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Sean swore again and she shoved her trembling hands under her legs. How much did she not want to relive this nightmare? But she had to. She had to make sure that Sean understood the threat. Not Sean specifically, but the police in general. Because Sean wasn’t hers anymore. She’d made sure of that when she left. Apparently, she’d done a damn good job of it, too. Wasn’t she talented? Hah. She didn’t feel so good about her long-ago actions right now. All the more reason to get out of town and back to L.A. as soon as possible. “He got out on bail right away, and for the twelve months before the trial, he followed me around. Called me. Sent me e-mails. Befriended the guards in my building.”
Her mouth was too dry to swallow and she took Sean’s soda and drank from it. “His strategy was to scare me. Make me wonder when he would come back to kill me. It gave him power to know I was looking over my shoulder. To realize I was afraid to answer the phone at night or walk to my car after work.” She flexed her hands, making fists. “He got only six months in jail because of all the cops who testified as character witnesses. When they led him out of the courtroom, he looked right at me and mouthed the words ‘I will come for you.’” She raised her gaze to Sean. “He got out on parole yesterday.”
Deep terror settled in her bones and she knew Sean saw it by the anger vibrating in his eyes. Anger on her behalf? A tremble of something alive sparked inside her, but he averted his face and gazed out at the dark lake. “Where can you go tonight?”
Go? “What are you talking about?”
“If he’s back, you can’t stay here.” He gestured around the house. “Look at all these windows and doors. No alarm. You won’t be safe.”
She glanced at the windows and a cold chill settled in her belly at the thought that Jimmy could be sitting a few yards away, watching her while he hid in the darkness. “Where am I supposed to go?”
“A hotel? A friend’s?” As if he didn’t care. Anywhere that would take her off his worry list.
And suddenly, she felt outrage roil up inside of her. She’d been quaking in fear for the past eighteen months. She’d given up the life she loved and traveled across the country to escape Jimmy, braving the memories of her childhood home, and now he was going to steal this last bit of independence from her by making her move into a hotel? Dammit! It was enough!
She smacked her palms on the table and glared at Sean. “I’m not running away again. I’m tired of changing my life because I’m so afraid. He’s been manipulating me for months and I’ve had it!” She sat straighter now, empowered by Sean’s presence and the fact that he’d found no signs of attempted forced entry or human footprints. “He probably wasn’t even here, or if he was, he had no intention of hurting me. He’s trying to twist my mind again and I’m sick of it!”
“Fine. Be sick of it. But you’re not staying here. Not until you get an alarm.” He frowned. “What about Max’s place? Why don’t you stay there?”
Stay at her dad’s house? Something twisted inside her. Something that felt like grief but was actually hate. She could tell the difference and it was hatred she felt for her father. “You didn’t hear about my dad?”
The lines around his mouth tightened. “I know about Max. I’ve been to see him in the hospital five times. I thought you could stay with Helen and the kids.”
“Stay with his wife? Are you kidding?” No way. No way. No way. Kim might have never met Helen, but she despised her. When Helen had married Kim’s dad three weeks after Joyce was buried, Helen lost the right to a fair trial. Guilty by association.
Disgust and betrayal snapped in Sean’s face. “You haven’t changed, have you? Destroyed everything ten years ago and you’re still doing it.”
What? He was blaming her? “I didn’t destroy anything. Max did.” The man didn’t even deserve to be called her father anymore. Max was impersonal and fitting.
Sean’s upper lip curled in disdain. “Max did nothing wrong.” Then he narrowed his eyes. “No one at the hospital mentioned you were in town. You haven’t even been to see him, have you?” The accusation was deep in his voice and she flinched.
Guilt flared up and she threw it back on him. “I just got here a couple days ago, so back off.” The excuse sounded weak, even to her. But what was she supposed to do? Admit how guilty she felt that she hadn’t rushed over there to get answers for Cheryl? So what if Kim didn’t want to see her dad? She had planned to check with the doctors without going to the hospital, but they wouldn’t give out information over the phone, even though she’d grown up here and should fall under the category of “trusted local.” She hadn’t been able to bring herself to meet with the doctors in person. What if Helen and her kids were at the hospital? What if Max woke up while Kim was in his room? What if she simply couldn’t handle the memories?
Dammit. She had to get over it. Go over to the hospital. Talk to the doctors. Cheryl deserved information.
