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‘I’ve lit a fire and made a simple poultice for your ribs. They need to be bound before you sleep,’ Alwynn said, appearing in the doorway. She’d shed her head covering and shawl and acquired an all-enveloping apron. But it was the way her dark hair escaped its braid that held his attention. ‘By rights I should call a monk.’
‘No!’ Valdar struggled to breathe. ‘You promised to keep my presence quiet.’
She lowered her brows. ‘I retain the right to call in a monk if you require it.’
‘I’ve been injured worse and haven’t required a monk.’ There were no monks in Raumerike, precious few healers for that matter. Kara was the only one who possessed some skill. Most seemed to prefer making sacrifices to various gods. There was little point in explaining how he had cheated the gods by palming the black counter and no god would be interested in intervening on his behalf. Things worked differently with Northumbrians.
‘And you know best?’
‘In this case—yes.’ He deliberately closed his eyes. ‘The sun’s heat is wonderful. Warms my bones. There were moments in the water when I feared I’d never see the sun again.’
‘Do you need help getting into the cottage?’
Confirmation if he needed it that he must look like death.
He began to rise and immediately wished he hadn’t. In the brief time he’d been sitting, his muscles had seized and refused to obey him. He concentrated and tried again, forcing his muscles to move. Every single one protested as he stood.
‘If you have a stick I can lean on, I will go in.’
She hurried to him and grabbed his arm. Her scent acted as a balm, banishing the ache. ‘Are you always this stubborn? Is that why you ended up in the sea?’
‘I jumped,’ he said.
‘Why? Was the boat going down? Will more bodies wash up?’
‘The rest stayed on the boat.’
‘You jumped of your own accord?’ Her voice rose an octave. ‘During a storm?’
Alwynn would not understand about his gods and their demands. The Northumbrians, like the Franks, followed a different religion. He shook his head. His gods had turned their backs on him. Who was he to judge which god was right? From now on he concentrated on living, rather than thinking about things beyond his comprehension.
He glared at her. ‘When the time came, I welcomed it. I wanted to be doing something, rather than waiting for death.’
‘Jumping into the ocean during a storm seems extreme.’
‘There are many ways to die. I took the way which offered me the most hope of surviving.’ He made an impatient gesture. ‘I’ve no idea what happened to my shipmates but they will not be near here. They will have continued on their journey back home, assuming I died. There will be much shedding of false tears when they arrive back in Raumerike.’
‘What had you done?’
‘Nothing except to attempt to keep an oath I gave.’ He ran his hand through his hair. On that dreadful morning when he had stood over Horik’s body and Girmir had demanded he show his loyalty to the new leader, Valdar had vowed to avenge his friend’s death.
She lifted a brow. ‘You keep oaths by jumping into the stormy sea?’
‘I don’t expect you to understand the ways of my people. Simply trust me that it had to be done and that I broke no laws. I follow a code. The same as my father did and his father before him.’
She rolled her eyes upwards. ‘God preserve me from warriors and their honour. But rather than using a stick, take my arm.’
He opened his mouth to ask how a slight person like her could assist him, but then swallowed the words as he remembered how her soft breasts had felt against his side during the journey from the beach. The only reason he had escaped the scavengers was down to her. And he always paid his life debts.
‘I will only trouble you a day or two.’ He ignored the screaming pain in his ribs. ‘Once I am rested, I will move on. I understand what risks you have taken. You will be rewarded. I promise.’
‘No reward is necessary. My code demanded it.’ Her full lips gave a bitter twist. ‘Or don’t you think a woman can have a code?’
‘I know a great number of honourable women.’
‘You want to return to your home and your loved ones. Your honourable women.’
Home. The word left a bitter taste in his mouth. A place of dashed dreams and unfulfilled promises. He had no idea how people would react when he told his tale of Girmir’s betrayal and what had happened afterwards. Would they believe him or Girmir? Girmir was his jaarl’s distant cousin and there had been bad blood between Horik and the jaarl. Valdar shook his head. That was a problem for another day. Right now was about survival.
