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LAURENCE STERNE
1713–1768
WHEN YOU ARE FACED with aggressive behaviour, back down and try to remain calm. It can be a very frightening experience. I have seen calm personalities explode and become aggressive when they have been pushed by unwarranted behaviour in others. Everyone has the capacity for becoming aggressive – it is there within us all, because we need to defend ourselves when physically attacked.
Self-discipline is the only way to keep this emotion under control, and the best way to do this is to explode on paper. As the thoughts come into your head, write them down, and keep writing until you are sick of the subject or personality you are attacking. Get it out of your system, because if you keep it there it will rear its ugly head at the most inopportune time.
If you happen to receive a letter written in anger, don’t take it to heart. Allow the author a few weeks to calm down. Given time, they will probably regret having sent it.
Remember, we are only human, and we all have our failings. Forgive.
Visualisation: You are sitting with a friend enjoying a relaxed conversation and a stranger nearby joins in the conversation. Annoyed at this intrusion you begin to feel aggressive. At this point visualise a plastic balloon inside your stomach, filling with air. Take a needle and prick the balloon before the hot air causes an explosion, injuring all those around you.
Affirmation: Burst the bubble and stay out of trouble.
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Anger (#ulink_2e065958-7215-5582-9f18-0f443741d4a6)
Anger is a short madness.
HORACE
65–8 BC
LIKE A FIERY FLAME, anger begins in the pit of the stomach and within a few minutes pervades the whole of your body. It is only when you find yourself holding your head in pain that you realise what an impact it is making on your mind. It is at this point that you must make a decision. Are you going to let this unbelievable surge of adrenaline ruin your life and possibly that of everyone around you? Or are you going to allow discipline and logic to take over and channel your negative energies into something constructive?
You will not often have the amount of adrenaline that comes with anger at your disposal, so for starters, use it to get some of the lousy jobs that are part of your everyday life out of the way. If you have a car, wash and polish it instead of leaving it to someone else. If the house needs cleaning, get to it. Or walk the dogs that extra mile – they will love it and you will feel better. If you have no car, house or dogs, use your imagination and get rid of that first power surge somehow, for that is when really bad things can happen. Or you can try the following exercise.
Visualisation: Give yourself up to the moment. Picture a fiery red door. Open it. You find yourself in a large empty warehouse. Suddenly, the image changes and there is carnage all around you. You watch with horror as the debris silently slips into an abyss and you feel a force drawing you towards that abyss. This is decision time. Have you the strength and discipline to turn around and walk away? To return to sanity? If you have, you will find – perhaps for the first time – an inner peace which will support you throughout your life. If you cannot turn back, life will remain difficult until you find the strength to do so.
Affirmation: The anger will not consume me.
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Anxiety (#ulink_b2b35c3b-fdd0-5337-9f36-2121473a4071)
When you’re lying awake with a dismal headache, and repose is taboo’d by anxiety,
I conceive you may use any language you choose to indulge in, without impropriety.
W. S. GILBERT
1836–1911
FOR SOME PEOPLE, being in a state of permanent anxiety is the norm. Even when there is nothing specific to feel uneasy about, they imagine that something is missing from their lives. Having never experienced peace of mind, it becomes extremely difficult for them to dislodge such a long-standing habit.
Anxiety is a habit you cannot afford. It takes away the ability to see clearly and you make mistakes. However, minds that are fully occupied don’t have the time to indulge in anxiety and are usually healthier for it.
Through healing, I have been able to cure this all too common habit, many times, only to see it return as soon as the voice of reassurance becomes unavailable. If you are serving a life sentence because of this problem, make time every day to practise the following exercise.
Visualisation: You find yourself walking down a corridor of closed doors. As you reach the doors they swing open. Anxious and fearful, you try to turn back, and then you hear a voice saying, ‘Don’t be afraid. I will walk with you.’ You have a feeling of total peace and you walk on.
The first door swings open. You look inside – the room is empty. Leaving the door open, you move to the second door and open it, revealing a room full of sunlight. You open the third door and find a group of people meditating. The door to the fourth room reveals nothing more than three people in earnest conversation. But as the fifth door opens you come face to face with four miserable individuals. The negativity they radiate is so strong that you hurriedly close the door behind you. You know, without a shadow of doubt, that you do not want to join the unhappy people in the last room.
As you can see, most of the fears you had were unfounded. Those that weren’t can be shut out of your life whenever they unnerve you.
There will be many doors in your life that will need to be investigated. But in the end the choice of leaving those particular doors open or closed will be yours.
