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He touched her arm. “I promise I’ll take care of her.”
She smiled through her tears. “I know she’ll never want for anything, which is lovely, but there’s so much more to a marriage than not worrying about bills. Noelle is special. I guess I don’t have to tell you that, but I’m going to, anyway. She’s smart and responsible and caring. And that’s what I worry about the most. Her heart.”
She paused and wiped away the single tear that had escaped. “She thinks she’s tough, but she bruises so easily. She leads with her heart. Be careful of that. Be tender.”
“I will,” he said, knowing it was a safe promise. Noelle’s heart didn’t enter into their agreement.
“As long as you love each other fully, you can get through anything,” Jane said. “That’s my best advice. Love each other.”
He nodded without speaking, then walked toward the car.
Love. Romantic love. He didn’t believe in it. Not anymore. He’d tried it once, while he’d been raising Jimmy, only the woman in question had refused to deal with a difficult teenager. He’d let her walk away because he hadn’t known how to keep her. The loss had devastated him.
Since then, he’d avoided the emotion and found he got along quite fine. Love was for the weak. He’d always been strong. Nothing about that was going to change.
Since Dev was able to carry about five times as much luggage as Noelle, they carried everything inside in two trips.
“I told you about the two bedrooms down here,” he said as he showed her a large, airy bedroom decorated in pale blue and beige. A queen-size bed sat against one wall, with a big armoire opposite. A long desk filled the space under the window.
“I ordered the desk last week and had it put here,” he said. “I thought you might like to look out while you studied.”
He’d done that for her? “Thank you,” she said as she glanced out at the beautiful yard. She could see flowers, a tree and one end of the pool. Talk about a great way to take a break. “It was very thoughtful.”
“You’re welcome. Bookcases,” he said, pointing to the ends of the desk.
She bent down and saw there was a good-sized bookcase at each end. On both sides of the comfy looking leather chair were deep file drawers.
The closet was equally impressive. A big walk-in had been finished by some expert who had put in angled shelves for shoes, straight shelves for folded items, pockets for purses, three sets of drawers and plenty of multilevel hanging space. The fixtures were a gleaming silver that looked great against the light wood.
She walked into the bathroom. There were two sinks and lots more storage space. The far door led into another nice bedroom with a queen-size bed and simple furniture.
“You’ll want to make changes,” he said. “To make this into a baby’s room. I’ll give you the name of my decorator. If you’d rather design it yourself, I have a handyman who will move furniture, paint, hang curtains, whatever. All that information is in my study.”
He left, apparently wanting to give her that stuff now. Noelle lingered for a second. A baby’s room. She tried to imagine the space filled with a crib and changing table, but nothing about this situation seemed real.
She found Dev in his study. He offered her a list of phone numbers, including his personal cell, work cell, private line, the decorator and anyone else he thought she might want to get in touch with.
There was also a leather box filled with an assortment of items. He went through them quickly.
“ATM card, checkbook. Extra key to my car. House key, alarm code. Everything is marked.”
“You’ve been busy,” she said, feeling her head start to spin. “All I had to do was pack up a few clothes.”
“This is your home now, Noelle.”
Was it? Technically, but she didn’t think she would feel totally comfortable in the beautiful space for a long time.
“So you’re saying I can put my feet up on the coffee table?” she asked.
“You can take a hammer to it, if you’d like.”
She winced. “Not my style, although I appreciate the offer.”
They smiled at each other. Okay, sure, this was weird and awkward, but Dev was doing his best to make things pleasant and easy. He’d been nothing but thoughtful from the moment he’d found out about the baby.
“You’re a really good guy,” she said. “Why aren’t you married?”
He grinned. “Actually, I am, Mrs. Hunter.”
“What? Oh. Me.”
“Forgotten already?”
She glanced down at her ring. Mrs. Hunter. Was that her? “Sort of.”
He put a hand on her shoulder. “You’ll get used to it.”
