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Silence as she stared at him. He explained: ‘My friend’s friend said you were actually your husband’s boss. So I wanted to know.’
She glanced away, mouth tight for just an instant.
‘Come on,’ she said, and led him through the living room to the kitchen.
There she opened the refrigerator and got out a pitcher of iced tea. ‘Have a seat,’ she said, indicating the kitchen table.
‘Maybe I should move my van into the driveway,’ Frank remembered. ‘I didn’t want to shock you by driving in, and I left it out on the road.’
‘That was nice. Yeah, go move it in. At least for now.’
He did so, his mind racing. It was definitely foolish of her to remain exposed like this. Probably they should be leaving immediately.
He re-entered the kitchen to find her sitting at the table before two glasses of iced tea, looking down at the lake. His Caroline. He sat down across from her, took a drink.
She looked at him across the table. ‘I was not Ed’s boss,’ she said. ‘He was reassigned to another program. When I first came to the office, I was part of his team. I was working for him. But when the futures market program was established I was put in charge of it, and I reported to some people outside our office. Ed kept doing his own surveillance, and his group used what we were documenting, when they thought it would help them. That’s the way it was when you and I met. Then he moved again, like I told you, over to Homeland Security.’
She took a sip of her drink, met his eye again. ‘I never lied to you Frank. I never have and I never will. I’ve had enough of that kind of thing. More than you’ll ever know. I can’t stand it anymore.’
‘Good,’ Frank said, feeling awkward. ‘But tell me – I mean, this is another thing I’ve really wondered about, that I’ve never remembered to ask you – what were you doing on that boat during the big flood, on the Potomac?’
Surprised, she said, ‘That’s Ed’s boat. I was going up to get him off Roosevelt Island.’
‘That was quite a time to be out on the river.’
‘Yes, it was. But he was helping some folks at the marina get their boats off, and we had already taken a few down to below Alexandria, and on one of the trips he stayed behind to help free up a boat, while I ferried one of the groups downstream. So it was kind of back and forth.’
‘Ah.’ Frank put a hand onto the table, reaching toward her. ‘I’m sorry,’ he said. ‘I didn’t know what to think. You know – we never have had much time. Whenever we’ve gotten together, there’s been more to say than time to say it.’
She smiled. ‘Too busy with other stuff.’ And she put her hand on his.
He turned his palm up, and they intertwined fingers, squeezed hands. This was a whole different category of questions and answers. Do you still love me? Yes, I still love you. Do you still want me? Yes, I still want you. Yes. All that he had felt briefly before, during that hard hug on the garden path, was confirmed.
Frank took a deep breath. A flow of calmness spread from his held hand up his arm and then through the rest of him. Most of him.
‘It’s true,’ he said. ‘We’ve never had enough time. But now we do, so – tell me more. Tell me everything.’
‘Okay. But you too.’
‘Sure.’
But then they sat there, and it seemed too artificial just to begin their life histories or whatever. They let their hands do the talking for a while instead. They drank tea. She began to talk a little about coming to this place when she was a girl. Then about being a jock, as she put it – how Frank loved that – and how that had gotten her into various kinds of trouble, somehow. ‘Maybe it was a matter of liking the wrong kind of guys. Guys who are jocks are not always nice. There’s a certain percentage of assholes, and I could never tell in time.’ Reading detective stories when she was a girl. Nancy Drew and Sue Grafton and Sara Paretsky, all of them leading her down the garden path toward intelligence, first at the CIA (‘I wish I had never left’), then to a promotion, or what had seemed like a promotion, over to Homeland Security. That was where she had met Ed. The way at first he had seemed so calm, so capable, and in just the areas she was then getting interested in. The intriguing parts of spook work. The way it had let her be outdoors, or at least out and about – at first. Like a kind of sport. ‘Ah yeah,’ Frank put in, thinking of the fun of tracking animals. ‘I did jobs like that too, sometimes. I wanted that too.’
Then the ways things had changed, and gone wrong, in both work and marriage. How bad it had gotten. Here she grew vague and seemed to suppress some agitation or grimness. She kept looking out the window, as did Frank. A car passed and they both were too distracted by it to go on.
‘Anyway, then you and I got stuck in the elevator,’ she resumed. She stopped, thinking about that perhaps; shook her head, looked out the kitchen window at the driveway again. ‘Let’s get out of here,’ she said abruptly. ‘I don’t like … Why don’t we go for a drive in your van. I can show you some of the island, and I can get some time to think things through. I can’t think here right now. It’s giving me the creeps that you’re here, I mean in the sense of … And we can put your van someplace else, if I decide to come back here. You know. Just in case. I actually have my car parked down at the other end of the lake. I’ve been sailing down to it when I want to drive somewhere.’
