Always The Hero

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“Our good diner owner isn’t a fan of our new town council member?” Matt asked of his boss’s wife. As he was clearly not as up on town gossip as he should be, a trip to the hardware store this week might be in order.

“I don’t know the particulars other than BethAnn burned a lot of bridges on her way out of town. Something to do with Holly’s mother?” Paige shook her head. “I might be able to pry it out of her on our next girls’ night.”

Fletcher looked down as his stepdaughter, Charlie, ran over to grab his hand, her red pigtails sticking out crookedly on either side of her head. “What’s going on, kiddo?”

“I want to help plant the new flowers with Aunt Lori.” She swung her arm high and back as she bounced on her heels.

“You mean you’re going to abandon me along with your mother?” Fletcher teased.

“You can help, too,” Charlie said with an exaggerated eye roll that was all her mother. “Besides, Mom said I could start my own garden if I learned what to do. Do you think Aunt Lori will mind teaching me?”

“I can speak for Aunt Lori.” Finally free of her crowd, Lori bent down to retrieve her belongings and stayed low to meet her recently acquired niece eye to eye. “I would love to have you as a student and a volunteer. After your homework gets done, though. And after all your chores are finished. And you’ve checked with Mrs. Hastings to make sure you’re caught up with her.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know.” Charlie leaned so far over to the side she nearly tipped over. “Mom, I’m going to need a calendar like yours.”

“No one has a calendar like your mom’s.” Fletcher pulled Paige close and pressed his lips to her forehead. “Always the busy bee. Must run in the family.”

“I’m going to head back to the inn, talk to Abby. Fill her in on...things.” Lori seemed to be looking at anyone—and anything—other than Matt. “Paige, I’ll give you an update on the inn’s plans as soon as I do some rearranging with my schedule.”

“How about I walk you back?” Matt offered.

“Not necessary, thanks.” Lori looked across the empty room to where BethAnn was having a pouting session with a less than sympathetic Gil. “She’s actually taking this pretty well all things considered.”

“She just assumed you’d do her bidding on helping to organize the welcome dinner, didn’t she?” Fletcher said.

Lori shrugged. “I am helping on a few things.”

“Oh, Lori, you aren’t.” Paige sighed. “Why didn’t you say no?”

“Because she doesn’t like disappointing anyone,” Matt said before Lori could respond. She glared at him, but didn’t argue.

“What did she rope you into?” Fletcher asked.

“Nothing much. Just mailing out her special invitations. I can do it one night after work. Or two. It’ll be fine.” Judging by her tone, however, Matt could hear an unfamiliar trace of resentment in her voice. “It’s the last thing I’ll do for BethAnn. Promise.” She held up her fingers like a Girl Scout swearing an oath.

“Uh-huh.” Paige rolled her eyes. “As one people pleaser to another, I’m going to hold you to that.”

Lori smiled. “Deal.”

“I don’t like her. She’s rude,” Charlie declared. “Mrs. Hastings called her a snob.” Charlie’s eyes were big as saucers as she slapped a hand over her mouth. “Oops. I wasn’t supposed to repeat that.”

“Mrs. Hastings would probably know the details about BethAnn,” Fletcher agreed. The former high school principal had become a surrogate grandmother to Charlie. “She definitely made a name for herself around here before she married into politics. Perfect bedfellows, our grandfather said. But now you don’t have to worry about her, Lori. You’ll be working with Matt here, instead.”

“Hmmmm.” Lori’s lips thinned as she said her goodbyes and headed to the door. “Lucky me.”

“Seriously, man, I wish you luck.” Fletcher pushed Matt behind her. “Just don’t forget, she’s my sister.”

“Ease up, Fletch,” Paige ordered. “Charlie, let’s say you and I check in with Calliope about our fresh produce deliveries for tomorrow?” She held out her hand, and mother and daughter scampered off, leaving Matt and Fletch alone.

“What’s going on with you and Lori?” Fletcher asked Matt before he could get away. “A bit of on-again, off-again?”

“Yeah.” Matt fought the urge to wince. He didn’t need to be reminded how badly he’d handled things with Lori. It had definitely bitten him in the backside in more ways than one. “That’s on me and it was a mistake.” He reached for his baseball cap and tugged it on. “One I plan on fixing, believe me. But since you brought it up. You good with this? With me and her?”

