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When he approached her and stopped right beside her, she wished she’d stayed in her room. He was all man, all temptation, all Riley, and he was close enough to touch.
“Having you under my roof is keeping me awake, too. Add that to your list.” Desire was in his eyes and she could feel an answering response to it in her belly. So he wouldn’t see it, she turned away, went to the refrigerator and pulled out the milk.
“You’re running, Brenna.”
“I’m not running. I’m turning away from what shouldn’t happen. I’m getting a midnight snack. Do you want one or not?” She knew she was being defensive and that she wasn’t handling the attraction between them very well. But she had to put some kind of barrier between them or they wouldn’t only tumble into bed, they’d tumble into heartache.
He caught her arm and she stopped moving. Gazing up into his so-blue eyes, she felt her resistance melting away, and that wasn’t good.
“Exactly how long are you going to stay in Miners Bluff?”
So that’s what was bothering him. “A month. I have to get back to be ready for my fall show.”
He looked somewhat relieved as if he’d expected her to say she’d be leaving at the end of the week.
She asked a question that had been in her mind all afternoon. “When are you going to tell your dad and the rest of your family about Derek?”
“I have to figure out the best way to do it.”
“Best way?”
“My father’s sober now. He has been for the past five years. I don’t want to do anything that’s going to rock that boat.”
“My father never meant to destroy your dad’s life. You’ve got to know that.”
He appeared to measure his words carefully as he said, “No, I don’t know that. I know your father was a ruthless businessman. All he cared about was expanding his department store. When my dad couldn’t pay rent to him, your father took advantage of that. He stepped right in, and kicked him out.”
“It was a business decision!”
Now Riley’s composure cracked a little as bitterness seeped out. “Maybe he should have looked behind the business of it. My dad was already sinking financially and that made sure he sank. Then my mom didn’t stick around because she was tired of four kids pulling on her, tired of hardly making ends meet, tired of being with a man who couldn’t get back on his feet. After she left, Jack Daniels became Dad’s best friend. Sometimes, I swear, he didn’t even know we were around. If I hadn’t worked at the grocery store and gotten day-old bread and expired meat, I’m not sure what would have happened.”
Brenna had never known that things were that bad for the O’Rourkes. Oh, yes, she’d known her father had pushed Liam O’Rourke out of the restaurant so he could expand his department store. But she’d never known the rest.
“Riley, I’m sorry. I never knew. Even in high school, you never said.”
“Back then, I was afraid of your opinion. I was afraid of anyone’s opinion. The O’Rourkes stood on their own. They made do. They got by. Now we’re all on our feet, even Dad. I don’t want to do anything that might make him pick up that bottle again.”
Maybe so. But Riley was forgetting something. “We went to my father’s department store together and stopped for gas. Tomorrow we’re going to the pediatrician. You know Miners Bluff. If your dad doesn’t hear it from you, he’s going to hear it from someone else very soon.”
Riley’s gaze told her he’d already thought of that, and he was worried about it.
Brenna stepped back to the cupboard and took out another cereal bowl, but Riley shook his head.
“Never mind. I think I’m going to go outside on the porch for a bit. Enjoy your snack.”
She wanted to tell him he needed a shirt. She wanted to tell him the temperature had dipped like it always did at night here. But she didn’t get the chance to tell him anything because he left the kitchen and went out the front door.
Riley still didn’t want her pity. He still had his pride. He’d rather be cold than sit in the kitchen with her.
That thought tightened her throat.
Chapter Three
On Saturday morning Derek suckled as Brenna sat in the wooden rocker in her room. She rocked back and forth before the sun was up, wondering if there was any new mother in the world who wasn’t sleep deprived. Not that she minded. She knew these moments with her child in her arms were precious because he was already growing fast. After all, she’d read all the baby books. Before long he’d be rolling over, sitting up, standing, crawling. She didn’t want to think about all of that. She just wanted to enjoy Derek in her arms.
However, rocking couldn’t prevent her from thinking about yesterday and the appointment with the pediatrician. She’d held Derek while the doctor swabbed the inside of his cheek and hers. Then she’d left the room with her son, knowing Riley was having his cheek swabbed, too.
She hoped just having the DNA test done would convince Riley he could trust her. Whenever they were in the same room, they didn’t seem to know how to act!
After the appointment she’d taken Derek to visit with her mom for a few hours but her father had been at the store. She wanted to find her way somehow to a new father-daughter relationship better than the one she’d had since she’d left home.
