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@Viviana. I don’t think so! You need to watch your back!
I posted and then shut off my phone.
“Dang, I am starting to think that Viviana might have some serious mental issues,” said Keysha as she rubbed the tension from my shoulders.
“She’s crazy, Keysha. That’s what I’ve been trying to explain to you,” I said as I combed my fingers through my hair.
“I see what you’re saying,” Keysha said.
“Keysha, I’m going to that party, and I want you to come with me,” I said.
“Oh, no. I don’t want to run into Jerry,” Keysha said.
“You probably won’t even see him. There should be tons of people there anyway,” I said.
“Why do you want to go?” Keysha asked.
“Because I want to confront Misalo,” I said.
“You’ve already done that.”
“I’m not done with him yet,” I said.
“Then call him and meet him somewhere,” Keysha suggested.
“No. I want to surprise him. I want to catch him completely off guard and force him to give me real answers.” Keysha and I looked at each other for a long moment without saying a word. She finally broke the silence.
“How long do you think it will take?” she asked.
“I don’t know. It shouldn’t take too long. Come on, Keysha, I really need your support,” I begged.
“Fine! I’ll go,” Keysha reluctantly agreed.
* * *
The party at Jerry’s house was massive. Kids parked their cars in the middle of the street because there were no more parking spaces. Since the party was in the middle of a weekday and had begun at 1:00 p.m., none of Jerry’s neighbors were home to complain. Keysha and I followed the throngs of kids racing down the sidewalk toward the sound of loud music and squealing voices. Once we were inside, unfortunately the first person we ran into was Jerry, Keysha’s old boyfriend. He was wearing a white T-shirt and blue shorts. His eyes were bloodshot, and I was sure it was from drinking, smoking or something else.
“Keysha.” He smiled and stepped toward her for a hug. Keysha moved out of his way.
“Oh, it’s like that?” Jerry asked disappointed.
“Yeah, it’s like that,” Keysha said.
“Come on. Don’t tell me you’re still mad at me?” Jerry whined.
“Jerry, what you did to me was awful.” Keysha raised her voice.
“Give me a break. You’re overreacting, Keysha. Besides, that happened so long ago. You shouldn’t hold grudges. I haven’t held any against you.” Jerry smiled again.
“I don’t have time for this. Maya, let’s find Misalo and then get out of here,” Keysha said, moving away from Jerry.
“Hey, Keysha,” he called out to her as we continued on. Keysha and I turned back to look at him.
“What?” Keysha asked, annoyed.
“Get out of my house!” Jerry said.
“What?” Keysha repeated, insulted.
“You heard me. Get the hell out of my house. Remember, this is my party. Not yours. Now get out,” Jerry said more forcefully.
“Jerry, give me a break, okay,” I said, stepping toward him. “Keysha didn’t want to come. I begged her to walk over with me. We’re just here to find Misalo, and then we’ll leave.”
“You can stay, Maya. But Keysha. No way. She has to go.” Jerry stood his ground.
“Jerry, you’re such an ass. I don’t know what I ever saw in you,” Keysha said as she walked back past Jerry. I followed her out onto the sidewalk.
“Keysha, slow down,” I said.
“Ooh! I’m so ticked off with him! Maya, I told you that I didn’t want to come to this stupid party,” Keysha griped as she marched down the street.
“I know and I’m sorry. I had no idea Jerry would react like that,” I apologized.
“I’m not going back in there,” she said.
“You don’t have to. I’ll go and find Misalo myself.”
“Fine,” Keysha said. She gave me a brief hug and then continued on. I turned around and headed back, determined to find Misalo.
six
VIVIANA
I really enjoyed ticking Maya off on Facebook. She had no idea that I had agreed to prove to Misalo that I was indeed the girl for him. When I arrived at the party, Misalo was sitting with some of his soccer friends. I walked over to where he was and sweetly asked one of his friends to move out of the seat next to him. Misalo looked surprised to see me. I leaned over, in front of all his friends, and purposely spoke in his ear.
“I know that you’re not going to make me beg you,” I whispered. Misalo looked at me as if he didn’t trust me.
“Damn, I wish my girl would greet me like that!” I heard one of his guy friends say.
“You’re not serious,” Misalo said as he looked into my eyes.
“Yes, I am,” I whispered in his ear again and nibbled on his earlobe.
“Maybe you guys need to get a hotel room,” said another one of his friends jokingly.
“Don’t want to wait any longer,” I continued to speak in his ear. Then I reached over and kissed him. Just a quick one at first, then our lips met again for a longer kiss. I squeezed his thigh and rubbed his chest.
Pulling away I said, “I’m ready and I’m yours, Misalo, if you want me.”
“Misalo, dude, if you don’t take care of her needs, I will!” said yet another one of his friends.
I pressed my forehead against his, but Misalo didn’t say anything.
“Please say something. I’m spilling my heart out to you,” I pleaded.
“So if I said let’s go do it right now, you’d go all the way?” asked Misalo.
“Yes. I’m serious about how much I love you,” I said humbly. After that statement, he was all mine. We got up and walked out.
I got into his car, which was parked around the corner from Jerry’s house. After a few moments, Misalo looked at me and said, “I know a place that we can go.”