Affirmation: Anxiety is counterproductive – I don’t need it.
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Bitterness (#ulink_64014635-fc04-509c-8154-cc28a0d293a9)
Teach us delight in simple things, And mirth that has no bitter springs; Forgiveness free of evil done, And love to all men ’neath the sun!
RUDYARD KIPLING
1865–1936
AT SOME TIME OR ANOTHER, everyone will feel the acidity of bitterness burning into their soul. It is a difficult emotion to deal with. When this happens, memories invade the privacy of your thoughts at all hours of the day and night, and the pain never seems to go away. It does not really matter whether the memories are true or false. They are there, and you have to get rid of them.
Try this exercise. Take a pen and paper and write everything down as it comes into your head, and continue to write until you feel hollow inside and completely washed out. When you have finished, DO NOT READ IT THROUGH – otherwise you will simply be feeding it back into your mind.
Find an old tin – deep biscuit tins are the best – place your notes in the tin and then put it into the sink where it will be safe. Put a match to the paper and watch it burn, knowing that as it does so your bitter thoughts will be reduced to ashes.
Keep repeating this exercise until you feel cleansed. Because at some time you just have to face the world again. It is called SURVIVAL.
Visualisation: Sit down and close your eyes. You are in a garden and can hear the most beautiful music flowing through your mind, embracing your soul. You get up and start walking through the garden to find the source of the music, but it begins to fade. Then a voice says, ‘When you are cleansed of all the bitterness, only then will you hear the full glory of the music.’
Affirmation: Bitterness sears the soul.
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Blessings (#ulink_7a3dde30-9e8e-50f4-991d-ab70ff9febba)
Look to your health; and if you have it, praise God, and value it next to a good conscience; for health is the second blessing that we mortals are capable of; a blessing that money cannot buy.
IZAAK WALTON
1593–1683
ALTHOUGH HEALTH IS OF PRIME IMPORTANCE in our lives, there are hundreds of small blessings that bring happiness into our everyday existence, and it is very comforting to remember these. Perhaps that is why you have turned to this page. But you may be reading this because you are having a bad day. If so, take a few minutes to run through the following visualisation.
Visualisation: You begin to think about the small things that have made your life bearable. They might be recent or from many years ago. As each memory comes to life you will feel rejuvenated as the original pleasure that it gave you pulses through your being. Memories are real – they can never die.
Affirmation: Life itself is a blessing.
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Books (#ulink_fe658f6f-3a84-5ac4-a8c9-6148434c95b4)
True ease in writing comes from art, not chance, As those move easiest who have learn’d to dance. ’Tis not enough no harshness gives offence, The sound must seem an echo to the sense.
ALEXANDER POPE
1688–1744
MY LOVE AFFAIR WITH BOOKS began when I visited a public library for the first time. I must have been about three years old because I could only reach the books on the lower shelves. I clearly remember the dilemma caused by the fact that I could only borrow two books at a time. I wanted to take them all.
To achieve anything in this life we have to read books, whether it is for business or pleasure. The difficulty when buying a book is to make the right choice, especially when money is short. Even when you know what kind of book you want, a mistake can be costly, especially when there is a choice of authors in a particular field. That is why the following exercise is so useful.
Visualisation: You are standing in a book store studying the titles and authors that are of interest to you. Running your hand over all the books, you suddenly remove one from the shelf and open it up. You may wonder why you have chosen that particular volume. It is because the soul of the author is in the energy of the book and will remain no matter how many times it is reprinted. Your hand, acting as a tool, has located a soul mate. Although you were unaware of it, you were practising psychometry, reaching out with your mind and connecting with psychic energy through touch.
Always hold a book for some time before buying. Your instincts will do the rest.
Affirmation: Feel the vibes before buying.
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Burdens (#ulink_196dbfb5-0fc5-5ebc-bb42-7d995255ae5d)
With aching hands and bleeding feet We dig and heap, lay stone on stone; We bear the burden and the heat Of the long day, and wish ’t were done. Not till the hours of light return, All we have built do we discern.
MATTHEW ARNOLD
1822–1888
BURDENS OF ANY KIND can cause havoc with your lifestyle, and particularly with your health. Although the mind and body can take an enormous amount of pressure, everyone has their breaking point. The art of dealing with any burden is to despatch it as quickly as possible.
