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Both of those relationships had developed in the logical, sensible way. She’d come to believe that she loved those men over a reasonable period of time, after getting to know them well—or so she had thought.
And look what had happened. She learned in the end that she hadn’t really known either Ryan or Peter. Not well enough, she hadn’t. With both men, it had ended in heartbreak. Those failures should have made her more wary. Those failures had made her more wary.
Until today. Until she met Rule.
With Rule, her heart seemed to have a will of its own. With him, she wanted to just go for it. To take the leap, take a chance. She didn’t want to be wary with him. With him, she could almost become a believer in love at first sight.
If only he wasn’t put off by learning that she already had a child….
“It’s all right,” he said so gently. “Go on.”
And she did. “I was almost thirty, when it ended with Peter. I wanted to make partner in my firm and I wanted a family. I knew I could do both.”
He gave a slow nod. “But the men were not cooperating.”
“Exactly. So I decided … to have a family anyway. A family without a man. I went to a top cryobank—a sperm bank, at a fertility clinic?”
“Yes,” he said in a way that could only be called cautious. “I know what a cryobank is.”
“Well, all right.” Her hands were shaking. She lowered them to her lap so he wouldn’t see. “I went to a sperm bank. I had artificial insemination. The procedure was successful. I got pregnant. And now I have a beautiful, healthy two-year-old son.”
“You have a child,” he repeated, carefully. “A boy.”
She folded her hands good and tight in her lap to still the shaking. And her heart seemed to have stopped dead in her chest—and then commenced beating way too hard and too fast. It hurt, her own heart, the way it pounded away in there. Because she knew, absolutely, that it was over, between her and Rule, over before it had even really begun. And it didn’t matter how perfect he was for her. It didn’t matter if he just happened to be her dream-come-true. It didn’t matter that he made her want to believe in love at first sight. She was absolutely certain at that moment that he wouldn’t accept Trevor. And if he didn’t accept her son, she wanted nothing to do with him.
In a moment, she would be rising, saying good-night. Walking away from him and refusing to look back.
She drew her shoulders tall. Her hands weren’t shaking anymore. “Yes, Rule. I have a son, a son who’s everything to me.”
Chapter Three
And then, just as she was dead certain that it was finished between them, Rule smiled.
A real smile. He laid his warm, lean hand along the side of her face. “How wonderful. I love children, Sydney—but I already said that, didn’t I? When can I meet him? Tomorrow, I hope.”
She blinked, swallowed. Almost sick with emotion, she put her hand against her churning stomach. “I … You what?”
He laughed, a beautiful, low, sexy sound. “You thought I wouldn’t want to meet your son?” And then he frowned. “You don’t know me very well.”
“I … You’re right. I don’t know you.” She took slow, deep breaths, ordering her stomach to settle down, stunned at how much it mattered, that he wasn’t rejecting Trevor. That it wasn’t over after all, that she didn’t have to rise and walk away and not look back. She could stay right here, in this beautiful restaurant, at this private table, with this incredible man. She chided, “I have to keep reminding myself that I don’t know you well, that we only met this afternoon.”
“Unbelievable.” His frown had faded. “I had forgotten. Somehow, it seems that I’ve known you forever.”
She confessed, “I have that feeling, too.” And then she laughed, a laugh that felt as light and bubbly as the excellent champagne. “I had it the first moment I saw you.”
“You did?” He wore that boyish look, the one that made her think of Trev.
“Yes. I thought how you couldn’t be looking at me. And then I thought how familiar you looked, that I must have met you before….”
“Of course I was looking at you,” he said it with a definite note of reproach. “But you were very busy reminding yourself that you were through with men.”
“I was. I admit it. How dumb was that?”
“It’s all right. Now that you’ve told me why you gave up men, I thoroughly understand. And I’m not complaining. If you hadn’t decided to stay away from the male sex, you might have found someone else by now and I wouldn’t have a chance with you.”
“And that would have been a tragedy,” she teased.
“Yes, it would. A true catastrophe. But you did give up men. Now all I have to do is convince you to give one more man a chance.” He raised his glass again. She clinked hers against it. “Are you ready for the first course?”
Suddenly, she was starving. “I am, yes.”
He cast a glance beyond the open curtain. That was all. Just a glance. The waiter appeared again and made straight for their table.
Two hours later, Rule walked her out to the valet stand and had her car brought around. He tipped the valet generously and then took her hand and led her away from her waiting Mercedes. “Just for a moment …”
She went with him, down the sloping front entrance, to a shadowed area next to a large brick planter thick with greenery, beneath a beautiful old oak. The spring night felt warm and close around them.
He turned to face her. His eyes gleamed like polished stones through the darkness and his fingers trailed up her bare arm, a long, slow, dancing caress that left her strangely weak and slightly breathless. “Sydney …” He clasped her shoulders, and then framed her face between both wonderful hands. “Sydney O’Shea. I was becoming frightened.”
His words confused her. She scanned his shadowed features. “But why?”
“That I would never find you. Never meet you …”
“Oh. That.” She felt a glad smile curve her lips.
“Yes. That.” His sweet breath stirred the loose curls at her temples as he bent his head closer to her.
A kiss. His kiss. Their first kiss. She tipped her face up to him, offering her mouth.
He held her eyes as he lowered his lips to hers.
Warm. Soft. Easy …
Her eyes drifted shut as his mouth touched hers, lightly, cherishingly. And she trembled, the moment was so exactly as she’d imagined it might be during their lunch that afternoon, during the long, glorious meal just past.
“Sydney …” He whispered her name against her mouth and she opened for him.
Instantly, she wanted more, wanted to be closer. Had to be closer.
