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‘You’re right. Let’s go to Canada.’
‘What, forever?’
‘Yes,’ he said. ‘Let’s go to Canada forever.’
She pushed him lightly. ‘Boy, you’ll say anything right now, won’t you?’
He smiled. ‘Anything.’ He was lying sideways, propping himself up on his elbow. He blew on her face again and then kissed it.
Kristina wondered about Conni. What was Albert going to tell her?
‘Canada, huh? Albert,’ Kristina said, ‘why Canada? Seems far away.’
‘The farther the better,’ he said. ‘Tell me you don’t want to go.’
‘I didn’t say that,’ she said cautiously, thinking.
‘Let’s go,’ he beseeched her. ‘We’ve got the money - you said so yourself. There’s nothing stopping us.’
She wanted to ask Albert about his imminent engagement to Conni. How are you going to take me to Canada and get engaged to her at the same time? she wanted to ask.
Albert poked her gently. ‘Well?’
‘And when this money is gone, then what?’
‘Then nothing. Then we’ll get more money,’ he said.
‘From where?’
Albert pulled away from her and stared at the ceiling.
‘Howard and I are now officially divorced,’ Kristina said. ‘Grandma is dead.’
‘There must be some money tucked away somewhere,’ said Albert.
‘What are you talking about?’ Kristina said, a little shrilly. ‘There’s no money, I’m telling you.’
‘So? We’ll get jobs. We’ll have money.’
Smirking, Kristina said, ‘You’re gonna get a job, Albert?’
‘Sure, why not?’ He put his hands behind his head. ‘I’ll try anything once.’
Now Kristina lay on her side, propped up by her elbow, and stared into his face. She wanted to tell him about the money, but she was just waiting for the right time. When he was married to Conni, maybe. She smiled at her own little joke.
‘What’s so funny?’ he asked.
‘Nothing, nothing,’ she quickly said. This was not a good time.
‘Rocky? If I break up with Conni, will you break up with Jim?’
Oh, not this again. She wanted to say, break up with Conni? Is that before or after you get engaged? But she didn’t.
‘Albert, please,’ she said. ‘Please.’
He gritted his teeth. ‘I just don’t know about that Jim of yours.’
Getting defensive, Kristina said, ‘Why, because he’s a nice guy? Because he treats me well?’
‘Because having sex with you is against his religion.’ Albert said meanly. ‘Some relationship.’
‘Well, I didn’t know he didn’t like to have sex when I started going out with him, did I?’
Staring passionately at her, Albert said, ‘No, Rocky, not just not like to have sex. Not like to have sex with you.’
‘But it’s easier for you this way, isn’t it?’
‘Yes,’ Albert said instantly. ‘At first I couldn’t stand the thought of him touching you.’ He paused. ‘Of anybody touching you.’
‘Well, how do you think I feel about you and Conni?’ Kristina said. They fell silent. Kristina was thinking about Thanksgiving. To be with him. Not to be alone. Not to be with Jim or with Conni or with Howard, or alone, but with him, far away - in Canada.
‘We don’t have to go anywhere,’ Albert said. ‘The ten grand, the ten thousand goddamn dollars we have. We could save it.’
‘We could,’ she said tentatively.
‘Yeah. We never have any money.’ He pulled away farther.
‘I never have any money.’
‘What do you need money for?’ Kristina asked. ‘Conni always pays for everything.’
‘Not just Conni, dear Rocky,’ said Albert, staring at her in the night light. ‘Not just her.’
And then they slept together in her room, naked on her narrow bed.
CHAPTER TWO (#ulink_07439ea5-e147-5742-ae1a-3582f5846ecf)
Monday (#ulink_07439ea5-e147-5742-ae1a-3582f5846ecf)
Kristina rushed to get ready for her seven-forty-five Modern Christian Thought class. To save time, she put on the same clothes she’d worn on Sunday.
Albert was sitting on the bed, next to Aristotle spread out on his back.
‘Get him off,’ Kristina said. ‘His hair gets on everything.’
Albert didn’t touch the dog. ‘His hair is already on everything.’
‘Albert!’ she said, raising her voice. ‘Aristotle! Down!’
The dog got down sheepishly. He knew he wasn’t supposed to be on the bed.
Sitting next to Albert, Kristina rubbed his leg. ‘What are you going to tell Conni?’
