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He followed the direction of her gaze and smiled. "It's a great idea."
It might be a mistake to talk to him about such a sensitive subject in a public place, but this was a special occasion and she didn't want to waste it. She had to try. It was all so perfect.
With the second glass of champagne, she decided to make the dreaded announcement. She took a breath, feeling the rapid pulsating of the artery in her neck. Be brave... trust yourself!
"Johnny, I have to tell you something important."
He placed the glass on the table. "I'm listening."
"I’ve been very focused on work in recent months; you know that, don't you?"
"What are you wanting to say?"
"Well, you know..." How hard it is!
"Loreley, what is it?" he began to get agitated. He changed his position.
"I'm pregnant," she told him.
A countless number of times she had tried to guess what his reaction would be. She had imagined everything, but not that he would burst out laughing.
"This is really funny. You're not going to scare me. I’m not falling for it."
Scare him? She was speechless. Her thoughts were muddled and she couldn’t utter another word, but the expression on her face must have said it all, because he stopped laughing.
"You take the pill, you can't be pregnant! Don't joke about it."
"I'm not joking in the least."
"Have you stopped using it without informing me? Without asking my opinion?" he asked her, raising his voice.
"It’s not like that. Don't get upset, keep your voice down..." she begged him, almost whispering.
"Now I understand your behaviour these last few days!"
"Try to stay calm, please!"
"How can you expect me to remain calm after you’ve put me against the wall?" His gaze seemed to express contempt. "How could you play such a rotten trick on me?"
He made to leave, but she stopped him, grabbing him by the arm. In turn he blocked her hand, clutching her wrist: "Don't touch me..." he ordered. Then he let go and without adding anything else, walked out on her.
In disbelief, she watched him go through the door, his step stiff and fast. She felt as if she were suffocating.
Maybe he was feeling just like that too, she thought. She felt betrayed. From his point of view she couldn’t blame him, but she had not done it to him on purpose; this had to count for something.
Feeling let down, she paid the bill and walked to the elevator.
As it descended, she looked down at the city below for the last time, her heart pounding in her chest.
She laid her forehead on the glass wall and closed her eyes. Feeling the tears start, she blinked trying to stop them. Fortunately, people were too busy enjoying the view to pay attention to her.
She hoped Johnny was down there waiting for her, but didn't see him.
Sudden flashes of light made her to look up before she even set foot on the ground: the Eiffel Tower, already illuminated, had just lit up with more bright flashing lights, like the ones you’d see on a grand and sparkling Christmas tree. It seemed to want to encourage her not to lose heart. It was an invitation to smile; and it was successful, even if just for an instant.
On the way back, she called John and sent more than one message to his cell phone, with no reply. When she arrived at the hotel, the room was empty, as she had already imagined.
She kept her phone close to her. But, in the end, realizing he would not return that night, she felt the need to hear a friendly voice and called David. And, for the second time, shared the news of the baby on the way.
Her friend was speechless. On the other end of the phone, all she could hear was a cat mewing.
"Hey, David, say something!"
"My God, Loreley! And that’s how you tell me, over the phone?"
"I have no other way to do it right now. Wouldn’t you agree?" At that moment she needed his comforting virtual hugs, not reproach.
"I am happy about the good news, but not for the situation you’re in now... Holy cow, you should have told him before you left. You would have spared yourself from being alone to face all this!"
"It seemed like a good idea, but it's done now."
"Don't jump to any hasty conclusions," he advised her. "Sometimes the first reactions are disproportionate compared to how it feels when you’ve had time to reflect. Of course, it will be a big change!"
"I would have expected anything, but not to get pregnant. I wasn't ready for it, and I still don't think I am," she retorted, tired of the bitterness she was feeling. "It took me a while to..."
She stopped. If she herself had needed days to accept the news, why did she expect it to be different for John? "All right, I understand. I'll wait a little while before I take his no as final."
"Now go to sleep and keep me posted, please."
"Of course, I will. Good night." She was about to hang up, but heard her friend's voice call her again.
"Wait, Loreley. Best wishes for the baby!"
6
Loreley was still half-asleep when she heard the door of the room open. She lay still, opened her eyes a little, and through her eyelashes watched John open the closet, pull out the few things he had brought with him, and then put them in the duffel bag.
He moved as stealthily as a thief. He was leaving.
Her heart was beating erratically and it was if it didn’t want to start beating regularly again. She took a deep breath and, as soon as that unpleasant sensation ceased, she pulled back the blankets and got out of bed, ready to face him. She could not allow him to leave like this, with the conviction that she had deceived him.