“Are you asking my permission to date my sister?” Always one to make a joke, Fletcher’s usual levity didn’t quite break through. Matt’s fellow deputy was known for his easygoing nature to the point of being a pushover at times, a family trait, obviously. Fletch definitely wasn’t the disciplinarian in the recently formed Bradley household, which was why Matt took the stern glare in Fletch’s eyes to heart.

“Lori hears you ask that, I won’t be the only one in need of protection,” Matt said. “I like her, Fletch. I like her a lot and I’m being straight with you when I say I know I screwed up.” Not that he was about to admit how he’d screwed up. On the one hand, he probably shouldn’t have kept his marital status a secret. On the other hand, Matt hadn’t cared enough to talk about it. Not that anyone had asked. They’d just assumed. That said, it probably wasn’t the best idea for Fletcher to know that, technically, he was a married man. Or that he needed to get things back on track on the off chance she was called to testify at Kyle’s placement hearing.

“And if I say no, that I want you to stay away from her?” Fletcher asked.

Matt could only imagine how protective he would be if he had a younger sister, so he cut his friend some slack. “I’d say I’m sorry you feel that way, and tough. I want... I need to see where this can go.” After three years of uncertainty and self-doubt, he was finally feeling as if he was back on solid ground. And honestly? He had Lori to thank for that. Being around her had pulled him out of the quicksand of his past. Now that he was out, he didn’t have any intention of sliding back in.

Fletch turned, looking to where Lori stood just outside speaking with Willa O’Neill. “Getting past me isn’t your problem,” he said. “She’s locked a good part of herself away, Matt. There are walls I’ve never been able to scale and I lived a lot of the same things she has. What went down with our parents, for instance. We only turned out the way we did because our grandfather stepped up and took us in. She puts on a good show, but she doesn’t trust easily. Nor should she with the wounds she has. Just be prepared. And be careful. As much as I want her to be happy, I don’t want her hurt.”

“On that we agree.” Another hurdle passed, Matt bade his goodbyes and pushed through the door to outside. The laughter in Lori’s eyes faded when she saw him. “Ready when you are. Hey, Willa. How’s Nina doing?”

“Mom’s better, thanks.” Willa pushed her hands deep into her sweater pockets and rocked back on a pair of thick-soled practical shoes. “The experimental treatment she got into in San Francisco seems to be working and I was able to bring her home sooner than expected. Did you hear Paige is going to start doing home care here in town? Once she gets her nursing license anyway. We’re on the top of her patient list.”

“I knew she’d been studying for a big test,” Matt said. “You know your house is on the list for the beautification project, right?”

Willa’s silver-gray eyes showed genuine surprise. “It is?”

“If it’s okay with you,” Matt added, realizing how presumptuous he sounded.

“I’ve been so preoccupied with Mom and Marley I haven’t really thought about it. Other than installing the wheelchair ramp, we haven’t had the money—”

“This wasn’t Matt criticizing,” Lori broke in, and it was then Matt realized his error. “If Fletch hadn’t put your house on the list I certainly would have considered it. It’s about time we started taking care of our own around here.”

Matt caught the well of tears in Willa’s eyes. “It would make Mom so happy. She used to love gardening before...well, before everything happened.”

“How about we get in touch when we finalize our plans and schedule?” Lori wrapped an arm around Willa’s narrow shoulders and squeezed. “Maybe we can even keep it a surprise in some way for her?”

Willa nodded. “That sounds wonderful. Thank you so much. I can’t wait to tell Marley and Jasper.”

“Your brother already knows,” Matt said. “Who do you think put your name on the list?”

“Of course he did.” Willa swiped at the single tear that plopped onto her cheek. “You all have been so good to him, this seems almost like it’s too much. He’s started looking into colleges thanks to you.”

“Yeah, well, he’s earning his keep at the station,” Matt assured her. It was extra handy having someone with the talent for basic forensic tests in-house, which ended up saving enough money on the budget to afford to pay him.

Selfishly, Matt hoped once Kyle was released from detention, Jasper would renew their wayward friendship—and provide another example of how someone dealt a bad hand in life could turn things around.

“I didn’t handle that particularly well, did I?” Matt asked Lori as Willa headed off on her walk home.

“You’ve done worse,” Lori said with enough spark in her voice to reignite Matt’s guilt over how he’d shut her out. “I can’t believe I did that.”

