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Jenna didn’t respond. She still missed her upscale house in Shawnee Mission, an affluent suburb of Kansas City, where she’d lived with her ex-husband. Her apartment now in Barren was crammed with treasures she’d brought with her, although she and David still had a few things left to decide on.
“You waiting for something?” Hadley said.
She shrugged. “A quilt with sewn-on activities and noisemakers. For my sister’s baby.” Which was none of his business.
Hadley scowled. “I wasn’t home the other day, but Clara says you came by.”
Which sounded to Jenna like a challenge. When she did drive out to the McMann ranch to see the twins, she tried to schedule her visits so that Hadley would be at work. Sometimes she even passed by the NLS to make sure his truck was there. Silly, she supposed, but he made her uncomfortable. And she guessed, from the way he kept shifting from one foot to the other, she made him uneasy, too.
“I hope you don’t have a problem with that,” she said, although she knew he did.
His gaze lifted. “Amy may not have trusted me to see to the twins’ welfare, but she was wrong.”
“I’m not concerned about your relationship with Amy.” Although she’d certainly heard an earful from her friend, Jenna knew better than to interfere. She’d done so once with her sister Shadow, and she wouldn’t make that mistake again. “My only interest now is in the twins.”
Hadley stared at her. “Clara tells me when you’ve been to the house. I’ve noticed the presents you brought. Gracie looks cute in those pink pajamas with the sheep on them.” His tone was grudging. “And Luke looks ready to play football in the blue ones with the helmets all over.”
“I couldn’t resist,” she admitted.
Sherry chose that moment to sweep through the curtain with the box Shadow had ordered, and Jenna could have kissed her for her perfect timing.
On impulse Jenna turned, plucked the yellow sundress and the multihued pastel playsuit she’d admired from the nearest table, then added the navy sneakers. Her cheeks flaming, she paid for them and made small talk with Sherry while she wrapped the gifts. The whole time Jenna could sense Hadley, still in the center of the room, staring at her back. Then, feeling too onstage with him watching, she carried her parcels toward the door.
Jenna had her hand on the latch when Hadley reached around her. The bell jingled as he opened the door for her. “Want me to take the presents home?”
How did he know they were for Luke and Grace? Oh, yes, why else would she buy double gifts in the same size? For a boy and girl? “Thank you, but I’ll take them next time I visit the twins.”
He’d been polite—at least he had manners—but Jenna didn’t welcome his help any more than Hadley welcomed hers. Not that he would consider it help.
ON HIS WAY to the NLS the next morning, bleary-eyed after a sleepless night, Hadley still felt shaken by his encounter with Jenna. And then he was startled by a different kind of encounter. As he drove through town, he braked hard at the only stoplight in Barren, certain that the dark-haired guy walking along the opposite side of the street might be the lone remnant of the broken family he’d been born into. But it couldn’t be his brother, the one Hadley had betrayed. He hadn’t seen him in years. Not that Dallas would want to see Hadley.
When he finally reached the ranch, the foreman was waiting at the barn, his eyes the color of flint.
“You’re late,” Cooper Ransom said.
Hadley recognized the hard tone of voice. He climbed out of his truck. Once he’d have been ready for a fight, but he couldn’t afford to lose his temper. He was a father now, and he and Cooper, who was married to the owner’s granddaughter, had already shared some nasty moments. Still, he had the other man to thank for Hadley moving in with Amy last spring. He would never regret Cooper’s advice to treat her more kindly. He hoped he’d given Amy a few happy moments—in between their quarrels—when she’d had so few of them left.
Hadley’s mouth tightened. “My boy’s got his days and nights mixed up,” he told Cooper. “When he finally went to sleep, I crashed myself.” Clara hadn’t wakened him this morning. Either she’d thought he needed the rest, or she wasn’t speaking to him. After their talk the other night, she’d made it plain he was welcome in her home until the ranch sold, but how could she show the place with toys and stacks of diapers scattered everywhere? “I got here as soon as I could.”
