Gina's Little Secret

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‘I see. So it was purely a desire to help me that kept you quiet,’ he said smoothly.

‘I … Yes, that’s right.’ A little colour touched her cheeks as she reached for her pen. ‘I’m glad you understand that it was in your best interests that I said nothing, Dr Andretti.’

‘And how about your interests, Gina? Was it in your best interests that you remain silent, I wonder?’

He knew he’d scored a hit when he saw her face pale but, oddly, it didn’t give him any pleasure. To know that something must have happened in the past to make her so afraid of him was very hard to take. His tone was gentler when he continued, less confrontational. ‘Look, Gina, I don’t want to cause trouble. Not for you or for me. I just want to fill in as many of the blanks as possible.’

He shrugged, aware that it wasn’t usual for him to admit to any feelings of weakness. Normally he preferred to keep his emotions under wraps but he needed to draw her out, if he could. ‘I cannot begin to explain how terrifying it is not to be able to recall what has happened in your life. Even though I now remember quite a lot, there are many questions that still need answering.’

‘What sort of questions?’ she asked, and he frowned when he heard the tremor in her voice. It was obvious that she was under a great deal of strain and he hated to think that he was adding to the pressure on her, but he needed to find out all he could about this situation.

‘I don’t know!’ he declared in sudden frustration. ‘When you forget so much about your life, everything becomes a question. What do I enjoy doing when I’m not working, for instance? Where did I go for my last holiday? I can’t answer either of those things!’ He ran his hands through his hair, wishing he could physically force the memories to surface, and winced when his fingers encountered the tender spot above his ear.

‘Sit down.’ Gina was around the desk in a trice. She steered him towards a chair then went to the filing cabinet and switched on the kettle sitting on the top. ‘I’ll make you a cup of coffee. It’s only instant, I’m afraid. Sorry. I know you dislike it but it’s all we have.’

‘That is exactly what I mean.’ Marco sighed when she glanced round. ‘I didn’t know that I dislike instant coffee because I didn’t remember.’

The ghost of a smile touched her mouth. ‘Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything then you wouldn’t have been disappointed.’

Marco laughed. ‘Ignorance is bliss—isn’t that a saying you have in this country?’

‘Yes, it is.’ Her smile faded abruptly as she picked up the jar of coffee. ‘Sometimes it’s better to live in ignorance.’

Marco had no idea what to say to that. He knew instinctively that she wasn’t referring to his loss of memory and it puzzled him. What did she know that she didn’t want anyone to find out?

His breath caught as he watched her pour boiling water into the mugs because he realised that he needed to amend that question. What did Gina know that she didn’t want him finding out?

Gina placed the cups on the desk and sat down. She could feel herself trembling and took a deep breath. At some point during the past few minutes she had reached a decision. She wasn’t going to tell Marco about Lily. Maybe she would regret it later but she would worry about it then. Right now, it seemed more important that she keep her daughter’s existence a secret from him.

At the moment Lily was a happy and well-adjusted little girl. Gina had taken great care to ensure that the child enjoyed a stable home life. One of the reasons why she had ruled out having another relationship was because of the effect it could have on Lily. She had seen it happen to friends’ children. New partners arrived on the scene and the family’s dynamics had to alter accordingly. She didn’t want that for Lily, didn’t want her daughter to grow up surrounded by people who came and went in her life. She wanted Lily to have security.

If she told Marco about Lily, there was no knowing what he would do. Maybe he would be indifferent to the fact that he had a daughter but, more worryingly, he might want to play a role in the child’s life, at least for a while. She couldn’t bear to think that Lily might grow attached to him only to be let down at some point in the future. As she knew to her cost Marco could very easily change his mind.

Thoughts rushed through her head until she felt dizzy. She took a sip of her coffee, hoping it would steady her. If she was to stop Marco learning about Lily’s existence then she would need to be extremely careful about what she said.

‘How did we meet?’

She looked up when he spoke, feeling her heart jerk when she saw the way he was watching her so intently. He had always been very astute and she mustn’t make the mistake of underestimating him. Although she hated to talk about the past, she knew it would be better to tell him the truth—as far as she could.

