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“Yes, ma’am.” He pushed the buzzer so she could enter the building and hobbled into the bathroom, where he splashed water on his face, combed his dirty hair, cringing at the coarse stubble on his face, and reapplied deodorant, ashamed of how he’d let himself go. That done, he hesitated in the doorway, wondering if he could make it into the bedroom for a clean shirt before she got to his door. He was still slow moving, slower than he thought he should be by now, and didn’t want to keep her waiting.
Jameson glanced down. Oh, man. Food stains. Clean shirt was a good idea.
In the bedroom, he’d barely gotten his old one off before the knock came, brisk and no-nonsense, four rapid taps.
Hurry. He yanked the new shirt over his head, part of his physical training uniform, and made it back as fast as he could. Bad sign, this continued pain. He tried not to think about it or what it could mean about the success—or not—of the surgery. Not to mention his chances of staying in the Air Force. Maybe he’d just gone overboard on his home exercises that morning.
“Coming.” He reached the door and opened it.
Holy moly, Kendra Lonergan.
No, this couldn’t be the same woman.
“Hi, Jameson.”
He blinked. The voice was the same. It was her. “What happened to ‘Lieutenant’?”
“Doesn’t suit you.” She stared unapologetically with green eyes he didn’t remember being so big or so beautiful. She was also taller. Or at least thinner. And without glasses. Instead of the short ginger hair that looked as if her mother had cut it, she’d pulled back a long mass of auburn waves into a casual ponytail. In place of the drab succession of stretch pants and long shirts, she wore a short flowery skirt under layered tops in bright colors.
Kendra Lonergan was a knockout. And definitely not in any branch of the military.
“You look...different.” He hid a wince. Could he say anything more inane?
“Huh.” She looked him up and down. “So do you.”
Yeah, well, tough. It was unfamiliar and extremely unpleasant to be ambushed like this. He’d been raised to be ready for anything at any time. “What are you doing here? How did you know where I was?”
“Dr. Kornish sent me. I told you.”
He narrowed his eyes. “What for? What’s your connection to him?”
“May I come in?”
“Why?”
“So I can look around. See how you live, how you’re doing.” With a flourish she produced a clipboard and a pen from an immense purse that seemed to be made of patches of brightly dyed leathers. “So I can report back.”
“To my doctor...”
“Kornish, yes,” she answered patiently, peering past him. He moved back as she stepped in, to avoid her getting too close. He was not at his best smelling.
“Why doesn’t he ask me how I’m doing?”
“Because he’d rather hear it from me.” She walked through the dining area to the center of the living room, turning in a slow circle, taking in the TV, the rumpled couch and the state of the coffee table, which made it clear he’d been camped out in this room for quite some time. “Nice place. You own it?”
“I’m house-sitting for a friend. Why does he trust you?”
“I’m a professional.” She made some notes on her clipboard and moved toward the kitchen.
“Professional what?” He hobbled after her, trying not to stare at the way the flimsy material of her skirt clung to her very fine rear end.
“I help people recover.” She peered into the sink at the pile of dirty dishes. Okay, he wasn’t at his best. It was none of her business.
“If you’re not a doctor...”
Kendra turned back toward him. “I’m not here for your physical recovery.”
“No?” He was immediately hit with an image of her helping him with his sexual recovery, which irritated him even more. “What, then? Spiritual recovery?”
“Something like that.” She moved past him, toward his bedroom. He followed, hoping she didn’t do more than glance at the bathroom. It was not pretty.
“My spiritual views are private.”
“Nothing to do with religion.” She stopped at the bedroom door, flicked him a glance and went inside. Jameson hadn’t open the blinds yet. Or made his bed. Or picked up his dirty underwear. Well, she’d invited herself in. He owed her nothing. Though he wasn’t wild about a description of this mess going into some report.
This was so effed up. “I wasn’t expecting you.”
“I called. You didn’t answer the phone.” She left his bedroom to glance into the master bedroom, still gleamingly neat because Jameson hadn’t set foot in it.
“I didn’t want to talk to anybody.” He followed her back into the living room, feeling like a damn puppy now, more and more annoyed.
“Hmm.” She planted herself on the black leather chair next to the sofa, looking as if she was going to stay awhile. “That’s a problem.”
“Why?”
“Because you have to talk to me.” She consulted her clipboard. “First tell me how you’re feeling.”
He folded his arms across his chest. “If this is therapy crap, I’m not interested.”
“Just checking in.” She smiled too sweetly, green eyes sparkling. It occurred to him he’d never seen her smile at him. Not that this was a real smile. But damn, it lit up the room even so. “Can I have some water, Jameson?”
“Tell me exactly what you are doing here, what you—”
“Oh, sorry, your knee. I forgot. I’ll get it.”
“Get what?”
“Water.”
Right. He stared after her as she disappeared into his kitchen, keeping his eyes resolutely on the back of her head this time. What the hell? Was she deaf? Crazy?
He made a sound of frustration. No, she wasn’t crazy. She was Kendra, as she’d always been, totally sure of herself and incredibly determined. She’d driven him nuts all the way from elementary school through their senior year, simply because he’d never been able to rattle her. Apparently nothing had changed.
