скачать книгу бесплатно
Colt, who had leaned forward, sprawled back into his chair. The tip of his shoe nudged against her foot. Lena drew her own feet back underneath her chair. Two days ago, heck two hours ago, it wouldn’t have bothered her. But something had changed. An awareness of him as a man had sprung up seemingly out of nowhere.
Oh, she’d always thought he was an attractive man. With his rugged good looks and the well-defined muscles his dangerous hobbies had given him, any woman would be hard-pressed to argue. Colt had an air about him, an adventurous spirit that made you think you’d never be bored while he was around.
But she didn’t want adventure, never had. She wanted a man who would settle in one place, build a solid and stable life for her and their children. Colt didn’t fit that bill. Yet another reason she’d never thought of him in a romantic or sexual way.
“Didn’t you hear? We’re not—”
Lena kicked him with her sandal-clad foot, stubbing her toe and shutting him up in one fell swoop. Grimacing, she said, “Colt, behave.”
“What would be the fun in that?” he asked, mischief glinting in his eyes. She’d seen that look before, many times, and it usually heralded some harebrained scheme that she wanted no part of—such as jumping out of a perfectly functioning airplane.
There were many things about Colt that she liked. He was a good friend, always there for her when she needed him. But there was plenty about him that she just didn’t understand, and she had convinced herself a long time ago she never would.
She shot Colt a warning look for good measure as the sommelier poured. Lena gratefully accepted her glass. Taking a sip, she let the chilled bubbles tickle her nose and cascade down her throat. “Mmm, this is good.” It was light and fruity, sweet on her tongue. She took another sip. And another.
Looking at Colt, she smiled. Candlelight flickered between them, casting shifting shadows across his face. She wanted to reach out and run the pad of her finger over his skin. Her smile vanished and her eyes darted away. What was she thinking? She lifted her glass and drained it.
Colt palmed the bottle from the waiting bucket and asked, “More?”
The playful mask he’d been wearing slipped and for the first time Lena realized he was worried about her. The space between his eyebrows wrinkled and his lips pulled tight into a straight line.
“I’m fine,” she said.
Colt shrugged, the dress shirt he’d put on pulling tight against the broad expanse of his shoulders. “If you say so.”
She was halfway through her second glass, on an empty stomach, when Marcy appeared at her elbow.
“All settled in?”
Lena looked up at the other woman, at the strained smile that stretched her lips but didn’t touch her eyes.
“Yes, the bungalow is lovely.”
“I’m so glad you’re pleased.”
Marcy plunked something that made a metallic twang onto the table. The plain gold bands rattled for a moment before settling against each other. “I noticed you didn’t have rings. We’ll need them for the photographs.”
Lena stared at the rings. Without looking at her, Colt reached for the bigger one, slipping it onto his finger.
She swallowed, picked hers up and slid it snugly against the princess-cut diamond already on her finger. She’d been wearing the engagement ring for so long she’d forgotten it was there. Now, however, it felt all wrong, and she wished she’d left it back in D.C. Both bands sat heavy against her skin. She didn’t want either of them, but when Marcy let out a sigh of relief, Lena dropped her hands into her lap, her naked right covering her left.
With a wave of her hand, Marcy pulled over a man with a camera draped across his neck. Lena had wondered when the three-ring circus would start.
“This is Mikhail. He’s going to be the photographer this week. The photo shoot was supposed to be organic, catching a real honeymooning couple as they explored all the resort had to offer. We were hoping to use candid shots. Obviously, that might be a little difficult now.”
“Why do you say that?” Colt asked.
Marcy shot him an incredulous look. “Well, for starters, you’re both sitting as far away from each other as possible without being at separate tables.”
Colt’s lips dipped down into a frown. Lena took in their positions and realized Marcy was right. A hard glint entered Colt’s eyes. Slapping his hand down onto the table, his open palm waited expectantly as he said, “Give me your hand.”
Reluctantly, Lena placed her hand in his. His fingers brushed against the pulse at her wrist, sending it skittering. A warm heat that had nothing to do with the alcohol she’d drunk suffused her skin.
Colt’s eyes changed, going from hard to soft. He pulled their joined hands closer, forcing her to either let go or press her body against the biting edge of the table.
She’d left her hair down and it fell around her face, somehow closing the rest of the restaurant out and training her focus solely on him. Colt leaned forward, meeting her halfway across the table. His tongue licked across his lips, drawing her attention to his mouth. She’d never bothered to study it before. Or maybe it had been intentional avoidance. But since he’d used his mouth against her …
It was sensual, wide. The dip in the center of his top lip flared out in a way that made her want to close the gap between them and suck it into her own mouth.