He turned to look at her.
"I’m going to the appointment with the architect, Morel, then I’ll go back to New York... alone. You go ahead and finish your weekend," he told her, stabbing her with his eyes.
"Stop acting like this! You didn't even let me talk when we were on the Eiffel Tower."
"And I don't want to hear what you have to say now either. You're a lawyer: if you can hoodwink an entire jury to save a client, who knows what you'd say to save yourself."
"That’s a low blow!"
"And how would you define yours?" He pointed to her belly.
It wasn't easy to argue in those conditions, but she had to try, at least. "I didn't do it on purpose. I never stopped taking the pill, you have to believe me!"
"I'm sorry, but I can't." John grabbed his bag, went to the door, and walked out of the room, with not another glance at her.
Loreley stood motionless for a few seconds. She should have told him to go to hell and that she’d take care of the child herself, but she had to try to convince him of the truth before going that far; because as things stood now, if that man didn't deserve to have a child, his child instead deserved to have a father. Perhaps one day he would change his mind. Other men had changed their mind after they saw their child. The court had taught her that in some cases it was necessary to put pride aside.
No, if there was even just a slight hope, she felt it was her duty to make at least one attempt to straighten things out.
She got into her jeans, sweater and ankle boots, took her jacket and rushed out.
The elevator near the room was busy and the call button on the one opposite was red too.
She had to take the stairs. If she was fast enough, she would be able to reach him before he had time to find a taxi.
Fourth floor.
Steps, landing, steps.
Third floor.
Steps, landing, steps.
Faster, faster...
Second floor.
Steps, landing, nothing...
She missed her footing and the next steps came up to meet her. She screamed in terror.
A searing pain, then a whirlwind of dark shadows swallowed her into nothingness.
***
The slight burning on her arm and the pain in her loins made her gradually emerge from the dark fog of her senses. She couldn't open her eyes.
“Miss Lehmann... Can you hear me?"
The words had been spoken in hesitant English, with a strong foreign accent, and the female voice seemed to come from very far away.
Just a few meaningless syllables came out of her mouth. Her tongue was stuck to the palate and her lips were dry. She could only nod.
"She’s coming around. You can take her to the ward." Now it was a man speaking, but this time in perfect French. Loreley thanked her father for forcing her to learn that language when they were still living in Zurich.
Lorely stiffened: where was she? The question hung in the air and a brief silence that followed. Then some confused memories assailed her with the force of a sledgehammer. The ambulance, the emergency room, the visit... and then nothing.
She was in hospital!
Her whole body began to tremble violently.
Someone tried to hold her still, but she couldn't control the intense tremors that were shaking her body.
"I think it's a reaction to the stress of trauma," she heard someone say.
What had they done to her? she wondered, in the grip of a terrible suspicion. She wanted to know, but couldn't ask. Her teeth were chattering like a jackhammer and her heart seemed to want to beat even faster; it was as if she had a hive of angry wasps in her head. She breathed deeply several time and forced herself to calm down.
"That’s right, good... like that. Don't be afraid."
That male voice again, so reassuring.
"Doctor, Professor Leyrac is looking for you in room two." A woman had intervened.
"Yes, I'll be there right away. Take Miss Lehmann to her room," the man repeated.
Loreley became aware of footsteps moving away. The tenuous numbness that still enveloped her mind was wearing off. A few moments later, she managed to open her eyes.
The first thing she saw were the doors of a large elevator that were closing, then the silhouette of a woman in a white coat who was about to press a button.
Not long after, they moved her from the stretcher onto a bed.
"You’ll feel better tomorrow," a nurse reassured her as she fixed the IV drip onto the support rod.
"My baby..." she managed to say touching her belly.
***
Loreley awoke with some difficulty. Even though it was late morning, she still felt drowsy. It had been almost impossible to sleep peacefully that night, what with bells ringing in continuation, hurried footsteps in the corridors, whispered voices and bright lights.
A hand rested on her arm. It was a nurse.
"Miss Lehmann, you must come with me. The doctor would like to talk to you. You know, about being discharged."
"Oh! I'll be getting out, then!"
"The doctor will explain everything to you." She bent over to help her get out of bed.
Although her head was aching and one knee was swollen, Loreley refused her help and limped after her.
As they went along, she heard what sounded like an argument coming from a room down the hall.
"I don't understand, there must have been a mix-up..."
"Doctor Duval, I had asked you to keep an eye on the results of the tests, and the hCG in particular; I notice it’s the one that’s missing."
It was a voice she had already heard.