He looked sullen. His black eyes were sunken in his face, as they always were after a night of little sleep. His pale face with huge black eyes made him look slightly cadaverous.
‘Don’t worry,’ he said. ‘I’ll think of something.’
Kristina, unsmiling inside or out, said, ‘I’m sure you will. Tell her you fell asleep in your room.’
‘Rocky, you’ll never make a convincing liar. What, and didn’t hear her make a public nuisance of herself? Yeah, good.’
Kristina looked outside into the blue post-dawn darkness. It looked very cold. She felt bad for Conni, standing outside their door, banging, fearing the worst, being lied to.
Albert said, ‘I’m going to tell her you hadn’t walked Aristotle and I went to walk him. I’ll tell her I went through the woods to Frankie’s and was so tired I fell asleep there.’
‘What if she called Frankie?’
‘Frankie doesn’t pick up his phone after midnight.’
‘What if she went to see Frankie?’
‘She didn’t. She wouldn’t.’
‘Well, aren’t you going to have to inform Frankie of your little plan?’
‘Yeah, it’s not a problem.’
‘Oh, I see. Frankie is a stooge for you, isn’t he?’
‘Not a stooge, just my friend,’ Albert said, getting up off the bed and eyeing her grimly. ‘What’s gotten into you?’
Kristina shook her head, feeling worse and worse. ‘Nothing, I just…’ What had happened to starting over? Starting a new life? Hadn’t she been beginning to do that yesterday? Wasn’t that what she had told herself?
‘Conni will believe it, you’ll see.’ Albert took Aristotle’s leash and fitted it over the dog’s head. ‘Remember, she wants to believe it. Why would she want to hear the truth? What’s she going to do with the truth? That’s the most important thing to remember. All I have to do is let her believe what she wants to believe in the first place. It’s that simple.’
Getting off the bed, Kristina said bleakly, ‘Is it that simple? It’s really the dumbest excuse.’
He shrugged. ‘So think of a better one.’
Picking up her books off the table, Kristina said, ‘We can’t do this, Albert. I can’t do this.’
He came to her. ‘You say that now…’ he drawled suggestively, running his free hand over her back.
‘I mean it.’ She pushed him off her. ‘I just - I can’t do this anymore. I’m starting to hate myself, and -’ She broke off.
‘And what?’
‘Nothing.’
‘And? You’re starting to hate me?’
‘I didn’t say that.’
‘You didn’t have to.’ His black eyes blazed. She backed off, not used to seeing his rare temper.
“I gotta go,’ Kristina said.
He shrugged. ‘Where’s your coat?’
‘Fahrenbrae.’
‘Ahhh,’ said Albert. ‘So take my jacket.’
‘What about you?’
‘I’ve got two.’ He unlocked her door and peeked outside. ‘All clear,’ he whispered and walked quickly down the hall to his room. She followed him.
‘I can’t take your jacket,’ Kristina said. ‘Jim or Conni is going to see me wearing it, and what am I supposed to say then?’
‘Make up something clever.’
‘Yeah? Oh, I left my coat up at this place Albert and I shack up at, and then he let me borrow his.’
‘No, something cleverer than that.’
She sighed deeply. ‘I’ll see you, Albert.’
He studied her for a moment. ‘I’ll see you tonight,’ he said, handing her his brown leather jacket. She shook her head and backed away toward the glass doors that led to the side stairs.
‘Rock,’ Albert called after her, almost as an afterthought. ‘Happy birthday.’
She nodded, unsmiling.
‘Will you at least think about Canada?’ he asked her.
Shaking her head in disbelief, Kristina smiled ruefully at him.
The glass door slammed shut behind her.
After her last class, Kristina had basketball practice, then showered and went to her car. Her long hair was still wet when she got in and started up the car. The Mustang coughed and spluttered for a few moments.
Nice car, she thought, trying to goad it on. Come on, come on, nice, dear, sweet car. I’m gonna take care of you when you get sick. You’re my friend. You’re nice, come on. And then the engine finally began to run smoothly. Kristina closed her eyes, thank God. You piece-of-shit car.
Someone knocked loudly on her window. Kristina opened her eyes. Conni stepped back, her arms folded.
Oh, no, Kristina thought, rolling the window partway down.
‘Hi, Conn, what’s up?’ she said. ‘I’m late.’