“I appreciate that. I know it’s hard to keep a schedule with two babies at once. But you left early yesterday. You were late once last week. Ranch work can’t wait for you to show up.”
He’d expected a stern lecture, but… “I’m being fired?” Again? He’d lost his job as foreman to Cooper last year.
The ranch owner, Ned, had always been good to Hadley and had rehired him, but as a ranch hand. Now he earned half of what he used to make as foreman.
He thought again about Clara’s question. He’d give everything he had to run his own ranch, to be in full control of his life, but even buying a horse wasn’t possible right now. Amy’s outstanding hospital charges were eating him up, and the next payment was due. While he was glad her doctors had done everything humanly possible to save her, the ongoing expense was drowning Hadley. He needed this job.
“Listen,” he said before Cooper could deliver the final blow. “I’m a hard worker. With calves being born every day here, you need me now,” Hadley insisted.
Cooper said, “Sorry, I can’t keep you. But let me make some calls. Maybe one of the other outfits can take you on and give you more flexible hours.”
“Don’t bother. I can find my own job,” he said, his jaw tense. Hadley hated the notion of people doing him a favor, because sooner or later they’d want to collect on the debt.
Cooper shook his head, the sun glinting on his blond hair. “If that’s the way you want it.”
The other man started toward the house, muttering something about writing Hadley a check, which was nothing new, either. Minutes from now, with the money in his wallet, Hadley would feel tempted to leave rubber on the pavement as he turned onto the road, just as he had last year. But this time he forced himself to cool down. He didn’t need a ticket for reckless driving from Finn Donovan, the sheriff. He had the babies to think of, not only himself. Responsibilities. It was just too bad the twins hadn’t picked a father who, at this moment, could meet those responsibilities. He could save face, though.
“No, this isn’t the way I want it,” he called after Cooper, having made his decision. “Let’s pretend you didn’t let me go for staying up late with my baby. You don’t have to fire me,” he said, calling on the defiance that had helped him to survive any number of foster homes as a kid. “I quit.”
Now, because of his stubborn pride, all he had to do was figure out how to feed the twins.
CHAPTER THREE (#u4c1dd979-e42f-549f-9259-52b654d85705)
AT LUNCHTIME THE NEXT DAY Jenna crossed the street, picked up some take-out food from the Bon Appetit, then went to see her sister. Shadow ran her own company called the Mother Comfort Home Health Care Agency, which was located in the same building as Jenna’s new business. They often ate together when time permitted—which was more of an issue for Shadow, who was always on the run these days juggling her baby plus the agency. Meanwhile Fantastic Designs had yet to get off the ground. Jenna’s rented space on the second floor above her sister’s office seemed perfect, but she had no appointments for the afternoon, or any other time, really.
Shadow was at her desk, the phone tucked under one ear. “I appreciate your concern, Bertie,” she said with an eye roll for Jenna. “I’m sure we can work something out. Let me get started. I’ll call you back later. Yes, of course, you’ll have final say over anyone we place in your home.”
Jenna sank onto a chair in front of Shadow’s cluttered desk. She laid out their lunch. “What’s up?”
“Jack’s uncle,” she said with a pointed look. “He’s not happy.”
“Poor old guy.”
But this wasn’t only about Bertie, who was in frail health. His nephew, Jack Hancock, the owner and head chef at the Bon Appetit, had been seeing Jenna and Shadow’s widowed mother, and two days ago they’d gotten engaged. Shadow thought that was great; Jenna was still trying to wrap her mind around the fact that their mother planned to tie the knot again. Hadn’t Wanda learned anything during her miserable marriage to their dad?
Jenna swallowed a first delicious bite of her croque madame. When she’d returned to Barren, newly divorced, she’d had little appetite and lost weight, but Jack’s restaurant deserved its rave reviews. “Jack’s been taking care of Bertie with Mama’s help. If they get married, what will happen to Bertie?”
