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– Lord, have mercy, Lord have mercy. Have mercy on- a- c…
From the church of high and long windows on the iconostasis fallen sheaves sunlight, clearly looming in the dust particles of the church. It seemed that just about one more moment, and formed the rays come Archangel Saint Michael and Gabriel and sanctify his presence the whole congregation and parishioners Easter.
But in addition to the votes of the choir, but the rustling of clothes being baptized nothing unusual had happened. But the grandmother looked at his grandson with tears of emotion, heat gently and kindly.
I felt that from her eyes so much self- confidence, their mental forces that are now no obstacles in the world that I can not overcome. No black evil forces, which I no longer beat. Sighing at the full breasts, soaking up the atmosphere of solemnity and significance of what is happening, I am confident baptized and heard a prayer and the singing of the choir…
Home from the church back fun. Devout grandmother grandson praised my grandmother. And I felt at that moment is not alone.
Chapter Four
I am five years old. One morning, my grandmother said:
– You Have not been in kindergarten. Get ready, let’s go now!
– Where Mom? – I rubbed my eyes const.
She’s in Kiev, at the meeting. So my grandmother called farmers conference, where my mother was sent. Oh, how I did not like to go to the kindergarten, only God knows. In the kindergarten children are often teased me the nickname «diputat» as the son of the mother of the former deputy of the Supreme Council of Ukraine, and now the deputy village council Shpitki village. I was upset by this and unpleasant. I’m for it, sometimes even angry at her mother for an MP. All of the mother as a mother, and I have some kind of different from all. Always she was doing. Everywhere it is necessary to have time, to go and work, and on fees and on the farm, and at the exhibition. Well, it is not a man, and the case. Of course I do not understand the mother has integrity, has long earned her respect. Her love of the farm workers, the villagers. But their children are almost hated her son. I rarely saw my mother. However, there were moments when she appeared at home and not in a hurry to listen to his son, and his cousin Nyusyu. Sister often speculated his position in the family and complained of my innocent pranks. And instead of the long- awaited kiss mom often accrue to slap. I became a shame to his mother on the pernicious sister, children, teasing me offensive word «diputat», and finally for the whole world, because it is such a beautiful and friendly, admits the existence of grievances. Once receiving a portion of hysterical attacks from the mother relish flavored with cane, under the snide giggles Nyuska I can not hold back from undeserved insults, ran into the street. At this moment I firmly decided to leave home and never return. The road ran to the center of the village, where there were shops and a pharmacy. Having twenty meters, to the center, I began to think, and that if you go to a pharmacy and ask for a medicine which may be, to not take offense so badly and not be angry. This thought insistently crashed into me and really motivated to act when I caught up with a pharmacy. Not daring to go inside, I walked past. Then He came back strongly and went into a spacious hallway with a large window. After standing for a moment firmly he pushed the door open and entered. The apothecary was behind the counter. Saw logged familiar boy asked:
– You know what, tell me all about it. Maybe some medicine you need, I will give you, and then bring the money. Good?
I nodded in agreement, he said:
– A Cure for the evil you have? – And questioningly looked at the pharmacist.
At first he did not understand what I said. Then he jumped to his feet, turning away from me, obviously hiding a smile, quickly became the counter pharmacy, pretending to be looking for a cure for evil. A little later, looked up from the glass shelf with medicines, said:
– And what is happened that cure for evil?
– What’s the entire evil mother, Nyuska. And even my grandmother can not protect me. My mother, like a madman, he always sets Nyuska against me, that bitch, that’s all. – Tears again welled up in eyes, breath has filched. Pharmacist to hide the smile quickly turned to the back of the room, said:
– Wait, I soon bring a cure for evil. – And he disappeared behind the door of the back room. After a while he came back, holding two round tablets packet.
– At this is a tablet from evil. You will be taken after meals three times a day.
I was delighted and gratefully took the medicine. In my heart I felt warm and happy, so just let me escape from the house, and have no desire to run anywhere, I jumped out of the pharmacy. I was passing Lenya Ochkolyas. Twenty meters behind it from his mother, who was walking ahead?
– What are you Valik? You’re not you see that it’s me? – I told him.
– What are you doing in the pharmacy?
– Here bought medicine from evil.
– So there is no cure. – Authoritatively declared Ochkolyas.
– Here look! – Celebrations I showed him two packages.
– So it’s glucose. – Without batting an eye, said Lenya.
I do not yet know what the glucose. But retreat was not much, and I asked:
– What are it, gluon, and glucose?
– And Let me I will show.
