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She shook as memories bombarded her. “I’ve never known such hate. I can’t think about it or I lose myself in the rage.”
“No,” he agreed, “you can’t dwell on the bad.” He lifted her chin so she looked into his intense green gaze, so close she could see the scars on his soul, and she knew he knew. “You have to focus on the good you did. You can’t let the hate win or she won’t be the only victim.”
“That’s what the counselor said. And most of the time I can deal with it. Monitoring the public Web site gives me a sense of being proactive. Being responsible for young kids is huge, and I want to be able to protect them when they’re in my care. If I can recognize a predator before he harms a child, it’s worth the effort.”
“I think you’re brilliant. Now, what can we do to put a smile back on your face?” He eased away, but his hand warmed the small of her back, holding her steady. “Do you want to see how my handcuffs work?”
“No,” she mumbled, as she took the tissue he handed her. As she mopped her face and his heat retreated, she realized what an emotional mess she’d become. How mortifying. Trace must want to be anywhere but here right now. But as she peeked at him around the tissue he looked anything but terrorized.
“Nikki,” he said. Her name. Nothing more. But the softness of it, the intimacy of it, broke down the distance his persistent formality upheld between them.
Even as her mind shouted bad idea, Trace stepped close again, lowered his head, and claimed her mouth. On a catch of breath, she opened to him, and he deepened the kiss. A hard arm around her waist swept her closer to him, so they touched from shoulder to thighs, his strength and confidence an intoxicating combination as she melted in his arms.
Ignoring the warnings clamoring through her head, she surrendered to the passion, meeting his tongue with hers in a sliding dance of desire.
It felt so good to be held, to lean—just for a moment—on someone strong and giving.
She drew back at the thought, recognizing despite her passion-drenched senses the fallacy of her conception. She had no right to lean on Trace. This was a moment out of time for her. For him.
She had no doubts he’d be as appalled as she once they regained their equilibrium. Stepping back, she cleared her throat, seeking a less-dangerous distraction.
He’d been wonderful, actually. It had really helped to talk to someone who understood. But time to let him off the hook.
She lowered the tissue and batted her eyes at him. “I don’t think I’m ready for handcuffs, but you can let me shoot your gun.”
His gaze blazed a molten emerald heat. It took him a moment to move from hot and bothered to cool, calm lawman. Blinking, he cleared his eyes and propped his hands on his gun belt. He narrowed his eyes at her. “You want to shoot my gun?”
“Yes, please.”
He shifted his gaze from her to the sleeping baby then back. “Now you’re just pushing my buttons. This isn’t the time or place for target practice.”
“Okay, yeah, a little.” She cleared the thickness from her throat and tossed the tissue into a nearby trashcan. “But maybe we could go to the range sometime.”
“Guns aren’t toys, you know.” He looked so torn—all macho cop, but still wanting to distract her from her emotional meltdown. How sweet was that?
“Actually, I do know. My dad was a navy chief. He taught me to shoot. We used to go to the range together.”
“Really?” Clearly surprised, he swept his emerald gaze over her with a new level of interest that had her breath catching in the back of her throat.
“Well, then, it’s a date.”
“He asked you on a date?” Amanda’s fierce whisper shouted her amazement. “I knew having a hot boss was going to be trouble. What’d you say?”
“No need to get so agitated.” Nikki shushed her sister. “It wasn’t really a question. And no definite plans were made. Thank goodness. I told you the agency forbids romantic interaction between nannies and clients. I don’t want to lose this job when you have less than a month before you’re due.”
With a disgusted toss of her head, Amanda settled back in her metal folding chair. “No fair, teasing the pregnant lady.”
They were seated on the aisle at the back of Sampson Hall, waiting for the community meeting to start. Mickey still slept in his stroller. After her visit with Trace, and their shared moment together, Nikki had walked across the park, needing the quiet stroll to gather her composure.
The kiss and Trace’s mention of a date had thrown her heart into turmoil. These past weeks she’d tried so hard to keep her professionalism wrapped around her, to keep his strength and vulnerability from getting to her.
