скачать книгу бесплатно
“Dog is a silly name,” Hazel grumbled. “Just like Bullhead is a silly name. You’re not very good at naming pets.”
John smothered a grin with one hand. “I’ve been accused of a lot of shortcomings, but I have to say that’s a new one.”
“Then we’ll give him a better name.” Hazel backed away several paces. “Come here, Champion.”
The dog trotted over.
Though the cowboy’s face remained impassive, Moira noted the rise and fall of his chest as he heaved an exasperated breath.
She grudgingly admired John’s even temper. Weak with hunger, her mood swung between rage and despair at a moment’s notice. Right now she’d give anything for a soft bed and a slice of pie. Apple pie. A thick cut of crispy crust. She pictured cinnamon-flecked filling oozing between the tines of her fork. Her mouth watered and she swayed on her feet.
“What’s all this?” another voice called.
Moira snapped to attention. A squat man emerged from the farthest tent. As round as he was tall, his bowed legs were exactly half of his size. A shock of gray hair topped his perfectly round head and his plump face was smooth and cleanly shaven. He adjusted his belt and crossed his arms over his chest.
The cowboy tossed a log onto the fire, sending a shower of sparks drifting skyward. “I’ve brought you some mouths to feed.”
“What happened to the fellows?”
“Gone.”
The abrupt answer piqued Moira’s curiosity.
“Good riddance, I say,” the older man replied. “Not a decent one in the lot.”
John grunted and motioned between the squat man and the girls. “This is Pops. Pops, this is Darcy, Tony, Sarah, and little Hazel. They’ll be staying with us tonight. And they could all use some grub.”
John motioned Moira forward. “And this is Miss O’Mara, she’s in charge of the girls.”
“Well, not exactly, I wouldn’t say—” Moira stuttered over her scattered explanation.
She was the outsider.
No one ever put her in charge of anything, let alone anyone. Her vagabond life from orphan to foundling had shaped her into an expert at dealing with rejection. She spent her time hovering on the fringes, unnoticed. She came and went before anyone had a chance to know her.
Folks didn’t trust loners. Which at times she found annoying, especially considering the people who’d betrayed her trust most egregiously were the ones she’d known best of all.
Pops extended his hand. “Pleased to meet you, Miss.”
Moira offered a quick shake and a weak smile.
“You look fit to eat your shoe leather,” the old man continued. “Let me fetch something that’ll stick to your ribs.”
“I’ll help,” Sarah offered quickly.
Moira blinked. As the most shy of the bunch, she hadn’t expected Sarah to step forward.
The next twenty minutes passed in a blur. Moira and the girls ate quickly, devouring the simple stew with gusto. Their chattering gradually quieted and their shoulders drooped. Pops and John rustled up a stack of blankets and Moira arranged them inside the tent nearest the warming fire. Once all four girls had pulled the covers over their shoulders, she sat back on her heels.
The dog wove his way through the tent, sniffing each girl in turn before returning outside and lying before the closed tent flaps and resting its snout on outstretched paws.
With her hunger sated for the first time in days, Moira transformed from bone-weary exhaustion into a bundle of nerves. Not tired, but not quite awake either. She was anxious and uncertain. The evening had been a chaotic ride fraught with danger. There’d been a time when she would have lit a precious candle and read until her restlessness passed, but she hadn’t either a book or a candle.
Emerging from the tent, she gingerly stepped over Champion before arching her back. John crouched before the fire, arranging the logs with the whittled point of a stick.
Moira glanced around. “Where’s Pops?”
“Asleep.” John relaxed against his cinched bedroll and stretched out his legs, crossing his ankles and lacing his hands behind his head. His hat sat low on his forehead, shadowing his eyes as the firelight danced over the planes of his face. “I’ve never seen Pops that agreeable. It’s worth having you girls around to enjoy his rare good temper.”
Moira scoffed. “You’re pulling my leg.” The grandfatherly man was as gentle as a spring lamb.
“Don’t let him fool you. He’s meaner than a sack full of rattlesnakes.”
She shrugged out of John’s coat and approached the cowboy. “Thanks for letting me borrow this.”
“Keep it.”
Too tired for arguing, Moira put it back on. Stretching her arms through the sleeves once more, she inhaled his reassuring scent. She sat cross-legged before the cheery blaze, her hands folded in her lap. Cocooned by darkness, she was content with the silence between them, comforted by the lowing cattle and the crackling fire. Gradually the tension in her sore muscles eased.
The flames danced in the breeze, orange and yellow with an occasional flash of blue at the base. A fire not contained by brick and mortar was foreign. More beautiful and compelling.
John glanced across the distance, shadows flickering across his face. “The girls okay?”
Moira nodded.
“Did anything happen back there?” He tipped back his hat, revealing his clear and sympathetic eyes. “Anything more?”
