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“I think that for you I’d be willing to give it a try again,” Leah said, allowing Olivia to tow her into the house.
“We can go down like a train,” Olivia said. “Then you won’t be scared.”
Without warning, they turned a corner and Leah came face-to-face with Ben. He was standing in the kitchen beside the sink, obviously cleaning up from supper. Even dressed in work clothes, with his dark hair brushing the collar of his denim shirt, he looked like he’d just stepped out of a magazine cologne ad.
“Daddy, Miss Paxson said she’d go down the slide with me!”
Leah was glad that Olivia’s presence deflected the attention away from her, because she wasn’t sure she was good at pretending.
“Are you feeling all right, Miss Paxson?” He frowned at her.
Obviously she wasn’t as good at pretending as she’d hoped!
“I’m fine.” She forced her eyes to meet his.
He didn’t look convinced.
Fortunately, Olivia was anxious to show her to her room and Leah was able to escape Ben’s intense, brown-eyed gaze.
“Your room is next to mine,” Olivia told her as they reached the top of the stairs and walked down the narrow hallway. “There’s a door between them, but Nanny B didn’t want me to use it unless it was an emergency.”
“I see.” Leah hid a smile.
“Do you think thunderstorms are emergencies?” Olivia slid an anxious look at her.
“Definitely.”
“What about bad dreams?”
“Those, too.”
Olivia’s eyes reflected her relief. “Really?”
“And I think that cold toes and spelling tests and needing to talk are all emergencies, too.”
“You do?” Olivia squeaked.
Leah resisted the urge to sweep the little girl into her arms. Memories that she’d tucked away for seven years began to surface. The last time she’d held this child in her arms was hours after she’d given birth to her, when a sympathetic young nurse had brought her into Leah’s room to say goodbye. Her baby’s face was etched in her memory, the velvety skin of her cheek and the tuft of golden-brown hair on her head.
Olivia was patting her arm. “Do you like it?”
Leah snapped back to the present and realized Olivia was asking her about the room.
“It’s perfect,” Leah said, studying the small bedroom. There was a single bed positioned against one wall, made up with a pale green comforter and matching shams. At the foot of the bed was a beautiful trunk fitted with brass hinges. She wondered if Ben had made it. The floral curtains on the window were faded, but Leah thought they only added to the room’s overall charm.
“This was Uncle Eli’s room,” Olivia said. “Daddy said the walls used to be brown.” She made a face.
“Is Uncle Eli your father’s brother?” Leah was anxious to piece together a picture of the Cavanaugh family.
“He’s a doctor.” Olivia bounced onto the bed, toppling a pyramid of stuffed animals that had been resting on the pillow. “He married Aunt Rachel. Aunt Rachel has pretty hair. She likes to braid mine.” Olivia gave a long-suffering sigh. “I let her.”
Leah chuckled. “I hope I get a chance to meet them.”
“Aunt Rachel invited us over for Thanksgiving dinner,” Olivia informed her. “Uncle Eli told me I’d have to help make the pies because Aunt Rachel only knows how to order them from the cate…” Olivia stumbled over the unfamiliar word.
“Caterer?” Leah guessed.
“Yup. And Grammy and Papa are coming from Florida to eat turkey with us. Papa always brings me a new shell for my collection.”
Leah tamped down the butterflies that had taken flight in her stomach once again. In the past, the families she worked for had always given her holidays off. She’d never been included in the actual celebrations, and even though she and Ben hadn’t worked out the specifics of her contract yet, she was sure that the Cavanaughs wouldn’t be any different.
Olivia skipped across the room and opened a narrow door centered in the wall. “Do you want to see my room?”
“I’d love to.”
Leah followed her into a little girl’s wonderland. From the ruffled valances that framed the windows to the fluffy comforter on the bed, everything was iced in pink.
Over the past five years, Leah had learned to tell a lot about the children in her life by their bedrooms. With a quick glance around the room, she could see that Olivia loved books, stuffed animals and music.
She could also see that Olivia was well-loved but not overly indulged. There was no computer, expensive stereo or television in her room like there had been in some of the bedrooms of the children she’d cared for. Instead, there was an artist’s easel, a bin overflowing with ink pads and rubber stamps and a microphone attached to a tiny boom box. On a nightstand next to bed, one lone goldfish with a filmy tail resided in a very clean bowl.
