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Lucky pushed off the wall. “A few days ago, I rescued you from becoming one of those women, and now—”
“I’m not one of those women,” she insisted, instantly angered by his assumption.
“Then start explaining.”
“Explaining what?” she asked more flippant than intended.
There were no sparkles in his eyes now. “How’d you get on the ship?”
Angering him more wouldn’t get her closer to her goal. She let out a sigh and shrugged. “In a barrel.”
“A barrel?”
She nodded, and refrained from explaining how she’d sneaked out of Mrs. Smother’s house every night—after long hours of being “educated”—and searched for a way to board the boat. Last night, when that barrel had sat at the edge of the dock with the moon shining down on it, she’d been convinced Smitty had put it there. She’d stayed nearby, hiding in the shadows until morning was about to break, and then after scratching the writing on the side, rolled it next to the gangplank and climbed inside. Holding on to the lid had left splinters under her nails she still had to dig out. Once it had been rolled on board, an experience that left her head spinning for hours, she’d sneaked out and hidden below deck.
Lucky rubbed his forehead. “You were in that barrel?”
Although he made no gesture, she knew exactly what barrel he was referring to. “Yes, I was in that barrel. The one you set upside down.” She then pointed out, “It clearly said ‘this side up.’”
“You wrote that?”
“I saw it on some of the other crates and barrels.” Giving him a steady stare, she added, “I assumed you knew how to read.”
“I do know how to read, even chicken scratches.”
Catching the insult, she went with her gut reaction and stuck her tongue out at him.
He laughed, and the night air seemed to carry the sound away in waves. She shot him a glare that told him just what she thought of his attitude and then turned to look out at the water. The moon was out—a huge orange ball in the middle of a twinkling sky. Its light cast a long yellow reflection into the water, almost in a straight line that ended right where she stood.
Maddie drew in a deep breath and wondered if it really was Smitty up there watching over her, showing her she was on the right path. She could almost hear the old man’s laugh, telling her it was him and that he was lighting her way. Smitty had his grumpy moments, too, therefore, young or not, Lucky’s ill temperament or his insults didn’t overly concern her.
He turned around and set both hands on the rail. Maddie didn’t look at him, but she did tell him, “I have to go to Alaska.”
“Alaska’s no place for women.”
The seriousness of his tone had her glancing his way. One of the other girls back at Mrs. Smother’s had asked about him, claimed he was handsome. She’d been young and said Lucky had rescued her the year before. Although Maddie had been focused on escaping, the other girl’s admission had caught her attention and Maddie had asked why she was still at Mrs. Smother’s place. The girl said training to become a proper servant took time, which had increased Maddie’s desire to leave. A year at Mrs. Smother’s would have turned her batty.
Right now, though, Maddie was supposing the girl had been right about Lucky. He was handsome, but she tried not to look at him because it made her cheeks grow warm. She turned her gaze back to the water. “But it’s a place for miners,” she said, “and that’s what I am. A miner.”
His silence said he didn’t believe her.
“I am,” she insisted. “I mined gold for over four years in Colorado. We didn’t hit it big, but only because our claim was paid out before Smitty bought it. We couldn’t move on, but with his guidance, I found enough to keep us going.” Determination stiffened her spine. “I’ll find it in Alaska, too, I know I will.”
“Who’s Smitty?” Lucky asked. “Your father?”
“No, he wasn’t my father.” Exposing her past was not in her plan. Yet gold was what she needed to put everything behind her, and Lucky was her way to gold. Considering that, she admitted, “I did pretend to be his daughter, though. In order to get the medicine he needed. That’s why I kept dredging gold, too.” Turning, lifting her face toward the moon that appeared even brighter now, she added thoughtfully, “Smitty and I were a team. Two people who didn’t have anyone else. We didn’t need anyone else, either.”
“What happened to him?”