‘I flew over to Florence to collect a patient you’d been treating,’ she answered, pleased to hear that her voice held no trace of the nervousness she felt.

‘I see.’ He frowned. ‘Obviously, you weren’t working here at the time.’

‘I worked for a company that repatriates clients to the UK when they’re taken ill abroad.’ She shrugged. ‘The gentleman I was due to collect had suffered a stroke. It was supposed to be quite straightforward. I’d collect him from the hospital and accompany him back to England. Unfortunately, he suffered a second stroke shortly before I arrived and you decided that he wasn’t fit to fly.’

‘So what happened then? Did you return to England?’

Gina heard the curiosity in his voice and realised there was no point prevaricating. ‘No. The patient’s family asked if I would stay while he was in hospital. He was on his own and they felt it would help if he had someone with him.’ She shrugged. ‘The family offered to pay my salary and the firm I worked for agreed to let me take some leave, so I said yes.’

‘For how long?’ Marco demanded.

‘Six weeks.’

His brows rose. ‘That seems an excessive amount of time to me. Surely your patient was fit to travel before then?’

This was the difficult bit, the part she didn’t want to explain. ‘Sadly, the patient died a week later.’

‘But you didn’t go home?’

She shook her head.

‘Why not?’

‘I’d never visited Florence before and it seemed like the perfect opportunity to see something of the city and surrounding area.’

‘So you stayed to do some sightseeing?’ His tone was flat and she couldn’t blame it for the shiver that passed through her. It took every scrap of composure she could muster to answer.

‘Yes.’ She stood up, making a great show of checking her watch. ‘I’m sorry but I really do need to get on.’

‘Of course.’ He stood up as well, looking so big and male as he towered over that her heart beat all the harder. ‘Will you just answer me one final question, Gina?’

‘If I can.’

‘Did you also stay on in Florence because of me?’

Gina bit her lip. She could lie, of course, but she knew him well enough to guess that he would see through it. Tipping back her head, she looked him in the eyes. ‘Yes, I did. Now, if that’s all …’

She walked around the desk, steeling herself as she passed him. How she ached to touch him, to lay her hand on his arm and tell him the rest, that she had stayed because she had fallen in love with him, had thought he had loved her too, but what was the point? No doubt Marco would remember it all in time, remember those few glorious weeks they’d had before he had realised that he had no longer wanted her, although his memory of what had happened must be very different from hers. Tears pricked her eyes and she turned away. She refused to let him see her cry, refused to let him take away her dignity as well as everything else!

‘I am sorry, Gina, so very sorry that I can’t remember.’

The regret in his voice was almost too much. Somehow she made it out of the door but it was hard to hold onto her composure. When Julie came back from her break, she told her she was going to the canteen and hurriedly departed. And as the lift swept her up to the top floor, the tears that she had held at bay trickled down her cheeks.

She had loved Marco so much! Loved him with her heart, her soul and every scrap of her being, but it hadn’t been enough. Not for him. He had taken her love and tossed it back in her face and there was no way that she would risk that happening again.

Gina took a deep breath as the lift came to a halt. Whatever she and Marco had had was over. What she needed to focus on now was Lily—the one good thing to have come out of the whole terrible experience. So long as Lily was safe and happy, nothing else mattered.

If he had hoped that talking to Gina would set his mind at rest, Marco was disappointed. He spent the night thinking about what he had learned or, more importantly, what he hadn’t. He sensed that Gina was keeping something from him and had no idea how he could find out what it was. Maybe he should wait until his memory returned of its own accord and go from there?

He sighed. He had no idea how long it would be before he could remember everything that had happened and he wasn’t sure if he could wait. It was obvious that Gina wasn’t going to tell him anything else, so if he was to find out what she was keeping from him then he would have to start digging for the information himself. And to do that, he needed to get out of here. When Steven Pierce arrived shortly after eight a.m. Marco could barely contain his impatience.

‘Good morning, Dr Andretti. How are you feeling today?’ Steven enquired as he lifted Marco’s chart off the end of the bed. The night staff had gone off duty by then and there was another nurse with him who introduced herself as Sister Thomas. Marco found himself wishing that it was Gina standing there, Gina with her soothing voice, her gentle manner, her beautiful smile. The world always seemed a much nicer place when Gina was around.