Her respect for Ben Cavanaugh rose even more. He was a good father.
Thank You, Lord. The simple words took wing from deep inside her. Ben Cavanaugh was exactly the kind of father she had prayed for for Olivia. The kind of father she hadn’t had. And even though he seemed a bit rigid and controlled, she wondered if that hadn’t come from losing his wife at such a young age.
For I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
The verse swept into her thoughts and Leah clung to it, just like she had the first time she’d heard it, shortly after she’d given her baby up for adoption. Her future had looked bleak. She was exhausted from carrying the guilt that weighted down her heart. But then she’d discovered that God loved her and had a plan for her. Those were the words that had brought healing to her life.
As sure as Leah was that God had brought peace into her life, she knew that He’d also brought her to the Cavanaughs.
Chapter Three
Ben paused in the doorway, realizing that Olivia was so caught up in giving Leah an item-by-item description of her favorite things that she hadn’t noticed him yet.
It gave him a few seconds to study the new nanny.
As he watched, Leah put out her hand as if she was going to ruffle Olivia’s hair, but at the last second she withdrew it and crossed her arms instead. He wondered if she was the type of person who wasn’t comfortable with physical affection. When he was younger, he hadn’t been much of what his mother liked to call a “hugger” either, but having Olivia had changed that. The first time she’d grabbed his finger and squeezed it in her tiny fist, she’d won him over completely to the hugging side of life.
For the second time that day, he had the feeling that he’d seen Leah somewhere before. Chestnut Grove wasn’t that big…he must have caught a glimpse of her at the park or the diner at some point in time.
“This is Pearl….”
Olivia finally took a breath and Ben took advantage of the opportunity to break into their conversation.
“Is your room all right, Miss Paxson?”
Olivia let out a little shriek and Leah jumped. He was surprised her feet could leave the ground in those boots.
“Daddy, you scared us,” Olivia scolded.
“I’m sorry.” He said the words automatically, even as he noticed that Leah’s cheeks were tinted pink.
“It’s fine, Mr. Cavanaugh. Thank you.”
“Miss Paxson said that I can use the door between our rooms,” Olivia said. “But she has more emergencies than Nanny B had.”
Ben tried to decipher those cryptic words and gave up. “I know you have a spelling test tomorrow, peanut, so why don’t you study your list while Miss Paxson and I talk about some things.”
Olivia looked disappointed but she nodded. “You’ll be here tomorrow, won’t you, Miss Paxson?”
Leah glanced at him, almost as if she were wondering if he’d changed his mind. Not that he hadn’t spent most of the afternoon considering it! “I’ll be here when you get home from school.”
“Nanny B always picked me up,” Olivia explained.
“Then I suppose I’ll pick you up, too.”
“Which is one of the things Miss Paxson and I need to talk about,” Ben said meaningfully to his daughter.
“It was nice to meet you, Olivia,” Leah whispered before following him downstairs.
Ben caught a whiff of something stirring the air that smelled like vanilla. He realized it was Leah. He quickened his pace a little and decided to talk to her in his office again instead of the living room.
“Olivia seems to like you.” He motioned for Leah to sit down in the chair opposite his desk.
“She’s a very sweet little girl.”
Ben didn’t like feeling off-center. And the truth was he’d been feeling off-centered since that morning, when he’d interviewed Leah for the job. “My work takes me away from home a lot, Miss Paxson, and even though Olivia is in school full-time during the day, I don’t want her to be a latchkey kid when she comes home, making her own supper and waiting for me to come home in the evening. When Mrs. Baker left, I adjusted my schedule the best I could, but I will need you to take Olivia to school and pick her up at the end of day. I work most evenings until seven, and Saturday mornings, too. You can have one evening off per week and every Sunday.”
He gave her a brief outline of the things that Mrs. Baker had taken care of and mentioned some of his own expectations about her duties. Finally he paused, waiting to see if Leah had any questions.
Nothing could have prepared him for the one she chose to ask.
“Where do you and Olivia worship on Sunday mornings?”
“Worship?”
“Do you have a church family?” She tried again.
“No.”
A church family? What kind of question was that? But he knew exactly what kind of question it was. It was the kind of question that someone who was a Christian would ask.