Something flared in the back of his eyes. An awareness and intensity she’d only ever seen him focus on someone else.
She leaned closer. The candle burning between them flickered with the breeze from their joined breaths.
What was she doing?
Her teeth clinked together and she pulled back. He reluctantly let her hand go. His palm scraped slowly against hers. Her nerve endings pulsed and flared, sending unwanted signals all through her body.
Lena put her hands in her lap and rubbed her palm, trying to stop the ripple effect. It didn’t work. The damage was already done. She blinked, feeling sluggish, disoriented and sorely out of her element.
“Better?” he asked in a low rumbling voice that sent shivers down her spine.
Without thought, Lena nodded, and then realized Colt was no longer looking at her but up at Marcy.
“Uh-huh,” Marcy uttered before clearing her throat and jerking her gaze away. “Mikhail, we’ll try the candid shots tonight.”
Marcy flicked them one more calculating glance before melting away from their table. Lena thought she heard the other woman whisper, “Wine. Lots of wine,” to their sommelier as she passed, but she couldn’t be certain.
Lena looked across at Colt and for the first time in their friendship had no idea what to say. Luckily, the salad course arrived and saved her from having to come up with something.
Her mouth watered at the crisp greens, strawberries, candied nuts and light citrus dressing their waiter placed before her. She was grateful for something to occupy her hands … and her mouth.
But apparently Colt wasn’t as desperate for the distraction. He took a few bites and then set his fork down. Instead of eating, he watched her. Several times she picked up her napkin and blotted her lips for fear that the dressing was dribbling down her chin. She was already on edge and he wasn’t helping any. She was about to tell him to knock it off, but he spoke before her.
“Why did you want to marry Wyn?”
Surprised by his question, she sputtered for a few seconds, unsure what to say. They’d never really talked about her relationship with Wyn before. She didn’t know why, but there was some tacit agreement between them. He didn’t tell her about the women who flitted through his life and she rarely mentioned Wyn when they spoke.
It felt weird to be talking with Colt about him now, but he’d asked. She tried to remember exactly what it was about Wyn that had mattered. Her brain felt fuzzy and the only thing she could come up with was, “Because … he was good to me.”
“Not because you loved him.”
“Of course I loved him,” Lena protested.
Colt shook his head. “I don’t think there’s any ‘of course’ about it. You haven’t even cried.”
“I hate crying in front of people. You know that,” she scoffed, dismissing his statement without really even thinking about it.
“Maybe. But I watched you up on that altar. You were so pale I was worried you might faint. Right up until the minute your cousin objected and then color flooded your cheeks. You were shocked, possibly angry, but that was relief I saw all over your face.”
Lena looked at him, the pleasant buzz that had entered her blood lessening just a little. Was he right?
“You’re upset because things didn’t work out the way you wanted them to. Maybe you’re even embarrassed that it fell apart in front of so many people.” Colt paused. “But you aren’t heartbroken.”
He was wrong. Wasn’t he? “How is heartbroken supposed to look, Colt? Am I supposed to be inconsolable? Sobbing in my bed surrounded by spent tissues? Please. I’ve seen that scene before, more times than I care to count.”
Her tongue felt loose, unhinged. Even as she said the words, she realized she was sharing more with him than she meant to. More than she’d ever said before. To anyone. “Do you know how often I scraped together the pieces of my mother and tried to put them back together? How many times I had to beg and plead with her just to get out of bed? After every man—there were plenty and they all left—she’d spend days, weeks, sometimes months inconsolable and incapable of doing anything. Especially taking care of a child.”
She glared across at him, years of conviction radiating from her eyes. “I refuse to be like her. I will not let a relationship devastate or control me like that. So, yes, I’m upset. Wyn and I were supposed to have a life together. He betrayed me in the worst possible way. With my cousin. Excuse me if I’m not handling the situation the way you expected me to.”
Colt’s eyes were round with shock. His silence slammed down between them and the minute it did Lena regretted her words. It was obvious that he’d gotten way more than he’d bargained for.
Their food hadn’t even arrived, but that didn’t matter. Lena wasn’t hungry anymore. In fact, she needed to get out of there before she said even more. Lena scraped her chair against the stone floor and walked toward the exit.
Colt called her name. The photographer cursed.
She ignored them both.
4
COLT HEARD THE MAN CURSE, too, and couldn’t have agreed more. How was he to know his question would hit a sore spot? They were supposed to be friends, right?
Lena had seen him at his absolute worst. When he’d crashed his car, she’d been the one to sit by him in the hospital. He’d told her things about his life that he’d never shared with anyone else. She’d seen him cry, moan with pain and had supported him even when she thought he was making unwise decisions.
