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“Who are these two little ones I haven’t met?”
“I’m Evan.”
Will shook his hand.
Madeline didn’t say a word. “That’s my sister, Madeline,” Evan clarified.
Will leaned close. Madeline stared at the colorful drinks. “I have vanilla, chocolate and strawberry. What is your choice?”
Will made no mention of the odd way Maddy sat surrounded by Honey’s hair. Good man.
Madeline pointed to a pink milk shake. Will put it on the place mat in front of her, then asked Evan, Tori and Chelsea which flavors they preferred.
The front doorbell rang.
“It’s like Grand Central Station in here,” Cole muttered before remembering he was interviewing today.
God, he was tired.
Honey headed downstairs. The room had filled up with adults and children, but the second Honey left, so did all of the room’s warmth.
Cole’s mantra—if Honey is there, I am aware—ran through him.
She returned with Tanya Mayhall.
Tanya, a solidly built, affectionate middle-aged woman with not one sharp edge about her, searched the room for Cole with a worried frown.
He stood and approached.
As naturally as the sun rose each day, she took him into her arms.
He went willingly.
If ever a woman was designed to be a mother, it was Tanya. Madeline and Evan might need mothering right now, but, strangely, so did Cole.
Tanya had a strong grip. He returned it. She enveloped him with not only the warmth of her affection and empathy but also a complex cloud of lavender and vanilla.
Cole sighed.
“I’m sorry, my dear,” Tanya whispered. Her response did nothing to change what had happened but was heartfelt and welcome.
Over her shoulder, Cole again noted a puzzling frown from Honey.
Chapter Three (#u16f56e5e-7d70-5373-b068-429879ed1658)
Honey watched another woman embrace Cole.
Why should it bother her? That flash of tenderness toward him earlier had unnerved her with its intensity. She didn’t harbor hopes of a relationship with Cole. So why feel jealous because he was taking hugs from other women? For a woman who knew her own mind, this confusion didn’t sit well with Honey.
Tanya released Cole but held his face between her hands and spoke quietly. The tension in Cole’s shoulders eased.
Tanya brushed a hand across the creases on his brow, and Honey could almost see Cole’s burden lighten.
What was Tanya saying? What words of comfort did she have for Cole that Honey hadn’t managed to come up with?
She’d never felt this lack in herself before.
Why did she feel awkward with Cole, not in everyday life, but now that there was something out of the ordinary happening to him? Now that she was called on to see him differently?
To maybe not take his presence for granted?
Tanya turned to the rest of the group and said hello. A still-handsome woman in her late fifties, she’d raised four great children.
She could certainly handle these two little ones.
When Tanya stepped close to the table and talked to the children, Madeline wouldn’t let Tanya touch her.
Tanya returned to the far end of the room with Cole.
Honey sent the children back into their armchair fort. Chelsea, no longer a child but not yet an adult, either, was allowed into their tiny circle.
Honey poured a cup of tea and brought it to Tanya.
Did Cole even know the right questions to ask a nanny?
He glanced at her, and, in that brief meeting of eyes, she saw doubt.
He gestured with his head for Honey to join them.
Honey knew he was capable. He interviewed criminals all the time. But this was different. Maybe he felt overwhelmed.
* * *
WHEN HONEY HANDED the cup of tea to Tanya and her arm brushed Cole’s shoulder, he struggled not to pull away from her touch, from all of the good feelings she engendered in him. Feelings that scorched where his skin had thinned with grief and need.
He wanted Honey.
He had always wanted her.
He had nowhere to put these feelings, no one he could trust with them.
Honey would never trample his heart, but his judgment had been poor in the past and could be poor still, and it was all tangled up with the awful way he’d been raised.
Normally he could deal with how she affected him and could hide his feelings, but not now when his emotions were a teardrop away.
Not now when he wanted to bury himself in Honey’s grace and good humor and never let go.
Silently, he asked her to join him in the interview. Maybe she would catch something he missed. Maybe she knew something children needed that he hadn’t thought of.
Tanya watched it all with eyes that saw too much.
He hadn’t fooled her. He didn’t think the town knew how he felt about Honey, but Tanya had just caught a glimpse, and that left him uncomfortable. It angered him.