“They’re going to buy a house, which would leave Bertie to fend for himself. Jack and Mama want their own space, but Bertie didn’t love my idea to look for another caregiver in his own home.”
“I think Mom and Jack are being too hasty,” Jenna said. She hadn’t reacted well when their mother showed her the ring Jack had given her. “Shadow, she’s been on her own for a while now, and you can see how much happier she is. All those years of putting up with Daddy, him losing one job, then finding another, only to get fired or quit that, too…” He’d always seemed to be between jobs when he wasn’t sitting in his old recliner all day, channel surfing the TV or bullying one of the kids, especially Jenna. “Mama may be leaping at this chance with Jack when she should take time to really figure out what she wants.”
Shadow started on her own lunch with a sigh of satisfaction. “I’m sure she hasn’t forgotten how hard it was to put food on the table or buy all of us shoes—”
“Used sneakers from Goodwill or the church rummage sale,” Jenna remembered. “Mama had a bad self-image then, and no wonder with the way Daddy treated her. I’d hate to see her give up her new independence only to get into another bad situation.”
“She won’t. I’ll admit Jack’s quirky,” Shadow agreed, running a hand through her dark hair, “but so what if he pretends he’s French when he’s not? I find that endearing, especially in a town like Barren where cowboys rule. His restaurant’s already a big hit, he’s been good to Mama, and he’s great with Bertie, who’s not the easiest person to get along with. As I just learned all over again.” Shadow’s nearly black eyes held the hint of a smile. “I’ll find Bertie a caregiver he feels comfortable with. Would you deprive Mama of her chance to be truly happy for once in her life?”
“Of course not. But what’s wrong with a longer engagement that would give them both time to see if this is really the right thing to do?”
“Jack loves her. She loves him. What’s to figure out?”
Jenna finished her sandwich, savoring the last bite of ham-and-cheese goodness, her gaze focused on a framed photograph of Shadow, her husband, Grey, and their ten-year-old daughter, Ava, on the desk. “This, from a woman who adores her husband, dotes on her new baby and has everything else she wanted in life? Including Wilson Cattle and everyone’s favorite little cowgirl?” And Ava now had a baby brother, if not the sister she’d asked for. Being around their little family—or Hadley’s twins—for Jenna was both a joy she couldn’t resist and a sorrow she could never escape. She should worry instead about finding some clients.
Shadow saw her looking at the picture. “We have problems like anyone else, Jen.” She tried a smile. “For instance, Grey’s parents’ house has taken forever to build. Everett’s a great father-in-law, and I do love Liza, who’s the best stepmother-in-law in the world, but really, they need their own quarters and so do we. Just like Mama and Jack. There’s always something. Life’s never perfect.”
“I guess I still have to work through my own issues,” Jenna admitted.
“Sure, and I get that—” Shadow had never liked David, Jenna’s ex “—but Mama’s wedding to Jack shouldn’t be one of them. Your marriage didn’t pan out. The divorce was hard. We all think David treated you terribly, but look at you now,” she said. “You’re better off, and you have a new business, which I know is going to be successful—”
“—if things ever pick up,” Jenna said. She couldn’t deny that, like their mother, she’d sacrificed a big part of herself to help further David’s career and run the rest of his life so he wouldn’t have to. “I thought getting certified as a designer would be hard. Compared to launching my business, it was a piece of cake—chocolate,” she added, tapping one finger against the square white box Jack had packed for them with dessert.
“Even so, you’re doing fine.”
“Are you in Pollyanna mode today?” Jenna asked.
“No, but who needed that big house in Kansas City?” Shadow didn’t point out that there’d been no babies there to fill the space. “Your apartment here is gorgeous and homey. All you need now is confidence.” Her eyes brightened. “Why don’t you call Liza? Now that their house is almost done, she’ll want a designer. Maybe you can get the job.”
“You’re changing the subject. We were talking about Mama and Jack.”
“I think the two are connected. Them and your divorce.”
She glanced out the window. “I just don’t want her to get hurt.”
