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He clenched his fist and let his fingernails bite into the palm to keep from revealing the secret. “Mia had nothing to do with the fire. Nothing.”
Russ raised a skeptical eyebrow. “You gonna make a habit of defending her again?”
“She doesn’t need my defense. She’s done nothing wrong.”
A righteous look radiated from his eyes. “Then it’s not a problem if I investigate her.”
Ryan’s hands itched to throttle him and wipe that pious look off his face, but that wouldn’t help. He wouldn’t give in to the temptation. “Go easy on her, bro. She risked her life to save your niece, who might have died if Mia hadn’t been so brave.”
Russ studied Ryan’s face until he grew uncomfortable under the intense scrutiny and asked, “What?”
“It just seems kind of odd you’re defending her like this when you cheated on her and hurt her more than my questioning ever could.”
“You know I did that for her.”
“Then why do you feel so guilty about it?” Russ locked gazes with Ryan. “And while you’re at it, maybe you should ask if your guilt is keeping you from seeing her involvement in the arson.”
Ryan started to protest, but he was too caught off-guard by the comment to formulate the words.
Russ clapped Ryan on the shoulder. “Don’t worry—I’m not trying to railroad Mia. I’m keeping an open mind. She may well be innocent. If so, you can say I told you so all you want. All I ask is that you think about it before you rush to her defense without any evidence to support your position.” He lifted his hand and saluted. “I’ll catch you later.”
He clomped down the hallway and Ryan watched as questions pummeled his brain. Had he jumped to defend her without any thought? Was he simply protecting her on instinct from their past relationship? Or was she really innocent and in danger from an unknown source?
She had changed so much physically maybe her personality had drastically changed, too. The woman he once knew may not even exist anymore.
There was only one way to find out. Spend time with her. He spun and headed back toward her door. Before going home and cleaning up, he’d convince her to work with Wilderness Ways. That way if Russ was wrong and someone was out to get her, Ryan would be right by her side.
FIVE
The next morning, weariness from a sleepless night oozed from Mia’s bones as Nurse Karen settled the blanket over her legs and then stepped behind a modern cart holding a computer.
“Once I finish this paperwork, you can get dressed and we’ll get you out of here in no time.” Humming quietly as if she loved her job, she input data into Mia’s file.
Mia smiled over the lilting melody. Her mom used to sing this same song when she was happy. Mia closed her eyes and urged her muscles to relax. The notes rushed up the scale and plunged down bringing with them the last good memory Mia had of her mother.
Mia could almost feel the warm breeze skipping off the lake and into their cabin at Pinetree. Their family had just arrived for a much-needed vacation and her mom’s face lit with happiness for the first time in months. Her parents didn’t think she and David knew they fought over their father’s neglect of the family for his job. But their vacation was supposed to fix all of that.
They had no sooner unpacked when her father pulled out his laptop and sat at the worn kitchen table to work on a medical book he was writing. Mia’s joy evaporated along with her mother’s. She issued an ultimatum. If Mia’s father spent his days at Pinetree working on the book, the marriage was over.
Mia couldn’t stand by and do nothing. She begged her father to take them for a ride in the country. He agreed and she was thrilled. She’d kept their parents together. Until she pointed out a deer coming from the woods and her father took his eyes off the road long enough for the car to slip onto the steep shoulder. He tried to wrestle the car back onto the pavement, but lost control and they slammed into a monster pine tree killing her mother instantly.
Mia sighed. Life would have been so much easier if God had let her mother live. If her father never blamed her for the accident. She’d blamed herself until counseling helped her see the futility of misguided guilt. Now she was able to enjoy thoughts of her mother.
Not so with Ryan and her father. She’d tried to let go of the drama with them as easily. But she’d dated too many men who reminded her of her controlling father to let go of the pain and bitterness.
A knock sounded on the door and Karen’s humming ended.
Mia clung to the memories of her mom but they drifted away with the music. Expecting Ryan, who’d offered to give her a ride home today, she opened her eyes and looked at the door.
Not Ryan. Her father.
His alert eyes searched the space and took in her appearance before creasing in a critical assessment and focusing on the computer.
She drew in a quick breath and held it.
“Doctor,” Karen said, a hint of awe settling into her tone.
“I’ll just have a quick peek at Mia’s records.” The raspy, yet firm voice instantly transported Mia back ten years.
Head bent low over the cart, the sound of his fingers clicking on the keyboard pinged through the room. Mia stared at a large void on the back of his head replacing thick black hair that had once thrived like shag carpeting. He didn’t seem so intimidating anymore. More fragile and old. She eased out her breath. She could do this…
As if he sensed her perusal, he looked up. “Everything looks good, Mia,” he said waving a hand over the computer. “You should make a full recovery.”
This was so like him to put up the facade of being a concerned father in front of others. She couldn’t stomach the two-faced behavior in high school and had rebelled against it, but after yesterday’s stress, she didn’t have the strength to fight him. Besides, if she was going to get him to confess his part in the fire, she’d better not embarrass him in front of Karen.