“So you haven’t visited him.” He leaned back and shook his head in disgust. “What’s wrong with you? Your family used to be so close and now you won’t go see your own dad while he’s in a coma?”
Naked anguish wrenched in her chest. Okay, that wasn’t simple hatred. Definitely some emotional baggage in there. Crud. Being back in town was ripping through her defenses. “Don’t judge me.” Yeah, so what if she’d always been the first to hug her parents and used to drag Sean to Sunday dinner with the family every weekend? That was long gone now.
“Don’t judge you? You, the woman who took off on me without so much as a note. The woman who didn’t come back for her own mother’s funeral. You don’t even care that your dad’s in a coma. What the hell have you become?”
Emotions bubbled and raged inside her and she knew she would explode. Too much to cope with. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She refused to care enough to explode. This wasn’t her life anymore. After a moment, she opened her eyes. “I think you should leave now.” She strengthened her trembling voice by giving Sean a hard stare.
“I agree.” He shoved back his chair and stood. “Lock your doors.” His jaw flexed and a tendon bulged in his neck. “I’ll make sure there’s a drive-by every hour, but I doubt he’ll come back tonight.”
“Fine.” She followed him to the door. “Assign someone else to this case.”
“Believe me, I’m going to try.”
“Good.” That was what she wanted: Sean not in her house or her life or her dreams. Sean, with his cold, judging eyes. Sean, who was her history, not her present. “See you around.”
He shut the door behind him with extra force and she snapped the locks shut on her past.
KIM AWOKE WITH a start when she heard someone holler her name. Her heart leaping, she lurched to her feet and cracked her head against the bathroom sink. Oy, that hurt.
She pressed her hand to her throbbing skull. The bathroom had been the safest place in the house, with no windows and a good lock on the door, so that’s where she’d slept after Sean had left. Along with all the fireplace implements. Wrought iron, heavy and sharp, she’d lined them up next to her, ready for Jimmy.
Who had never come.
Someone shouted her name again and she glanced at her watch. Almost nine in the morning.
Daylight was good.
She stretched, feeling increasingly foolish as she recalled last night’s fiasco. How stupid had she been last night? As if Jimmy had made it all the way across the country to find her. If he really was after her, he’d spend time lurking around her work and her apartment in L.A. trying to locate her. It would take him a while to figure out that she wasn’t there. By that time, she’d have heard from Alan that Jimmy was stalking her and the restraining order would land Jimmy back in prison. Then she could return and all would be good.
Darkness always made the nightmares worse. You’d think she’d learn to control them. But no, she hadn’t and, thanks to her overactive imagination, she’d ended up dragging Sean to her house. All because Jimmy had managed to mess up her brain at the same time that he’d shoved that knife into her thigh. Throw in the guilt from avoiding the hospital when Cheryl was waiting for an update on their dad and it had made Kim even more of an emotional disaster, freaking out at the slightest sound.
Screw Jimmy. She was never going to be his victim again—not physically, not emotionally.
This morning, she was going to call the police station and tell Sean that the whole thing was a false alarm and to forget it. Because Jimmy wasn’t in Maine. At worst, he was still in L.A., stalking her empty apartment.
She would not live in terror anymore, and the first step was to admit that her fears were irrational.
The doorbell rang, and she almost smiled at the sound. How weird to hear that familiar tune after ten years. Last night, she’d been so obsessed with being murdered she hadn’t even noticed it, but today it struck her.
She kicked the fireplace implements aside and stepped into the hall. No one jumped out at her, but she still peered through the window before opening the front door, just to make sure Jimmy hadn’t marched up to the house. An elderly man with gray hair, leathery wrinkles and a faded Red Sox cap grinned at her.
Relief and happiness cascaded through her and she tugged the door open. “Eddie!”
He held out wiry, ancient arms and she accepted, hugging the man who’d been in charge of the boats at the Loon’s Nest for forty-three years.
The Loon’s Nest was the official name for the rustic vacation resort-slash-camp that had been in her dad’s family for over a hundred years. The ninety-two cabins lining the shores of Birch Tree Lake were rented out every summer. With no kitchens or any sort of utility room, all the families ate at a central dining hall three times a day, and there were plenty of programs to keep the guests entertained: picnics on the islands, hikes in the mountains, softball games and more. Kim’s childhood home was on the outskirts of the camp, giving the family some privacy from the guests.
