Adam's Daughter

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‘Spare me the sympathy. Now, are you coming or shall I go and find Hannah by myself?’

He didn’t wait for her to reply as he pushed open the door. Beth led the way, feeling sick with nerves because she still wasn’t sure how he was going to handle this meeting. Hannah had always been shy with strangers and she’d grown even more introverted since her mother had died. Although she seemed to have accepted the nurses and doctors with whom she came into daily contact, Beth knew how quickly the little girl could clam up with someone new. Would Adam understand that and make allowances?

Beth’s nerves felt as taut as violin strings as she led the way to Hannah’s bed. The staff had tried to make the ward as child-friendly as possible by covering the walls with posters and using colourful linen on the beds rather than the regulation hospital white. However, there was no escaping from the fact that the children in there were very sick.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw Adam’s head turn as they passed one child after another. Most were hooked up to drips that were pumping potent cocktails of chemicals into their small bodies. All the children in the ward had cancer in one form or another and they were treated with a vast array of drugs.

Some were designed to destroy the cancerous cells, others to protect against infection, always a major concern. Then there were the transfusions of blood and platelets they all needed at regular intervals. It could be a little overwhelming to someone visiting the ward for the first time.

‘All these kids…’ Adam took a deep breath but she could see the pain in his eyes when he looked at her. ‘I never realised that there were so many children suffering like this.’

‘It does come as a shock, even when you work in medicine,’ she agreed softly. She caught sight of Hannah and waved, feeling her nerves tighten that little bit more when she felt Adam stiffen. Without stopping to think, she caught hold of his hand and squeezed it.

‘It will be fine, you’ll see. Just don’t worry if Hannah doesn’t say much to you. She’s very shy at first with strangers.’

He winced at that and Beth could have bitten her tongue for her lack of tact. Letting go of his hand, she quickly went to the child’s bed and bent down to kiss her.

‘Hello, darling. I’m sorry I’m late. It was really busy tonight at the surgery and I got held up.’

She ran her hand lightly over the child’s head, feeling the prickle of stubble under her fingers. Hannah’s hair had fallen out because of the drugs she had been receiving. It would grow again once she had completed her treatment, but Beth still grieved for the loss of the beautiful black curls because they had been a symbol of the fit and healthy child that her niece had been once upon a time.

Now as she turned to Adam and caught the fleeting expression of anguish on his face she knew that he was remembering the photograph she had shown him earlier. What a shock it must be for him to compare that child with the one in the bed. Unconsciously, her tone softened.

‘Adam, I’d like you to meet Hannah. Come and say hello to her.’

She stepped aside so that he could approach the bed. He moved slowly, smiling at the child as he bent down and took her thin little hand in his large one and gravely shook it.

‘Hello, Hannah. I hope you don’t mind me coming to see you. Aunty Beth told me all about you, you see, and I asked her if I could visit you.’

Beth felt a lump come to her throat when she heard the tenderness in his voice. She realised that she was holding her breath as she waited to see how Hannah would respond.

‘Are you and Aunty Beth friends?’ Hannah asked, staring up at him with huge, curious blue eyes, eyes that were exactly the same colour as Adam’s were.

‘That’s right, sweetheart.’ He gave the child another warm smile and, surprisingly, she smiled back.

‘That’s OK, then,’ she said with a worldly wisdom that made them both laugh.

Adam glanced at Beth and she saw the relief in his eyes and knew that he had been as worried as she had been about this first meeting. Realising it, it helped to allay her fears so that she found herself able to relax. Adam wouldn’t deliberately do anything that might harm her precious niece.

‘So, what did you do this afternoon, poppet?’ she asked, moving a chair closer to the bed so that she could sit down. She was very conscious of Adam standing behind her, his arms folded across his broad chest as he listened while the little girl related everything she had done since Beth had seen her at lunchtime. When he shifted slightly, she found herself jumping nervously and had to force herself to concentrate on what Hannah was saying.