Moving carefully, he maneuvered himself onto the big chair she’d left—staking his claim, yeah, but it was also easier on his knee to sit there.
“Now.” She came back with the water, stopped to peer at a picture of Mike in uniform with his arm around his wife, Pat, then plopped down onto the couch and drank. Jameson found himself staring at her rosy lips on the glass’s rim, the glimpse of white teeth, the pale column of her throat working as she swallowed. Kendra Lonergan was in his apartment, looking like temptation itself. Kendra Lonergan. His brain refused to process it.
Finished, she put the glass down between a coffee mug from four days ago and a plastic tray from a fairly disgusting frozen dinner two nights earlier. She lifted the top page of her clipboard and peered at the sheet underneath.
“I would imagine you’re feeling pretty horrible about all this. A big change, not part of your plan at all.” Her voice was gentle, concerned. “A threat to everything you’ve worked for your whole life—a career as an officer in the Air Force.”
Her compassion pissed him off even more, because it was so tempting to start whining like a baby. “No, no, this is the greatest.”
“Uh-huh.” Kendra didn’t blink. “You’re obviously still in pain.”
“Nah.”
“You sleeping okay?”
“Never better.”
“How is your appetite?”
“Outstanding.”
“Any weight gain or loss?”
“Neither.”
“Energy level?”
“High.”
“Sexual function?”
“Hey.” He glared at her, wondering what she’d been scribbling on her sheet. “None of your business.”
“Okay.” She scrawled again.
“Are we done yet?”
Kendra lifted the clipboard to read. “Subject is exhibiting clear signs of depression, including sleeplessness, minimal appetite, weight loss and lethargy.”
Right on all counts. How the hell did she know?
“He is also impotent.”
Jameson bristled. “I am not impotent.”
“Don’t worry.” She turned that sweet grin on him. This time she was really smiling. It made him want to smile back. Or growl at her. Or kiss her. “I won’t tell.”
“Kendra...”
“Teasing.” Her smile grew wider. “I didn’t really write that you were.”
“You—” She’d gotten him. Fair game. “Is part of your treatment plan to make me want to toss you off my balcony?”
“If necessary.” She capped her pen and tucked it back into the top of the clipboard. “How is your family reacting to your disability?”
“Fine.”
“How is your dad reacting to your disability?”
He felt a rush of anger, first at his dad, then at her. She had no right to question him about any of this. “Dad supports me no matter what.”
She held his gaze for a moment, then nodded slowly. “That’s what I thought.”
Jameson swallowed. He felt a loss, almost a betrayal, as if he assumed she’d be able to see through that lie, too, and offer him—
What? A widdle huggy-wuggums?
For God’s sake, get a grip, airman.
“How are your brothers coping with your—”
“Disability. They are also very happy for me.” His knee was throbbing. He took hold of his thigh with both hands and swung the leg up to rest on the pile of Mike’s GQ magazines he’d arranged so he could elevate his injury. “I mean they are also supportive. At all times.”
“I remember that about your brothers.”
Her tone was quiet, but he sensed the steel in it. A pang of guilt lessened his anger. Kendra knew Mark and Hayden. For years he’d been their puppet, admiring their dadlike toughness and what he’d perceived then as leadership. In college ROTC and basic training he’d learned that a true leader inspired and respected his men. That’s the kind of leader Jameson wanted to be in the Air Force. A new kind of Cartwright.
But it looked as if he bloody well wouldn’t get the chance for nearly another year. Possibly not at all.
He shifted in frustration, causing a landslide in the pile of magazines under his foot. His leg fell, twisting, onto the table with a thud that shot pain from his knee to his hip.
He was dimly aware of Kendra running from the room. She was back beside him so quickly he wondered if he’d blacked out.
“Here you go. This should help.” He felt the chill of a cold pack over his knee, then through the lingering haze of pain, the blessed cool of a wet cloth across his forehead and a warm hand on his shoulder. “Should I call someone? Can I get you meds?”
He shook his head, which was clearing rapidly at her touch. He didn’t need baby nursing. “I’m fine.”
“Oh, yeah, I can tell. You’re in perfect shape.” Her voice was exasperated. “Here. Let me at least do this.”
She sat on the coffee table and gently lifted his leg into her lap, somehow managing not to hurt him or disturb the cold pack.
“What are you doing?” He was unnecessarily snappy from the pain and oddly panicky for some other reason he couldn’t identify.
“I’m going to aim karate chops at your knee until you tell me the location of the missing computer chip.”
What the—
She didn’t, of course. He didn’t expect her to. But he also didn’t expect what she did do. Carefully but firmly, she began to massage his feet through his socks, which, thank God, were clean that morning.
Her touch was magical, finding and tending to places in his toes, the arch of his foot, his heel, places he didn’t realize were in such desperate need of attention. Slowly, the tension and pain in his body started to ease, began to be replaced by relaxation and pleasure.
Wait, what the hell was he doing letting Kendra Lonergan touch his feet?
“Uh, yeah, thanks, that’s fine. I’m fine.”