The thought slid into his head and he knew that it had occurred to him before. There was a familiarity about it that resonated deep inside him. Marco took a quick breath, feeling little waves of panic rippling along his veins. Gina had meant something to him in the past, something more than he would have expected if they’d had a casual affair. And the fact that any woman could have had this effect on him after Francesca stunned him.

‘Dr Andretti?’

‘Scusi.’ Marco hurriedly marshalled his thoughts when he realised that Steven was waiting for him to answer. ‘I am feeling a lot better this morning, thank you.’

‘Good. That’s what we like to hear, isn’t it, Sister?’

‘Indeed, Doctor.’

Marco tried not to wince when the woman spoke. She had a particularly irritating voice, rather nasal and high-pitched, completely different from Gina’s low, sweet tones … He stamped down hard on that thought, forcing himself to concentrate as Steven asked him a series of questions aimed, Marco suspected, at checking how much of his memory had returned.

‘That’s excellent,’ the registrar concluded. ‘You obviously recall a lot more today than you did yesterday. Most people suffering from retrograde amnesia find that the gap in their memory continues to shrink over a period of time. I’m hoping that is what will happen with you.’

‘Do you have any idea how long it will be before I remember everything?’ Marco demanded. Maybe he would feel easier if he knew that in a week’s time, say, he would remember all about him and Gina. What was so frustrating was the fact that he had no idea when the details of their relationship would come back to him.

‘Sadly, that’s a question I can’t answer. It could be hours or it could be months.’ Steven’s tone was sombre. ‘To be perfectly frank, Dr Andretti, your memory might never come back completely. It’s one of the hardest things anyone who has suffered from amnesia has to live with, the feeling that there may be something he or she can’t remember. All I can advise you to do is to take it one step at a time and see what happens.’

Marco knew that it was good advice, advice he, himself, would have given a patient. However, it was very different being on the receiving end. ‘Surely there is something you can do to speed up the process!’

‘I’m afraid not.’ Steven looked a little taken aback by his vehemence. ‘Rest and relaxation are what will help most at the moment. That’s why I’ve arranged for you to be transferred to a private room. You should find it more peaceful there.’

‘No.’ Marco shook his head. ‘I have no intention of remaining here. I feel perfectly fine, quite well enough to leave.’

‘Oh, I really don’t think that is a good idea,’ Steven began, but Marco held up his hand.

‘I have made my decision. Physically, I am fit enough to leave, do you agree?’

‘Well, yes,’ Steven conceded.

‘Bene. So the only problem I have is my inability to remember everything that has happened in the past and as you have just told me, Dr Pierce, there is no knowing how long it will be before that issue resolves itself.’ He shrugged. ‘I cannot remain here indefinitely.’

‘I appreciate that, Dr Andretti. However, a couple more days could make a huge difference,’ Steven insisted. ‘With rest and relaxation, maybe some counselling, we could achieve a real breakthrough.’

‘I can rest at my hotel,’ Marco assured him, knowing the younger man had his best interests at heart. That thought reminded him of what Gina had said and he knew that no matter what else happened, he had to get to the bottom of this mystery. If he and Gina had been more than simply lovers, he needed to know!

The thought sent a rush of heat coursing through him and he cleared his throat, stunned by the speed of his response. Although Gina was a beautiful woman, he had met other equally beautiful women over the past few years and had never reacted this strongly. What was it about her that seemed to touch him on so many levels? he wondered. He had no idea but he couldn’t deny that she affected him deeply.

‘I appreciate your concern, Dr Pierce, but I assure you that I know what I’m doing,’ he said, forcing himself to focus on the issue at hand. ‘I shall leave this morning and go to my hotel.’

‘Do you remember where you’re staying?’ Steven put in quickly.

Marco named the hotel and smiled wryly. ‘I stay there whenever I’m in London, as I recall.’

‘I see.’ Steven looked resigned. ‘Obviously, I can’t keep you here against your will, but I do hope you’ll be sensible, Dr Andretti. If you experience any problems, please get in touch with us immediately.’

