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Liz gestured matter-of-factly. “But you did give sperm to the research facility. And that permission trumps any legal rights you had prior to that.”
“What happened was still fraudulent,” Chase insisted.
Liz nodded in solemn agreement. “You could sue. There would be a lot of ugly publicity. It would take years. Which is not what you want.”
No, Merri thought miserably, it wasn’t. The kids had been through enough already, being orphaned as babies and spending the past four-plus years without a father figure or steady male influence.
“Then what would be the best course?” Chase countered, obviously still determined to be a part of the twins’ lives.
The attorney leaned back in her chair. “I suggest you look at the matter the way the family court will. The twins have a guardian, and they are doing well. The court is going to want to continue the status quo. So if you want to have
access to the children, your best bet is to petition to be a co-guardian with Merri.”
How often would Chase be around, anyway? she wondered. Given the fact that he was a surgeon, he’d probably be at the hospital all the time. When he wasn’t, well, they would figure out how to coparent. It might even be good for the kids to have a man around all the time. Something she and Sasha had never had when they were young. It would give the twins a male role model, fill the void.
“I could handle that,” Merri murmured.
Chase nodded in relief. “Me, too.”
Liz continued to frown. “That’s a very generous attitude,” she acknowledged. “Unfortunately, for both of you, it’s not quite that simple.”
Chase and Merri groaned in unison as they waited for the ax to fall.
“You see…I know Judge Roy,” Liz continued bluntly. “She is not going to grant this, even on a temporary basis, unless you are married.”
Well, that was out of the question, Merri thought. When she married, it would be for love. Period. To her relief, Chase appeared to feel the same way.
“Isn’t there another judge?” he asked Liz.
The attorney rocked back in her chair. “No. Priscilla Roy is it for Laramie County, in family court.”
“Well, we can still ask,” Chase insisted, as determined as ever to do the right thing. “Explain the situation to her. All Judge Roy can do is say no.”
“That’s true.” Liz pressed her fingertips together in front of her. “But if you lose, you would then have to go to appeal, which would halt the whole process for at least a year.”
Silence fell as they all thought about that.
The last thing Merri wanted was more time in limbo.
Liz leaned forward and concluded kindly, “What I suggest you do is go home, think about all this, spend some time with the kids…and figure out if there isn’t some way the two of you can handle this unofficially, at least for now. Because once you start this process,” she warned, “believe me, there will be no turning back.”
Chapter Two
Chase settled next to Merri on the porch swing. It was a beautiful fall day, sunny and clear, with the temperature hovering around sixty degrees. Broken Arrow land stretched out as far as the eye could see. But as good as it felt to be home again—and the ranch was home to him, and always would be—Chase was focused on the beautiful woman seated beside him. In tailored brown slacks, ivory sweater, and trendy tweed jacket, she was the epitome of a capable thirty-something woman.
The fact that she was so used to being on her own only made the job of convincing her all the harder. “It doesn’t have to be a real marriage,” Chase continued persuasively, determined to have his way on this whether she liked it or not. “At least not in the conventional sense.”
“Well, that’s a relief.” Merri looked at him with a mix of exasperation and cynicism in her vivid green eyes.
He regarded her seriously, aware he had a responsibility here. “Its only purpose will be to help us meet the objective.”
She exhaled softly. “You becoming a father to your children.”
Chase watched as she crossed her legs and clasped her delicate hands around her knee. When had she gotten so all-out beautiful? “While keeping you as the mother they know and love.”
Her forehead creased. “People will talk.” She pushed herself out of the swing, hips swaying provocatively as she began to pace.
Chase stayed where he was, admiring the view. “A lot less if we’re married,” he predicted.
Merri looked at him as if she knew that was true.
“You already asked me if I wanted to stay at the ranch with you and the kids.” He stood and ambled over to join her.
Her hand encircled a post. “Temporarily. And your first instinct was to refuse.”
She smelled like lavender again. Lavender and woman. “Things are different now. We have a lot more on our agenda.”
“No kidding. Look, Chase, I get that we could handle this unofficially, and not get married, but…I don’t want to live with someone again, without being married.”
I don’t want to feel used, unappreciated, not good enough.
Aware that he was scrutinizing her closely, she continued, “The problem with just living together is that it gets too complicated.”
“I agree if I’m to take on the dad role—us getting hitched and becoming a ‘traditional family’ is the best solution.”