Visualisation: You find yourself sitting on the top of a mountain. You are surrounded by many boxes. Looking up at the clear blue sky, you hear a voice calling your name. Then, a figure in white appears before you. ‘Give me your burdens and I will deal with them,’ he says. You gesture to the boxes, and the apparition smiles. ‘I can see clearly now why you are so unhappy.’ He claps his hands and the boxes disappear. ‘They have now been dealt with,’ he tells you. ‘Walk tall, do not let burdens break your spirit. Let me carry them for you.’ He touches your hand. ‘Go! Live your life to the full. Surround yourself with friends and fill your life with laughter, for I will be with you always.’
Affirmation: I do not have to walk this path alone.
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Career (#ulink_78b92c64-a56f-5378-ab99-f54621abe4a7)
Weary with toil, I haste me to my bed, The dear repose for limbs with travel tired; But then begins a journey in my head To work my mind, when body’s work’s expired.
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE
1564–1616
TO BE SUCCESSFUL IN A CHOSEN CAREER is invigorating and exciting. Every day is a challenge. But no matter how successful you may be, it is always wise to be aware of the pitfalls. Be mindful of your health at all times, for without it your success will disappear overnight. Remember too that, whatever you give out will come back tenfold. Hold on to your integrity, for without it you are nothing. Good luck!
Visualisation: You are in a room full of people. You see that those to the right face you with smiles and come forward to greet you. Look left, and the faces are bitter with hate and resentment. They cause you anguish. Make a promise to yourself that next time you enter the room there will be more people on the right than the left. Aim one day to be able to do this exercise one last time and find the left side of the room to be an empty space.
Affirmation: Success is nothing without friends.
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Carefree (#ulink_6011f2df-d49a-56b4-a1c6-440063501674)
The learn’d is happy nature to explore, The fool is happy that he knows no more.
ALEXANDER POPE
1688–1744
IT IS VERY DIFFICULT TO BE CAREFREE all the time. But you must and the time, on a regular basis, to indulge in this most exhilarating pastime. It is essential for your health. Once you have experienced the freedom and the sense of belonging to nature, I guarantee you will become hooked. Years of being worn down with pressure and responsibility will vanish. Your body will feel feather-light as you move around and your mind will become clear, enabling you to see – perhaps for the first time in your life – the real beauty of colour. If you find it difficult to become carefree, read on.
Visualisation: Finding yourself in the middle of a forest, you become increasingly uneasy as you find one path after another blocked by masses of tangled brambles. You are lost and cannot retrace your steps. Cold and weary, you sit down on the damp peat ground, first hugging your knees, then curling into the foetal position.
Then you hear a voice saying, ‘Your body may be imprisoned by gravity, but your mind is not.’ A white cloud dances around your head. ‘You see,’ the voice says, ‘that is your mind, which can be released from the body with a single thought. Follow it.’ Springing to your feet you follow the cloud, and as you do so the brambles disappear. It is only then that you realise that the brambles were an obstacle you had manifested yourself.
Affirmation: Everything is possible.
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Carers (#ulink_d17ba2bb-b6d4-5c28-ac16-1e9a39ed50b2)
Life may change, but it may fly not; Hope may vanish, but can die not; Truth be veiled, but still it burneth; Love repulsed, – but it returneth!
PERCY BYSSHE SHELLEY
1792–1822
CARERS SEEM TO BE the least thought about section of society. Yet the job of caring is usually thrust upon individuals when they themselves are at their lowest ebb. Old age is one factor – if the patient is a partner or a member of the family, the carer is usually pressurised into believing that it is their duty to take on the burden of becoming nurse/housekeeper. When a fairly healthv person is put under this pressure, their own health will also suffer, no matter how much they may love the patient.
If you are a carer, please seek help from local societies and authorities. There may be someone who would be prepared to sit in for you occasionally. You might even be able to share the load a little more with other members of your family – don’t be afraid to ask for support. You must have some space to yourself on a regular basis. Practising the visualisation exercise every day will help you.
If you are reading this and you are not a carer, but can find some time to spare – even if only a couple of hours a week – ask around your particular area and see if you can help.
Visualisation: Feel the sand between your toes as you walk along a deserted beach. Peace flows through your mind and body as the waves break along the shore, lulling you into a trance-like state. You feel light as the weight of responsibility is lifted with your spirits. This is your space – no one else can enter. Make good use of it.
Affirmation: I shall use my space every day.
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Caressing (#ulink_3e7a740b-97d5-54be-a443-3ae42cb6a383)
Affection shown by a gentle touch, Can still a troubled mind.
BETTY SHINE
THERE IS NOTHING quite like a gentle caress to soothe a troubled mind, especially when it is done with love. Babies thrive on touch, and throughout our lives we long for it.