‘Everyone wants a home, a place where they can feel safe.’
‘For now, consider this your place of safety.’
‘A refuge, rather than a home.’
She draped his arm over her shoulders and glanced up at him. A gentle breeze blew hair across her face. Her eyes were sea green underlain with silver and her lips softly parted. Desire stirred deep within him.
It had been far too long since he’d lain with a woman. Since before Kara. Perhaps it was as his sister-in-law counselled him before he left—a question of time. She hadn’t liked it when he asked her about why she remained unmarried, though. His brother had been gone a long time and she needed protection.
Maybe the queer hold Kara had over him was lessening and he could get on with his life. After he wreaked his revenge on Girmir, then he would inform his sister-in-law that she could start the search for his bride.
Quickly he removed his arm. Alwynn gave him a questioning glance.
‘I am able to walk on my own. I don’t want to crush you with my weight.’
‘You are without a doubt the most stubborn man I’ve met.’ She put her hand on her hip. ‘How do you think you arrived at this cottage in the first place?’
‘Calling someone stubborn is a compliment where I come from.’
He deliberately walked into the cottage, setting his feet down hard and not glancing at her again even though he sensed she hovered at his elbow, ready to catch him if he fell.
On the threshold, he stood and allowed his eyes to adjust to the gloom. The cottage was larger than many in Raumerike and boasted three tapestries on the walls as well as a decent hearth in the centre of the room. A long table dominated one end of the room while a simple pallet of straw lay close to the newly started fire.
‘When will the owner return?’
‘My old nurse uses it. She retired here a few years ago.’ Alwynn turned her back and began to fiddle with the pots on the table. ‘She and my late husband were less than good friends.’
‘Was this nurse a good judge of character?’
She turned her back on him and began smoothing the coverlet. ‘A long time ago she gave me permission to use the cottage whenever I wish.’
‘You are high-born. I know enough about the customs of these lands.’
Her hand stilled. ‘Does it matter?’
‘Why did you try to hide it from me? I’ve no wish to harm you.’
He captured her hand and raised her palm to his lips. She trembled slightly. She quickly withdrew her hand as her cheeks flamed.
She tilted her chin upwards and her eyes blazed green fire. Every inch the imperious lady.
‘There was no hiding. I may have been the lady of a great estate, but no longer. Now I’m simply a woman who tends her garden. My mother would be appalled, but I paid my late husband’s debts without losing my honour or turning away any of our old servants from their homes, including my nurse. So, yes, my nurse is a good judge of character.’
‘Honour is important to you.’
Her eyes flashed fire. ‘Without my honour, I am nothing.’
He kept his face impassive. A deep primitive urge to protect her filled him. Angrily he dampened it down. He had no business here. His business was elsewhere. The people of this land meant nothing to him.
‘I, too, have honour,’ he said instead, seeking to put his debt to her on more formal terms. ‘I owe you a life debt...Lady Alwynn. I always pay my debts. Know this and keep it in your heart.’
Her brows drew together. ‘What does that mean? A life debt?’
‘You saved me. I owe you something for that, regardless of what your code demands.’ He allowed a smile to touch his lips. His debt to this woman was no different from the ones he’d owed to various warriors who had saved his back. ‘My life is very precious to me.’
‘Not jumping off any more boats would do for a start.’ She moved away from him. ‘I’ve not done anything special. I am simply the person who happened upon you. Any other decent person would have done no less.’
‘And yet I believe you are not supposed to save strangers on a beach.’ He made a correct bow. The muscles in his back screamed. ‘Ask what you will and if it is in my power, I will do it. You do not need to decide right away.’
‘And if I decide after you have gone?’
He twisted his mother’s ring off his little finger. ‘Send this and I will come.’
Her fingers closed around it. ‘And how will I find you?’
‘When I go, we will speak of it.’
Her tongue absently traced the outline of her lower lip. ‘There is no need. As I said, I am merely a woman who tends her garden.’
‘You saved my life.’
They stood looking at each other until a wood pigeon called in the woods. The spell was broken.