Surging up, she wrapped her arms around him. A tiny, hungry cry escaped her at the sheer glory of such a perfect moment.
He took her cue and deepened the kiss, gathering her into him, cradling her against his body, so that she felt his warmth and solidness all along the length of her. He tasted of coffee and the heavenly pistachio mascarpone cake they’d shared for dessert. And the way he kissed her, the way his warm, rough-tender tongue caressed her … oh, there was nothing, ever, in her experience, to compare to it.
Nothing to compare.
To his kiss …
She wished it would never end.
But of course, it had to end. He took her shoulders again and reluctantly lifted his mouth from hers.
“Tomorrow,” he said, gazing down at her, his eyes heavy-lidded, holding her a willing captive with his light touch at her shoulders, with his tender glance.
“Yes,” she vowed, though she didn’t even know yet what he planned for tomorrow.
He brushed the backs of his fingers against her cheek, and then up to her temple, causing those lovely shivers to course across her skin. “In the morning? I could come and collect you and your little boy. We could … visit a park, maybe. A park with swings and slides, so he’ll have a chance to play. My little niece and nephew love nothing so much as a few hours in the sunshine, with a sandbox and a slide.”
“You didn’t tell me you had a niece and a nephew.”
He nodded. “My older brother, Max, has two children—say yes to tomorrow.”
“But I already did, didn’t I?”
“Say it again.”
“Yes—and why don’t you come for breakfast first? You can meet my best friend, Lani, who has a degree in English literature, is a fabulous cook and takes care of Trevor while I’m at work.”
“I would love breakfast. And to meet your friend, Lani.”
“I have to warn you. Breakfast comes early at my house.”
“Early it is.”
“Seven-thirty, then.” She took his hand, automatically threading her fingers with his, feeling the thrill of touching him—and also a certain rightness. Her hand fit perfectly in his. “Come on.” She pulled him back toward her car. “I’ll give you my address and phone number.”
“Where’s Michael?” Sydney asked, when she let herself in the house at quarter of eleven and found Lani sitting on the sofa alone, wearing Tweety Bird flannel pajama bottoms and a yellow cami top.
“How was the big date?” Lani asked, with a too-bright smile.
Sydney slipped off her red shoes and dropped to the sofa beside her friend. “It was better than … anything. Wonderful. I’m crazy about him. He’s coming for breakfast at seven-thirty.”
“Good. I can check him out. See if he’s good enough for you.”
“He’s good enough. You’ll see. I thought maybe one of your fabulous frittatas …”
“You got it.” Lani took off her glasses and set them on the side table.
“Hey.” Sydney waited until her friend looked at her again. Then she guided a thick swatch of Lani’s dark, curly hair behind her ear. “You didn’t answer my question about Michael.”
Lani’s big eyes were a little sad, and her full mouth curved slightly down. “Tonight, when I watched you getting ready to meet this new guy, putting on your makeup, fixing your hair, waffling over that perfect red dress …”
“Yeah? Tonight, what?”
“I thought, ‘That. What Syd’s feeling. I want that.’“
“Oh, sweetheart …”
Lani’s shoulders drooped. “And then you left and Michael came over and I thought what a nice guy he is … but I couldn’t go on with him. Because he’s not the guy.” She laughed a little, shaking her head. “Do you know what I mean?”
Sydney reached out. Lani sagged against her and they held each other. “Yeah,” Sydney whispered into her friend’s thick, fragrant hair. “Yeah, I know exactly what you mean.”
The next morning, the doorbell rang at seven-thirty on the nose.
“I get it!” Trevor fisted his plump hand and tapped the table twice. “Knock, knock!” he shouted. “Who’s there?”
Sydney kissed his milk-smeared cheek. “Eat your cereal, Bosco.”
“Banana!” Trev giggled. “Banana who?”
Lani said, “The coffee’s ready and the frittata’s in the oven. Answer the door, Syd.”
“Orange. Banana.” Trevor was totally entranced with his never-quite-right knock-knock joke. He banged his spoon gleefully against the tabletop. “Orange your … banana …”
Lani took his spoon from him. “Well, I guess I’ll have to feed you, since you’re not doing it.”
“Lani, no! I eat. I do it myself.”
“You sure?”
“Yes!”
She handed him back the spoon. “Go,” she said to Sydney, canting her head in the general direction of the front door.
Her heart doing somersaults inside her chest, Sydney went to let Rule in.
“Hi.” She said it in the most ridiculous, breathy little voice.
“Sydney,” he replied in wonderful melted-caramel tones. Could a man get more handsome every time a woman saw him? Rule did. The bright April sunshine made his hair gleam black as a crow’s wing, and his smile had her heart performing a forward roll. He had a big yellow Tonka dump truck in one hand and a red ball in the other.
“I see you’ve come armed for battle,” she said.
He shrugged. “In my experience, little boys like trucks. And balls.”
“They do. Both. A lot.” She stared at him. And he stared back at her. Time stopped. The walls of her foyer seemed to disappear. There was only the man on the other side of the open door. He filled up the world.
Then, from back in the kitchen, she heard her son calling out gleefully, “Orange. Banana. Banana. Orange …”
Lani said something. Probably, “Eat your cereal.”
“It’s the never-ending knock-knock joke,” she said, and then wondered if they even had knock-knock jokes in his country. “Come in, come in …”
He did. She shut the door behind him. “This way …”
He caught her elbow. Somehow he had managed to shift the toy truck to the arm with the ball in it. “Wait.” He said it softly.
She turned back to him and he looked down at her and …
Was there anything like this feeling she had with him? So fine and shining and full of possibility. He pulled her to him.