“He died.” A strong and invisible power clenched her heart. She hadn’t wanted to leave before he died, but Smitty had made her. Said he didn’t want her waking up one morning and finding him dead. Therefore, he’d trekked down the mountain beside her, so weak he could barely stand, and in Cutter’s Gulch, he’d set her on the train, with boarding passes that would take her all the way to California. Inside, she knew he never made it back to their claim, the cave they’d used as a home for years, and someday, when she had the money, she’d return to Cutter’s Gulch, find his grave and place a huge headstone there, for the greatest man she’d ever known.
“Maddie?”
Blinking, she pulled her gaze off the moon and turned toward Lucky.
“I asked when Smitty died.”
She nodded, having possibly heard his question while deep in thought. “Last fall.”
“You’ve been alone since then? On your own?”
A lump filled her throat. “Being alone and on your own are two different things,” she whispered. Smitty wouldn’t want her focusing on the past instead of the future, so she tossed her head slightly, shattering dark and gloomy thoughts aside. “But now I’m on my way to Alaska.”
“Trig might have something to say about that,” Lucky said. “He laid out good money—”
“I know,” she interrupted, holding up a hand. “Mrs. Smother informed me the captain paid for my stay at her place, my training, even the dress I’m wearing, and I’ll repay him every cent. I promise.” Taking a step back, she lifted her chin and pulled forth all the grit and determination Smitty insisted filled her. “I don’t want to be a servant. I want to have servants, and I will someday. I swear it.”
He shook his head as if he didn’t believe her, and that made her stomach burn. Before he could speak, she declared, “I know how to find gold. I know what to look for, how to pan. I’ve built sluices and rockers, and I—”
“But are you prepared to live in a tent, in the wilderness, with—”
“I’ve lived in tents, and caves, and dugouts. In the wilderness and on the plains.”
“You have?”
Nothing would stop her. Not her past, and not a man. “Yes, I have. Matter of fact, I’ve never lived in a house. Not for any length of time. Never had a real bed I could call my own, either.” Standing taller, she added, “There’s nothing about Alaska that scares me.”
He cocked his head to one side and tiny sparks of light returned to his eyes as he grinned. “I believe that, Maddie, but I’d be remiss if I didn’t say that you should be scared. It’s a wild, untamed country.”
“There are a lot of wild and untamed places,” she said. “I know. I’ve lived in some.”
Lucky was rubbing his chin, and Maddie was sure he was about to say something else, but a shout sounded first.
“There she is!”
Chapter Three (#ulink_629e13de-3326-51c1-b057-87dc66d47dbd)
Cole, in his uncle’s cabin, along with Trig and Robbie, plopped onto the chair next to the captain’s built-in desk. “What are you talking about?”
“Why’d you tell them that?” Robbie repeated.
“Tell who what? I just went below to see what all the cackling was about.”
“Somehow those women got the understanding you and that stowaway are married,” Robbie said.
A chill wrapped around Cole’s spine like seaweed on a fishing line. “I didn’t— I’d never say anything like that,” he insisted. “All I said was that I’d kick you out of our cabin so...” The chill increased. “Shit,” he muttered. Women always misunderstood things. Our cabin. As in his and hers, not his and Robbie’s. “I was thinking about waking you up so you could take care of them. Those women were ready to throw Maddie overboard.”
Uncle Trig scratched his head with both hands. “Well, they assumed by what you said that she’s your wife and that’s why she’s on this ship. Robbie promised them there weren’t any other passengers.”
Cole’s stomach clenched. He hadn’t escaped one marriage just to be shanghaied into another.
“There weren’t supposed to be any other passengers,” Robbie said from where he sat on the bed, rubbing his eyes and yawning. “Where’d she come from?”
“Hester,” Trig said.
“Why didn’t you deliver her to Mrs. Smother’s?” Robbie asked.
“I did.”
“How’d she get on board?”
Cole blew out a long breath. Trig wouldn’t force marriage upon him, especially not to a stowaway. “In a barrel.” He withheld the grin trying to form and asked his uncle, “What are you going to do with her?”