On the surface, from a strictly practical point of view, his suggestion was workable. The ranch house had four bedrooms, only two of which were currently occupied, and comprised four thousand square feet. It was more than big enough for the two of them.
The problem was the enforced intimacy of sharing space. The fact that she was already terribly attracted to Chase and would have to be in his presence at all hours of the night and day. With vows exchanged and wedding rings on their fingers, and the whole world thinking they were husband and wife in a very conventional sense, it would be easy to believe their union was more than a means to an end.
Once before, Merri had deluded herself into thinking that proximity plus friendship and desire would grow into something wonderful. She had ended up feeling terribly disillusioned and disappointed, when Pierce finally admitted he didn’t really love her and didn’t want to marry her. She didn’t want to put her heart on the line that way again, only to be rejected in the end.
Trying not to think what Chase’s steady appraisal and deep voice did to her, Merri said, “When I made the offer for you to move in, I was doing so as one extended family member to another.”
He lounged against the side of the house, opposite her, his hands folded against his chest. “You’re worried our relationship wouldn’t stay platonic.”
Well, duh. Merri stared at him, knowing a guy so virile and sexy had to have needs, too. Stubbornly, she kept her eyes locked with his even as her heart raced like a wild thing in her chest. “Aren’t you?”
He shrugged, considering. “I think we’re both adults and could handle whatever happens. Or doesn’t.”
Could they? Was she older and wiser now? More adept at limiting her emotional vulnerability? Certainly, she had lost the naivete that had made her believe in fairy-tale romance and happy endings for everyone. Merri gripped the porch railing. “So if I wanted to avoid physical intimacy…”
He squared his shoulders, suddenly looking like a knight charged with protecting his queen. “We would.”
Now who was kidding whom? She hadn’t had a man in heaven knew how long. The way Chase was looking at her…the place he had come from…indicated he was feeling equally deprived. Still, from a purely technical standpoint, it was a win-win solution for both of them. Especially Chase.
Up to now, he had been dealt a very bad hand in all this. Merri felt for him, and wanted to make it up to him, in whatever way she could.
“How long are we talking about?” she asked cautiously. She had lived with Pierce five years. And in the end, lost a big chunk of her prime child-bearing years to a relationship that culminated in pure heartache. Had it not been for having guardianship of the twins, she wasn’t sure what she would have done.
Chase’s big body began to relax. “A year? Maybe less. It all depends on how fast the twins acclimate to the idea of me being their dad.”
Although the pair had been wary when they’d first greeted him, Merri knew they’d warm up to him a lot more quickly than he probably thought. “And once they do,” she prodded, taking a deep breath as she searched for other pitfalls, “then what?”
He frowned, all protective male again. “If we’re happy—and I have every faith we will be once we all adjust—then we stay a family.”
Merri cautioned herself not to be overly optimistic about that. “And if one of us…wants more than a mere arrangement?” Such as enduring love, which had always eluded her in the past. “Then what?” she prodded.
“We can always divorce,” he said simply.
Merri groaned in dismay.
He shrugged, looking ready for whatever came. “People do it all the time. The kids would adapt to that, too.”
Merri drew another breath as her pulse picked up a notch. “Is that what you want?” She studied him. “A hasty marriage followed by a broken family?”
“What I want,” Chase groaned, “is for this not to have happened. For Sasha and Scott not to have betrayed me. Or put either of us in this impossible situation.” He grimaced. “Since I can’t undo their mistakes, I guess I want what I’ve always wanted. A wife who will stand by my side, and a family to come home to every night.”
He paused as they both reflected on that. Merri realized they were closer in outlook than she’d thought.
“But—” Chase sighed “—that hasn’t happened.” He shrugged his broad shoulders. “It may never happen. Let’s face it, Merri. I’m thirty-six…”
Achingly aware she needed to be realistic, too, she murmured, “I’m thirty-four.” And her own fertility was waning by the day.
Their gazes met.
“Maybe it’s past time to quit waiting for everything to be perfect,” he said simply.
Merri thought about what he was proposing. She struggled to contain her shock. “Together,” she affirmed softly.
He rubbed a hand across his jaw. “Arranged marriages have succeeded on a whole lot less.”
With a beleaguered sigh of her own, Merri said, “I think this is more a marriage of convenience.”
“Whatever.” Briefly, irritation creased his handsome features. “You get my drift.”