She nodded and started to say something, but the words got lost as she realized how much she wanted to step closer to him. Right now she could do with a good hug and one specifically from Dev. She wanted him to hold her next to him and tell her everything was going to be all right. She wanted to borrow strength from him and listen to his heartbeat and maybe have him…
What? What did she want? She swallowed as the truth uncoiled inside of her.
She wanted him to kiss her.
The thought was so unexpected, she actually took a step back. Kissing? There was no kissing in their relationship. Oh, sure. Slight, friendship-style kisses on the cheek. But not mouth to mouth, breath mingling, tongues touching, I-want-to-melt-into-you kissing. That was not allowed.
“You all right?” he asked.
“Fine,” she said in a squeak, then cleared her throat. “Thanks for all of this.” She motioned to the box. “I’ll, um, try not to go wild at the sales.”
“I’m not worried.” He hesitated, then said, “There’s something else you need to see. Under the circumstances…” He seemed at a loss for words, which was so not Dev. “Jimmy lived here, in the pool house. I’m having it redone into a game room, but before the workmen show up, I thought you might want to look around and see if there’s anything you’d like to keep for yourself or the baby. I’ve already taken a few things for myself.”
Jimmy. She hadn’t thought about him in days. He was the reason all this had happened and yet he’d practically vanished from her mind.
Guilt battled with her more practical nature. If she’d let him go so easily, apparently what she had felt wasn’t love. So what did love feel like and how would she know when it was real?
“If this is a bad time,” he began.
“No, it’s fine. I appreciate the offer.”
She followed him outside. The pool house was a big open room with full bath at one end. A sofa sat in front of a large television. A bed had been pushed against the far wall.
Noelle looked at the sports posters on the walls and a few trophies on a shelf. She waited for a flood of emotion, but there wasn’t one. Just sadness for a young man who had died too early.
Several small model cars sat on a window sill. When she crossed to them, Dev said, “He always loved cars. By the time he was ten, he knew more about them than me.”
She picked up two cars, then fingered an Angels baseball cap before adding it to her collection. There weren’t any personal pictures and she didn’t think what looked like a year’s worth of Car and Driver would be considered significant. Then she spotted the yearbooks.
“You don’t want these for yourself?” she asked.
Dev shook his head.
She flipped through one and saw dozens of messages from friends. “I’ll keep these, too,” she said. “What people write often gives insight into a person. Jimmy’s son or daughter might like that.”
“Okay. I have a lot of pictures I was going to sort through. Once I figure out when they were taken, I’ll put them in order.”
“That would be nice.”
They returned to the house.
“I thought we’d order dinner in tonight,” he said. “Give you a chance to settle in.”
She nodded. “I’ll go to the grocery store tomorrow and cook dinner. Any requests?”
“You don’t have to cook.”
“I actually like cooking.” She put the items from Jimmy’s room on the kitchen counter. “My mom made sure we all knew what we were doing. I don’t get very fancy, but everything is eatable.”
“Then you pick. I can’t remember my last home-cooked meal, so I won’t be fussy.”
Interesting, she thought. So the slinky, exotic women didn’t cook. No doubt they had other talents.
“What time do you usually get home?”
“About six.”
“Then I’ll plan dinner for six-thirty.”
This was so strange—having this very domestic conversation with the man who had been, until recently, her boss.
“I’ll leave you to unpack, then,” he said. “Let me know if you need any help.”
“I will. Thanks.”
Dev retreated to his den. He had to find this as strange as she did. They were both being so polite. Would it get easier with time? Would they ever feel comfortable together?
Once again she thought that this was not the marriage she’d always imagined. However, it was the one she had. Instead of focusing on what she wanted to be different, maybe it was time to think about how lucky she was to be married to Dev and do what she could to make their two years together fun for both of them.
