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She took another deep breath. “I know. But that wasn’t enough for me, and you knew it when we got married.”
“But then you didn’t come back. You didn’t tell me where you were. You just disappeared.”
“That wasn’t the original plan,” she said, pacing because she couldn’t bear to stand still. “I just needed a few days to think and make some kind of decision. But then I discovered I was pregnant, and after our argument I didn’t know how to go home.”
“You could have driven down our road. That would have been a start.”
“And presented you with the one thing you made it clear you didn’t want?”
“I can’t believe this. I am not your father. I am not the kind of man who turns his back when things don’t go his way. You know that.” He narrowed his eyes again. “You didn’t think I could change, did you?”
She stared at him a second, then she nodded. “That’s not exactly true. I just knew if I came back pregnant you’d have to change, so I couldn’t trust that the change would be real.”
He rubbed his jaw as he stared at her, another gesture imprinted on her heart. “I seem to be in a no-win situation. All I really know for sure is you should have talked to me. I didn’t know if you were alive or dead.”
“I’m sorry about that, I truly am. I took the chicken way out.”
“When my detective reported someone else was using your car and identification, what was I supposed—”
He continued on but she couldn’t hear him over the roar in her ears. He’d hired a detective to find her? Of course—how else would he have found out about Emma Kruger? The news that he hadn’t sat on his pride ’til hell froze over as his father would have done came as a shock, and on top of all the other shocks of the week she felt her knees buckle.
And then his hands were under her elbows, supporting her, and his eyes showed concern. “Maybe you should sit down—”
“Maybe you should leave,” she said, stepping away from him, holding on to the back of a chair, unwilling to sit.
The silence stretched on until he took a deep, shuddering breath. “Come home with me now, Cassie. Let me help you through the next couple of months.”
“I know you want to help, but don’t you understand? I don’t want to raise a family with someone who resents me. I don’t want this baby to be my mistake and your burden. He or she deserves so much more.”
She turned away from him to give her eyes a rest. Looking at him was agony. To love him, to want him, and yet to know he didn’t really want the very center of her heart, the essence of her life…
Had she always wanted things Cody couldn’t give? Had she always been blinded by her own feelings?
“I don’t know what else to say,” he murmured.
“You’ve already said everything,” she said, turning back to face him. “It’s funny, I guess. I dreamed of the moment you would find me so many times. That you would hold me in your arms and beg me to come back, thrilled I was carrying your child. But you aren’t asking me to come back to you; you’re telling me I’m an obligation. You want me to come back so you’ll feel better, not because it’s what’s best for us.”
His gaze turned stormy. “I thought a lot about this moment, too, Cassie, and in my dreams you weren’t wanted for murder while holding our unborn child hostage to my inability to react exactly how you rehearsed it.”
She started to protest and stopped. Is that what she was doing? Her head began to pound.
“Face it. You’ve gotten yourself into a real mess. You can’t stay here.”
He was right. That was the crux of the problem. Not the baby, not their marriage or their future, but the murder of an old woman and all the events that came afterward.
“Why would Banner say you took jewelry if you didn’t?” Cody added. “He must have known you’d contradict him.”
“He asked to search my suitcase before I left. I had nothing to hide, so I let him.”
“Then the jewelry was actually in your possession.”
“Exactly. There were several pieces stitched into the lining. When he found it, I panicked. The cab was right there and I just couldn’t think further ahead than getting away. I’d seen this apartment for rent during my walks and I knew it would be safe here, so I had the cab drop me at the bus station and then took a city bus back. I’d never felt like a fugitive before.”
“So someone planted the jewelry.”
“Of course. Maybe if I hadn’t bolted…oh, I don’t know. Maybe if I go back to the mansion now and talk to Robert, Mrs. Priestly’s grandson, or Donna, his sister, make them understand, they could get their father to back down. I don’t want Mrs. Priestly’s money, I’ll tell them that. I was going to talk to them this morning when I walked over there, but there were so many people—I’d forgotten about the wake.”
Cody shook his head. “Emerson Banner is aching to sic the police on you. You can’t go back there.”
She pressed her temples with her fingers. “Could you just stop telling me what I can and can’t do?”
He swore under his breath and regarded her from beneath the brim of his hat. “One last time. Come home.”
She shook her head. “Not like this.”
He stared hard at her a moment, then closed his eyes. In that moment he was so vulnerable her heart ached for him. When his eyes flickered open again, she saw he’d summoned the Westin resolve she knew so well.