Unacceptable.
Maybe that was why his questions became tougher than merely determining her hours of availability and how she felt about children.
“How would you spend your time with Evan and Madeline?”
“They’re young still. It’s already June so school is over for the year, but I would teach them every day. Along with playtime, they would have studies.”
“Studies?” At Madeline’s age? In the cave, with the barest touch, Chelsea applied hot-pink polish to Madeline’s tiny fingernails.
Madeline watched Chelsea intently. There was barely anything there to paint, those little nails small and fragile.
God, anything, everything could hurt that child. And what about Evan? He put on a better show than Madeline, but Cole knew how much he cried at night for his parents.
“Madeline is young,” he said. Petite. Vulnerable. Depending on him to protect her. “What would those studies look like?”
“It’s never too early to start teaching the alphabet.”
God! The alphabet! “But how would you do that?”
“By showing it to her every day. By reading books and teaching her simple words.”
“That doesn’t sound like fun,” he said.
“Cole, it would be normal for a child her age,” Honey said, watching him with a frown. “Children as young as two can sing the alphabet and enjoy doing so. What Tanya is offering is appropriate.”
“But—” Cole couldn’t articulate why it bothered him. “Tanya, what is your teaching background?”
Her eyes widened. “I don’t have a teacher’s certificate. You know that, Cole. I’ll use the same methods I used with my four children who are all at college now. They’re smart young people.”
“Yes, they are.” Cole knew that, but he glanced at Evan and Madeline, looking too solemn for their ages. “I just want them to have fun.” A little desperately, he added, “Just for the summer.”
Tanya and Honey exchanged a glance. In it, he saw worry. Was he being unreasonable? God, he didn’t know.
“Tanya, thanks for coming in today.” Cole stood and Tanya followed. “I have a couple of other candidates to interview. I’ll call, okay?”
Tanya looked puzzled.
He’d ended the interview too abruptly. His timing and instincts were way off.
“Sure thing, Cole.”
Five minutes later, after she said goodbye to everyone and tried again to connect with Madeline, who turned away, Cole escorted her out of the apartment.
When he came back upstairs, Honey asked quietly, “What was that about?”
“What do you mean?”
“Evan and Madeline are not too young to learn. Sure, Madeline won’t start kindergarten in August, but there’s always preschool.”
Cole dug in. “Madeline’s too young to go to school, even preschool.”
“Are you afraid she’s not ready to meet new kids? She might be by August.”
Cole crossed his arms. “Maybe.”
“Okay then, maybe, but Tanya’s idea of reading to her often and teaching her the alphabet is strong.”
“Maybe.”
Honey hissed out a breath. “Cole, you are not going to damage those children by teaching them. Tanya’s ideas are a low-pressure way to prepare Madeline for school.”
“School!” he spat out. “How can we talk about school? Look at how tiny she is.” He pointed toward the fort. “She’s only three and a half years old!”
Honey backed away from him, and he realized he was looming over her. He eased off.
Honey’s shoulders relaxed. “It’s not as if Tanya was suggesting drills and flash cards.”
“Yeah, but...” He didn’t have a good reason for not choosing Tanya.
“Cole, I know you’re scared—”
“I’m not scared.”
Honey crossed her arms and stared at him.
“I—” Okay, he was scared. All of it—the new parenting, hiring a nanny, being responsible for kids who were still crying at night because they missed their parents—terrified him. “It’s a big decision.”
Honey softened. “Yes, it is.”
“They cry at night,” he admitted and her expression softened.
“I understand.”
Cole shrugged. “I—Honey, I don’t know why, but Tanya’s not quite right.”
“Tanya Mayhall is not quite right to babysit?” Rachel had walked up and heard him. Her skepticism mirrored Honey’s. “She’s perfect.”
Again Cole shrugged, helpless and irritated. “Support me on this. Please.” After a glance between them, they nodded.
Cole retrieved Tanya’s teacup and brought it to the kitchen. Honey took it from him. The second her fingers touched his, he stepped away. She did the same thing. He wasn’t a skittish kind of man. She wasn’t a jumpy woman.
Whew. This situation was getting on everyone’s nerves.
“Who did you book next?” Honey asked.