Shadow arched one eyebrow. “See what I mean?”
Jenna’s hands twisted in her lap. “No. I don’t. I care whether our mother makes another mistake, but that doesn’t mean it’s about me, too.”
Shadow gazed at her. “I disagree.” And Jenna could tell that what she’d dreaded was coming. “Mama’s engagement, even your divorce, aren’t the only issues. You’re going to have to deal with the rest eventually too, Jenna.”
She didn’t pretend to misunderstand. “I can’t believe you’d bring up my…infertility. Yes, I wanted kids—maybe too much—but that dream is over.” She folded her sandwich wrapper, then dropped it in the trash can beside Shadow’s desk. The closest she would ever come to a baby of her own was Shadow’s three-month-old son, Zach.
Jenna opened the cake box and gave her sister a piece. Shadow sampled the slice set before her. “What’s the best thing now for you? Maybe you should work on that.” She hesitated. “And while we’re in risky territory here, what’s going on with Hadley Smith’s twins?”
“I see them as much as I can—for Amy’s sake.”
“Jenna, if that’s painful, you don’t have to spend time with them. I think Amy would understand. Unless visiting the McMann ranch isn’t just about the babies.”
Jenna said, “I enjoy the twins, but I don’t want to know Hadley any better than I already do.”
Shadow blinked. “Now, that’s interesting.”
Yes, it was. Why had she assumed Shadow meant him? She couldn’t deny he had a certain appeal with that dark hair and those steel-blue eyes. But he didn’t want her around, and she didn’t like to get near him, either. She went to the ranch for the twins, not Hadley. “I’m keeping tabs on him. That’s all.”
“Maybe you won’t have to much longer. I hear Clara’s going to sell her ranch.”
That news surprised Jenna. “Then the problem will solve itself. Hadley won’t stay in town.”
Why hadn’t she heard about Clara putting the ranch on the market? Jenna rose from her chair. Unfortunately, that also meant she’d no longer see the twins, hard as that might be, because Hadley would be out of sight before the sold sign was posted on the ranch. As expected. Jenna didn’t want to examine her mixed emotions about that too closely, so she changed the subject. “I forgot to bring you the quilt you bought for Zach. I’ll drop it off tomorrow. Would that make you happy?”
“Yes,” Shadow said, “but I’d feel even more pleased if you’d help me with the plans for Mom’s wedding.”
Jenna didn’t respond. That would be as hard for her as saying goodbye to the twins.
AFTER HE LEFT the NLS, Hadley had grabbed a quick lunch at the Sundown Café—he wasn’t a big fan of the fancy French food served at the Bon Appetit—then ate his burger on the way to the Circle H.
Begging didn’t come easily to him, but if that’s what it took… Only Logan Hunter, Sawyer’s brother and part owner of the ranch, quickly dashed his hopes. At the moment they were fully staffed.
After their brief conversation, Hadley left his cell number, then climbed back in his truck, disappointed. Still, he had to envy Logan, who didn’t have to worry about his family ever being kicked out of their house.
As he drove back to Clara’s, he tried to appreciate what he had for now.
His mood softened, as usual, the minute he stepped into the kitchen at the house. When he lifted his girl from her baby seat, Gracie reached out her arms to him and giggled. Both twins had recently learned to laugh, which lit him up inside like a candle in a pumpkin. Trying to forget the past few hours, he scooped up Luke, too, but on his way in he’d ignored the stack of mail on the hall table—including a notice from the hospital, probably. “This wasn’t exactly my day,” he told Clara. “I’m not going to complain except to say that I almost got fired.”
The last word made his stomach burn. For most of his life Hadley had been a loner, certainly since he was ten years old, the last time he’d seen his brother. And here he was with two tiny beings who depended on him for everything. Had he been out of his mind to quit his job at the NLS? Any severance pay was off the table now, because in the end, leaving had been his choice. Hadley had always believed he knew when it was time to go, but now he had second thoughts. He guessed he was getting his comeuppance. In the end his temper had gotten the best of him.
