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Was it possible?
Could he, just maybe, want more from her than her support while he got to know his son? Deep down, did he have some faint intention of trying to make it work between them, after all? Did he want her with him, at his house, at least a little bit for her own sake?
She wondered—and then she put that tiny hope away. It didn’t matter. Not right then. Right then, her lies and her betrayals stood high as a fortress wall, thick and impossible to scale, between them. He didn’t trust her—with valid reason. He had disconnected from her. And any dreams she might have finally admitted to having about the two of them…
Well, this didn’t look like a situation where dreams were all that likely to come true.
What mattered now was that Tucker and Brody should have their time together; her job would be to do all she could to make that happen.
She said, “We’ll move in tomorrow.”
“All right, then,” he agreed. “Let’s get through the summer. We’ll worry about the rest of it when fall comes around.”
Chapter Twelve
That evening, after Brody was in bed, Lori sat her parents down at the kitchen table and told them that she and Brody would be staying at the Double T for a while.
“You don’t seem all that happy about it,” her father remarked with a frown.
“It’s what Tucker wants, to have some time with his son.”
“And what about you, Lori-girl? What do you want?”
“Right now, I just want to do my part to make sure they get the time together that they need.”
Her mother asked, “And you and Tucker?”
Okay. Maybe she couldn’t quite banish that thin flame of hope that she and the father of her son might find their way to each other, at last. But it was just that: a hope. Nothing more. “Mom, there is no me and Tucker. Not now, anyway.”
“But do you think that you could—?”
“Enid.” Heck scooted his chair closer to his wife and threw an arm across her slim shoulders. “It’s Lori’s life. We gotta learn to step back and let her live it.”
“I know. It’s only—”
He pulled her closer and chucked her under the chin. “Let it be, now.”
Enid wrinkled up her nose at him—and conceded, “Oh, all right.”
Lori got up, went around the table and planted a kiss on her father’s beard-rough cheek. “I love you, Daddy—Mama, you, too…”
Heck beamed up at her. “Now, that there’s exactly what we like to hear.”
Lori told Brody the plan the next morning at the breakfast table.
“All summer?” Brody frowned and scooped up another spoonful of Cheerios. They were alone in the Billingsworth kitchen. Heck had headed for his dealership and Enid was grocery shopping.
Lori set down her coffee cup and smiled her brightest smile. “Until the end of August. Two whole months, almost, at the Double T. You can ride that pony every day, and swim. And eat lots of barbecue. And then there’s Fargo. Tucker and I know how you feel about Fargo…”
Brody chewed and swallowed. “But I told Dustin and Adam that we’d be home next week.” The two boys, Brody’s best friends, lived down the street from them in San Antonio.
“You can call your friends and tell them you’re staying here for the summer, after all, but that you’ll be back as soon as school starts.”
Brody wasn’t going for it. “Mom. We were gonna build a tree fort in Dustin’s backyard. I bet they’ve already started on it. And I’d miss soccer camp—and what about soccer practice? That starts at the beginning of August. And what about Disneyland? You said we could probably go to Disneyland, in July…”
Somehow, she hadn’t expected all these objections. She saw now that she should have come at this a little better prepared.
She thought of Tucker’s angry eyes, thought of what he’d have to say to her if she blew this, if she had to lay down the law and drag her son out to the ranch, sulking and surly the whole way. Since Tucker didn’t trust her, he’d assume that somehow she’d poisoned Brody against the idea of a summer at the Double T. Good gravy, life got difficult when the father of your son had you branded as a liar.
And wait a minute…
She shouldn’t be so negative. She should remember that her son was a reasonable kid and they could work this out between them. She reminded him, “I thought you liked it at Tucker’s.”
“I do. I like it a lot. And I’ve been a little sad, to think I won’t see Fargo anymore.” He blinked and added hastily, “And Tucker, too. I really like Tucker—but a tree house, Mom. And Disneyland.”
Shamelessly, she bargained, “You could build a tree house out at the ranch. And have the new friends you’ve made here at Gramma’s out to visit whenever you wanted. I know they have soccer camp around here somewhere, too. We can arrange for you to go to that. And I don’t see why we can’t still go to Disneyland—” with Tucker, she reminded herself “—and Tucker might even want to go, too.”
More chomping of Cheerios. Then, “I’d still miss the beginning of soccer practice, though…”
He sounded less resistant. Didn’t he? She sipped from her coffee and answered him frankly, “Yes. I’m afraid you would miss a practice or two.” She sipped some more, giving him time to think it over a little.
He slanted her a glance, looking so much like his father that he took her breath away. “Maybe I could invite Dustin and Adam to come visit me out at the Double T.”
She gave him a slow smile. “You know. I’ll bet that could be arranged. We’d have to talk it over with Tucker, though.”
“Oh. Yeah. I mean, it is his house.”
“Exactly.”
Another bite of Cheerios. And then another. And finally, “Okay, Mom. Let’s do it.”
Relief poured through her. “Great.”
He pointed his spoon at her. “Don’t even think about it.”
She sat back, widened her eyes. “What?”
“Rubbing my head and telling me you love me.”
Busted. “But I do love you. I love you so much.”
“I love you, too, but don’t get all gooey, ‘kay?”
“‘Kay.”
“And Mom?”
“Hmm?”
“Is Tucker, like, your boyfriend or something?”
She almost choked on her coffee. “Why do you ask?”
“Your face is red—well, except for the part that’s all black and blue.”
“You better watch it. I might just have to ruffle your hair, after all.”