How could there be part of her life he knew nothing about? Why had she never told him how bad her mother had been?
Thinking back on those months she’d lived next door, he realized they’d rarely gone to her house. When he’d asked, she’d almost always had an excuse. Sure, he’d only been ten, but why hadn’t he picked up on that? And why, in all the times that they’d talked since then, had she not shared her pain? Heaven knew he’d dumped plenty of his own worries on her small, capable shoulders.
The table teetered, silverware, china and glass clinking ominously, as he bolted after her.
Tropical heat and guilt slapped him in the face as he pushed outside. Colt ripped at the buttons on his shirt, trying to release the noose that had apparently slipped around his throat.
He found her halfway across the resort, standing alone on the deserted beach. Moonlight streamed over her, making her look fragile. Her body curved in on itself, her arms hugging her waist. She shouldn’t be sad. Not here. Not because of him. This was a place for fun and adventure. For laughter and the excitement of discovering something new.
He touched her arm, and she turned around, looking up at him with sad eyes that glistened with unshed tears. Another shock of guilt kicked through his system.
He hadn’t meant to make her cry.
With a sigh, Colt gathered her into his arms and pulled her tight against him. Something deep inside him stirred at the press of her soft curves into his hard body. He ignored it.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered into the crown of her hair.
Her body was stiff, her muscles tight. After several minutes, she relaxed. The emotion that had been swirling within her subsided, he could feel it slip away.
Melting into him, Lena let him take the weight of her body. His own muscles relaxed, the tension that had whipped through him easing as he realized she wouldn’t hold his careless comments against him.
After several minutes she pulled away and Colt let her. She looked up at him again, calm and collected, the Lena he recognized and remembered. He was glad to see the sadness gone.
“It’s not your fault,” she said.
“Maybe not, but I didn’t help.”
Lena’s lips twisted. “No, but I can’t fault you for telling the truth. I knew something was wrong. Deep down, I knew. I just didn’t want to admit it. Everyone was so excited. Jealous. Everyone told me how perfect Wyn was. What a wonderful husband he’d be. How lucky I was to find a great man who just happened to be heir to a fortune.”
“But it didn’t feel right.”
Lena turned away. Reaching down, she flicked off the sandals protecting her feet. They fell to the sand with a muted plop. She walked a few steps barefoot. Colt did the same, letting his own shoes topple crookedly beside hers.
The sound of crashing waves shushed gently between them. In the distance Colt could hear the rumblings of laughter and dance music from somewhere on the island. Sometimes, like now, it was hard to remember they weren’t the only people here.
“It felt right at first,” she finally responded. “Wyn was sweet. We worked together for at least six months before he asked me out. I’d look up from my notes during company meetings to find him watching me instead of paying attention.”
“You don’t have to toe the line when daddy’s in charge.”
Lena reached over and shoved him. The unexpected reaction had him teetering sideways for a moment before regaining his balance.
“That isn’t nice, Colt. Wyn’s very good at his job.”
“Yeah, so good he managed to weasel his way into a free vacation with a client.”
“I was flattered.”
“You were hunted, like a lion stalks an antelope. I only met the man a few times, but it was enough to realize he was charming and focused and untrustworthy.”
Lena twisted, the heel of her foot grinding into the sand with the force of her motion. “Why the hell didn’t you say anything?”
“Because it wasn’t my place.” Colt had thought about it, once, but realized he had nothing to back up his gut instinct. “I thought maybe you’d just think I was being overprotective. Playing the big-brother card or something.”
A strangled sound that could have been anything from incredulity to embarrassment burst from Lena’s mouth. “You’re hardly my big brother.”
“True. You were serious about Wyn though, and I figured he must have some qualities I couldn’t see. If he’d loved you, I could have lived with it.”
“But, obviously, he didn’t.”
The question he still had was whether she’d ever loved Wyn. Colt didn’t think so, but he wasn’t going to make the same mistake twice, so he wouldn’t ask again.
“So, yes, in the beginning it felt right. And by the time it didn’t I was in too deep. The wedding was months away and I convinced myself that it was just jitters.”
Silence stretched between them. Colt had no idea what the right response was and he was afraid to say the wrong thing again.
After a few minutes Lena said, “Jeez, we’re a pair. I stay in a relationship I shouldn’t, and you can’t stay in one more than five minutes.”
“Hey, I last a hell of a lot longer than five minutes,” he joked. “But I don’t want to have a relationship longer than two weeks,” he argued. “Too much work. Besides, I like variety in my life.”
Lena grimaced. “So try a different cereal in the morning. Seriously, Colt, you need to grow up.”
“When did this turn into a discussion of my shortcomings?”
“I like talking about yours better than analyzing mine.”