‘What sort of a picture did you draw, Hannah?’ Adam asked after Hannah had finished telling them about the lessons she had done that afternoon. The children were in hospital for such a long time that they had a teacher who came each day to keep them up to date with their school work. Hannah had drawn a picture that day as part of her work.

‘I’ll show you if you like,’ the little girl offered shyly. ‘See.’

She picked up a piece of paper from her bedside locker and gave it to him to look at. Beth felt her pulse leap when he leant forward to take it from the child and his arm brushed hers. She had been so keyed up before that she hadn’t noticed that he’d changed out of the clothes he’d been wearing earlier. Now she found herself drinking in the sight of his lean muscular body clad in well-washed denim jeans and a faded black T-shirt. She couldn’t help thinking how good he looked in the casual outfit, so much better than Ian had ever looked in his expensive suits.

The thought surprised her but she quickly dismissed it. She glanced at the picture that Adam was holding and laughed when she saw what her niece had drawn.

‘Is that what I think it is, young lady?’ she teased, pointing to a spot in the bottom right-hand corner of the drawing.

Adam raised his brows when Hannah giggled. ‘What’s the joke? Come on, don’t be meanies—tell me what’s so funny.’

Beth smiled as she looked at her niece. ‘This little madam keeps hinting that she wants a dog for her birthday and she doesn’t miss any opportunity to remind me about it. Every time she draws a picture she manages to sneak a dog into it somewhere!’

Adam chuckled when she pointed to a strange-looking creature in the corner of the picture. It was obvious that he hadn’t realised what it was meant to be but he tactfully didn’t say so. ‘Ah, I see. It looks like it could be a Labrador to me. When is your birthday, Hannah?’

‘Next month. I’ll be seven,’ Hannah informed him importantly.

Beth saw his face cloud over and hurriedly cut in. She knew that he must be thinking about all the years that he’d missed. ‘If anyone in the ward has a birthday the nurses give them a party. I expect they’ll give you one, too, poppet. Won’t that be fun?’

‘S’pose so,’ the child agreed wistfully. ‘But it won’t be as much fun as last year when Mummy gave me a party and all my friends from school came.’

Beth bit back a sigh because there was little she could say to contradict that. Fortunately, Rose Johnson, one of the staff nurses on the ward, came to check Hannah’s drip just then so the child was distracted.

‘That’s fine,’ Rose said when she had finished. Beth had met Rose when they’d done their training together and they had been firm friends ever since. She suspected that there had been an ulterior motive as to why Rose had chosen to check the drip at that precise moment, and she was proved right when her friend looked pointedly at Adam.

‘I see that you’ve got another visitor tonight, Hannah. Aren’t you going to introduce me?’

‘This is Adam and he’s a friend of Aunty Beth’s,’ the child explained, and for some reason Beth found herself blushing.

‘Is he indeed?’ Rose treated Beth to an old-fashioned look before she turned to smile at Adam. ‘Nice to meet you, Adam. Will we be seeing more of you around here in the future?’

Beth glared at her friend but Rose pretended not to notice. Fortunately, Adam seemed unaware of any undercurrents. ‘You can be sure of it,’ he replied evenly. ‘I shall be a regular visitor from now on.’

Rose’s brows rose. ‘Really? Well, I’ll look forward to seeing you again, then.’

Beth glared at her friend as Rose turned to leave but all she got in return was a smug smile. She sighed as she watched Rose making her way down the ward. She’d bet a pound to a penny that she knew what her friend was thinking, but Rose was wrong! Adam might have gone along with Hannah’s innocent introduction but did he really see himself as her friend? Could he ever be that when he blamed her as much as he blamed Claire for keeping the child’s existence a secret?

It was an oddly painful thought and Beth found it difficult to put it out of her mind while she chatted to Hannah. When she noticed that the child was beginning to tire, she stood up, glad to be able to bring the visit to an end. Introducing Adam to Hannah was bound to have been difficult for all of them but things should get easier from now on, she assured herself.