“Oh, Hadley. Fired. Why?”
“Being late for work, and instead I quit. But I’ll find something else.” He explained his brief visit with Logan, who’d been sympathetic, though in the end, he couldn’t offer a job.
Maybe he should go back to the NLS tomorrow where he’d done some begging before the twins were born, see if Cooper might settle up after all.
Clara didn’t look at him, but she kissed his cheek on her way to turn off the stove where the twins’ bottles were heating in a pan of water.
When she faced him, he could see his story had affected her, too. And he remembered she was also facing a challenging and painful situation.
“You’re sorry to be leaving here, aren’t you?” he asked Clara, taking one of the bottles from her. Her skin felt cool under his warmer hand.
“Yes,” she said. “I don’t know how I’m ever going to sort through all the things Cliff and I accumulated in forty years. Well, me at least.” Her husband had been gone almost a decade, years after Hadley left, and Hadley had never had a chance to say goodbye to the man who’d had such an influence on him. “Cliff and I never had children of our own, but my memories of the girls and boys we fostered—” Clara glanced at Hadley “—are in every nook and cranny of this house. When you left us, and you were the last, Cliff told me I’d made a shrine of your room.”
A wave of loss ran through Hadley. That room for now was the twins’ nursery. The McMann ranch was the closest he’d ever come to a home and a family in many years, until the twins were born. Clara sat at the table, and Hadley stood beside her.
He hadn’t found another place in town that might suit him and the babies, and he recalled again Clara’s entreaty to buy the ranch.
“I know what you asked me, Clara,” he said, passing Luke to her. The baby latched onto the bottle, noisily sucking. Hadley sat down, too, and teased the other nipple into Gracie’s mouth. Clara’s challenge had been between them ever since. And here he was, out of a job… “If I could, I’d buy this ranch. Then you could stay right where you are. But I can’t,” he finished, hating to let her down all over again as he had his brother Dallas in a different way.
“Stay, you mean?” she asked.
“No, I mean I don’t have the money to buy you out.”
“If you could, though, would you stay? With the babies?” Her gaze fixed on Luke nestled against her chest. “And before you say another word, I’m more than fine with that.”
Hadley didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t afford the ranch, but maybe there was another option… “What if you didn’t have to sell?” he asked Clara. “What if you kept the ranch—”
“It’s not making any money. You’re aware of that.” She glanced out the kitchen window at the dry fields, the empty barn. “And I know, even when I’ve practically begged you to stay, that you’re determined to leave again…” She trailed off.
Hadley gazed at the same outside view. “What if I didn’t?”
Her gaze jerked up to meet his. And he swallowed hard. Four months ago he’d come here to her ranch for the twins. He’d been antsy for a change ever since, yet he realized his babies were too young for such a drastic upheaval, even the short move he’d planned from here to town. Just as important, where would Clara go?
“I understand things are tight, but if we could put enough money together, even borrow some to buy a few cattle, start a new herd for you—”
“Oh, Hadley,” she said as she had before, one hand pressed to Luke’s hair, the other to her heart.
“I’m a good foreman. I think I could get this ranch going again.” Of course, if he stayed, he’d continue to have to deal with Jenna Moran nosing around in his business, making her weekly drive-bys. Still… Once Clara’s place was making a profit, and the twins were old enough, Hadley could move on as he’d planned and get away from Jenna for good. Her eagle eye over his care of the twins made him nervous. In the meantime, whatever he had to do, he might be able to make this happen.
“I can’t afford much, either,” Clara said, and for an instant Hadley was mentally packing his bags, yet her tone had sounded hopeful. If he and Clara did this, he wouldn’t need another job as anyone’s cowhand; he’d be his own boss again, his decisions, of course, subject to Clara’s approval.
A streak of excitement zinged along his veins. Hadley almost didn’t recognize the feeling. “We’ll manage. Heck, I’d rather work for you than for anybody else.”