‘Sailing?’
‘Iceboating.’
‘Ah. Okay,’ Frank said. They got up. ‘But – do you think we even ought to come back here?’
She frowned. He could see she was getting irritated or upset. His arrival had messed up what she had thought was a good thing. Her refuge. ‘I’m not sure,’ she said uneasily. ‘I don’t think Ed will ever be able to find that one call I made to Mary. I made it from a pay phone I’ve never used before or since.’
‘But – if he’s searching for something? For an old connection?’
‘Yes, I know.’ She gave him an odd look. ‘I don’t know. Let’s get going. I can think about it better when I get away from here.’
He saw that it was as he had feared; to her, his arrival was simply bad news. He wondered for a second if she had planned ever to contact him again.
They walked up the road to Frank’s van, and he drove them back toward Somesville, following her instructions. She looked into all the cars going past them the other way. They drove around the head of the sound, then east through more forests, past more lakes.
Eventually she had him park at a feature called Bubble Rock, which turned out to be a big glacial erratic, perched improbably on the side of a polished granite dome. Frank looked at the rocky slopes rising to both sides of the road, amazed; he had never seen granite on the east coast before. It was as if a little patch of the Sierra Nevada had been detached by a god and cast over to the Atlantic. The granite was slightly pinker than in the Sierra, but otherwise much the same.
‘Let’s go up the Goat Trail,’ she said. ‘You’ll like it, and I need to do something.’
She led him along the road until it reached a frozen lake just under the South Bubble, then crossed the road and stood facing the steep granite slope flanking this long lake.
‘That’s Jordan Pond, and this is Pemetic Mountain’ – gesturing at the slope above them. ‘And somewhere here is the start of the Goat Trail.’ She walked back and forth, scanning the broken jumble of steep rock looming over them. A very unlikely spot to begin a trail. The pink-gray granite was blackened with lichen, had the same faulted structure as any granite wall shaved by a glacier. In this case the ice resting on it had been a mile thick.
‘My friend’s father was really into the trails on the island, and he took us out and told us all about them,’ Caroline said. ‘Ah ha.’ She pointed at a rusted iron rod protruding from a big slab of rock, about head high. She started up past it, using her hands for balance and the occasional extra pull up. ‘This was the first one, he said. It’s more of a marked route than a real trail. It’s not on the maps anymore. See, there’s the next trail duck.’ Pointing above.
‘Ah yeah.’ Frank followed, watching her. This was his Caroline. She climbed with a sure touch. They had never done anything normal together before. She had talked about being a bicyclist, going for runs. This slope was easy but steep, and in places icy. A jock. Suddenly he felt the Caroline surge that had been there waiting in him all along.
Then the dark rock reared up into a wall of broken battlements thirty or forty feet high, one atop the next. Caroline led the way up through breaks in these walls, following a route marked by small stacks of flat rocks. In one of these gullies the bottom of the crack was filled with big flat stones set on top of each other in a rough but obvious staircase; this was as much of a trail as Frank had yet seen. ‘Mary’s father wouldn’t even step on those stones,’ Caroline said, and laughed. ‘He said it would be like stepping on a painting or something. A work of art. We used to laugh so much at him.’
‘I should think the guy who made the trail would like it to be used.’
‘Yes, that’s what we said.’
As they ascended they saw three or four more of these little staircases, always making a hard section easier. After an hour or so the slope laid back in a graceful curve, and they were on the rounded top of the hill. Pemetic Mountain, said a wooden sign on a post stuck into a giant pile of stones. 1,247 feet.
The top was an extensive flat ridge, running south toward the ocean. Its knobby bare rock was interspersed with low bushes and sandy patches. Lichen of several different colors spotted the bedrock and the big erratics left on the ridge by the ice – some granite, others schist. Exposed rock showed glacial scouring and some remaining glacial polish. It resembled any such knob in the Sierra, although the vegetation was a bit more lush. But the air had a distinct salt tang, and off to the south was the vast plate of the ocean, blue as could be, starting just a couple miles away at the foot of the ridge. Amazing. Forested islands dotted the water offshore; wisps of fog lay farther out to sea. To the immediate right and left rose other mountain tops, all rounded to the same whaleback shape. The peaks to both east and west were higher than this one, and the biggest one, to the east, had a road running up its side, and a number of radio towers poking up through its summit forest. The ice cap had carved deep slots between the peaks, working down into fault lines in the granite between each dome. Behind them, to the north, lay the forested low hills of Maine, trees green over snowy ground.
‘Beautiful,’ Frank said. ‘It’s mountains and ocean both. I can’t believe it.’
Caroline gave him a hug. ‘I was hoping you would like it.’
‘Oh yes. I didn’t know the east coast had such a place as this.’