He saw something in her eyes that looked almost like regret. But why would Leah Paxson regret the fact that he didn’t go to church? Maybe for the same reason his parents did. The unwelcome thought pushed its way into his head. They’d always told him that when he lost Julia, he hadn’t lost God, but he knew that was only partially true. How could you lose a God you weren’t sure had been there to begin with?
Leah drew in a quick, unsteady breath. She could tell by the look on Ben’s face that he didn’t like her question. His expression wasn’t the neutral one of someone who went about their day-to-day business and didn’t think about God, either. He looked like someone who’d unexpectedly heard the name of a friend who’d betrayed him.
A red flag rose in her mind, but Leah knew she had a bad habit of turning red flags into banners. Yet she had an important question and she needed to know the answer.
“I go to Chestnut Grove Community Church,” she said. “Do I have your permission to take Olivia if she wants to go with me?”
His eyes said no. His mouth even opened and started to form the word.
“If she wants to go with you.” Those were the words she heard him say instead. And Leah could tell he was just as surprised as she was. “You’ve probably seen my brother and his wife there,” he added tersely.
“Uncle Eli,” Leah remembered, not able to place him by memory. There were two morning worship services so it wouldn’t be unusual that she didn’t know them. “And Aunt Rachel. Who uses a caterer.”
She probably shouldn’t have said that, but Ben smiled. “According to my brother, Rachel loves a challenge and she’s decided that cooking is the newest hill to conquer. She insists on making Thanksgiving dinner this year.”
“Olivia mentioned that. And your parents are visiting from Florida?”
“They’ll be here the day before Thanksgiving. Do you have family in Chestnut Grove?”
The only family she had was studying her spelling words, but she couldn’t tell him that. “No. My mom passed away three years ago.” No point in mentioning her dad. He’d abandoned them when Leah was five and she didn’t have a clue where he was.
“I’m sorry.”
The two words were simple and Leah had heard them many times before, but she could hear the sincerity in his voice. He’d lost someone he’d loved, too. For a moment, Leah felt a brief connection with him. “Thank you.”
Ben stood up. “Do you have any questions about your responsibilities or the schedule, Miss Paxson?”
The schedule. He’d gone over it at the beginning of their conversation, detail by minute detail. She didn’t have any questions about it but she already had a few changes in mind!
“Miss Paxson…” Ben hesitated and Leah braced herself. She’d known him less than twenty-four hours and had already figured out that when he said her name and then searched for the right words, he wasn’t going to be talking about an increase in her salary. “Mrs. Baker lived here for seven years. She became a member of the family. Like a grandmother.”
Uh-oh.
“You may want to go out…or have friends over. Maybe even your boyfriend.” Ben shoved his hands into his pockets. “I realize you have a life, Miss Paxson, and I know that taking care of my daughter is a job…”
The word boyfriend had temporarily frozen Leah in place, but when she realized what he was getting at, she knew she had to say something.
“Mr. Cavanaugh, this may sound silly, but taking care of children is my life. I’m committed to Olivia and it’s not just because I’m under contract—”
“Technically, you aren’t under contract yet,” Ben reminded her. “Until the trial period is over.”
Leah knew he hadn’t meant to hurt her with his matter-of-fact words, but she couldn’t imagine being with Olivia for a month and then leaving. Somehow, she knew a second goodbye would shatter her heart more than the first one. Getting to know her daughter, only to lose her again, would be even more devastating.
Ben plowed his fingers through his hair in a gesture that clearly communicated his discomfort. “While you’re living here, treat this house as your home. I want you to feel comfortable here. That’s all I meant. I wasn’t questioning your dedication.”
It was easy for Leah to see that she wasn’t what he’d expected, but because of the circumstances, he’d had to hire her. He realized that she wasn’t Nanny Baker, bless that woman’s grandmotherly heart, and he was trying to create some order out of the chaos her sudden departure had created. The trapped look in his eyes told her he was navigating unfamiliar territory and Leah had a strong hunch it was something he didn’t like to do.
She felt an overwhelming urge to see him smile again.
“Does that mean I can practice my cello?” She gave him a hopeful look.
“You don’t really play the cello, do you?” He was beginning to catch on.
“No. The saxophone.” She was rewarded by the glimmer of a smile in his eyes. Oh, well, it was a start. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Mr. Cavanaugh.”
