. Heat the bottle or whatever. Just give me a chance to explain.”
She rocked the baby and eyed him suspiciously. “Okay, I’ll stay. But only for a short time.”
Matt grabbed the folder from his desk and rushed out the door. “Just give me thirty minutes.”
Tara watched the man leave. Was this another ploy? She hoped not, but she’d feel better when she and Erin were on their way back to Phoenix. This had been an expensive trip, one she couldn’t afford. Now she may have to go home without any answers.
This wasn’t the way she’d planned to start her vacation. As a teacher, Tara had the summer off, and she was planning on taking this opportunity to enjoy being a full-time mother. The last few months, she had to ask her neighbor, Mrs. Lynch, to watch Erin while she taught school.
Tara carried her niece to the sofa and opened the diaper bag. She located the bottle she’d prepared at the motel, pulled off the cap, positioned Erin against her and guided the nipple to her tiny mouth.
Tara sat back and tried to relax, but the nagging headache she’d had since last night hadn’t gone away. The long drive from Phoenix had been tedious, and they hadn’t arrived until late. But it had been thoughts of Bri that had kept Tara awake all night.
Was there more she could have done? Was she the one who had made her sister want to leave home? So many questions, and Tara had no answers, not for herself or for Erin.
Three months ago Tara had gotten a phone call from her younger sister, Briana. It had been nearly three years since their mother’s death, when Bri moved out of the family’s small rented house in Phoenix. She was only twenty at the time and eager to be on her own.
Many times over the years, she and Bri had argued about her escapades, including the day she left for Los Angeles. Eventually Bri always ended up back home. Not this time, though. Months had gone by before Tara had any idea as to her sister’s whereabouts. Then, this past March, she’d gotten a call from Bri announcing she was about to have a baby and needed her.
Without hesitation, Tara had driven the six hours to the shabby apartment in Los Angeles where her sister lived. Shocked at Bri’s weak condition, Tara rushed her to a clinic just as her labor began.
It was a difficult birth, but finally the doctor delivered a healthy baby girl by cesarean section. Bri, still weak, developed a strep infection. Complications set in, and…she died three days later.
Tara blinked away tears. No. She couldn’t give in to her emotions. Not now. She had to get through this, to make up for not being there when Bri really needed her.
She looked at the baby asleep in her arms. Now Erin needed her. Tara smiled as she raised her niece to her shoulder and began gently patting her back. A few minutes later, Tara lay her down on the sofa and changed her diaper. Through it all, the baby slept like an angel.
“I promise, I won’t leave you,” she whispered and covered the sleeping child with a blanket. Tara stood and walked around the spacious ivory-colored room, her shoes sinking into the plush slate gray carpet. Oak file cabinets lined one wall, and a state-of-the-art computer system took up another. The glass and chrome desk was the focal point of the room, placed dramatically in front of the huge picture window. The doctor had done well for himself. Tara remembered reading about the famous pediatric heart surgeon, Dr. Landers, on the Internet. She knew all about him.
At the young age of thirty-eight, Matthew Landers was already one of the top surgeons in the country. He was single, blond, brown-eyed and six feet two inches tall. He loved the beach and golf.
Tara made her way to the window and looked from the third floor on the beautiful California coastline. She drew a breath. “It looks like you have it all, Dr. Landers. Too bad you can’t share it with your child.”
Suddenly the door to the office opened. The man she’d been thinking about had returned.
Matt came face to face with the attractive Ms. McNeal. Since their meeting, she’d used the baby like a shield, and it was a pleasant surprise to get a look at her attractive slim body. Tall and long-limbed, Tara McNeal didn’t lack for curves. She had on a white short-sleeve sweater and a calf-length print skirt, allowing him a glimpse of shapely legs.
Realizing where he was headed, he shook off his wandering thoughts. Just forget it—the woman can cause you major trouble. Somehow he was going to convince her that he would never father a child, then abandon her.
Matt glanced toward the sofa. The baby was asleep. “I take it this morning wore her out?” he said as he placed some files on a side table.
“It’s her nap time,” Tara said. “She should be out for a while.”
“Good, that will give us a chance to talk.” He motioned to the chair in front of the desk. “Sit down, Tara. May I call you Tara?”
Nodding, she came around the desk and took a seat.
He sat in the chair next to her. “I have an idea as to why my name appears on the birth certificate as Erin’s father.”
He watched as she folded her arms across her chest. Great, she was already resistant to hearing him out.
“For the past fifteen months,” he began, “my life has been turned into chaos because of someone who broke into the surgeon’s lounge and stole my wallet from my locker. Not only did he take money and personal pictures—he used my credit card and my identity.”
“What does this have to do with my sister?”