“Okay,” I answered as he pulled off. We had to drive back past Jerry’s house in order to get there. As he sped down the street, I noticed Maya and Keysha standing around. Keysha appeared to be very upset about something, but I didn’t care. Misalo had not noticed them, and I certainly wasn’t about to tell him that Maya was nearby. I didn’t say a word. I snuggled up to his right arm and held on to it as he continued on.
* * *
Twenty minutes later, Misalo parked his car in front of a construction site where new homes were being built.
He popped the trunk and said, “Come on.”
I got out of the car and waited as he grabbed a blanket from the trunk.
“Where are we going?” I finally spoke.
“Over there in one of the houses that they haven’t put doors on yet. No will see us,” he assured me.
“It’s surrounded by a wooden fence that is too tall to climb over,” I pointed out.
“Someone kicked out a few of the plywood planks toward the other end of the fence. The hole is covered by bushes, and I know that the construction workers haven’t fixed it yet,” Misalo said as he grabbed my hand and pulled me along. I suddenly got nervous and wanted him to be gentle and take his time with me.
“Will this be special?” I asked.
“What do you mean?” Misalo glanced back at me.
“Will you like me again once I do this?” I asked.
“Sure,” Misalo said. We reached the opening in the fence and wiggled our way through it. We walked around the construction site, which was eerily silent. There were lots of concrete foundations that lacked framing and others that had the framework, but had not been enclosed with plywood and siding. At the rear of the construction site there was a home that was nearly complete. The doors were on it, but no locks had been installed.
“Are you sure we’ll be safe in here?” I nervously asked.
“Yes,” he said as I followed him inside. No drywall had been installed yet, but the rooms had been framed out with wood.
“We can do it right here.” Misalo spread the blanket out over the floor, which was covered with sawdust.
“This isn’t exactly what I had in mind,” I mumbled as I hugged myself and rubbed my arms.
“It will be fine,” Misalo whispered as he patted a spot for me to sit down on. I sat on the floor, which was hard and uncomfortable. He sat next to me.
“Do you have protection?” I asked, hoping that he was prepared.
“Yeah, I have something,” he said as he proudly removed a condom. I swallowed hard and my lips quivered because I had no clue as to what to do next.
“So have you done it before?” I asked, not sure if it was the appropriate time to ask such a question.
“Have you?” he countered with a question of his own, which didn’t make me feel comfortable. In my mind I always imagined that my first time would be with a more experienced guy.
“No,” I whispered, hoping that my inexperience wouldn’t ruin the moment.
“Neither have I, so we’re both about to lose our virginity together.” Misalo said it as if being a virgin was like being diseased. I was all for proving my love, but I needed to know that his love for me was just as strong.
“So what’s next?” I asked, too afraid to ask the love question out of fear I’d be rejected.
“We do it,” he said as he began to unlatch his belt buckle.
“Wait.” I stopped him. “Kiss me first, please,” I begged.
“Okay,” Misalo answered as he mounted himself on top of me.
I thought kissing would turn me on and get me in a better mood and even perhaps make me forget about how uncomfortable the floor felt. Misalo kissed me clumsily as if he couldn’t have cared less about kissing me the right way. He paused for a moment and glanced down at me. I saw a strange expression on his face, but I wasn’t sure what the look meant. He kissed me roughly again.
“Softer,” I whispered instructions. “Kiss me softer.” He began placing softer kisses on my neck and thrust his hips into me. My hands trembled as I locked my arms around his back and held him close.
“Do you love me?” I spoke purposefully in his ear.
“Yes, Maya, I do,” he answered. His breath on my skin suddenly felt like a hot blowtorch.
“What!” I shoved him off me so quickly he probably thought I saw someone spying on us.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, confused.
“You called me Maya!” I said, feeling like smoke from a candle that had just been snuffed out.
“I did?” He paused and replayed in his mind what he’d said. “It was a mistake. Relax.” He tried to make me feel as if I were overreacting.
“How could you think about her at a time like this?” I immediately stood up. I felt unimportant, as if the feelings I had were not mutual.
“It was a slip of the tongue. I didn’t mean anything by it,” he said defensively. “Come on, don’t ruin the moment.”
“Me, ruin the moment? Huh! You’ve done that on your own. I can’t believe you!” I said as I began walking away.
“Where are you going?” he asked, suddenly realizing just how serious saying the wrong name was.
“You totally killed the mood I was in. You’ve messed up everything, Misalo. I’m nothing like Maya. You, of all people, should know that,” I said, feeling blinding rage growing inside me. I needed to get away and calm down because, at that moment, I could have easily taken the claw end of a hammer and struck him with it.
Once I got outside the construction area, I began running. I wanted to escape from everything—Misalo, my family and, if I could, my life. Once I was a good distance away, I sat down on a bus stop bench and sobbed. Misalo truly did care about Maya more than me. The fact that I was about to endear myself to him meant nothing. As I sat on the bench, I realized that I was an emotional train wreck. My emotions functioned like a roller coaster ride—when my feelings took a nosedive, my stomach always ended up in my throat. The only constant feeling in my life was my hatred for Maya.
“Viviana.” Misalo found me. I looked over my shoulder and glanced at him briefly as he walked toward me. I smeared away my tears and pushed my emotions deep down inside.
“What?” I snarled at him, like a wounded animal giving a final warning before attacking.