“I came here ready to give you a divorce if that’s what you wanted,” he said, his gaze straying down to her belly. “It’s pretty obvious, even to me, that you don’t want to be part of my life anymore.”
“That’s not necessarily true,” she said. “I just need to finish this alone. Maybe you could return to Wyoming and let me think and maybe you could figure out how you feel about everything, too.”
“I know how I feel. What if they arrest you?”
“You’ll be my one phone call.”
Again he stared at her. She wished he would hug her and yet hoped he wouldn’t. Did he know he was one touch away from winning?
“We’ll do it your way,” he said. “Do you need money?”
“No. Mrs. Priestly paid me in cash and I hardly ever spent a dime. I’m fine for now.”
“But if the baby comes, a hospital—”
“I’ll take care of it. Don’t worry about…us.”
He stepped close and touched her cheek. When his lips brushed her forehead, she almost crumbled.
But she didn’t.
“Don’t disappear again.”
“If I decide to slink away in the night it will be from this place and these people, not from you, I promise.” Her breath caught as his fingers drifted away from her face.
“Goodbye, Cassie.”
And then he was gone.
She moved to the window and parted the drapes a little, watching him walk down the sidewalk. It didn’t take too much imagination to picture herself beside him, his arm wrapped around her shoulders…
Go after him.
No. She couldn’t.
But she wanted to.
And yet she felt pretty certain he felt relief that she didn’t.
As she turned from the window, she spied the blue scarf. She’d bought it for herself, surprised real silk had found its way into a thrift store. Now it symbolized all the months of loneliness and indecision she’d suffered, and blue seemed an appropriate color.
She needed a walk. Dare she go outside again?
Her hand was on the knob, she was ready to open the door, but in the end she could not face all that open space. Instead she twisted the old lock and, feeling about as big and ungainly as a house, sagged on the sofa.
Cody was gone. Had he said one positive thing about their baby? Had he mentioned love? She tried to remember, but the last half hour replayed like a bunch of jumbled words and impressions, and all she could really recall clearly was the fear of Emerson Banner and the touch of Cody’s lips on her skin.
Exhausted, she fell asleep before she could think it through.
WALKING AWAY from that apartment was the worst moment of Cody’s life.
He’d found her.
And lost her. Again.
And now, of course, there was a baby. His baby. He was going to be a father whether he was ready or not. Had she planned the pregnancy to present it as a done deal and then started a conversation he’d screwed up because he hadn’t known the script?
No, she wouldn’t trick him. Wasn’t her style.
Cars were leaving the Priestly house, and there were a lot of people milling about outside. He saw Emerson Banner and his wife standing on the porch, probably saying goodbyes. There was a lot he wanted to ask them, but the police car parked in front of the house kept him moving. He took a circuitous route back to his truck, got behind the wheel and made a U-turn to avoid passing the big Victorian house.
He checked out of the motel, grabbed a bite to eat and hit the road. As he racked up the miles he grew more and more uneasy. Not for a second did he think Cassie had a thing to do with Mrs. Priestly’s murder, but why did she say she could have done things differently? The murder sounded like a foiled robbery attempt, nothing else, so why did Cassie say the old lady had been worried for days? He’d been so caught up in trying to get Cassie back into his life that he’d neglected to ask some pretty basic questions.
His thoughts immediately circled back to their baby. How did he feel about becoming a father? Unprepared, that’s how. Three hours ago, he hadn’t even had a wife or at least one he was sure was alive…
The afternoon wore on, and he tried to comfort himself with the knowledge he’d be home soon. Cattle market was over. Despite a tumultuous year, they’d done well; Adam’s conversion to an organic herd was paying off. They’d been able to stow away an excellent store of hay and grain for the coming winter. Now there were several miles of fencing along the main drive that needed to be restrung before winter, but his brother Pierce was a whiz at that and for the first time in many, many years, he was once again ranching on the Open Sky. And then there were the upcoming weddings…
What kind of man leaves a woman he cares for in the situation Cassie was in? So what if she didn’t want his help? She’d claimed he couldn’t change. Was she right?
Christmas this year would include a baby—his baby. How could he be driving away?
He suddenly realized he’d slowed to about ten miles an hour on the twisting mountain road and pulled off to the side before he caused an accident. Cassie’s voice filled his head like one of those melodies that get lodged in your brain and you can’t get rid of.
He loved her. He had since the moment they met at a rodeo, of all places. He’d been competing in a bull-riding event and she’d been there with some guy she knew from school.
