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Daddy
Tuhin Sinha
With gender dynamics changing the world over, parenting is a key area where this change is most perceptible. Modern dads today have no inhibitions in changing their baby’s diapers, spending sleepless nights catering to their newborn or looking after the baby while the mother is at work.They often tend to be more patient and indulgent with the baby, a marked shift from the way Indian fathers used to be a few decades ago. Daddy, a first of its kind Indian book, provides a rare parenting insight from a father’s perspective, and looks at issues, concerns and joys that every new father goes through. Combining personal narrative, with stories from new fathers and leading medical practitioners, the book brings together ideas on involved fatherhood and explores the changing relationship dynamic between a couple after the baby arrives. In more ways than one, it celebrates the spirit of new age fatherhood.PRAISE FOR ‘DADDY’"Fatherhood has been the most amazing life altering experience for me..Daddy is a one of its kind book that celebrates the emotion of being a father, besides being a ready handbook for all new fathers as well as those planning to go the family way." -VIVEK OBEROI, BOLLYWOOD ACTOR"‘Daddy’ proves that fatherhood is an inner calling and a passion! It shows how you can find time to be a hands-on father despite all your professional commitments" -MANOJ BAJPAYEE, BOLLYWOOD ACTOR"The book is an excellent combination of profound paternal emotions and some very practical guidance tips for new fathers. Loved it… you will!" -TARUN KATIAL, CEO, RELIANCE BROADCAST NETWORK LTD."Tuhin’s book comes with a bright ray of hope, providing beautiful and meaningful insights for fathers to raise their children in a healthy environment, which will enhance a child’s life holistically." -SEEMA HINGORRANY, PSYCHOLOGIST
Praise from the Participant Dads (#ulink_c38186ef-e38c-5f7d-a801-8061ca31b817)
‘Excellent read! Absolutely unputdownable for new and expecting dads! Would have been even better had this been around when my son Archit was born!’
—Abhishek Srivastava
‘A riveting, heart-rending, responsible and flawless depiction of a father-son relationship. Strongly recommended as a must-read for parents, especially fathers.’
—Anant Ganesh
‘Fatherhood is this biggest joy and this book will make your journey through parenthood seamless and fun.’
—Asad Lalljee
‘A book that brings out the male perspective on child-birth was long needed. Daddy is a brilliant and very useful read.’
—Debashis Das
‘A must-read for all modern-day parents. Tuhin has put his heart and soul in consolidating his experiences.’
—Rajan Gupta
‘Finally, a book about, for, and by the modern, urban, Indian father—an oft-neglected demographic.’
—Roopak Saluja
‘A practical handbook with emotional connect makes it a unique read.’
—Roshan Kanal
‘It’s a must read for the younger generation to realise what all their dads did for them…It will help kids reconnect to their dad’s with a fresher outlook.’
—Shobhit Jaiswal
‘The book is a must-read for every dad-to-be, particularly in a world where nuclear families have become the norm. With no support from grannies and uncles, it becomes even more imperative that the husband equally helps his wife in nurturing the kids.’
—Zahid H Javali
About the Author (#uba63302b-685f-5230-a7af-f095e226f206)
TUHIN A. SINHA is among the best-selling authors in India, a columnist and a screenwriter.
Tuhin is acknowledged among the most prolific Indian writers with a maverick knack to experiment with new genres. While his first book, That Thing Called Love (2006) was an offbeat romance, The Captain (2008) was a cricket thriller that explored the underbelly of modern cricket. Of Love And Politics (2010) was a political thriller. His fourth and fifth books The Edge of Desire (2012) and its sequel, The Edge of Power (2013) can be called socio-political thrillers with a strong feminist skew.
Daddy is Tuhin’s sixth book and his first non-fiction narrative.
Tuhin is also a screenwriter of several popular TV shows, the most noteworthy being Yeh Rishta Kya Kehlata Hai on Star Plus.
Apart from his fiction novels and scripts, Tuhin is a keen political observer. His columns on Indian politics appear regularly in India’s leading dailies. Tuhin has a regular blog on ibnlive.com (http://www.ibnlive.com). He also appears frequently on news channels on discussions around politics and cricket.
At present, apart from working on two other books, Tuhin is a consultant with Reliance Broadcast, in- charge of new programming initiatives for their TV channel, Big Magic.
Tuhin is a doting Dad who has often bunked work to steal additional time with his son. He is not a bad husband either.
Daddy
The Birth of a Father
Tuhin A. Sinha
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
For
Neev Tanish,
you’ve gifted me the most pristine experience on earth
Daddy,
whose virtues and values I carry today as a father
Ramy,
for bringing Neev into the world
Mamma,
for being the most wonderful mother
And for every passionate and evolving Dad who redefines the parent-progeny relationship with a new meaning.
Acknowledgments (#uba63302b-685f-5230-a7af-f095e226f206)
There aren’t many instances in your professional life when you instinctively derive the courage to swerve away from conventional commercial considerations and do what you believe in. In that situation it is equally an arduous task to find the right person who believes in what you believe in. Thank you Amrita Verma Chowdhury for the strength of your conviction. Thank you for your indefatigable efforts and initiative in nurturing the book and making it happen in its present form. As a publisher, you have been exceptional.