Mia smiled tightly. “I appreciate your taking the time to stop in. Do you have a few more minutes to talk?”
Pure astonishment took hold of his face. She hadn’t responded positively to him in years. He didn’t know what to make of this sudden about-face, and she didn’t know what to say. An awkward silence descended on the room.
Karen cleared her throat. “If you’re finished with the computer, Doctor, I’ll get out of here so the two of you can catch up.”
“Yes, of course,” he said with a kind smile reserved for those who met his exacting standards.
As Karen departed, Mia grappled with what to do. She wanted to say something to keep him looking open and receptive, but when the nurse exited the room his door of kindness snapped shut, and his hard shell returned.
He picked a piece of dark lint off his white coat and flicked it into the air. “What is it you want, Mia?”
She felt like he’d just flicked her away as easily as the fuzz. Tears dampened her eyes but like so many times in the past, she willed them back and located her armor. She slipped inside the steel plating and drew a deep breath before firing her accusation.
“I received an interesting letter in the mail warning me to keep away from Pinetree or I would pay.” She fixed her gaze on his steely gray eyes. “I immediately recognized it as something you would do, but I never thought you’d want me out of here so badly you’d hire someone to burn down the barn.”
He studied her, his eyes blank and unreadable. After a few painful moments, right when she was ready to squirm out from under his microscopic intensity, he heaved a sigh.
“As usual, you’ve made it very clear what you think of me. I won’t respond to your accusation.” He spun and exited the room.
What? He left. Just like that. He couldn’t even be bothered to answer her. But why was she surprised? This was exactly what she’d expected from him. But not what she’d hoped he’d do.
Her lips quivered. Tears trickled out.
Even after years of his rejection, she’d hoped he’d deny the charges and declare he’d never hurt the daughter he loved and welcome her back. After all, that’s what Uncle Wally had wanted when he structured his will to bring her back here for a year before inheriting Pinetree…and his plan had given her hope of the reconciliation. Her father didn’t appear to have the same goal in mind.
No, with Uncle Wally dead, she was all alone and the finality of her loss swept through her like never before.
Ryan walked down the hospital hallway. He’d been surprised yesterday when Mia agreed to let him pick her up this morning and drive her home. Not that he should read anything into it. She likely agreed because Logan Lake had no public transportation and he was her only way out of this place. On the bright side, she was willing to take under consideration his request to fill in as a counselor at Wilderness Ways.
With the students arriving tomorrow, he hoped for a firm commitment from her. The last thing she needed with everything going on in her life was pressure from him, but he wasn’t opposed to encouraging her to accept. Turning her focus on to the students could be just the thing to help take her mind off her problems.
He rounded the corner and spotted Mia’s father exiting her room. Lips puckered, he slammed his hands into the pockets of his white coat and rushed down the hall. He didn’t appear so much angry as dejected.
This was a good sign. Conversations between Mia and her father had always escalated into fights so boisterous it was a wonder they didn’t end in violence. If the same thing had happened today, he’d have been fuming and storming away.
At the open door, the sound of crying surprised him and pulled him into the room. Mia lay back on the raised bed, her moist eyes as vulnerable as little Jessie’s had been when he’d left her with the EMTs. The large gashes on Mia’s cheek taped closed with butterfly bandages kicked him in the gut again. He’d thought she’d look better this morning but her appearance was as delicate as fine china.
What could have happened to upset her this much, yet not affect her father the same way?
Ryan hated to bring it up, but if she needed to talk about the conversation, he would be more than willing to listen. “Mia, are you all right?”
Her eyes opened wider letting a wave of misery wash out. “Thanks for coming to get me, but I’m not ready to leave,” she said between sobs. “The nurse still has to do the paperwork.”
He’d witnessed hundreds of fights with her dad after she’d rebelled against his wishes, but the pain reflected in her eyes topped all of them. He couldn’t stand by without offering comfort.
He crossed the room and sat next her. Careful not to tangle the IV and oxygen tubes, he drew her into his arms. She didn’t resist but snuggled close, and her crying intensified.
“Shh.” He rocked her and breathed in her scent, a combination of tart hospital soap and caustic smoke with a slight hint of her sweet perfume. Her body shook from her sobs and she clutched the back of his shirt as his shoulder grew damp from her tears.
If he could get a hold of her father right now, the man would pay. Something Ryan always wanted to do in high school, but was too young to act on. Her father had broken her heart so many times and Ryan picked up the pieces, restored her confidence and tried to prove she was loveable, but he’d never gotten the satisfaction of seeing her father suffer for hurting her.
And if Ryan lived the faith he professed, he’d forgive the man for the way he treated his daughter, and should also be thinking about how to help repair the rift between them.
She trembled and snuffled, winding down in her crying.
He hated that she was hurting, but he had to admit holding her again felt right. He would be happy to stay like this. Minus her crying, of course.
No. Not a good idea. He’d never make that kind of commitment to a woman again. Especially one who might be stepping into danger without any regard for her life.