Her dad had moved out when he remarried, but he’d kept this house while he and Helen set up their cozy love nest a few miles away. The old home had sat fully furnished and empty, sustained by Max’s hopes that one of his wayward daughters would someday return to run the place.
And here she was. Back in the house. But it wasn’t on Max’s terms, and she wasn’t here to stay.
“Kimmy!” Eddie kissed her cheek. “I can’t believe you’re back.”
“It’s so good to see you.” She gave him a big hug, the scent of his pipe tobacco cascading back to her, a memory long forgotten. It made her want to curl up in his lap and listen to stories about the old days.
As a kid, she’d spent thousands of hours following Eddie around, sucking up all his knowledge about the lake and boats and nature. She adored him. God, it was good to see him.
Okay, so there was one good thing about being back in town.
“Come in.” She held the door open. “I want to hear all about everything.” As Eddie stepped inside, she stuck her head out and peered around. The woods were quiet, the underbrush jiggling from chipmunks. Birds were chirping, and a squirrel was running around with a pinecone in his mouth. No Jimmy.
Still, she bolted the door behind them. Yeah, he was probably hanging around her apartment in L.A., but it didn’t hurt to be careful.
“How did you know I was back?” She steered Eddie toward the kitchen table he’d sat at many times, then pulled a pitcher of lemonade out of the fridge.
“I’ve been watching the house. Figured you might come back when your dad got in the accident.”
Oh, crap. “Does everyone know I’m back?”
He shook his head. “This house is too far away from the rest of the camp. No one comes out here. I’ve been driving by on the lake, keeping an eye on the place.”
Phew. She wasn’t up to facing people yet.
“Thanks for stopping by.” And she meant it. Eddie was dear to her, the only vestige of her past that wasn’t tainted.
“We’re real sorry about your dad.”
She managed a civil nod. “Thanks.”
“That boat was okay. It wasn’t my fault.”
Surprised at his response, she touched his hand. “Of course it wasn’t your fault, Eddie. It was an accident.” Wasn’t it? Hadn’t Cheryl told her it was an accident? Cheryl had been Kim’s conduit for all the town news since they’d left.
Not that she cared about the details of what had happened to her dad. But Cheryl cared, so she had to ask. “What exactly happened? No one has told me.”
Eddie frowned. “Some kids were camping on Big Moon Island about a week ago. They heard a boat motor roaring and then a crash just before midnight, so they went down there and checked it out. The moon was out, so they were able to see your dad unconscious under the water, the boat cracked up on the rocks. Smashed his head on a rock, apparently. Kids hauled him out and gave him CPR while their buddies got help from the marina. Kept him alive, but he never woke up.” Eddie blinked several times. “Best friend a man could have. Should never have happened.”
No kidding. Her dad was the guru of boating safety and could navigate the lake blindfolded, even at night. He’d never, ever run aground, let alone smashed a boat full speed into one of the islands. The darkness wouldn’t have made a difference to him. He didn’t need daylight to navigate the lake. No one who had lived on it for fifty years did. The moon and stars were more than enough.
“The gearshift was locked down, so people figure that it got stuck,” Eddie said.
So what? That wasn’t enough to cause her dad to crash into an island. “What about the propeller? Couldn’t he have turned?”
“Jammed, too.” Eddie shook his head. “Weirdest damn thing. Makes no sense. I take care of that boat, and it was fine. Sure, it’s twenty years old, but it’s in perfect shape. I didn’t screw up.”
“Of course you didn’t—”
He interrupted her, anger resonating in his voice. “The cops won’t listen to me, but you will. I know what happened.”
“What?” For an instant, Jimmy flashed through her mind. Would he target her entire family? Except that he’d still been in prison when the accident happened. Thank God for that. One less thing for her to be paranoid about.
“It was that new wife of his. She tried to kill him.”
Chapter Three
“Helen’s trying to murder him?” How ironic if his new beloved did kill Max, after he’d taken the life of his first wife. Poetic justice, although there would never be justice for the loss of Kim’s mother.
Then Kim sighed. This wasn’t the movies. Wives didn’t go around offing their husbands. Especially by cracking a boat up on some rocks. A very bad way to try to kill someone because the chances of death were minimal. Only a total idiot around the water would think that might work.
Eddie grabbed her arm, his gnarly fingers digging into her skin. “Helen despises the camp. She hates everything about his past life. She’s been trying to get him to sell the place for years and he won’t. Saving it for you girls, and she don’t care.”