Uncle Trig let out a raspy guffaw. “We aren’t turning around, I’ll tell you that. We’re set to be one of the first boats to arrive in Alaska this spring.” He crossed the small cabin and shrugged out of his coat. While hooking it on the nail on the wall, he said, “The women have settled down, believing she is your wife, and that’s how we’re going to leave it.”
A shudder raced through Cole. “I’m not—”
“You want a mutiny?” Trig asked. “You want to see that girl thrown overboard? If those women find out they’re being lied to, that’s exactly what will happen.” Shaking his head, he declared, “A hundred men, I could handle. A dozen women...” His gaze went to Robbie. “Will never sail on one of my ships again.”
Robbie turned a bit sheepish, but Cole still couldn’t breathe.
“She’s a smart girl,” Trig said. “I’ll talk to her tomorrow about the importance of letting those women believe their assumption.”
Cole held in a protest—it wasn’t worth the effort right now—but that didn’t stop disgust from lining his guts.
“All right, then,” Trig said. “It’s settled. Cole, you’ll just have to take most of the night shifts, letting Maddie sleep in your cabin. Robbie will bunk with me. During the day, while you get some sleep, she can stay in here.”
“We could—” Cole started, convinced he could come up with a better plan if he had time to hash it out.
“What’s done is done,” Trig interrupted. “It’s not that long of a trip, and hopefully once we hit Alaska they’ll forget all about it.” Waving Robbie off his bed and pointing toward the hammock hanging loose against one wall, he instructed, “Hook that back up. I need to get some sleep.” Turning to Cole, he said, “Your shift’s not over. Try to keep those hens from clucking any more tonight.”
* * *
The gnawing of guilt wasn’t new to Maddie. A person who’d been born unwanted was used to it. Blaming herself for things for as long as she could remember wasn’t new, either, but this time it was different. Lucky was mad, and she was the reason. When they did encounter, his eyes didn’t twinkle and there was no perpetual smile on his lips like when she’d sailed from California to Seattle. Trig, though, was as jovial as before, even while explaining the trip to Alaska was over three thousand miles and would take several weeks.
The length of the trip hadn’t bothered her, but the other things he told her did. How on earth was she supposed to pretend to be married? She not only knew nothing about marriage, but she didn’t want to know anything about it.
There were, however, other things she did need to know.
Five days had passed since the night she’d been discovered. The women’s sneers were easy to avoid; she simply retreated to Trig’s cabin whenever they left the hull, which unfortunately, was the better part of most days. As long as it wasn’t raining.
Avoiding Lucky was about as simple, since he took his turn of steering the ship at night and slept during the day; however, she didn’t want to avoid him. His books were no longer answering the questions she had, and all Trig or Robbie, who was rather pleasant to be around, would say was she’d have to ask Lucky.
Captain Trig, after explaining the misunderstanding—about her and Lucky being married—had said her appearance hadn’t shocked him. She’d thanked him for understanding and for not throwing her overboard—at which he’d laughed—and after explaining Mrs. Smother’s training program would never have worked for her, she’d offered him her nugget in partial repayment for all she’d cost him.
He’d refused to take it, and that was when he’d told her Lucky would be staying in Alaska to search for gold. Maddie struggled to contain her excitement. Being cooped up in the cabin and unable to question Lucky felt worse than waiting out a snowstorm in the dead of winter.
Trying not to cause more anger, she made sure to be out of the cabin early each morning so Lucky could go there to sleep. It wasn’t hard, being up so early. The inactivity of her days was wearing and made sleeping difficult. Not even reading helped. Her mind grew tired from her constant ponderings, but not her body.
Maddie shifted her gaze to peer out the little window beside the bunk and let out the air that sat heavy in her chest. Here she was, lying on the bed, staring into the blank darkness again and unable to sleep because of the energy she hadn’t been able to use up during the day.
When a knock sounded, she sat up. “Come in.”