– On. – I gave Lena a bag. He busily unfolded it, took one big pill and put it in his mouth. Then he took another. Stretching me and said:
– Take, Try. They are sweet and very tasty.
– Lonka – Called Lenya mother. – For a long time, I’ll wait for you. Ran to me? That’ll take a cudgel; I’ll give you a soft spot for.
Ochkolyas half- eaten bag of rushed to his mother, forgetting to return it to me. But I did not care. Again deception and disappointment. Pharmacist issued ordinary glucose for medicine. But where I understand the trick pharmacist, because this glucose, as a remedy for the evil, helped me to recover from insults and put him back to normal. It gave new impetus to the training of self- control in stressful situations in the future and helped me to realize that it is necessary to weigh their deeds and actions, in order to remain calm and self- control…
Chapter Five
I desperately needed a friend, sincere, strong advisers, who replaced his father- be. Being with a friend is always and everywhere together, to feel his protection and support, is not happiness? A wave of loneliness overwhelmed, suppressed emotional impulses to the beautiful vision of the world. Everything seemed bleak, inhospitable, and hostile. Especially painful it in the minutes does not understand children, kith and kin people, and I invented a true friend. So my friend was a penknife, which helped create the cut twigs from the real «sword» or «gun» that I fought with an evil nettle, feeling at that moment, strong and brave. Colored glass, blue – the blue, in which the world appeared in such blue colors, like in the movies, and the birds, and leaves in it, and the grass and the sky was all blue. And the sky in the afternoon seemed to be what it was at night. Only the sun is as bright as ever, and looks at it through a blue piece of glass as painful as without the glass. Another friend of mine was a rooster. He proudly strutted around the yard. His colorful tail developed in the wind, attracting the attention of hens. Cock cool knew how to fight. And although I am a little afraid of him, but he felt his cock friend, because he was never still and always bullied me. Sometimes, his wings spread, and sideways – sideways looms, shouting aggressively, like a turkey. I am a «saber» deters bully, but all in vain. With a wild cackle rooster jumps up to me on the head, hit on the head with its beak and forcing to flee. I hide behind a massive wooden door of the corridor. A cockerel with a view of the winner, paces, turning ceremoniously sides laying hens, they say, look how I’m a hero. Bitter moments of loneliness. Last year before school turned out to be particularly difficult. Opened old kindergarten for children of the collective farm «Bolshevik» workers winter Shpitkovsky kindergarten did not work. Grandma was going to take me.
– You lay down again? – She be called me. I had already managed to fall asleep, lying on the stove, dreaming about his friends. – Well ka comes down, and the nine soon – repeated relentlessly grandmother.
I reluctantly got off the stove. He took off his sister’s long sundress, which served me nightgown. I put on shorts, sleeveless jacket and ran barefoot into the courtyard. There is already waiting for me bully rooster. Bird, seeing his enemy, squinted eye, and was gone on the offensive, belligerent swaying from foot to foot, as if imitating a heavy goose. But creaked opened the corridor door and my grandmother appeared in the doorway. Rooster reluctantly stepped back, pretending to collect grain, and no case it is not up to the boys. Grandmother shook her by the stove, running late with his grandson. But, nevertheless, my grandmother took me by the hand, and we started off. I had no choice but to trudge behind a nagging grandmother. We went out into the street. Then the road reached the alley of century- old lime trees, the remains of stately park, violent flowering meet me and my grandmother. Suddenly Grandma stopped and scrutinized me:
– God, are you mining! To whom are you similar, and -? «She clasped her hands tightly gripped me by the shoulders and pulled her to him. I whirled his head, but my grandmother inexorably began to lick her cheeks grimy, dirty relish spitting saliva. «Washing up», so my face, she took me to the kindergarten. And, to me, I did not want to go there. I do not want to part with his friend’s knife, a piece of glass in blue, and cockerels; they were not allowed to take with them. I reluctantly trudged after him, deliberately lagged behind hustling grandmother. A friendly chestnuts tossed green leaves. Park sang hymns foliage friendly.
– Yes, go the faster! – It is customized for me. And I throw on a step, but as soon as the grandmother turned away, went forward a little, fell behind again and finally decided to still hide behind the trunk of a spreading chestnut.
– You see how harmful child? Ran away?! From brat! Well ka go out?! – the grandmother grumbling, so back, I passed, and I ran out of the trunk of the chestnut tree and mockingly told her in the back?!:
– Grandmother, and who are calling you out there?!