Sounds suddenly broke the early morning quiet. Riley was up and about. Why? It was only 5:00 a.m. She heard the shower running and did her best not to imagine him under it. Then she heard drawers opening and closing. She’d been hoping to catch a few more hours of sleep. Instead, however, after she burped Derek and laid him back in his crib, she belted a robe tightly around her, opened her door wider and stepped out into the hall where shadows were thick and dark.
When Riley’s door opened, he emerged, startling her. He took one look at her in her robe and frowned. “Problem?”
“No problem,” she was quick to assure him. “I was feeding Derek and I heard you. What are you doing up?”
“Clay’s coming by to pick up some gear. He’s taking over my tour this morning so I can stay with you.”
“There’s no need for you to do that. I’m fine here with Derek on my own.”
Riley took a step closer to her, maybe to see her better in the dim light that was glowing from his room into the hall. “This house is in the middle of nowhere. That’s fine for me. But for you and the baby, I’m not so sure. I was supposed to take a group on a trail ride this morning and a tour out to Feather Peak tomorrow. If I do that, I’ll be out of cell phone contact.”
“You can’t hover, Riley.” She gave him a dark look and he knew exactly what that meant. Her parents had hovered all her life and she hadn’t liked it one bit. It was one of the reasons she’d left.
His frown turned into a scowl. He looked as sexy as ever, dressed in a T-shirt and jeans, all muscles and fitness and virility. So much for not thinking about the night they’d spent together. It would be so easy to fall for him all over again, and she couldn’t let that happen. She didn’t want her heart broken. She knew exactly how Riley felt about marriage and couldn’t forget the heartbreak from when she’d left before.
He was looking at her as if he’d like to unbelt her robe. He was looking at her with protective instincts that made her feel safe, yet seemed to threaten her at the same time. She didn’t want to think about him as safe because nothing about Riley O’Rourke was secure.
Her independence was a cloak she wore easily and she wrapped it around herself now and stood up to him. “I’m a capable woman, Riley. I know I have a new baby, and who knows what can happen? But my parents are only a short drive away if I need anybody. You can’t stop your life because of me and Derek. I wouldn’t want you to.”
Eyeing her warily, maybe not sure she meant what she was saying, he took another step closer. Riley within kissing or touching distance was not a good thing. But she didn’t back away.
“Did you get much sleep?” he asked, suddenly changing the subject.
“Some,” she answered cautiously.
“You know, if you’d let me give Derek a bottle you could get more sleep.”
“And you’d get less.”
“Fifty-fifty. Isn’t that what parenting is about?”
She wasn’t sure how to answer that one. Yes, she wanted her son to know his father. But they had different lives, lived in different places, and she didn’t know how they were going to settle that.
“I’ll start using a bottle with Derek some of the time. If you want to feed him, you can.”
“I’d like that.” His voice had gone all low and husky and she heard the emotion in it, something Riley usually hid. Was it the idea of taking care of his son? Experiences he’d had that had shown him how precious life could be?
As quickly as he’d taken a step toward her, he took a step back.
“All right,” he said, going back to their earlier conversation. “I’ll call Clay and tell him I’m taking out the tours. But today I’ll be back by 1:00. I need to call my family and let the fallout begin.”
She’d watched him pace at times yesterday, pick up his phone and then put it down. He had a lot more family than she did, so there would be many more judgments to combat. No wonder he’d waited until he knew what he wanted to say … and do.
“I’ll be here,” she said softly. “While Derek sleeps, I need to work.”
“Work as in—”
“New sketches, new designs, phone calls. I have good people working for me, but they still need to consult with me.”
He nodded as if he understood. Then as if he couldn’t help himself, he reached out and touched her cheek. “Go back to bed. You have blue smudges under your eyes.”
Abruptly he turned away and headed for the kitchen.
As Brenna returned to her room, she knew she was probably going to have blue smudges for the next few months. Who did Riley see when he looked at her? The girl he’d known? Or the woman she’d become?
It really didn’t matter … because nothing had changed between them. On the other hand, everything had.
Riley was supposed to meet the tourists he’d be leading on a trail ride at the Rocky D ranch. Zack Decker guided a few horses into the corral to choose from—a pretty gray-spotted appaloosa, a bay, a chestnut, and Riley’s favorite, Silver Star, a beautiful pewter-gray gelding who was as reliable as he was durable. He was Riley’s pick every time.
