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He was still staring at the woman when the bottom fell out of his world. A beautiful dark-haired child of about four years old threw herself at Kate, and as she swept her into her arms and met his gaze above the black glossy curls he knew.
Kate paled as she clutched the child closer to her chest, and it ripped out his heart to see the terror in her eyes, but that was nothing compared to the feelings inside him.
Instantly aware, instantly curious, the child lifted her head to study him. Lodging her thumb in her mouth, she nestled closer to her mother while Caddy and Meredith melted away. He was vaguely aware of the demands on him pulling him this way and that, but as Kate remained frozen in a tableau he couldn’t tear his gaze from he knew that nothing else mattered but this.
Kate planted a fervent kiss on her daughter’s black curls. His daughter! There wasn’t a shred of doubt in his mind. The child was his, every inch of her a Rossi … the high colour, the cheek-bones, the jet-black hair, the curls, the luminous brown eyes that stared straight into his soul. She was his child, his daughter, his baby, the first and only member of his family. He went cold to think of all the years that had been stolen from him … from both of them. And he didn’t even know her name.
‘Mummy …’ She tugged at Kate’s sleeve. ‘Who is this man? I like him.’
His heart shattered and fell in pieces at his daughter’s feet. Anger, anger such as he had never known, was rising deep inside him. He should have known that this was the reward you got for even thinking about trusting a woman.
‘Say hello to your daddy, Francesca.’
Francesca … Francesca … Francesca …
‘Hello,’ his daughter said solemnly.
Kate was desperate for him to look at her, for him to offer her some reassurance, but he only had eyes for the child … the child reaching out to him.
To him.
CHAPTER NINE
KATE’S heart was pounding so hard she could barely breathe, but she had to make everything seem completely normal for Francesca’s sake. ’Shall we sit down?’
This was the worst of all possible outcomes, and, however well he handled it, it had to have been a terrible shock for Santino. Without preamble, or explanation, he discovered they had a daughter together. But she could hardly blame Caddy or Meredith for doing what they believed was in her best interest.
Kate made for a free table, conscious that Francesca was leaning over her shoulder wanting Santino to carry her, but Kate wasn’t ready for that yet.
‘Is that why you came to Rome, Mummy … to find Daddy?’ Francesca asked Kate as they sat down.
‘Not exactly … ‘Kate couldn’t lie. She hadn’t lied to Francesca yet, and she had no intention of making this the start of some new regime. ‘Remember what I told you?’ Kate swung Francesca onto her knees so she could look into her eyes. ‘I came to Rome to see Aunty Caddy—’
‘So did Aunty Caddy find Daddy for me?’ Francesca turned and levelled a long, considering stare on Santino.
‘No, I found you,’ Santino said, smiling as he came to sit down beside Kate.
Kate felt a chill run through her. Santino wouldn’t meet her gaze. She was dead to him. His attention was focused on his daughter to the exclusion of everything else and Francesca was equally intent on him. For the first time in Francesca’s life Kate felt shut out, which frightened her and made her think it was a terrible foretaste of the future.
Francesca chattered on and when she paused for breath Santino suggested they call Meredith over. It was the moment Kate knew had to come, but had been dreading.
‘I’d like to speak privately with your mummy,’ he told Francesca, ‘and then afterwards you and I will have chance to get to know each other a little better.’
Francesca smilingly agreed, but Kate couldn’t lose the feeling that Santino’s words contained a threat aimed in her direction. She was loath to leave the table to go and look for Meredith, but Santino had left her with little option. The moment she stood up to leave the table Francesca climbed up on Santino’s knee.
Hovering close to the table, Kate felt numb as she watched the two of them together. Father and daughter … dark hair, dark eyes, even the same smile, it was uncanny. Everything had happened so quickly, too quickly, before she’d had chance to consider whether Santino might make a suitable father for Francesca. And now it was too late. Francesca was instantly besotted with her father, and Santino was equally enchanted by his beautiful daughter. There was no going back now. But in fairness she couldn’t fault Santino’s behaviour. Even though he had to be at breaking point no one would ever have guessed it.
‘Are you going to find Meredith?’ he prompted, and as he turned to look at her Kate jerked back to full attention.
‘Yes, of course.’ His voice had been carefully pitched not to alarm Francesca, but the expression in Santino’s eyes, which Francesca could not see, chilled Kate to the bone. ‘I’ll go and look for her now …’ But the truth was, she didn’t want to leave them alone for a moment. She felt instantly threatened by the closeness that had sprung up between them within moments of them meeting.
‘Francesca will be quite safe with me.’
Santino’s words held a threat, but Kate knew she had to remain calm. She mustn’t let Santino see how intimidated he made her feel. ‘I’ll only be a moment.’ She directed the words at Francesca. ’Stay there and Mummy will be back before you know it.’