‘It’s time you were asleep, sweetheart. I’ll see you tomorrow.’ She bent and kissed the little girl. ‘Night-night, sleep tight. Mind the bed bugs—’

‘Don’t bite,’ Hannah finished for her, yawning widely. Her lids were already starting to droop as Beth moved away from the bed but they suddenly shot up as she looked at Adam. ‘Will you come to see me tomorrow as well, Adam?’

‘Of course I will.’ He stepped forward and after the tiniest hesitation brushed the child’s pale cheek with his lips. ‘Goodnight, Hannah. Sweet dreams.’

‘Night-night, Adam.’

Hannah’s eyes had closed before they were halfway down the ward. Adam paused by the door to look back and Beth could tell what an effort it cost him to contain his feelings.

‘She’s so tiny and frail, isn’t she? She looks as though a puff of wind would blow her away,’ he said thickly.

‘She’s stronger than you think, a real little fighter. The fact that she’s got this far is a measure of her spirit,’ she told him softly, knowing what he must be going through.

‘She still has a long way to go, though. Even if she has this bone-marrow transplant there are no guarantees that she will pull through.’

Beth heard the pain in his voice and wanted with all her heart to reassure him, but it would have been wrong to lie.

‘No, there are no guarantees but we can’t afford to think like that, Adam. We have to be positive and convince ourselves that the transplant will work.’ She shrugged when he looked at her. ‘When hope is all you have then it becomes doubly important that you never lose sight of it.’

‘It can’t have been easy for you these past months, Beth.’ He opened the door for her, stopping once again when they were out in the corridor. His blue eyes were intent as he searched her face. Beth had the funniest feeling that he was trying to look deep inside her mind and looked away, unsure why the idea disturbed her so much.

‘It hasn’t been. But it’s been much worse for Hannah. She’s the one who has lost her mother and is now fighting for her life,’ she replied huskily. She had only met Adam a few short hours ago so why should she imagine that he could read her mind?

‘But you’re the one who has had to be strong. The one who has had to live with this nightmare day after day.’ He took hold of her hands and gripped them hard. ‘Thank you, Beth. Thank you for everything that you’ve done for Hannah.’

Beth felt herself choke up and quickly withdrew her hands. ‘You’ll have me crying all over you if you keep on like that,’ she admonished with a shaky laugh. ‘And I’m quite sure that’s something you want to avoid!’

‘Heavens, yes!’ He feigned horror as he glanced down. ‘You might start crying all over this T-shirt and that would never do. The thought of the damage all those salty tears could cause sends shudders down my spine!’

Beth chuckled, grateful for his attempts to lighten the mood. ‘I can imagine. You need to be very careful with antique fabric like that.’

‘I hope that wasn’t meant as a criticism. I’ll have you know that this T-shirt is priceless. I defy you to find another one like it!’

His smile was unashamedly teasing as he started walking along the corridor. Beth felt her spirits lift when she looked at his laughing face. Maybe it was crazy, but just knowing that Adam was going to be around seemed to have taken some of the burden off her shoulders.

‘Priceless? Well, I certainly wouldn’t want to guess how much it’s worth,’ she retorted. She was still smiling as they rounded a corner on their way to the lifts and almost collided with the man who was coming in the opposite direction.

‘Oops, sorry…!’ she began then found her voice drying up when she realised that it was her ex-fiancé, Ian Patterson.

‘Hello, Beth. Fancy running into you like this,’ he said with a distinctly unpleasant smile. ‘How’s the new job going? You’re not sorry yet that you decided to leave the bright city lights behind?’

‘Not at all. I’m really enjoying working at the surgery,’ she replied stiffly. She hadn’t seen Ian for some time but the memory of what had happened between them still rankled. After Claire had died, she had taken Hannah to live with her and Ian, confident that he’d shared her desire to give the child a secure and loving home. However, it hadn’t taken her long to realise that she’d made a huge mistake.

Now she tilted her chin and stared defiantly at him. ‘Hannah is fine, by the way. I’m sure you were going to ask about her so I’ll save you the trouble.’