He raised his hand. “Just give me a minute. Like I was saying, this person was acquiring credit cards in my name. I was getting calls about overdue payments, and the hospital administrator received complaints.” Matt remembered when it started. Harry Douglas had tried to be understanding about the situation, but the administrator’s concern was for the hospital’s reputation. They couldn’t have their top surgeon in financial trouble.
“Believe me, Ms. McNeal, I thought I had straightened out the situation. I’ve always had an impeccable credit rating, but it’s a mess now. I couldn’t buy a thing. It’s still shaky. But I’ve worked with the police and hired an investigator to catch this guy. Lately things began to quiet down. I thought maybe he had moved on,” he said, nodding toward the child. “Until today.”
Tara shrugged her shoulders. “And what connection does this have to Erin?”
“I think the same person who used my name to purchase things also…seduced your sister.”
Her eyes widened. “If you expect me to believe… That’s the craziest story I’ve ever heard.” She tried to stand, and he reached for her hand and stopped her.
Matt paused, feeling Tara’s warmth, her softness. Something he hadn’t felt in a while. And by the reaction of his body, he realized it had been a long while. He released her and leaned back in the chair to refocus. “I know it sounds crazy, but just think about it.”
“There’s nothing to think about, Dr. Landers. You don’t want to be Erin’s father. Hey, don’t worry about it. Not all men are cut out to be parents. Believe me, my sister and I knew firsthand about an absent dad. And I won’t allow Erin to go through the same thing. No father is better than one who’s there then disappears.”
Matt had had enough. “If I fathered that child, believe me, I would definitely claim her.”
“Sure. I can see that.”
His frustration grew along with his temper. He got to his feet. “Dammit, woman. I would never abandon a child, because I know exactly what it feels like.”
Tara couldn’t move, couldn’t breath. She wanted so badly not to believe him. But the look in his dark eyes, the loneliness that showed in the depths of his gaze told her he understood what it was like not to be wanted.
She started to speak, but Matt held up his hand. “Sorry. I guess we need to step back here.” He did as he suggested and took a calming breath. “I can see my word isn’t going to convince you of anything.”
Tara pulled a piece of note paper from her purse and handed it to him. “This is the motel where we’re staying. I’m going to be in town until tomorrow. If you decide that you want to be a part of Erin’s life, call me.” She went to the sofa and carefully bundled up her sleeping niece, then gathered her things. She walked out the door wishing that Matt Landers would stop her but also praying that he wouldn’t so she could get on with her life. Her life with Erin.
A few seconds later Matt heard the outer office door close. This was a continuing nightmare. He turned to the large window behind his desk. Before him was an incredible view of the Pacific Ocean. Usually after a rough eight-hour surgery or a consultation with parents when he had to tell them bad news, he could find peace and solace in the mesmerizing waves, lose himself in the sound of the rolling surf. None of it helped him now.
The day his damn wallet had been stolen his entire life turned upside down. Matthew James Landers’s credit had been shot to hell, and there was next to nothing he could do about it. Damn. It hadn’t been enough that the thief used his credit cards, but taking over his identity was worse. Now the man had fathered a child in his name. Matt clenched his fists, fighting anger and…a twinge of envy. He pounded the window frame.
“Hell, is this mess ever going to end?” he asked. Today had been the last straw. And to torment him with a child. That went beyond cruel.
Again his thoughts turned to the pretty woman, Tara McNeal, who’d stood in his office not thirty seconds ago. Damn. Forget her…forget the baby.
Call your lawyer, Matt told himself. Let him handle it. But something in those green eyes of hers told him that she was as much a victim as he was. The ironic thing was that Tara McNeal was offering him his heart’s desire. The one thing he’d wanted and couldn’t have.
A child.
Later that afternoon, Matt heard voices coming from the outer office. He got up and opened the door to find his friend Nick Malone coming down the hall.
“Hey, what brings you here?” Matt asked, grinning.
The dark-haired computer software genius smiled back. “I wanted to see if you were available for golf Wednesday.”
Matt was eager for any distraction. “You know I’m always ready for a game, but since when are you? I believe your exact words were, ‘I don’t have time to chase around a little white ball.’”
Nick dropped into the chair across from Matt’s desk. “I hear the balls come in different colors now.”
“Yeah, sure. What’s the real reason?”
“It’s Cari’s idea. She wants me to cut back on my hours at the plant. Take more downtime for myself.”
Matt knew Cari Malone well. Before she’d married Nick and given birth to two beautiful children, she had been a nurse on the pediatric floor. One of the best. “So, she still hasn’t given up on changing you.”
There was a glint in Nick’s gray eyes. “And I hope she never does. She and the kids make everything so…perfect.”
Matt knew his friend’s life had been far from perfect before Cari walked into it and offered her love to Nick and his son, Danny. Love and kids. Something Matt had avoided over the years. His relationships had always been guarded, avoiding anything permanent. Besides, his demanding career made it nearly impossible for him to have a personal life. At thirty-eight, he wished things could be different. A picture of a perky redhead holding a baby flashed in his head. He blinked away the fantasy.