Noelle had decided on what her mother claimed was every man’s favorite—meatloaf and mashed potatoes—for her first home-cooked meal. She wasn’t sure of Dev’s vegetable preference, so she did a medley, along with a salad. There was strawberry shortcake for dessert and an assortment of ice-cream flavors in the freezer, in case he didn’t like the shortcake.
She’d shopped early, then had spent the rest of the morning getting to know Dev’s neighborhood and finding things like the closest dry cleaner and drugstore. After that, she’d been on her own. Alone. Completely alone.
She wasn’t used to having a house to herself. At her parents’ house, there was always someone around. But here…not so much.
She found herself waiting for Dev’s arrival with an eagerness that had a lot to do with finally having someone to talk to, but when he walked through the door to the garage, she wasn’t sure what to say.
Her parents usually came home together. On the rare nights they didn’t, her mother hugged and kissed her father. But that didn’t seem right. Smiling at Dev and asking about his day felt weird, as if she were in some play somewhere.
“Dinner will be ready in about ten minutes,” she said. “Do you usually change into something casual?” She motioned to his suit. “I mean, you have time. Or I can hold dinner.”
“I’ll change later.” He put his briefcase on the floor, leaning against the end of the cabinets and loosened his tie. “Settling in?”
She nodded. He looked good, she thought as he slipped off his jacket, then went to work, rolling up his shirtsleeves. A little wrinkled, but still handsome. She liked the way his stubble shaded his cheeks and jaw.
“I’ve found most of the necessities of life.”
“How are you feeling?” he asked, his gaze intense.
Feeling? What would she be…Oh. “You mean the baby.” She touched her stomach. “Honestly, I don’t feel anything. I don’t know when I’m supposed to start having symptoms and it’s not like I want to ask my mom. I did make a doctor’s appointment for a prenatal checkup.”
“Good. When is it?”
She told him.
“I’ll go with you,” he said. “We’re in this together, so I’m interested in information, too.”
Going with her? “You don’t have to.”
He smiled. “I want to be there through all of this.”
His words gave her a warm kind of glow in her tummy. “Okay. That would be nice. I’ll admit I was a little scared. Just because I’ve never done this before.”
“Me, either.”
She served dinner and they sat at the round table. Dev told her about what had happened at the office that day. When he was finished, she said, “I’ve signed up for summer school. I’m taking calculus.” She wrinkled her nose. “Math is not my thing, but it’s required, so I decided to get it out of the way in one intense, horrible six-week period. I go for three hours a day, four days a week. I start Monday.”
“That’s a lot of calculus.”
“I know. I don’t want to think about the homework, but I keep telling myself by the middle of August, it will be over.”
“This is excellent,” he said, cutting off another piece of meatloaf. “I’m now officially won over by your cooking, but don’t worry if you don’t have time once you’re in school. Getting your education should be your priority.”
“And the baby.”
“The baby won’t arrive until next year.”
She nodded. “I guess I’ll be due in early March.”
“So you can go to the fall semester and then take the spring semester off. And graduate the following January.”
She hadn’t thought that far ahead. “I like that. The baby will be what, six months old when I go back to college? Day care won’t be a problem. There’s a great program at our church. My mom will love being able to see her first grandbaby whenever she wants.”
Whoa—this was a little too much to be dealing with right now. “Speaking of my mom,” she said, deciding for her own peace of mind she needed to shift topics. “She called today. She still wants to do a big party, but that’s going to take some putting together. In the meantime, she would like to throw us a wedding shower. Probably just for girlfriends, if you don’t mind.”
His trapped expression cleared. “I think it’s a good idea. You and your friends will have fun.”
Typical guy, she thought with a smile. “But the thing is, we need to register. People are going to want to buy us gifts. I went through the kitchen and you already have everything. But there’s only one set of china, so maybe something for special occasions?”
“I don’t care about that kind of thing,” he said. “Noelle, pick out what you’d like to have. Then you can take it with you when this is over.”