“What? Volunteered? I can.”

“Well, in private, sure, but in front of the town?” She fanned her face. “I haven’t been that terrified since I had to give a speech senior year in high school. Had nightmares about it for a month beforehand.”

“You did great,” Matt assured her as he followed her down the stairs. “And I bet we’ll work well together.”

“We’ll see about that.” Her flat shoes slapped against the plank boards. “Do you need me to talk to Luke or are you going to?”

“I’ll do it.” If Fletch’s reaction had been any indication, their boss wasn’t going to have any issues about Lori working with them. The evening breeze kicked up with its normal ocean chill. “I’m just glad we’re finally alone so we can talk.” He followed Willa’s lead and pushed his hands into his pockets as he caught up to Lori. “I want to explain about why I didn’t return your calls. Why I disappeared—”

“Contrary to popular belief, I don’t need coddling, Matt. You apologized. I accepted. We don’t have to discuss it anymore.”

Matt reached out, caught her arm and pulled her to a stop. “Would you please slow down? I don’t move as quickly as I used to.”

“Oh, I’m so sor—” The instant sympathy on her face faded when she lifted her gaze from his leg to his face. “Really? You played that card?”

“Desperate times.” Matt let go, not liking the tension in her arm. When he saw her shiver and pull her sweater across her chest, he shrugged out of his jacket, hesitating briefly at the guarded look in her eyes. “You aren’t going to slug me for this, are you?” Before she could respond, he draped the coat around her, grateful for the excuse to step closer. He loved how her hair smelled, like flowers and vanilla. “Just give me a few minutes, please. That’s all I’m asking. Believe me it won’t take much longer than that to admit what a complete idiot I’ve been.”

Lori’s eyebrow arched. “So the universe is wrong? Men are fine admitting when they’re wrong?”

“Some of us are.” It wasn’t his favorite pastime, but he knew when he was due for a mea culpa. “I meant it earlier when I said I had some things to work out. Some things I’ve been carrying around since before I got out of the service. Then you and I started getting close and I realized I was out of time.”

“What on earth are you talking about?” Lori’s eyes went blank.

Matt sighed. Maybe this wasn’t the right time and place after all. The sun was nearly gone for the night. The lighted streetlamps caught the red highlights in her hair, the silver flecks in her eyes. Or maybe he was stalling because telling the truth would make him look like a bigger idiot than she probably already thought him to be. How he wished she could read his mind so he didn’t have to explain. But that wouldn’t erase the skepticism and the hurt that had been haunting him all evening.

“Matt.” She reached out, almost took hold of his arm, then seemed to think better of it and snatched her hand back to clutch at his jacket. “Matt, if we’re nothing else, we are friends, remember? Whatever it is you have to tell me, whatever it is you think you need to—”

“I’m married.”

* * *

“MARRIED.” SHE BLINKED so quickly and so fast her vision blurred. “You’re...married.” Her pulse couldn’t decide whether to race or stop altogether.

“Was married. Until today,” he said as she took a step back. “I signed the divorce papers. Today. This morning. It’s been years since I’ve seen her, spoken to her, and then after you and I started getting closer, I realized I needed to figure out—”

“Wait a minute. Stop.” The odd ringing in her ears made her blood pound. She barely recognized her own voice, and when she held up a hand, her fingers trembled. “You’re married? As in.” Her gaze dropped to his hand as an invisible curtain dropped between them. “You have a wife?”

He scrubbed his hand across his bare chin. “Look, I know how this sounds, how it looks—”

“I’m not sure how it could sound or look any other way.” How was this possible? How had she not known? How could he not have told her?

“I should have told you from the beginning. The truth is—”

“The truth?” She didn’t know what else to do. She laughed as she shoved his hands away.

“Okay, yeah, I deserve that. The truth is my marriage to Gina was over before I got back home from Iraq.”

“You’ve been home for three years, Matt. That doesn’t sound over to me.”

“I don’t know if I can explain... I can’t quite explain it to myself,” he said, and for a moment, the desperation in his eyes struck her like an arrow to the heart. “Admitting I failed at something, it’s just not easy. But, it was time. I did sign the papers.”

“Today.” After weeks of talking to her, spending time with her, letting her believe there was more than just friendship going on?