He gently released her, located tissues on the table by the bed and offered them. “What did he say this time?”
“My father? You saw him?” Watery eyes fixed on his as she ripped out a tissue. Ryan nodded.
“I told him about the letter and that I believed he was behind the fire.” She hiccupped and dabbed at her red-rimmed eyes. “He didn’t deny it.”
Not as bad as Ryan had imagined from her over-the-top reaction. “He didn’t admit to doing anything. That’s a good thing, isn’t it?”
“No! Even if he didn’t do it,” she sniffed, “he clearly wants nothing to do with me.”
So this is what set her off. Not her father’s guilt, but his rejection. This wasn’t a topic they could resolve in a short conversation, and Ryan didn’t think he could offer anything new after all these years. He could sidestep the rejection and focus on the fire. Then maybe she’d be open to telling Russ about the letter and look for other suspects.
Ryan shifted on the edge of the bed. “Sounds to me like you really don’t believe your father’s behind all of this.”
She blew her nose and set the tissue on her lap. “I don’t know what to think anymore. I can’t imagine he’d hire an arsonist, but he’s the most logical candidate.”
She was right. There was no other obvious suspect, but Ryan had to plant doubt in her mind to get her moving forward. “Think about it, Mia. Would your father really commit a criminal act and risk going to jail just to get you to leave town?”
She pulled out another tissue. “I know it doesn’t make sense, but who else would’ve done it? David is the only one who would benefit if I left.”
“In my opinion he’s a less likely suspect than your father. He’s as close to a model citizen as they come. Plus he seems to be doing well financially.”
“I agree and that’s why the more I think about him the more I rule him out.” She sighed and twisted the tissue in her fingers. “It has to be my father.”
Her agonizing expression left Ryan feeling helpless. He had no idea how to figure out the identity of the arsonist but he could offer his support.
He clasped her hand. “No matter who did this, I’m here to help you through it.”
Her eyes lingered on his face. “You’ve been nothing but kind to me since I’ve gotten here.” She released a shuddering breath. “I’m thankful for everything you’ve done. Saving me at the barn and all. Really, I am. Not that you could tell. All I’ve done is repay you with harsh words.”
“I hurt you. I deserve your anger.”
She worked her lower lip and went silent for so long he thought she might have changed her mind about engaging in this conversation. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“Now?”
She nodded. “I can’t leave until the nurse discharges me. We might as well make good use of the time.”
This was what he wanted, but now that it was time to talk, he didn’t have a clue how to start. He’d always hoped she’d forgive him, but she might not. What if she didn’t? What happened then?
“Ryan?” she said softly, and offered a nod of encouragement.
“Right, high school.” He shifted on the bed. “So if we hadn’t broken up that night what do you think would’ve happened between us?”
Her eyes widened.
He’d caught her by surprise. “This isn’t a test or anything to see how you felt. Just a question.”
“Well, you’d already started college. My grades weren’t good enough to get into Reed, so I would have gone to a community college or gotten a job so we could live close to each other.”
He’d thought along the same lines. “And then…when I graduated, we’d get married and live happily ever after here in Logan Lake, right?”
“Something like that.”
“And that’s why I arranged for you to find me kissing Sheila and made you think I had something going on with her.” He clamped his hand on the back of his neck and looked down to hide his embarrassment over the dumb decision he was about to explain. “You were so unhappy under your father’s control. It was getting worse by the day. You wanted out of here more than anything except being with me.” He looked up to gauge her reaction.
She met his gaze with clear green eyes that encouraged him to continue.
“I couldn’t let you stay here and live under your father’s thumb. You had to go out in the world and find out who you were without your father harping at you for everything. If you knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you, you would have settled here.” He sighed heavily. “But if I made you think I didn’t want to be with you anymore you’d run to Wally in Atlanta, which is exactly what you did.”
He prayed for understanding. “And look at you. My gosh, just look at you. You’re not working in some dead-end job with three kids and a loathing for your husband because he kept you here. You came back here strong and independent. Able to stand up to your father. A professional counselor respected by your peers.”
She sat unmoving, her eyes fixed on his face. Tears began to slide down her cheeks. He didn’t know how to respond. Were these tears of forgiveness or tears of loss? He reached out a thumb and swiped them away.
When she didn’t pull away, a nervous laugh escaped his throat. “And now this is the part where you forgive me for hurting you because you realize I did what I did because I loved you.”
She sniffed and ever so slightly nodded. “You had a good reason, and for that I can forgive you. But that doesn’t erase the hurt. It’ll take time for me to forget how it felt.”
He reached out to take her in his arms but let his hands fall. He wanted to hold her until her tears stopped again, but he couldn’t.
He wouldn’t risk reconnecting as they had in high school. Couldn’t risk caring for her again. She’d nearly died and this nightmare wasn’t over. She was still in danger. If the man who set fire to the barn wanted to hurt her, Ryan wasn’t sure he could stop him. Loss of Cara had proven his limitations.
SIX