It was the best she could do without causing an unpleasant scene, and what hurt most of all was that Francesca hardly noticed her leaving. She had already turned away to Santino and was chatting to him as if all the years that divided them had simply melted away.
Would Santino ever allow Francesca to leave his side again? Kate wondered fearfully as she rushed about the room searching for Cordelia and Meredith. Every second was a second too long for her to be parted from her precious daughter. Kate felt as if her life depended on finding her cousin and her aunt and getting back to Francesca, which it did, because Francesca was her life and always would be.
She was so adept at finding solutions to other people’s problems, but here in the middle of a crisis in her own life she was floundering, Kate realised with agonised frustration. The future was a blank canvas upon which only Santino could draw, while she couldn’t see her way past this nightmare. The only certainty was that everything would change now that Santino was part of her life again. The enmity springing off him had been both a warning and a foretaste of the future.
She found Caddy chattering away in the centre of an admiring crowd, blissfully unaware of the crisis she had created. Kate didn’t want to disturb her when she could see Caddy was talking to an older woman Kate realised must be the director Diane Fox. But thankfully Meredith, having spotted her, quickly extricated herself from the group.
‘Kate?’
‘Meredith, I’m so sorry … I haven’t even said hello to you.’ She’d hardly acknowledged her at all, Kate realised, giving her favourite aunt a distracted hug. ‘Do you think you could look after Francesca for me for a few minutes while I talk to Santino?’
‘I’d be pleased to …’ Meredith took a closer look at Kate. ‘Kate, what’s wrong?’
‘Nothing,’ Kate lied shakily. ’Santino wants to speak to me in private.’
‘That’s good news, isn’t it?’ Meredith put a comforting hand on Kate’s arm.
Meredith was so naïve; she always thought the best of everyone and Kate couldn’t ever be angry or impatient with her. ‘Yes, I’m sure it’s an excellent sign,’ she said with a smile to reassure her aunt.
When Kate and Meredith arrived back at the table they found Francesca asleep in Santino’s arms. The sight stunned Kate. She wondered if she had ever felt quite so cold, or so heartsick and threatened.
‘The travelling must have exhausted her,’ Meredith exclaimed fondly, holding out her arms to take Francesca.
‘We have a lot of catching up to do, piccola,‘ Santino murmured as he handed a sleeping Francesca over with the greatest care to Meredith.
Catching up to do … Santino’s words echoed eerily in Kate’s head, and made her fear for the future. He was right—Santino did have a lot of catching up to do and so did Francesca. And how could she deny them time together? She couldn’t forget the influence Santino wielded, or the fact that she had no contacts in Rome or in London. She had no one she could call on in a tug of love situation. She would have to pick a lawyer out of a book like pinning the tail on a donkey … taking her chances that she picked a good one like the rest of humanity.
Kate couldn’t fail to be moved by the depth of emotion on Santino’s face as he watched Meredith carry Francesca away, but it was that same reflection of possession and entitlement that filled her with dread. She wasn’t frightened of Santino in a physical sense, but as he rose to his feet and towered over her she felt herself shrink inwardly.
He stood looking down at her in silence, and when he spoke his voice was low and full of menace. ‘How could this happen, Kate?’
‘Please, Santino, not here …’ She found it hard to vocalize, her throat had seized up so badly with fright. She wasn’t even certain that Santino heard her as she started for the door.
‘Kate …’
Sensing Santino behind her, Kate was suddenly consumed by a primeval fear. She started running, her feet drumming on the wooden floor, adding to the noise in the room, and that noise reverberated in her head, driving her feet, stealing her breath until she was almost blind with panic by the time she reached the exit. She had to fight her way through the crowd to get out, but people coming into the restaurant hardly noticed and were still smiling as she jostled them. They had a party to go to, friends to meet, food to eat, wine to drink, while Kate was lost in a nightmare without end.
As she burst through the door she was sobbing and had to pause for breath before she could set off again and run down the path. Clutching her throat, she gulped in the warm clean air, but Santino caught up with her too quickly before she could compose herself.
‘Please, Santino, please …’ His grip on her arm was remorseless.
‘Let’s get one thing straight before we go any further.’ He thrust her in front of him and his eyes were molten with rage as he stared down at her. ‘Francesca is my daughter.’
It was a statement, not a question, Kate realised, and one prompted entirely by male pride. But she had pride too and she was incensed on Francesca’s behalf that her parentage should be drawn into question. ‘Yes, of course she is!’ She answered him back furiously. ‘Any fool can see that.’
Santino stiffened, causing Kate to jerk back, but there was only disgust on his face.
‘No need to ask who’s been the fool,’ he said icily.
‘All I’m trying to say is there’s no mistaking the fact that Francesca is your child. You must know she is.’