“Hey, you’re supposed to be talking sense to me, not seeking vicarious thrills.” Okay, Nikki would not be sharing news of the kiss with her sister. She needed Amanda to help bolster her resistance, not encourage her to pursue the enemy. Mickey had already stolen her heart; she couldn’t afford to give any of it away to Trace. That way led straight to heartache.
“My husband is gone again, after being away for five months, and I’m the size of an elephant.” Amanda patted her swollen belly with love and resignation. “I’ll take my thrills where I can find them.”
Nikki shot Amanda an aggravated frown. “Not at my expense. You’re not even supposed to be here.”
“I didn’t want to miss the meeting, and I’m just sitting. Come on, just give me a few details. I need something to keep my mind off the ticking clock. I can’t believe how much I want this over at the same time as I’m dreading labor and the birth.”
Nikki squeezed her sister’s hand. “You’re going to do fine.”
“I’d do better if Dan were here.”
Hearing the tears in Amanda’s voice, Nikki gave in. Amanda needed distracting, and Nikki needed to talk. It was also a reminder of how vulnerable Amanda was, how much she needed Nikki to stay close. Which meant no more stolen kisses with the boss.
“Okay, the truth is I asked him out.”
“What?” Amanda squealed, causing Mickey to flinch in his sleep. “What about the agency rules? I thought you were determined to keep your distance.”
Nikki rubbed Mickey’s belly until he settled. “I was. I am. It’s just keeping my objectivity is harder than I anticipated.”
“Duh. The man is gorgeous.”
“He’s also intelligent, brave, dedicated and caring, though he tries hard to hide the last one.”
A furrow marred Amanda’s brows as her concerned gaze met Nikki’s. “You’re falling for him. Oh, babe, you have to stop.”
“Don’t be ridiculous.”
“I know you and your soft heart. These two are getting to you. Why else would you ask Trace out?”
Nikki waved a dismissive hand. “It wasn’t like that. We were in the middle of a heavy moment. I just wanted to distract him.”
“By asking him on a date? Are you out of your mind?” Amanda shifted in the uncomfortable chair. “What was the heavy moment about?”
Nikki explained about the tour and the difficult discussion, carefully playing down the part where she’d fallen apart in his arms. “He was trying so hard to make me feel better. I just needed to change the subject.”
“So you asked him out?”
“I told him I wanted to shoot his gun.”
Amanda just stared at Nikki, slowly shaking her head. “Tell me you’re joking.”
It was Nikki’s turn to shake her head.
“He could interpret that in so many ways!”
“Amanda.” Nikki stopped her. “It wasn’t like that.” Oh, God, it had been exactly like that. “Nothing is going to come of it, so there’s no reason to rehash the whole thing.”
“I thought you needed me to talk you down from the edge.”
“Let’s say you scared me straight and call it done. I’m going to get us some food. Stay put and keep an eye on Mickey.” Grateful for a chance to escape, Nikki slipped from her seat.
“Mickey wants chocolate cake,” Amanda said hopefully.
“Yeah, right. Mickey’s playing hooky, and his doctor said he needed to control his weight over the last month.” Leaving her sister muttering about mean doctors, Nikki headed to the back of the room toward the buffet table.
A small cluster of women had gathered near the end of the table.
“I’d do it, but I promised several people I’d address the land issue,” a slender blond woman said.
“Yeah, I’m supposed to take notes for my neighbor because she had to work late,” plump redhead added. “I have her toddler and mine. I was hoping to put both kids in childcare.”
“I wish Cindy had let us know sooner she wouldn’t be here.” The owner of the diner planted her hands on her hips and looked over the crowd.
“We all want to hear about the Anderson endowment. I just know the men are going to want to use the land for another sports park, when this is the perfect opportunity to bring a little culture to Paradise Pines.”
“What about your niece, Sarah? Can she come down and babysit?” the blonde asked.
The redhead shook her head. “She’s working at the theater in El Cajon this summer.”
Nikki stepped forward. “Perhaps I can help. I don’t mind watching the kids during the meeting.”
As one, the three women turned hopeful gazes toward her.