‘You already know my views on that subject,’ he replied bluntly. ‘If you choose to waste your life by looking after someone else’s kid then that’s your business.’

He glanced at Adam and she saw an expression of disdain cross his face as he took stock of the other man’s appearance. It was obvious when Ian turned away without uttering a word that he intended to ignore him. However, it appeared that wasn’t what Adam wanted.

‘Aren’t you going to introduce us, Beth? Never mind, I’ll do it for you. I’m Adam Knight.’ Adam held out his hand. Beth saw Ian hesitate before he reluctantly shook it.

It struck her then that she had never realised just what a snob Ian was. She had always known that he was ambitious and that his aim was to mix with the very top levels of society. She had found it rather endearing, in fact, a tiny flaw in his otherwise perfect character. However, now she could see that there was nothing endearing about the way Ian looked down on people whom he considered inferior.

‘Sorry, I didn’t catch your name?’ Adam’s tone was so courteous that she couldn’t explain the shiver that crept down her spine. She shot him a wary glance but there was nothing about the polite smile he gave Ian to confirm her suspicions that he was up to something.

‘Ian Patterson, senior registrar on the coronary care unit. Basically, it means that I’m in charge of the unit for most of the time,’ Ian stated pompously.

‘Really?’ Adam looked impressed. Beth saw Ian start to relax, confident that he was on safe ground. However, she had a horrible feeling that he was going to regret that rather large distortion of the truth. Although Ian’s position was a senior one, he was one of three registrars on the coronary care unit, and by no means the head of the team.

‘You must have to shoulder an awful lot of responsibility in a job like that,’ Adam continued in a tone that simply invited confidences. ‘It must be terribly stressful at times.’

‘I suppose it can be if you’re that type of person,’ Ian replied, positively preening under all the interest. ‘However, making life and death decisions comes easier to some than it does to others.’

‘I see. Obviously you find it easy—to make life-and-death decisions, I mean,’ Adam said mildly.

Beth bit her lip because she didn’t know whether to laugh or admonish him for the way he was leading Ian on. Couldn’t Ian see that he was being led like a lamb to the slaughter? Apparently not!

‘Oh, yes. I have no difficulty at all with that. The trick is to take a dispassionate view. Unfortunately, far too many doctors get emotionally involved with the people they treat.’

Ian was getting into his stride now as he expounded his views. ‘That’s a big mistake. One needs to think of them merely as cases. That way you can do your job far more efficiently.’

‘And James feels the same as you do?’ Adam inserted smoothly.

‘James?’ Ian repeated, before he suddenly paled. ‘You know James Dickinson, the consultant on Coronary Care?’

‘Yes. Sorry, didn’t I mention it before?’ Adam laughed deeply. ‘James and I go way back. We were at Guys together as housemen. We still keep in touch. In fact, I’m hoping to get together with him in the next couple of weeks. I must remember to mention that I met you. Patterson, wasn’t it? Senior registrar?’

‘I…um. Yes. Fine. Well, if you’ll excuse me.’ Ian hurried away, still muttering.

Beth took a deep breath and somehow managed to contain her mirth until they were safely inside the lift. ‘Oh, that was wonderful! I can’t believe that you did that, Adam. I can’t believe that Ian fell for it either!’

Adam smiled as the lift whizzed them down to the ground floor. ‘Everyone needs taking down a peg or two occasionally. Some deserve it more than others.’

‘Ian definitely deserved it! I can’t understand why I never realised how pompous and self-opinionated he is,’ she admitted ruefully. The lift reached the ground floor just then so they got out and walked towards the exit.

‘People always say that love is blind. I think that can apply to character as well as appearance,’ Adam observed as they left the building and walked back to the car.

Night had drawn in now and the light had dimmed to a blue-grey opalescence. There were few people about at that hour and those they passed seemed more concerned with their own affairs. It was a moment that simply invited confidences and Beth found herself suddenly eager to pour out the whole miserable story.