‘There’s nowhere else quite like it,’ she said.
They hugged for so long it threatened to become something else; then they separated and wandered the peak plateau for a while. It was cold in the wind, and Caroline shivered and suggested they return. ‘There’s a real trail down the northeast side, the Ravine Trail. It goes down a little cut in the granite.’
‘Okay.’
They headed off the northeast shoulder of the hill, and were quickly down into scrubby trees. Here the ice had hit the rock head on, and the enormous pressures had formed the characteristic upstream side of a drumlin: smooth, rounded, polished, any flaw stripped open. And exposed to air for no more than ten thousand years; thus there was hardly any soil on this slope, which meant all the trees on it were miniaturized. They hiked down a good trail through this krummholz like giants.
It was a familiar experience for Frank, and yet this time he was following the lithe and graceful figure of his lover or girlfriend or he didn’t know what, descending neatly before him, like a tree goddess. Some kind of happiness or joy or desire began to seep under his worry. Surely it had been a good idea to come here. He had had to do it; he couldn’t have not done it.
The trail led them into the top of a narrow couloir in the granite, a flaw from which all loose rock had been plucked. Cedar beams were set crosswise in the bottom of this ravine, forming big solid stairs, somewhat snowed over. The sidewalls were covered with lichen, moss, ice. When they came out of the bottom of the couloir, the stairboxes underfoot were replaced by a long staircase of immense rectangular granite blocks.
‘This is more like the usual trail on the east side,’ Caroline said, pointing at these monstrous field stones. ‘For a while, the thing they liked to do was make granite staircases, running up every fault line they could find. Sometimes there’ll be four or five hundred stairs in a row.’
‘You’re kidding.’
‘No. Every peak on the east side has three or four trails like that running up them, sometimes right next to each other. The redundancy didn’t bother them at all.’
‘So they really were works of art.’
‘Yes. But the National Park didn’t get it, and when they took over they closed a lot of the trails and took them off the maps. But since the trails have these big staircases in them, they last whether they’re maintained or not. Mary’s dad collected old maps, and was part of a group that went around finding the old trails. Now the park is restoring some of them.’
‘I’ve never seen anything like it.’
‘I don’t think there is anything like it. Even here they only did this for a few years. It was like a fad. But a fad in granite never goes away.’
Frank laughed. ‘It looks like something the Incas might have done.’
‘It does, doesn’t it?’ She stopped and looked back up the snowy stone steps, splotchy here with pale green lichen.
‘I can see why you would want to stay here,’ Frank said cautiously when they started again.
‘Yes. I love it.’
‘But …’
‘I think I’m okay,’ she said.
For a while they went back and forth on this, saying much the same things they had said at the house. Whether Ed would look at her subjects, whether he would be able to find Mary …
Finally Frank shrugged. ‘You don’t want to leave here.’
‘It’s true,’ she said. ‘I like it here. And I feel hidden.’
‘But now you know better. Someone looked for you and they found you. That’s got to be the main thing.’
‘I guess,’ she muttered.
They came to the road they had parked beside. They walked back to his van and she had him drive south, down the shore of Jordan Pond.
‘Some of my first memories are from here,’ she said, looking out the window at the lake. ‘We came almost every summer. I always loved it. That lasted for several years, I’d guess, but then her parents got divorced and I stopped seeing her, and so I stopped coming.’
‘Ah.’
‘So, we did start college together and roomed that first year, but to tell the truth, I hadn’t thought of her for years. But when I was thinking about how to really get away, if I ever wanted to, I remembered it. I never talked to Ed about Mary, and I just made the one call to her here from a pay phone.’
‘What did you say to her?’
‘I gave her the gist of the situation. She was willing to let me stay.’
‘That’s good. Unless, you know … I just don’t know. I mean, you tell me just how dangerous these guys are. Some shots were fired that night in the park, after you left. My friends were the ones who started it, but your ex and his friends definitely shot back. And so, given that …’
Now she looked appalled. ‘I didn’t know.’
‘Yeah. I also … I threw a rock at your ex,’ he added lamely.
‘You what?’
‘I threw my hand axe at him. I saw a look on his face I didn’t like, and I just did it.’
She squeezed his hand. Her face had the grim inward expression it took on whenever she was thinking about her ex. ‘I know that look,’ she muttered. ‘I hate it too.’ And then: ‘I’m sorry I’ve gotten you into this.’
‘No. Anyway, I missed him. Luckily. But he saw the rock go by his head, or felt it. He took off running down the Metro stairs. So he definitely knows something is up.’ Frank didn’t mention going by their apartment afterward and ringing the doorbell; he was already embarrassed enough about the hand axe. ‘So, what I’m still worried about is if he starts looking, and, you know, happens to replicate what my friend’s friend did.’