Trace stood in the corner, his gaze alert on the crowd, talking to a couple of local businessmen. All conversation stopped when Nikki appeared next to his group.
“Gentlemen.” She acknowledged the men with one sweeping smile as she handed a plate of food and a cup of punch to Trace. “Carry on,” she advised, as she turned on her heels and returned to the buffet.
As preoccupied as she’d been in her hit-and-run delivery of the plate in his hand, there was no way she’d gone unnoticed by the men he’d been talking to.
Sure enough, Trace pulled his glance away from her to find the two men silent, their gazes locked onto Nikki’s black-and-white curves.
“Hmm. Why do you rate the special treatment?” asked Cord Sullivan, Mayor and owner of the local nursery.
Trace sent his friend a quelling glare.
“So that’s the nanny? Nice,” said Parker, the local barber, who was loud and coarse by nature. His eyes on Nikki’s retreating rear end, the rotund barber was oblivious to Trace’s displeasure.
“Get your mind out of the gutter, Parker.” Trace sent him a killer stare. “She’s my employee.”
“Yeah, that’s a sweet setup you have going.”
Trace invaded the man’s space. “What did you say?”
Parker nearly swallowed his tongue to keep another suggestive comment behind his teeth. He blinked and backed up a step. Maybe the man had more sense than Trace had given him credit for. “Hey, I’m just saying she’s fine.” Parker looked after Nikki again. “If you’re not interested, maybe I’ll give her a call.”
Over Trace’s dead body. As if Nikki would give the older man a second glance. She was all sassy honesty, and Parker was brash and oily.
“Don’t bother,” Trace said, his tone hard, his posture stiff.
“Right.” Parker nodded and winked. “Message received.”
Trace shook his head, but didn’t correct the man. Better that he think Trace and Nikki were involved. That way, the fool would leave her alone.
Not that Trace was jealous.
He had no right to that emotion.
It’s a date…The words echoed through his head and he wondered again what he’d been thinking.
And that amazing kiss.
Now, there was evidence he’d hadn’t been thinking with his mind. He couldn’t remember the last time his body had held sway over his head. Maybe being sex-starved and lonely had finally taken its toll, making him delusional.
Nikki had completely absorbed his thoughts during the brief meeting with the city council. Thankfully he’d known what the Mayor was announcing, or he’d have been clueless going into the meeting.
He could not date his nanny. More, he’d be a fool to date Nikki Rhodes. No way he could live up to her emotional standards.
Look what had happened the last time he’d let loneliness direct his actions. He’d ended up with a strained marriage, a son he didn’t know and a hot piece of fluff living in his garage.
Okay, that was harsh. But he needed to stay real and he had no business admiring the strength and fortitude hidden under frivolous ruffles and lace. Besides, they were totally incompatible. She liked to chat and he wanted silence. She had big-time control issues and he liked to be in charge. She loved kids and he couldn’t even relate to his own son.
Bottom line: he had nothing in common with the loving and dedicated Ms. Rhodes.
Hell, if Donna had lived Trace had no doubt they would have ended up another divorce statistic. Just like his mom and his old man.
Best he forget he’d ever mentioned a date.
Besides, she probably wouldn’t even be around to accept an invitation. If a teaching job came along she’d be off and on her way, leaving him and Mickey to pick up the pieces of their lives without her.
No—wait. That had been his mother.
Oh, yeah, serious trouble. In spades. It was not a good thing when he was comparing his nanny to his long-lost mother.
Chapter Eight
“HEY, little boy, we’re home.” Nikki parked the stroller on the front deck, unstrapped Mickey and lifted him up. “Are you ready for a snack? I’m ready for a cold drink.”
She unlocked the door and stepped inside. As usual she went to set the diaper bag on the sofa, and just stopped herself from dropping it on Trace. He lay stretched out on his back, fast asleep.
“Oops,” she whispered. “Daddy’s taking a nap.”
Trace home in the middle of the day was far from usual.
Still in his uniform, including gun belt, he looked as if he’d come in, sat down and crashed.
“Daddy night-night?”