She did. And the most startling thing was that his suggestion didn’t feel nearly as outrageous as it should. Maybe because she was disappointed in the hand fate had dealt her thus far, too. She was tired of waiting for the once-in-a-lifetime love that might never happen for her. And depriving herself of all the things she wanted in the meantime.
A contentious silence fell between them.
Merri figured as long as they were discussing this, she might as well put it all out there. She folded her arms. “Okay, let’s pretend for a moment that the family part works out great. What are we going to do about sex?”
Because if she was honest, she could easily see herself succumbing to his considerable charm. Whenever she was close to him, she felt a zing of chemistry between them.
Chase narrowed his eyes. “If it happens, it’s consensual. And only with each other, as long as we’re married.”
“I agree anything extramarital would be a very bad idea.”
He cleared his throat and folded his own arms, the motion drawing her eyes to the muscular contours of his chest. “The point is, we can’t do anything about the time I’ve already lost with the twins. I want to be part of my kids’ lives and I want to do it in such a way that doesn’t rob you of any time with them.” He paused and leaned toward her, further invading her personal space.
He lowered his voice. “I respect and appreciate all you have done for them thus far. I just want to be part of the process, part of the family unit. And if marriage is the only way that Judge Roy will allow me to become their co-guardian—” he paused again, and she looked straight into his mesmerizing eyes “—then I don’t see any other way for me to start making up for lost time.”
“We could do it unofficially.”
He flashed a crooked smile. “The kids deserve better than that. They deserve a real family. And if there’s even a chance that we can give them that…”
He was right. Merri released a shaky breath. “Okay. I’ll do it. On one condition....”
Lines of concern bracketed his sensual lips. “And that is…?”
Merri forged ahead. “That I get something I really want out of all this, too.”
“And what would that be?” He lifted a brow.
Overwhelmed by the restlessness stirring inside her, Merri angled a thumb at her chest. “What I’ve never had and always wanted. To carry a child inside me.”
“You want to have my baby?”
Her daring surprising her, too, Merri gestured weakly. “We’ve already had two via medical procedure…”
Chase went still. His gaze roamed her, head to toe, then lingered on her lips. “You’re asking me to impregnate you?”
He didn’t have to sound so dumbfounded! “Donate sperm,” Merri clarified.
Slowly, she saw her idea sink in. A corner of his mouth quirked. “I think if we decide to do this, I’d want to do it the old-fashioned way.”
Me, too, if I was being completely honest. Merri suppressed a sigh. As their gazes continued to mesh, she wondered if she could really do that. Did she have it in her to love strictly as a means to an end? Amazingly enough, if the oh-so-sexy Chase Armstrong was the baby’s daddy, and her lifelong dream was at stake, she imagined she could. Especially if it meant a more romantic conception for the only baby she was ever likely to have.
“All right,” she allowed. “We’ll…” She gulped and forced herself to go on courageously. “We’ll try it the old-fashioned way.” She lifted a cautioning hand. “But only when the time is right.”
Chase nodded, suddenly acting more like a duty-bound medical professional than a sexually accommodating husband-to-be. “I trust you’ll let me know when you’re ovulating.”
Merri nodded, pretending she was as relaxed about the idea of them making love as he seemed. “Sure,” she said, in the most casual tone she could manage.
Another silence fell, this one more companionable. Suddenly the air was charged with hope. “In the meantime,” Chase said in his typical take-charge way, “if we’re really going to get hitched…how about we start taking care of the legalities?”
* * *
“YOU AND THAT MAN—” Jessalyn pointed to Chase, still trying to comprehend what she and her twin brother had been told “—are getting married?”
Merri was still amazed at how quickly Chase had set everything up. But clearly he was a man on a mission—and the whole town seemed to have rallied around the returning local hero. “Yes.” She slipped the blue velvet dress over the little girl’s head, and buttoned up the back. “Chase and I are getting married.”
Jessalyn sat down to shove her leotard-clad feet into her Mary Janes. “Well, then how come you’re not wearing a white dress—like my Wedding Barbie doll?”
Merri turned to help Jeffrey button his shirt and slip on his tie. Quelling her own nerves, she explained gently, “Because it’s not that kind of wedding. It’s a small, private ceremony in the hospital chapel.”
Jessalyn rose and flounced closer. “But weddings are s’posed to be in a church, not a hospital.”
Merri smiled indulgently as her husband-to-be joined them. “Not always.”