Zack grinned at him as Riley strode up to the horse and gave him his hand to smell.
Silver whinnied a greeting.
Riley gave him a “hey, boy,” and stroked his neck.
“What’s on for this morning?” Zack asked.
“Three businessmen who decided to take a vacation together and come West.”
“Do you think they know how to ride?” Zack asked with wry sarcasm.
“They say they’ve had some experience. But trail riding in the foothills of Moonshadow Mountain is a heck of a lot different than riding on groomed lanes outside a big city. So we’ll see.”
“Do you think you’ll be able to ride out and be back by lunch?”
“It’ll be tight, but we should do okay. I really don’t want it to go long.”
As Zack walked around Silver and checked the lead on another horse’s nose, he said, “You usually don’t care if the trail ride goes all day.”
“The men are driving to Flagstaff and have a meeting about hiking down the Grand Canyon.”
“What’s the but?” Zack asked bluntly.
Zack never beat around the bush. As a movie producer and director as well as co-manager of the Rocky D with his wife Jenny, he could put his thumb right on the pertinent point even when you didn’t want him to. Riley knew Brenna’s presence in town wouldn’t be quiet forever. He was going to put in that call to his father when he got back and meet with him later today.
But for the meantime there would be no harm in telling Zack because he’d become more than a former classmate—he’d become a loyal friend.
“I had a surprise the other day.”
“Good surprise or bad surprise?” Zack asked, propping a foot on the bottom rung of the fence, tilting his Stetson back with his other hand.
“Brenna McDougall returned to Miners Bluff and ended up on my doorstep.”
“I heard you were talking at the reunion and left together. Family feud over?”
“Hell, no. But … I didn’t tell you why she came back.”
“If she was on your doorstep, then it was to see you.”
“Did you take a class in deductive theory?”
“Get on with it, O’Rourke. You want to tell me something. You know you do. You’re just having trouble doing it.”
Riley sighed, gazed off into the distance where pines and aspen, larch and laurel gave the Rocky D its special charm. “Have you ever done anything foolish, Zack? So foolish it changed the rest of your life?”
“Not speaking to my father for all those years was foolish. Not convincing Jenny to go with me out of high school was foolish. Holding grudges for too long without knowing the real reason behind them was foolish. So, yeah, I’ve done foolish things.” Zack had reconciled with his father Silas and had married Jenny less than a year ago. He sure seemed happy.
But Riley didn’t believe in marriage. He’d been too hurt by his parents. He didn’t believe two people could make promises that would last forever. His mother couldn’t stand the heat and she’d gotten out of the kitchen. His mother’s abandonment of her family had driven his dad to the bottle. Liam O’Rourke had never gotten over loving his wife and not being loved in return. Those difficult years had had a profound effect on Riley.
And if Brenna hadn’t been able to stand by Riley during the tough times, had she ever really loved him?
He had to admit when he saw Zack and Jenny together, they looked at each other as if they were each other’s worlds. He realized the same was true for Clay Sullivan and his wife, Celeste, who had also reunited after the reunion, as well as Mikala Conti and Dawson Barrett who had been classmates and were now expecting a baby. But besides his own parents’ divorce and that of his brother Patrick, he’d seen his sister lose a husband she’d loved.
The bottom-line truth was all of that plus Riley’s tours of service had affected him deeply. He didn’t want to be tied down. He wanted room to roam and that prevented romantic entanglements from going any further. Still …
Whenever he thought of Derek, he thought about a life built around his son. He just couldn’t envision it yet.
“Brenna knocked on my door and when I opened it she was holding my baby,” he blurted out.
Zack didn’t react at first. Then he asked with that perception Riley didn’t know if he admired or hated, “This happened the night of the reunion?”
“Yeah.”
“What are you going to do about it?”
“I’m a dad. I’m going to act like a dad.”
“She has her picture in magazines, doesn’t she? Jenna told me she’s a well-known bridal gown designer. Mikala wore one of her gowns for her wedding.”
“Seriously?”
“Dawson told her whatever she wanted and that’s what she wanted. Small wedding, really nice gown. Not that I noticed much, with Jenny in a dress Brenna designed, too.”
“Yeah, she’s famous—in New York, anyway, maybe in L.A. We haven’t gotten into it.”
“Well, you’d better. I imagine her life is as busy as life could get.” Zack shook his head. “How did you ever get involved with her again? Your families will never see eye-to-eye.”