“That means you’re not going to answer me, right?”
She drank more coffee.
He grunted. “You’re not. And that prob’ly means he is your boyfriend. Right?” As she tried to compose an acceptable reply, one that would be honest and yet still not reveal the central truth that was Tucker’s to tell him, he barreled right on, “Mom. It’s okay if you have a boyfriend. I loved Dad and you loved Dad. A lot. But now Dad’s in heaven and you’re a widow and widows are allowed to have boyfriends. Especially the kind of boyfriend that gets along with their kids.”
“You mean…a boyfriend like Tucker?”
Brody nodded. “And you know what? I think I need another bowl of Cheerios.”
Lori set down the bottle of bug repellent after giving herself several protective squirts. Then she pulled another chair over, put her bare feet up on it and leaned back. She looked up at the stars and sighed.
It was nice, out by the pool. A slight breeze cooled her cheeks and a chorus of crickets trilled out their endless song and she could hear the water, softly lapping against the sides of the pool. Lightning bugs winked on and off across the lawn, tiny living lanterns in the darkness.
“So we’re going to Disneyland next month.” His voice came from behind her. It wasn’t the warm, seductive voice she remembered from that other night, when they sat out here together and watched Brody and Fargo rolling around on the grass.
But it wasn’t dangerous and hateful, either.
At least not too dangerous…
She decided to consider his tone a step in the right direction and sent a backward glance at his tall, broad-shouldered form. He stood at the edge of the brick path that led over from the South Wing.
“Have a seat,” she suggested and lifted a hand toward the chair beside her.
Then she leaned back and shut her eyes to let him know that it wasn’t a big thing to her, either way. He could stay, or he could turn and head back the way he had come. She’d be perfectly content, alone in the darkness with the cricket songs and the gold flashes of the lightning bugs.
Then again…
There was that tiny flicker, the thing called hope, bravely rising within her. Her heart was beating too fast and her breath had snagged in her throat—at the sound of his voice, at the sight of him standing there.
So maybe it was a big thing to her. She did want him to stay.
But he couldn’t know that. And she was glad he couldn’t. Though she’d sworn never to let another lie pass her lips, her response to him fell into that gray category labeled, If he doesn’t ask, I’m certainly not going to tell.
She sensed rather than heard his approach. The chair beside her gently scraped the tiles. He dropped down next to her, close enough that she got a faint hint of his aftershave. His tanned bare arm—he wore chinos and a cream-colored polo shirt—brushed hers. She felt his warmth.
Acutely.
She lifted her head and looked at him. He seemed to be studying her bare feet. Slowly, his gaze tracked upward, over her legs and her light summer skirt, over her belly and her breasts, in a slow once-over that undressed her as it went.
He met her eyes. “Except for the black eye and the bandage, you’re looking pretty healthy.” The remark was heavy with innuendo.
She decided to ignore the innuendo—and go strictly with the words themselves. “Yes, I’m feeling pretty good, thank you. And you’re right. We’re going to Disneyland in late July. Or Brody is, with one or the other of us.”
“Yeah. That’s what Brody said.” He looked at her steadily. Kind of hungrily, really—or maybe that was just a trick of the shadows, an illusion created by the waving light cast upward from the depths of the pool. Yes. A trick of the shadows…and her own yearning heart.
She found her mouth felt a little bit dry. She swallowed. “I had to do some convincing, to get him to come and stay here.” She watched his brows draw together and rushed to explain herself. “Not that he didn’t want to come. He did. But he had a lot of other plans, stuff lined up that he was looking forward to.”
Tucker nodded. “Soccer camp. A tree house. Friends in San Antonio—and Disneyland. Or did I already mention that one?”
“You did. And I’m guessing he’s laid it all out for you?”
“Pretty much. I got the idea he wanted me on the right page about his agenda, since he would be staying here.”
“He’s a smart guy.”
“That he is.”
“And are you—on the right page?”
“Yeah. I’d say I am.”
“Well, good.” She leaned her head back again. “I’ll have to look into changing the plane reservations to California. And maybe you could see about ordering the boards and nails for the tree house.”
“No problem. I’m thinking we’ve got what we need for the tree house already in one of the outbuildings by the stables.”
“Great. I’ll see if I can get the scoop on the local soccer camp, too.”
He said, “I let Fargo sleep in his room.”
She shut her eyes. “I can tell by your voice. That dog’s in Brody’s bed.”
“I should have said no, then?”
She sighed. “A boy and a dog. What can you do?”
“That was pretty much how I saw it.”
A pause. The chorus of cricket-song swelled all the louder. Somewhere in the trees, a bird trilled out, high and sweet. The song trembled on the air and then ended, the last note impossibly high, plaintive and lonely-sounding.
She could feel him watching her. His silence had a taut, breath-held quality. She dared to turn her head and look at him.
His dark eyes gleamed. He almost smiled—but no. He caught himself. He braced his hands on the chair arms. “Well. Good night, then.” He rose and loomed above her.
“Good night,” she said.
He turned for the brick path. She shut her eyes so she wouldn’t have to see him go.
Saturday, Tucker and Brody started building the tree house in one of the oaks that rimmed the back lawn. Lori left them to it. She went into town and had lunch with her mother, who was sweet and affectionate—and wanted to know how things were going out at the ranch. Lori told her that Brody was having a great time.
And Enid asked the thousand-dollar question. “Does my grandson know, then, that Tucker’s his dad?” Lori sighed and shook her head. “Honey, he has a right to know.”