Cody had been attracted to her clear-eyed beauty at first, then to the strong streak of competence and spirit that ran through her personality like a vein of gold through a gold mine. He had no idea what she saw in him. He was a loner by nature and she was always in the middle of everything. He’d grown up in a male household with a missing mother; she’d grown up with a bitter single mother and a father who ran out when she was a baby.
So maybe that was what they had in common—missing parents. But while he’d coped by closing himself off, she’d opened like a flower to accept everyone and everything into her heart. He’d asked her to marry him on their second date and she’d laughed at him, but he couldn’t help himself. After that, though, she’d asked him several times how he felt about children and he’d always said someday, meaning “someday a long time from now,” when he was ready, when he figured it out.
And maybe in the back of his mind he’d assumed she’d wait forever. Wasn’t what they had between them enough? Why add complications?
Now he wondered, was she right? Had he been putting her off because he was afraid—
Afraid? Since when was he afraid of anything?
He turned around. An hour later, figuring his out-of-state license plate made the truck stand out like a white star on a black stallion’s forehead, he pulled into the alley behind Cassie’s apartment. He’d been away for four hours—it was entirely possible she would be gone…
He’d just grabbed the stair handrail when something about the garage window to his right caught his attention. It was one of those multipaned affairs, and where before it had been intact, it now had a red rag stuffed through one of the openings. He detoured to take a closer look. Sure enough, the pane closest to the interior lock was broken.
He pulled on the cloth, and as he did so, the unmistakable stench of the fuel additive the gas company adds to warn a user of a leak assailed his nostrils. This was immediately followed by the bam-bam images of glass shards on the workbench below the window and then the sight of the heater against the wall, its fuel pipe unscrewed from the stove, a crescent wrench on the floor beneath it.
He took the stairs two at a time and grabbed the knob, prepared to fling his body into the wood panel if it was locked. It was. He easily kicked in the old, flimsy panel, then followed the sound of running water and the aroma of soap into the kitchen, where he found Cassie leaning awkwardly over the sink, using the detachable faucet spray to rinse out her long hair.
He grabbed her shoulders from behind and she screamed as she turned. She was still holding the spray and it hit him in the eyes.
“Cody! What are you doing?” she screeched, as he pulled on her hands.
“Come with me. Now!”
“Wait just a minute. You can’t—”
“There’s a gas leak,” he yelled, almost carrying her to the door. She grabbed her handbag in passing and went with him willingly then, and somehow the two of them flew down the stairs in record time.
They had just hit the ground running when Cody saw the flick of a light through the garage window and registered a faint, audible click. A millisecond later, the whole building exploded.
The blast propelled them forward. He did his best to be the one who hit the ground first to cushion Cassie’s fall. A second later, burning debris rained down around them, and he sheltered her as best he could. They’d landed behind a hedge, which also helped.
They sat up when it seemed the worst was over. The garage and the two apartments above it had been reduced to a burning pile of rubble. Neighbors began to come out of their houses.
Cody helped her to her feet and pulled her back when she started to leave the shelter of the hedge. Who knew if the bomber lay in wait? They stood there a moment, gasping at the destruction. Then he turned her to face him, pushing a tangle of wet hair away from her eyes. “Someone rigged that heater, Cassie. My God, someone tried to kill you.”
“I hear sirens,” she said. “We have to get out of here.”
“But the police—”
“No, Cody, I don’t want to talk to the police. All the questions I can’t answer, the jewelry and everything— Please, I can’t face that right now. I just want to get out of Cherrydell.”
He stared down at her, at war with himself. They should stay long enough to report what happened and face things head-on. But that wasn’t what she wanted…?.
“Let’s put our personal problems on hold for a while and make sure you survive to give birth,” he said. “Come back to the Open Sky with me. We’ll talk to Sheriff Inkwell. At least he knows you.”
Eyes wide, lips trembling, she nodded.
Chapter Four
Cassie couldn’t stop turning to gaze behind them at the traffic, looking for—well, a killer. “What kind of person tries to blow up a pregnant woman?” she asked, very aware of the quiver in her voice.
“The kind who smothers an old woman to death in her sleep,” Cody said, sparing her a quick glance.
Every mile that passed beneath the truck’s tires vibrated inside Cassie’s body. Even the baby seemed aware that things were changing fast; only the periodic rolls and gentle kicks reassured Cassie that the blast hadn’t harmed him or her.