‘I’ve made up a bed and you need to drink this,’ she said, suddenly all businesslike. She picked a wooden beaker up from the table. ‘I made it earlier when...when you were resting outside.’
He took a taste of the strangely sweet liquid. ‘And it is?’
‘Valerian mixed with mead. To make you sleep.’
‘I will rest and then depart.’ A great sneeze racked his body, making his ribs hurt anew. ‘I don’t want to put you in danger.’
‘You may go when you are fit to travel.’ She placed her hands on her hips. ‘And you will catch your death if you continue to stand there partially unclothed.’ She gestured towards the bed. ‘There is a nightshirt. Put it on. I would have your clothes to lay before the fire.’
‘Only half-drowned.’
‘When you are finished, call me.’
‘You are not going to stay to watch me disrobe completely?’
She quirked a brow upwards. ‘I doubt there will be anything interesting to see.’
She turned on her heel and went out of the room.
Valdar gave a half-smile. It felt good to bait her. Something to do which did not involve fighting for his survival or nursing the black place in his soul.
‘I will find a way to repay her before I leave,’ Valdar vowed under his breath as a wave of tiredness hit him. He breathed in the dusty pleasant smell. For the first time in a long while, despite being on enemy territory, he knew he was safe.
* * *
The faint embers of the fire flickered, throwing strange lights on the plaster walls. Alwynn sat in Gode’s only chair and listened to the sound of Valdar’s uneven breathing.
The warrior hadn’t woken since he fell into the valerian-induced sleep, but he had had nightmares. Merri had returned after exercising Purebright. She was uncharacteristically quiet, but Alwynn put it down to the morning’s excitement. She also readily agreed to help keep Valdar’s presence a secret before she left.
Alwynn had occupied herself by washing the salt out of his clothes and generally tidying the cottage. When her old nurse returned, she would have to have the talk about Gode living alone that she’d been postponing for a few months. Perhaps now that Theodbald was dead and they lived in a different hall, Gode would be more willing. Alwynn made a face. Gode was a law unto herself.
Valdar began thrashing about on the makeshift pallet, moaning in his sleep, calling on all manner of people for assistance.
Alwynn went over and laid a hand on his shoulder. ‘Hush, you are safe. But continue to yell this loudly and they will hear you in the next kingdom.’
His eyes flew open and he raised his fist. The embers from the fire were reflected in the depths of his eyes. She couldn’t say if he saw her or someone else, but his hand slowly lowered.
He mumbled something indistinct and his fingers picked at the bed covering.
‘Pardon?’
‘Kiss me. Kiss me like you mean it.’ His face became tortured. ‘Please.’
She stared at him. Did he mean her? Or some other woman?
‘You must lie still. Rest.’ She paused. ‘Later, I will kiss you.’
‘Please! Now! Once before I die.’
The ragged plea tore at her heart. One kiss would not change anything. But it might mean something to him. What if he didn’t last the night? What if she never knew what his mouth felt like against hers?
She knelt down beside him and took his face in her hands. His skin was hot to the touch and his eyes fever-bright.
What harm could it do? He’d never remember it.
She lowered her mouth and tasted. His lips parted and she was drawn into a kiss which was unlike any she had experienced before—gently persuading, but intense at the same time. His hand came around her head and held her in place while he coaxed and nibbled. Her entire being became flame and she wanted it to continue.
Then suddenly it was over. His hand, which had held her head in place, fell back. His eyes fluttered shut.
‘Kara never kissed me like that. Ever.’
Alwynn sat back on her heels and touched her aching lips. What had she done? Who was Kara? His wife? His mistress? The woman he loved? It shouldn’t matter, but it did. She hugged her arms about her waist, trying to prevent a great hollow from opening and swallowing her up. He wouldn’t remember it in the morning, but she knew she’d remember it for the rest of her life.
It had been the moment when she’d proved that she was made of more than ice, that it had been her husband at fault. Another ghost laid to rest. She sighed. But there were plenty more ghosts where that one came from. She might not be made of ice, but she had never borne a live child. Ever.