“Yes, today, because I can’t move forward as long as I’m stuck in the past. I loved Gina. She was the first girl I ever loved, the first girl I ever...well, she was the first for a lot of things...”

“Please, spare me the details.” She slipped one shoulder free of his jacket and welcomed the chill. “I don’t need to know all this, Matt.” She didn’t want to know. He’d lied to her. From the first day they’d met. He’d deceived her.

The past hit her like a wave crashing against the back of her knees, threatening to drag her under, back to when she couldn’t breathe.

“But you do need to know,” Matt said. “Don’t you see, I signed them because of you. I want to see where things can go. With us.”

“You should have saved yourself the ink.” She looked down at her hands. How many nights had she spent wishing she could go back and stand up for herself, say what she felt, defend herself against those who had hurt her down to her very soul.

Never did she think she’d get another chance. Tears pricked the backs of her eyes. Never did she think she’d have to do so with Matt. “You know how hard it was for me to even let myself think about dating someone. How scared I was, but you promised we were worth the risk. I could have accepted you changing your mind about me. I expected it, honestly, but hearing now that you’ve been lying to me from the start? You’re married, Matt. Married.” For the first time in months, years, maybe her entire life, her thoughts and feelings were clear. And her heart hurt more than it ever had before. “I appreciate the faith you’ve put in me with this project—”

“You’re still going to help, aren’t you?” The hope that had disappeared from his face flared to life.

“Given I just gave my word in front of the entire town, I don’t exactly have a choice, do I?” Would that she could relive the last couple of hours. Working for BethAnn was preferable to working with a liar. “Of course I’ll do the work. But as far as moving forward with us?” She unwound his jacket and pushed it into his hands as she gave up more than she ever thought she’d have to. “I might not be the most confident of women—I may even be a coward, but I deserve respect, Matt. And I deserve to be with someone I can trust. I’m sorry, but hearing this, knowing you lied to me from the start? That person definitely isn’t you.”

CHAPTER FIVE (#ulink_661eb904-b4c9-5dbc-9cb4-d276769a9db7)

WITH A FINAL sip of coffee and silent thanks for a rare weekend off, Lori ended her mile-long trek to Duskywing Farm Saturday morning on a sigh of relief. After a sleepless night, the fresh air and quiet of a Butterfly Harbor morning arrived with squawking seagulls and playful stereophonic ocean waves. It was the reset she needed, a reminder that wallowing wouldn’t do anyone—herself especially—any good.

Besides, nothing worked off a good mad better than a long walk.

She’d staged her own rebellion last night after getting home and hadn’t touched the boxes of invitations—something she’d probably regret at some point. She was used to manipulative people, used to the snark and passive-aggressive machinations, but this time had been one time too many. One BethAnn smirk too many. Lori had taken a stand and, for once, done something unexpected.

And it felt great.

Her time, her abilities weren’t any less valuable than anyone else’s. Why did she continue to spend her life worrying about what other people thought about her? Abby was right. There was more to her than numbers on a scale. There always had been. Time to start acting like it.

That she’d started by ending any potential romantic involvement with Matt Knight before it had ever really gotten started seemed a tad overkill.

She should have known allowing herself to dwell on all those romantic ideas she’d never let herself entertain would come back and bite her. Besides, if things had gotten serious with Matt, she had her own confessions she’d have had to make about what the future did—or in her case didn’t—hold in store. So maybe this entire situation was a blessing in disguise.

Maybe she just needed the reminder that she would be okay on her own.

She had her friends, her family, a new niece and, knowing Fletcher’s desire for a big family, there would be more kids for him and Paige in the future.

She should feel relieved that Matt was officially out of her life—and she would be if she didn’t have to deal with the whole beautification project. Story of her life. She’d finally taken a chance on something, grabbed hold of what she really wanted and in so doing exploded another part of her life.

She’d needed a reality check. She’d needed to get her head out of the clouds. She needed to remember that reality had crashed over her the summer she’d turned ten. Had continued to crash for years after.

With parents who had blamed rather than comforted, criticized instead of encouraged, the child Lori had been disappeared the day her little brother had died; whoever she’d been meant to be had been washed out to sea along with Colin, leaving a shell of a little girl desperate for someone to cling to; to grieve with. And when Fletcher and her grandfather hadn’t been enough, or when she couldn’t bear to cry one more tear, she’d turned to the one comfort that would never let her down.