‘I know.’ She sighed. ‘I guess I’m hoping that he’s not all that intent on me anymore. I have him chipped, and he’s always in D.C., at the office, moving from room to room. I’ve got him covered in a number of ways – a spot cam on our apartment entry, and things like that, and he seems to be following his ordinary routine.’
‘Even so – he could be doing that while sending some of his team here to check things out.’
She thought about it. Sighed a big sigh. ‘I hate to leave here when there might not be a reason to.’
Frank said nothing; his presence was itself proof of a reason. Thus his appearance had indeed been a bad thing. The transitive law definitely applied to emotions.
She had directed him through some turns, and now they were driving around the head of Somes Sound again, back toward her place. As he slowed through Somesville, he said, ‘Where should we put my van?’
She ran her hands through her short curls, thinking it over. ‘Let’s put it down where my car is. I’m parked at the south end of Long Pond, at the pump house there. First drop me off at the house, then drive down there, and I’ll sail down on the iceboat and pick you up.’
So he turned at the firehouse, drove to her camp and dropped her off at the house, feeling nervous as he did so. Then he followed her instructions, back toward Southwest Harbor, then west through the forest again, on a winding small road. He only had a rough sense of where he was, but then he was driving down an incline, and the smooth white surface of Long Pond appeared through the trees. The southern end of its long arm was walled on both sides by steep granite slopes, six or seven hundred feet high: a pure glacial U, floored by a lake.
He parked in the little parking lot by the pump house and got out. The wind from the north slammed him in the face. Far up the lake he saw a tiny sail appear as if out of the rock wall to the left. It looked like a big windsurfing sail. Faster than he would have thought possible it grew larger, and the iceboat swept up to the shore, Caroline at the tiller, turning it in a neat curlicue at the end, to lose speed and drift backwards to shore.
‘Amazing,’ Frank said.
‘Here, wait – park your van up in those trees, just past the stop sign up there.’
Frank did so and then returned to the craft, stepped in and stowed his daypack before the mast. The iceboat was a wooden triangular thing, obviously handmade, more like a big soap box derby car than a boat. Three heavy struts extended from the cockpit box, one ahead and two sideways and back from the cockpit. It was an odd-looking thing, but the mast and sails seemed to have been scavenged from an ordinary sloop, and Caroline was obviously familiar with it. Her face was flushed with the wind, and she looked pleased in a way Frank had never seen before. She pulled the sail taut and twisted the tiller, which set the angles of the big metal skates out at the ends of the rear struts, and with a clatter they gained speed and were off in a chorus of scraping.
The iceboat did not heel in the wind, but when gusts struck it merely squeaked and slid along even faster, the skates making a loud clattery hiss. When a really strong gust hit, the craft rocketed forward with a palpable jolt. Frank’s eyes watered heavily under the assault of the wind. He ducked when Caroline told him to, their heads together as the boom swung over them as part of a big curving tack. To get up the narrow lake against the wind they would have to tack a lot; the craft did not appear able to hold too close to the wind.
As they worked their way north, Caroline explained that Mary’s grandfather had built the iceboat out of wood left over from when he had built the garage. ‘He built everything there, even some of the furniture. He dug out the cellar, built the chimney, the terraces, the dock and rowboats …’ Mary’s father had told them about this; Caroline had met the grandfather only once, when she was very young.
‘This last month I’ve been feeling like he’s still around the place, like a ghost, but in the best kind of way. The first night I got here the electricity wasn’t on and there was no sound at all. I never realized how used to noise we’ve gotten. That there’s always some kind of sound, even if it’s only the refrigerator.’
‘Usually it’s a lot more than that,’ Frank said, thinking of how D.C. sounded from his treehouse.
‘Yes. But this time it was completely quiet. I began to hear myself breathing. I could even hear my heart beat. And then there was a loon on the lake. It was so beautiful. And I thought of Mary’s grandfather building everything, and it seemed like he was there. Not a voice, just part of the house somehow. It was comforting.’
‘Good for him,’ Frank said. He liked the sound of such a moment, also the fact that she had noticed it. It occurred to him again how little he knew her. She was watching the ice ahead of the boat, holding the boom line and the tiller in place, making small adjustments, splayed in the cockpit as if holding a kind of dance position with the wind. And there they were barreling across the frozen surface of the lake, the ice blazing in a low tarnished sun that was smeared out in long bars of translucid cloud – the wind frigid, and flying through him as if the gusts were stabs of feeling for her – for the way she was capable, the way she liked it out here. He had thought she would be like this, but they had spent so little time together he could not be sure. But now he was seeing it. His Caroline, real in the sunlight and the wind. A gust of wind was a surge of feeling.