– Oh, wait, that’s to say the educator aunt Ole, she’ll nettle, nettle! From, know how off augh old people!
That kindergarten. The teacher plump, round- faced, met us at the gate.
– I do not accept. For a long time, all the children in the dining room.
– So you do not need to eat it. Let the game! – Retorted grandmother.
– We can not be so. – And, turning to me – and you’ll be punished for being late. Last time accept you. – And my grandmother – more so as not to be late! – Strictly ordered it. What grandmother she waved muttering:
– A- ah- ah! – We know you lazy loafers!
I trudged for teacher followed.
The dining room was warm and hot, plank tables have been removed.
– Sit down at the table! – Ordered the teacher.
I sat down and began swing your leg’s. Surprisingly, but next to me sat a skinny boy. It was Nick Jester. I considered him a friend. He also not had a father and he, too, as I was late today in a kindergarten. Our friendship began from last year, when we arrived home, the sister of my grandmother on my mother’s father measured with Albert, my father. Her name was Aunt Zina, and she lived in Moscow and worked as a stenographer in the office of the USSR government. Mother said that she shorthand various meetings of government meetings and even attended the visits of foreign delegations at the invitation of the Government. She brought a whole lot of chocolates with cherry liqueur, brandy, Well In general I was allowed to take as much as two pockets in my jacket. And Aunt Zina and her mother strictly ordered me not to call her grandmother, aunt Zina name only, though in fact it was my great aunt. Aunt Zina volunteered to take me to the kindergarten, but the mother is not allowed, as it turned out, my mother was afraid that I would take my father to Moscow and give the education Aunt Zina. That’s why I, with pockets stuffed with chocolates, my mother and Aunt Zina together brought me to kindergarten. Here then appeared Jester Kohl, who previously did not pay any attention to me, since he was a year older, and he had his circle of friends of same age. He timidly approached me and asked:
– Valik, and give me candy.
– He came close to us and did not leave until Aunt Zina has not slipped into his hand a piece of candy in a red wrapper. He took the meal and turning to me said:
– Give me more for the guys. And I say that they will not fight you. And if someone will fight you, then you tell me. – He stood there and did not go away, and crushes a candy wrapper in his hand. Aunt Zina said to me: – Valik, do not let anyone these sweets. They are alcohol and these children should not be given sweets.
I felt its importance and significance in these moments, and turned to Aunt Zina:
– Can one give? On the one as there will be nothing wrong with that.
The mother looked at me and said:
– Well, give him one. And let yourself go entertains comrades.
I gave him two candies, and Kohl happily ran to his friends by popping in your mouth all at once. There’s still two boys began to look in my direction. It was not hard to guess what they have learned from Kolya. After a brief meeting, Nick came back, and so is repeated until then, until a box from under sweets was not empty. Then Kohl forgot about my existence…
– Oh, it’s you, Nick. Sit next to the Valik. – Gently, almost tenderly approached him teacher Aunt Olga, rippling weighty body, went to the dispensing window.
The dining room was built in the form of a canopy. The difference in treatment educators to me and Cole was noticeable. Kohl arrived in kindergarten is too late, even for a longer time than I arrived. But he was treated especially carefully stressed, when I was there. Of course, I did not understand this treatment, somewhere subconsciously feeling like an outcast.
Before us was a bowl of soup with fresh peas and chunks of meat.
Kohl looked at my plate and said:
– Give me a piece of fat, I will give you this piece of «meat».
Plate Kohl was a large where piece of cooked bacon.
– It’s not meat! – I said.
– Meat! Meat! It is so white and there is no fat there.
Before I could answer, Nick threw a white, quivering like jelly piece of cooked bacon on my plate, and my plate of delicious ribs with scooped meat.
A lump of disappointment went up to my throat, and stopped there on.
– Take, eat, this is the meat. – Nikola tried to persuade me. I believed him and took a piece of cooked fat ingestion.
– Only you swallow it immediately. It’s meat! – Looking wide- eyed at me, Kohl continued.
I made an effort, and swallowed a piece of clean boiled pork fat layer. Again insulting heart was torn by deception Kohli, who is considered a friend. I could barely hold back the tears and nausea creeping ever closer to the throat. Dinner is not wanted. Some fat is stuck in the throat sickening obstacle. But this fragrant fresh peas, green dill and homemade bread. My favorite soup now seemed tasteless. And then there’s the cook began to shout at me:
– You do not eat what?! Take a spoon in his hand and eat!
Taking advantage of a moment when she turned, Nick grabbed my bowl of soup and threw under the table, then quickly put the rinsed before me. Cook walked around the long table, and again approached us:
– Well, from the fellow. Additives give?