Moira knew what he was asking, and she answered as best she could. “I don’t think so. We were all taken this evening and locked in together.”
A sigh of relief lowered his shoulders. “Thank God.”
He visibly relaxed, and she realized he’d been carrying the tension since he’d counted the windows. He hadn’t known she was watching, but she’d observed his studied concentration, seen his face change when he’d recognized the brothel.
“Amen to that,” she replied quietly.
The question had cost him, that much was clear, and Moira admired his courage. It was easier ignoring the evil in life, easier looking away than facing wicked truths. Most folks would rather skirt a puddle than fix the drain.
She replayed the events of the night in her head. What did she know about John Elder—other than he smelled like an autumn breeze and looked like he should be advertising frock coats on a sketched fashion plate. Not that looks and scent counted for much. She knew he was driving his cattle north because he was trying to prove himself. He didn’t appear the sort of man who’d let someone else hold him back.
Unable to curtail her curiosity, she braced her hands against her bent knees. “Where is the rest of your crew?”
“They went bad on me. Or maybe I went bad on them. It’s hard telling sometimes.”
“Surely you can’t drive the cattle alone?” Moira frowned. She didn’t know much about cattle drives, but she didn’t figure he could accomplish the task single-handedly. “What will you do now?”
“Go back into town. Start over.” He shook his head in disgust. “I’ll figure it out. I always do.” John cracked a slender branch over his bent knee. “I guess I’ll find a short crew. It’s seventy-five miles to Fort Preble, and double that to Cimarron Springs. That’s ten days with good weather. Only ten more days.” He grunted.
“Where’d you start from?”
“Paris.”
Moira bit off a laugh. “Paris? What’s wrong with American cows?”
“Paris, Texas.” A half grin slid across his face. “My family owns a cattle ranch there.”
Her cheeks heated. She was obviously too exhausted for witty banter. “Are you driving the cattle to Cimarron Springs to sell?”
“Nope.” The cowboy paused for a long moment and Moira let the silence hang between them. Finally he replied, “Starting over,” he spoke so quietly she almost didn’t hear him. “It’s a small herd, but it’ll grow. Times are changing. The big cattle drives are drying up. In ten years’ time, you will hardly see a one.”
Moira knew a lot about starting over. A man with roots and family shouldn’t feel the need. “What about your kin?”
He stared at her as though she’d grown a second head. “It’s a long story.”
Moira nodded her understanding. “They treated you unkindly.”
“Not, uh, not really. Not mean exactly.”
“It must be really dreadful. I didn’t mean to pry.”
“It wasn’t really bad, we just, uh, we just didn’t get along, that’s all. There’s no deep dark secret.” The cowboy plucked another handful of kindling from a pile at his elbow and tossed sticks onto the crackling flames. “What about you? Where’s your family?”
Thrown off guard by the abrupt turn of the tables, Moira considered her answer carefully. She didn’t share details about her past with strangers. She didn’t want pity or judgment.
Yet something in the night air and the cowboy’s affable, forthright eyes compelled her confidence. “I’m searching for my brother. We were separated as teenagers. Last month I received a telegram. Well, part of one. It’s a long story. Anyway, I gathered what information I could and came straight out, hoping he hadn’t gone far. Except I got here too late. He’s already gone.” She recalled the cowboy’s previous comment. “What did you mean earlier? If we were boys, you’d take us on as your crew?”
A chuckle drifted across the campfire. “It was a story my father used to tell. Back in forty-nine you couldn’t find any able-bodied men for work. They’d all been lured away by the gold rush. A local rancher, desperate for hands, hired him and ten other boys. They drove twelve-hundred head of cattle almost four hundred miles. None of them but the rancher and the cook was over the age of fifteen.”
“That’s amazing!”
“Yeah, but I’m not sure how much I believe.” John scoffed. “The story got bigger each time he told it.”
Moira braced her hands behind her and leaned back. For the first time in years, she’d lost her direction. She’d run up against dead ends before. For some inexplicable reason, this time felt different, more final...more devastating.
“Too bad about your brother,” John said. “I have six of ’em and I’m the youngest. Never lost a one though. They were always around. Too much so.”
Moira’s eyes widened. “What a blessing, having all that family.”
The cowboy kept his eyes heavenward. “I don’t know if I’d put it that way.”
She followed his gaze, astonished by the sheer number of stars blanketing the night sky. She couldn’t recall the last time she’d stared at the moon. If she was out after dark, she kept her defenses up, watching for strangers and pickpockets, not staring at the twinkling stars. “What about your parents?”
“Both dead. My pa died first and I guess my ma couldn’t imagine living without him. She died a short while later.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” Moira murmured. “I guess you’re an orphan, too.”