“Sorry to disturb you,” Lucky said. “I just need a coat. It’s a chilly night.”
“You didn’t disturb me.” She found the nearby lamp and flint box and lit the wick. “I wasn’t asleep.”
His gaze settled on her briefly as he walked to the foot of the bunk where nails held a couple of coats. She’d eyed those jackets more than once, expecting she’d need a coat once they arrived in Alaska. There were so many things she’d need, and wasn’t sure how to obtain them. She now had an extra dress. The one from Mrs. Smother. She’d kept her old one, once she’d laundered it—that had been her first lesson in domestic chores, as Mrs. Smother had called it—and she’d never parted with her petticoat and the nugget sewn in it. It was what she’d use to outfit herself for gold mining, but that little nugget wasn’t going to be enough.
Watching Lucky pull down a coat, the thought of what the women below believed made her insides burn with embarrassment. “I promised Captain Trig I wouldn’t say anything to the women about what you told them.”
“I didn’t tell them anything. They assumed.”
She nodded. “He told me that. I’m sorry about putting you in such a predicament.”
Putting on his coat, he let out a snort that held disgust. “Predicament? That’s not what I’d call it.”
His orneriness was a bit irritating. It wasn’t as if she’d done it on purpose. “I don’t like it any more than you do,” she responded.
He scowled.
She let out the air once again heavy in her chest. “I will never get married, and even pretending to be galls me.”
“It galls you?”
“Yes, it galls me.” The cabin was tiny, and made smaller by his large frame filling half of it, yet he didn’t make the space feel uncomfortable, just stuffy with his attitude. She swung her legs over the edge of the bunk and the book she’d been reading earlier fell onto the floor.
It landed next to his feet. He picked it up and handed it to her. “I thought every woman wanted to get married.”
Running a hand over the cover, she said, “Maybe the foolish ones. I plan on having gold. Lots of it. Why would I want to have to share it with someone? A husband, I mean. They’d claim it was theirs as much as it was mine and spend it as they chose.” Her father had done that with the gold she and Smitty had found. Claimed it was partially his since she was his daughter. She set the book on the bed. “I won’t have that.” Not wanting to sound completely callous, she said, “I won’t be a miser. I’ll spend my money. Pay Captain Trig back and buy the things I want. Even share it, but I don’t want anyone telling me what I have to do with it. What I can do with it.”
“What if you don’t find any gold?”
“Not find any gold?” She stood. “I’ll find gold, Lucky. I promise you that.” Encouraged by the tiny half smile that appeared on his face, she added, “I’ll find some for you, too.”
He laughed. “I don’t need anyone finding gold for me. I’ll be finding my own.” When she started to follow him toward the door, he asked, “Where are you going?”
Not embarrassed to tell him, she said, “To the back of the boat.”
He waved toward the wall of the cabin. “You better grab my other coat. It’s chilly out tonight.” Then without waiting to see if she did or not, he opened the door and left.
After using the facilities and thankful the oiled canvas coat blocked the wind, Maddie took a stroll along the rail to use up some energy before attempting to sleep again. Lucky stood behind the big wheel, both hands wrapped around the wooden handles that jutted out all the way around the wheel. The fact he’d spoken to her a few moments ago gave her the courage to walk over and stand beside him.
Smitty had been the only friend she’d ever had, and a raw hole had appeared inside her since she had left him in Colorado. Captain Trig’s kindness had helped, but a friend wasn’t what she needed right now. A partner was. One person could scratch up enough gold to live on, but two people could find enough to set a future, and that was what she wanted. A future.
“I meant what I told you,” she said when Lucky glanced her way. “I’m sorry to have caused such trouble.”
Considering she only came up to his shoulder, Lucky glanced down at her, and though he didn’t say anything, the distrust in his eyes made her insides churn. She tugged the big coat tighter, wrapping the open front around her almost like a blanket. “I meant the other part, too, about never getting married.”