‘As you have known for four long years. And must have known you were pregnant five years ago—’ Santino broke off with a sound of contempt and walked away as if he couldn’t bring himself to look at her a moment longer. He didn’t stop walking until he reached a place that was shaded by the overhanging branches of an ancient tree. And then he turned and Kate was shaken by the force of his venomous stare.
‘Non posso crederio, Kate! I can’t believe it!’ Santino’s voice was harsh, his gaze impenetrable. ‘I can’t believe you would do this to me!’
Kate had never heard a voice made so ugly by emotion, or seen a face so deeply wounded she had no option but to look away. This was Santino in the raw, with all semblance of civilisation stripped away from him. The charm and civility he was renowned for were nowhere to be seen. The consideration for her sex had utterly deserted him. Santino had never seemed more dominant to her than he did at this moment, or more intimidating. She could see now that he posed a terrible threat to the simple life she enjoyed with Francesca, and would remain a threat unless she could find some way to placate him.
He levelled a steely gaze on her face. ‘I asked you a question, which as yet you have not seen fit to answer. I can guess your reply … you’ll find some excuse.’
‘If you’d only let me explain …’ She reached out to him. ‘Please, Santino, why won’t you listen to me?’
‘So you can tell me more lies? I’m done with listening to you, Kate. It’s your turn to listen to me. And I’m telling you …’ his voice dropped to a menacing whisper … ‘you … owe … me … the truth.’
‘I realise I should have told you before, but—’
‘But?’ Santino bit out. ‘I asked you how could this happen and you prepare to feed me some excuse?’ His voice was like a shard of glass, cruel and sharp. ‘How long have you been in Rome, Kate? How many times have we sat together? How many opportunities have there been when you could have told me about Francesca? How many chances have you ignored? You could have told me today. You could have told me five years ago. You could have found me then if you had really wanted to.’
‘I was eighteen.’
He gave a contemptuous laugh. ‘Don’t plead your age as an excuse. You were old enough to go to bed with me—and as I remember you didn’t take much persuading.’ Turning his face to the sky, he exhaled raggedly as if he had hoped to find the answer there.
There were no words to touch Santino’s grief and nothing Kate could do to stop the memories flooding into her mind, memories that only reminded her in the cruellest way possible that Francesca was all she had left now. Meredith and Caddy were wonderful, but the bond between a mother and child was like no other. It could fill you with the most tremendous joy, or break you with unimaginable sorrow. But she couldn’t think about that now. She had to find a way to reach Santino or risk losing Francesca.
Even as Santino brutalised her with words there was so much she wanted to say to him, so much she wanted to share, so much he should be told. So much that tragically, now, would always be left unsaid. What was the point in heaping more pain and grief on top of the rest? What was the point in confiding in a man who didn’t want to hear what she had to say? She had known too much loss to risk more. She had to think about Francesca now and remember how lucky she was, and not stare backwards into the past longing for what was lost.
Kate’s anxiety levels rose as Santino started walking away. ‘Where are you going?’ But she could see where he was going. He was heading back towards the restaurant where Francesca was waiting. Who knew what he might do? Anything was possible. She ran after him and grabbed his arm.
He shook her off angrily. ‘Don’t try to stop me going to my daughter. Just get away from me.’
She was no longer required, here, or in his organisation, or in his life. But retreat wasn’t an option and so she ran after him again. ’Santino … Please, I know how hurt you must be—’
‘You have no idea,’ he assured her without breaking stride.
‘Please, Santino, for Francesca’s sake, we must—’
‘We?’ He stopped dead. ‘There is no we. Surely you don’t imagine I would trust you with the smallest decision where my daughter is concerned?’
Kate had started to shake uncontrollably. ‘You have to listen to me, Santino. You have no choice.’
‘No choice?’ He smiled at her in a way that made her quake. ‘Is that a fact?’
‘I am Francesca’s mother—’
‘Yes, her mother?’ Santino declared with scorn. ‘And like all mothers you think only of yourself.’
His comment filled Kate’s mind with unanswered questions. As he started to walk away she ran and stood in front of him again.
He made an angry gesture as if to brush her aside. ‘Like all women, you think you can lie and cheat and get away with it, don’t you, Kate?’
He gave her no chance to respond. But as each cruel accusation rained down on her Kate found that, instead of being frightened, she was filled with the unnatural calm of a person who had nothing left to lose. ‘Is this what you’ll tell our daughter when Francesca grows to be a woman?’ Kate’s voice was laced with sadness and for the first time she noticed Santino’s gaze shift uncomfortably. ‘You asked me how this could happen.’ Kate took a deep breath. The last thing she wanted was Santino’s pity, but for Francesca’s sake she had to do this. ‘When my parents discovered I was pregnant they threw me out of the house. Aunt Meredith took me in—’
‘And still you didn’t think to try and find me?’ Santino swiftly returned to the attack. ‘Even when you were safe with your aunt you didn’t think to tell me I had a daughter? No, why should you? You had assumed that I was the worst type of man. You had decided I would turn my back on you. You didn’t give me a chance. Why should you tell me anything when your life with Meredith was so comfortable?’