– No, I do not want to. – I mumbled.
– On, Here, drink compote. – She put in front of me a glass faceted pear compote, smelling smoke. I drained the glass in a moment, seemed so good drink after a portion of boiled, fat disgusting. Seemed to give me a bucket of fruit compote, in that memorable moment, half a bucket would surely drink. But the portions were strictly limited.
Nausea rises. Pounding in his temples. Red butterflies fluttered before his eyes, breathing almost stopped.
With a sense of disgust, I looked around and saw the front of the laughing face Koli. The boy rejoiced. Taunts failed, feeling the winner shone in his smug grin.
At that moment I wanted to run home to your friends – redhead cockerel and a dog named Marsik, to the beloved cow dawn, and always nagging Grandmother Eugenia Lavrentevna.
I got up from the table. Nausea intensified, heart beat pounding in his temples throbbed. Reeling, I’m like a drunk, he stumbled to the sink. There i vomited. Hideous pieces of bacon with the gastric juice released stomach. Stomach contents spilled in the trough basin, making it easier overall. Nick, pleased with himself, ran to the courtyard, where there was a fun game. I washed and rubbed his face with a towel, my health has improved significantly, dizziness passed, and I ran toward the merry voices of children. In the courtyard I met hubbub of children’s voices. The game was in full swing. Who sculpted headstock in the sandbox that fought for molds and soviet sand? Who is going to a bed, where, incidentally, it was forbidden to do so, the flowers, until Aunt Olga accompanied my grandmother. But as soon as she turned toward the children, all the children innocently played. Pranks instantly forgotten. The storm – a teacher punishing luxury nettle stem, was a respected person and scary for the child’s perception. I joined a small group of boys at wooden swing that looks something like a giant paperweight painted with blue paint; some had time where peel off. For my kids did not pay any attention. Two of them sat in the seat on the left and three on the right and having fun swinging. From the unequal weight swing skewed and almost rocked.
– Hey! Let me show you Kiev – suddenly I suggested.
– What?! – Almost in unison they shouted the boys.
– Very simple. Let me get out on a seat, and you sit down in front of me and I will rise right up to the very clouds.
– Hurrah! – Cried the children together.
I climbed on the seat one, all five of them, climbed on the contrary, and I was raised high above the courtyard of the kindergarten, over the flower beds of children.
– Well, you see Kiev? – asked the blond boy with blue eyes wide open.
– It is seen! – I answered authoritatively.
– Show us Kiev! – All together rushed towards me and «paperweight» and threw me down, rolling over in my direction.
– Well, what have you done?! I no longer see anything.
But the game flowed in a new way. About Kiev forgotten, beginning to play «Kwacha» (catch- up, who gets caught up, and the Kwacha).
For fun games I forgot about punishment, but it was waiting for me, threatening unexpected places for disobedience grandmother.
Suddenly, there was a teacher Aunt Olya:
– Children’s game over! – Now we’ll go to hold on to the handle and all together.
After breakfast, the teacher Aunt Olya, full and unwieldy from its fullness, the conclusions of children in the oak grove on a soft, velvety grass. She spread a blanket under a thick gnarled trunk of an old oak tree, put on him his fat body and set about their everyday activity, blouses knitting or darning stockings.
– Valik! – She called a poisonous tone of voice. – You are now punished and do not go for a walk. Sit here and do not depart.
What could be worse for the most terrible punishment for restless boys sit near the kindergarten teacher, when there is a fun game right there next to the eyes. Lose game that breaks all my heart my nature and severity of the ban does not allow to give pleasure, then the game becomes a hundred times more attractive than it really is. This is the world of adults. What could be more boring than this world? Are adults do not understand the hearts of young people, as restrictions in this my age to bring deception and cunning in small. So sitting next to Aunt Olya, I mused philosophically. And the sad thoughts plunged me into the maze of considerations that adults can only resolution to encourage the child to the game, and the ban only toughens the soul, is pushing for a crime.
– Valik! – Called on the boy, skinny and frail peers. His wide- open blue- gray eyes and looked innocently. A friendly smile and good luster, and snub nose, facial expression did everything endlessly naive. He began to gesture to invite me to play with him. A teacher at the time, snoring, already nodding, somehow manages to sleep sitting up, not leaning back against the tree trunk. I carefully stood on tiptoe ran for oak.
– Well, what are you, Pavlik?
– Come on, let’s play in Kwacha.
– And if someone says?