A second wife who hated the lake? Her dad sure could pick his women. But Helen apparently spoke up. Joyce had kept quiet and suffered until a bottle of antidepressants became her only solution for escape from the man who had destroyed her. Damn him!
But Eddie wasn’t finished and wouldn’t leave Kim to suffer the memories of her past. “That’s why I came over here today. You gotta save the camp.”
Um, hello? No chance of that. “What are you talking about?”
“Helen’s destroying it. You gotta take over until your dad can come back.”
“No.” She pushed back from the table. “I can’t. I’m only out here to check on Max. I have to go back to L.A. in a few days. My job.” Not precisely true. Her leave of absence from her job as an editor at the Hollywood insider magazine would last a month, but she would be on the first plane back to L.A. as soon as it was safe.
She and Alan had figured it would take only a couple of weeks for Jimmy to come after her, so she could be back at work shortly. She had a gorgeous apartment, lots of friends, and invites to all the best parties so she could keep tabs on celebrity gossip. Everything that made life complete. Most of the time.
Unfortunately, in order to stay hidden from Jimmy, she’d had to go MIA from work entirely. No calls, no e-mails. She was going insane, wondering how much her replacement was screwing up. But she and Alan had decided it was too risky to have any contact with the office. Someone would need to mail her something, her address would be released and then she’d be in trouble. Total silence was the only way, and she was going through definite withdrawal. L.A. was her home now, not the lake.
Besides, there was no way she could reinvest herself in this place. Not with Sean here. Not with Helen lurking around. She had to leave, not dig herself deeper. “Eddie, I can’t help with the camp.”
Hope faded from Eddie’s eyes. “I understand.”
Could she feel guiltier about the despair on his face? “Eddie…”
He let go of her arm. “I gotta get back. July’s a busy time. Boats are going in and out and my assistant don’t know a propeller from a life jacket.”
She bit her lip as he trudged to the door, his shoulders stooped and his gait shuffling. He’d gotten so old since she’d last been here.
Who was she kidding? He’d gotten old in the five minutes since she’d turned him down. “Um…Eddie? How bad is it?”
“We’ll be bankrupt by the end of the summer.”
Oh, no. “Are you sure?”
“Yeah.”
“But then the place will be sold.” And Cheryl would have nowhere to come home to when she was finally able to resume her life.
There was no way Kim could let her little sister down. It would take her a lifetime to repay Cheryl for the two times she’d already betrayed her.
The first time was when Kim had left ten years ago, abandoning her little sister to a suicidal mother and a clueless father.
Yeah, sure, Kim had left because her mom had talked her into it with her whispered confessions while she and Kim were huddled in the alcove of the church, Sean waiting at the altar. Heck, Joyce had helped her pack, so desperate she was that Kim not make the same mistakes she’d made. Giving up dreams, being stuck in a dead-end marriage with a man she didn’t love, being trapped in Ridgeport forever, miserable beyond anything she could endure—all because of teenage love that hadn’t been real. The stark anguish in her mother’s eyes had terrified Kim, and she’d realized that if she stayed in town, she’d never be able to resist the lure of Sean, his safe and familiar arms, things that would destroy her the way they’d devastated her mother.
Of course, Kim would never have left if she’d truly understood how desperate her mom was. Joyce had sworn that she’d follow Kim soon after with Cheryl and they would all be happy. But her mom had killed herself six months later, driven to it by her husband, the man who refused to let her go. Never would Kim forgive Max for destroying her family. Ever. Not after she’d received the letter.
Kim should have realized how bad the situation was when she’d left or, at the very least, come back for Cheryl after Joyce killed herself. Instead, Cheryl had tried to take her own life, and Kim still had nightmares about it. Convincing Cheryl to come to California for school, then paying for her expenses didn’t begin to make up for the fact that she’d almost lost her sister.
The second time Kim had let Cheryl down was with Jimmy. When Kim had known it was wrong for Cheryl to marry him, but hadn’t stopped her.
Mistakes that had nearly killed her sister—twice.
No way would she let Cheryl lose her legacy, as well. Sweet, innocent Cheryl, who had never realized how bad their dad was, keeping in touch with him even after all that had happened. “Give me five minutes to change and I’ll follow you up to the office.”
Eddie’s face lit up with hope, hope that wrenched Kim’s stomach. “I’m not a business expert, Eddie. I don’t know if I’ll be able to do anything.”