‘Don’t bring Meredith into this,’ Kate warned. Fire flooded back into her veins as she leapt to her aunt’s defence. ‘Meredith has never done you any harm and she is a most wonderful grandmother for Francesca. I won’t have you run her down—’
‘You’re in no position to make demands on me, but I apologise to Meredith.’ Santino’s tone left Kate in no doubt that she was excluded from his magnanimous gesture.
How could she have done things any differently? Should she have told Santino about Francesca five years ago when the gossipmongers had still been chewing over the latest woman to accuse him of fathering her child? Should she have exposed Francesca to the repercussions of that in later life when she might be taunted by old newspaper accounts? Should she have thrown herself on the mercy of a man she didn’t know? Should she have run the risk that Santino would claim Francesca and turn his back on her, as her own parents had done?
Kate still believed she had done the right thing, because whatever she had done wrong or imperfectly she had maintained stability in Francesca’s life and she wouldn’t apologise for that. ‘I didn’t think you’d want to know, and so I made the only decision I could under the circumstances.’
‘You made decisions that weren’t yours to make. You set yourself up in judgement over me. What gave you that right? Who are you to decide if I should or shouldn’t be told that I have a child? I had a right to know about Francesca, and she had a right to know I am her father. You should have tried to find me immediately. You should have appointed a legal representative to raise the matter at a court of law in Rome—’
‘A court of law in Rome?’ Kate cut across Santino, shuddering inwardly as she imagined the outcome if she had tried to do so. She only had to look into his cold, dark eyes to know she wouldn’t have stood a chance. ‘Are you suggesting a single mother without money or influence should have tried to take on the Roman establishment? Can’t you understand that all I was interested in was keeping my baby safe?’
‘And I would have harmed her?’ Santino’s expression grew blacker than ever. ‘You’re full of excuses, but all I can see is that you cheated me of my daughter and you cheated Francesca out of her father—’
‘That’s not true!’ Kate was stung to the quick by Santino’s accusation that she would do anything to hurt Francesca. ‘It wasn’t like that! I didn’t know you, Santino. I didn’t know what type of man you were—’
‘You weren’t so scrupulous five years ago in my bed!’
They both stiffened and turned reluctantly as Caddy came outside to look for them.
‘Diane Fox,’ Santino remembered, cursing softly under his breath. ‘We have to go back inside. We have to make everything seem normal. We have to be civil to my new director and make our introductions as if nothing had occurred.’
‘No, Santino, I can’t.’
‘You must,’ he insisted harshly.
In this he was right, Kate accepted. The last thing Francesca needed was the whole world knowing that Santino Rossi and Kate Mulhoon shared a colourful past. Kate knew it was imperative she put all this to one side and act as if there were nothing between them other than a working relationship. And so when Caddy waved and called out to them she smiled, and when they walked inside together she and Santino greeted everyone with practised charm and total professionalism.
Kate was on automatic pilot for the next few hours, maintaining the smile on her face and pretending interest in everything and everyone. But she couldn’t forget Santino’s bitter words or the threat behind them, and they continued to override everything else in her mind. She had to remind herself time after time that she had a job to do. Caddy needed someone to take care of the minutiae of her life so she could shine more brightly and Kate had always been happy to do that. Nothing had changed, she told herself firmly. Santino couldn’t take Francesca away from her. There wasn’t a court in the world that would allow him to do that.
Kate was relieved to find her first impression of the new director was positive. Diane Fox had a firm handshake and a warm smile, but when she turned to reassure herself that Francesca and Meredith were still where she had left them Kate saw Santino standing with them … and Francesca had woken up … and now Santino was leading them to a secluded corner where he could hold a conversation with his daughter in private. The two of them were animated and obviously enjoying each other’s company … Meredith was trailing behind … smiling, unaware of the threat. Excusing herself from the group that had gathered around Diane Fox, Kate hurried over to them.
‘And then I fell off …’ Seeing Kate, Francesca held out her arms automatically, waiting to be lifted into her mother’s arms. ‘The naughty pony bucked me off, Mummy,’ she explained, bringing her face close to Kate’s ear.
It was a simple admission and probably a tall story, for surely Meredith would have said something, but it was enough to make Santino look at her as if Francesca’s innocent explanation was further proof that Kate was unfit to be a mother. Bringing Francesca into her arms, Kate was overcome by fear that if a custody battle reached court it might not have the outcome she hoped for. Burying her face in Francesca’s fragrant, silky hair, she held her daughter close as if she would never let her go.
CHAPTER TEN
SANTINO glanced at his watch. ‘We should be going home, Francesca.’