Matt tried to smile but couldn’t quite make it, and Nick spotted something amiss right away.
“What’s wrong, friend?”
Matt shrugged. “Just a rough day. A new patient, a little boy who has a rough road ahead.”
Nick’s gaze locked with his. “If anyone can pull it off, you can. You gave Danny a normal life.”
Nick’s eight-year-old son had had a heart transplant six years ago and had been under Matt’s care.
“A lot of factors entered into Danny’s recovery and continued good health, including having parents who love him.” Matt thought about the baby girl who had been in his office. A child who needed him to be a father. It was too bad that…
Nick’s words interrupted his thoughts. “Hey, pal. You sure there isn’t anything else on your mind?”
Matt sighed. “This morning I was told I was a father.”
Chapter Two
That evening Tara leaned over the portable baby crib in the corner of the small motel room. Erin had been fed, changed and dressed in her pajamas, and she was finally asleep.
Tara placed a kiss on the baby’s rosy cheek, then went to the double bed and sat down. If Erin would sleep a few hours, she could get some rest, too. But Tara doubted she could sleep. Not after what had happened this afternoon. Not after Matthew Landers had denied ever knowing Bri.
Tara rubbed her temples. The headache she’d woken up with still plagued her. She checked her watch. It was getting late, and the good doctor hadn’t called. So he didn’t care about his own child.
She went into the small kitchenette and located the bottle of aspirin, poured a glass of water and swallowed two tablets.
Tara had had firsthand experience with waiting for a father. Her father hadn’t hung around, not for long, anyway. Having a wife and two daughters had been too much for Sean McNeal. He was busy chasing the next big deal. Nothing was going to keep him from what he wanted, not even the responsibility of a family. Sean was going to be rich, he’d told everyone. Even his small daughters had gotten caught up in his crazy dreams until they found out the man was nothing but a fake.
By the time Tara turned fourteen, her dad had disappeared from their lives for good. For months her mother cried, leaving Tara wishing she could help. When her mother had to take on another job to keep the family together, her eldest daughter had been put in charge of watching eight-year-old Briana.
Regret filled Tara. Maybe if she’d done a better job, her baby sister would be alive today. But Bri had always been headstrong. From an early age, she’d had a wild streak. Unlike Tara, she ran after life, and after men, looking for the love their father had denied them.
“I should have been there for you,” Tara whispered, believing that Briana left Phoenix because she felt smothered. “I should have gone to visit you. We were family.”
Tara had been busy with college and her job, but she could have found time. If only Briana had wanted to see her. Tears stung her eyes. At least in the end, she’d been with Bri. And now that Matt Landers had denied paternity she was going to be Erin’s family.
She walked to the crib and gazed at the beautiful baby. She already looked like Briana. The shape of her face and her large eyes were Bri’s, although their color was dark brown, like her father’s. The wisps of hair that covered her small head were blond. Again like her father. A father who wasn’t going to be around.
“I wanted so much for you, sweetie,” she whispered, emotion lacing her voice. “But it looks like it’s just you and me, Erin Marie. I promise I won’t let you down.” She took hold of Erin’s tiny finger just like she had so many times with Bri. “I double pinky swear. We’ll be a family.”
There was a soft knock on the door. Wiping away any traces of tears, Tara checked the peephole. Her pulse started to race when she saw Matt Landers. He’d come. She said a quick little prayer and opened the door.
“Can we talk?” he asked.
Tara swallowed. “That depends on what you have to say.”
“I believe it’s obvious what we have to talk about. The baby. We need to come to a decision that will be the best for all of us.”
“You mean that will be best for you,” she murmured.
After a few seconds, Tara stepped aside and Matt walked into the small room. He glanced around the standard chain motel surroundings. The double bed with the colorful bedspread. The desk with the menu and coupons from the local restaurant. Then he turned his attention to the baby crib in the corner, and a protective feeling tugged at him.
“Do my accommodations meet with your approval?”
Matt turned to Tara. Faded jeans covered her long, slender legs and accented her narrow waist. A short white T-shirt draped her delicate shoulders and nicely rounded breasts. Her short rust-colored hair was pulled behind her ears. He raised his gaze to her weary green eyes.
“I’m not concerned with your accommodations, Ms. McNeal, just your accusations.”
His lawyer, Ed Podesta, had told him he’d handle everything and advised his client to stay away from Tara McNeal and the baby. Even though Matt knew he couldn’t possibly be Erin’s father, he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about her. Her sweet face, her pink cheeks and rosebud mouth. He tended children daily. Many were infants. But he’d never been called a father before. That made little Erin different.