“I never thought about it that way.” A wrinkle deepened on his forehead. “Except I’m the youngest, and I sometimes feel like I have six fathers. My reasons for leaving seem small now, after talking with you, but I had to set out on my own. When our folks were alive, they had a way of making sure we all had a voice. Now it’s as if we’re all fighting to be heard, only no one is listening. It got to the point where we’d argue over something just for the sake of a good brawl. I figured if I didn’t leave soon, all that fighting would turn into hate. And hate is a hard thing to come back from. I know my folks wouldn’t have wanted that for us.”
Moira plucked a handful of prairie grass and held it in her fisted hand. “I wouldn’t know.”
Her own father had run off the year Tommy had been born. Her mother had once been young and beautiful, but time and illness had stolen the bloom from her cheeks. The more she needed and the less she gave, the less her husband came home at night. Once she’d lost her usefulness, he’d run. He’d run from his wife and his children. His responsibilities. He hadn’t run far enough. He’d been killed in a factory accident three months later.
Moira had been in charge of herself for as long as she could remember. Her mother had worked herself sick, and Moira had cared for her little brother. When her mother could no longer even care for herself, a woman from the Missouri State Charitable Trust and Foundling Society had arrived.
Never outlive your usefulness, her mother had said.
Moira had felt her mother’s death somewhere along the way, although she’d never received proper notice. One day she’d finally accepted that no one was coming for her. The realization had hardened her heart and made her more determined than ever to prove her worth.
Shortly after the Charitable Trust had found them, she and Tommy had been taken in by the Giffords. Mrs. Gifford had fancied herself a society lady, except Mr. Gifford had never made enough money to keep her in the style she figured she deserved. Moira had initially been humbled, awed by their fine house and brocaded furniture. She’d soon learned it was all superficial luxury.
From the beginning, the Giffords had treated them like hirelings. To her foster family, she was a servant. Mrs. Gifford took great pride in parading her charity before her friends. The truth was far less charitable. The Giffords had put them to work. The siblings rolled cigars for ten hours a day, sometimes more. Pacing and frowning, Mr. Gifford had timed them with his ever-present pocket watch. More cigars meant more income for the Giffords.
Making Moira work from sunup to sundown for nothing more than a roof over her head and a castoff dress each spring didn’t place Mrs. Gifford in the annals of sainthood, though she acted as if it did. After Tommy ran away, Moira had marked off the days until her eighteenth birthday and left that morning.
Mr. and Mrs. Gifford had figured she’d be back in a week, begging for help. She’d never doubted her decision. Tommy hadn’t returned and neither would she.
The cowboy stretched and yawned. “When did you see Tommy last?”
“Five years ago. He was fifteen and I was almost seventeen. He ran away. I, uh, I thought he’d come back. I’d given up ever seeing him again until I received the telegram. It was the sign I’d been searching for all along.”
She’d find him and make things right. She’d apologize for taking the watch, for getting him in trouble. No one had loved her, truly loved her since that fateful day when she’d hidden Mr. Gifford’s infuriating pocket watch behind a tin of crackers in the pantry and let Tommy take the blame.
She was supposed to take care of him, and she’d failed. She’d failed in the worst way possible. The cowboy dug his heels into the soft earth. “That’s a long time to look for someone.”
“Not very long when you love the person.”
“Point taken.”
“We’ll be a family again.”
The cowboy resumed his stargazing. “You’re what, twenty-one, twenty-two? He’s almost twenty? That’s a long time apart. People change. Maybe you should think about starting a family of your own.”
Moira shook her head. “Not until I find Tommy.”
“Well, he’s probably looking for you, too. I’m sure it’ll all work out.”
The cowboy’s casual words buoyed her fragile hope. Would her brother accept her? He’d never returned to the Giffords. He must have known it was her fault. She’d have told the truth, except she’d been too much of a coward. By the time she’d screwed up her courage, Tommy was gone. She’d waited for him at the Giffords then stayed on working at the hotel in St. Louis, hoping to catch a glimpse of him.
If he’d been looking, surely he’d have found her. Yet this past month she’d finally been given proof, courtesy of the Gifford’s maid, that he’d tried to contact her. His concession had to mean something. “Everything will be better when we’re together as a family again.”
He’d forgive her. If she found him, if she explained, he’d forgive her. Then she could finally be whole again. They could finally be a family again. She’d have a purpose once more.
John stood and dusted his pant legs. “It’s late. You should get some sleep.” He held out his hand. “You did real well tonight. You tie knots like a trail boss. Those girls are lucky to have you.”
As she took his proffered hand, her heart stalled beneath his unexpected compliment. “Why are you doing this? Why are you helping us?”
No one ever did anything without an ulterior motive.
“Didn’t have much other choice,” he answered easily.