Thank you, Mohini Chaudhuri for your being so patient and relentless through the editing process. This was not an easy book to edit and your contribution to the book stands out.
This book would not have happened without the sporting participation of ten young fathers who eagerly took queries, some of a personal nature, and with whose inputs I was able to bring forth more perspectives for the readers. Thank you, Abhishek Srivastava, Asad Lalljee, Anant Ganesh, Debashis Das, Rajeev Shukre, Rajan Gupta, Roopak Saluja, Roshan Kanal, Shobhit Jaiswal and Zahid H. Jawali for taking time out from your busy schedules and making the book more engaging.
I owe a debt of gratitude to renowned psychologist, Dr. Seema Hingorrany, senior paediatric consultant and oncologist, Dr. Santanu Sen and paediatrician Dr. Ninad Hebbalkar for contributing exclusive write-ups for the readers. The book’s utility for the common reader has gone up manifold with your contributions.
I am grateful to Vivek Oberoi, Manoj Bajpayee, Madhur Bhandarkar, Tarun Katial, Nandita Aggarwal and Vinita Nangia for their consistent encouragement.
I remain grateful to my mom and dad for instilling in me values that had me believe that a book of this nature was long overdue and had to be written.
I am as grateful to my wife Ramyani and son Tanish for being my reservoir of strength. You make life more liveable.
Last but not the least, as always, I remain thankful to my readers! No contemporary Indian writer has perhaps experimented as lavishly with all his books as I have. You give me the strength to believe that the bestsellers’ chart is not the be all and end all. There is a beautiful world beyond it.
The Rainbow (#uba63302b-685f-5230-a7af-f095e226f206)
My heart leaps up when I behold
A Rainbow in the sky:
So was it when my life began;
So is it now I am a man;
So be it when I shall grow old,
Or let me die!
The Child is father of the man;
And I wish my days to be
Bound each to each by natural piety.
—William Wordsworth
Contents
Cover (#u3b3856ba-87d0-5e85-83c5-cdd213a595f7)
Praise from the Participant Dads (#u539c3b41-39d1-5477-afea-75e60ad56136)
About the Author
Title Page (#u6a9822d8-14e6-5a34-9aec-f70bda507ec5)
Dedication (#u6ca92734-ad84-5a76-9acd-965af8d881fb)
Acknowledgements
The Rainbow
Prologue
Section A: BECOMING DAD (#ua3f7134c-36e8-576e-bced-855561e91570)
1. Introduction (#ub3807b19-f052-565e-a740-e9ea647df8f2)
Why I wrote the book
2. I Want to Become a Dad…But Am I Ready? (#ue062bf6d-d46e-5c76-959c-becaf7205fbd)
My first paternal pangs
When to be a father (#ulink_55c751bc-a899-52f2-b273-10075f04f09d)
It’s written in the stars (#ulink_55a9761e-8462-554d-bc33-cf57cba99f52)
The clock is ticking… (#ulink_e0c1c284-0714-5012-aea2-d1c93b957b2f)
Things to remember (#ulink_df9abeb2-5d1a-5ecf-baba-371d84a57507)
Section B: WHAT A DAD NEEDS TO DO DURING PREGNANCY (#u6f45e365-821f-58fa-b676-47e8c296ab94)
3. You’re Expecting! What Next? (#ua74421c8-0658-5e02-90bd-f300a309b1dd)
Deciding the doctor and hospital
Make your home baby-friendly (#ulink_1692732a-8094-5f18-93e3-56c3af59cc80)
Scans and more… (#ulink_7a078df2-9f16-5802-ab32-a76ea5551e9b)
Stem cell banking (#ulink_00965060-56c4-5f20-8f4b-01b7aba9b1b5)
Things to remember (#ulink_72702bec-03f9-5920-b6f7-428322a0d696)
4. Giving Emotional Support (#u3cb76a38-a389-50cd-b8cd-243c2c22e77b)
She needs some tender, loving, care
Say goodbye to your social life (#ulink_4a34714a-b720-55c1-8695-4913ea7aecc3)
Put wife before work (#ulink_76b75bf5-59e5-540b-bdd0-12f2fddd20ac)
Help her through morning sickness (#ulink_bb0091da-bff9-5ac8-aa9e-92573a7bce6d)
Indulge her food cravings (#ulink_d10e986d-8232-5874-badb-afa1792740c6)
Pick up household chores (#ulink_e57adece-19d6-5fe7-b6b7-c5cc78030bf7)
Protect mother and baby (#ulink_16225655-f7df-5620-ba54-10dced2a670b)
Sometimes you have to sit back and let go! (#ulink_ad8b1cf7-b3aa-5033-9786-8710d303b05d)
Plan a baby moon (#ulink_aad9fd41-69b3-5476-9938-4d7a3f761761)
Section C: THE BIRTH (#u4f9e4dea-e1c0-575f-af4a-46cc49966b36)
5. Labour Day (#ucd139bd1-1647-5afd-9424-fe702a4a8ac1)