‘I shall.’ Marco smiled as he held out his hand. ‘Thank you for everything. You have been extremely kind.’

‘Just doing my job,’ Steven assured him, shaking hands.

Marco didn’t waste a single moment after the other man left. He drew the curtains around the bed and got dressed. His clothes looked decidedly worse for wear but as he didn’t have anything else, he put them on. He had no idea what had happened to his luggage. It was probably still in the back of the hire car, but that was the least of his worries. How long would it be before he remembered what had happened between him and Gina? A day? A week? A month? A year?

He shook his head. He couldn’t wait that long. He had to persuade her to tell him the truth, but it wasn’t going to be easy. All he could do was try to gain her trust—if he could. Something warned him that getting Gina to trust him was going to be an uphill struggle.

CHAPTER FIVE

12 December

GINA was dreading going into work that night in case Marco was still there. Although he should have been transferred by now, it depended on whether a bed had been found for him. It was a relief when she discovered that the end bay was occupied by another patient. At least she wouldn’t have to field any more awkward questions that night, although she wasn’t foolish enough to think it would be the end of the matter. Marco obviously suspected something was wrong and she knew him well enough to know that he wouldn’t simply give up.

Panic assailed her at the thought of the harm it could cause if he found out about Lily. If only she could predict how he would react, it would be so much easier, but that was something she couldn’t do. She had no idea if he would be thrilled or furious to learn he had a daughter, and no idea at all how he would feel about it in the long term. As she knew from experience, Marco could blow hot one minute and cold the next, and there was no way that Lily was going to be subjected to his mood swings.

Gina’s heart was heavy as she set to work. It wasn’t in her nature to be deceitful, but she had to do what she believed was best for Lily. Rosie was working again that night so they made a start on the obs. Julie was supposed to be on duty as well but there was no sign of her. Gina knew they wouldn’t be able to manage with a member of staff short and went into the office to phone the nursing manager to see if she could provide cover. She had just picked up the phone when Julie came rushing in.

‘Sorry! My car broke down and I had to leave it in the street and walk the rest of the way.’ Julie looked worried as she unravelled her scarf. ‘I hope it won’t cost a fortune to get it fixed. With Christmas just around the corner, money’s really tight.’

‘Fingers crossed it will be something minor,’ Gina said sympathetically. Julie had three teenage children and Gina knew how hard she and her husband worked to pay all the bills.

‘Fingers and toes,’ Julie agreed, grimacing. ‘Right, so what needs doing first? Obs?’

‘Please. It’s not quite as hectic as last night but we’re still pretty full. Go and put your coat away and then we’ll finish the obs. Bearing in mind that it’s Friday, I’m sure business will pick up soon.’

‘Bound to,’ Julie replied cheerfully. ‘By the way, is that dishy Italian doctor still with us? It would be nice to have a stunner like him to look at instead of the usual Friday night drunks.’

Gina dredged up a smile. ‘You’re out of luck, I’m afraid. There’s another patient in the end bay so I assume he’s been moved to Neurology.’

‘Pity. I could have done with a pick-me-up after the evening I’ve had.’

Julie laughed as she hurried away. Gina sighed as she went to check on Rosie. She didn’t want to keep thinking about Marco but it was impossible not to do so. It was the uncertainty that was worst of all, the fact that she had no idea what he would do next. Would he seek her out and try to get more information out of her about their past?

The thought made her stomach churn. Every time she spoke to him, she ran the risk of saying something revealing, and it was worrying to know how easily she could trip up. Quite frankly, it would suit her fine if she never had to see Marco Andretti again!

Marco spent the day resting in his hotel room. Despite his claims, he felt far weaker than he had expected when he had left the hospital. It was a relief when the porter showed him to his room.

He tipped the man and asked him to send up a pot of coffee. Although there were coffee-making facilities in the room, he couldn’t face another cup of instant brew. Gina was right—he did hate it—and the fact that she remembered such a minor detail seemed to highlight this problem he had. They must have been very close if she knew his likes and dislikes, so why couldn’t he remember what had gone on between them?