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“Tough on you,” he murmured.
“Yes. I was the heavy, the one who said no to his wilder ideas, and Davy was old enough to see that.” Sophie’s pretty face tightened at the memory. “I’m trying to teach my son that responsibility is part of growing up, that nobody gets out of it.”
“Is that what Marty tried to do, get out of his responsibility?” It was none of Tanner’s business but he had to ask. His stomach knotted when Sophie slowly nodded. What would she think if she knew of his past irresponsibility? “How did Marty die?”
Normally Tanner would have steered far away from such personal questions. But here, in the intimacy of his kitchen, he had a strange feeling that Sophie wanted to share her past and that she needed to talk to someone. He’d guess she didn’t do that often but maybe with her kids asleep and her job finished, she could finally relax. She’d helped him. He wanted to help her.
“I’m a good listener, Sophie,” he assured her quietly. Silence yawned.
“Marty died riding bulls at the rodeo.”
It wasn’t so much those seven words as the way Sophie said them that told Tanner how much her husband’s decision to take that risk had affected her. He made no comment, simply waited for her to continue.
“Beth was three months old and our medical bills were huge. Marty was looking for an easy way to pay them off.” She bowed her head as if ashamed about her debt. “The rodeo purse was a large amount. Marty being Marty never considered it was so large because no one could ride the animal, or that he might get hurt trying. After three seconds, the bull threw him, then trampled him. Marty was unconscious for four days before he died.”
Leaving Sophie with even larger medical bills and no one to help her. Irritation toward the careless husband built with a rush of—what? Not pity. Sympathy? Compassion—that was it. And a wish that he’d been there to help her. But why was that? Tanner was a loner. He barely knew Sophie Armstrong. So why should he feel she needed his help?
“That must have been very hard for you, alone with a newborn and another child.” A thousand questions bubbled inside him. “What did you do?”
“I cried for a while but that was useless so I grabbed control of my life.” Sophie’s voice hardened. “I felt like I’d lost it in high school when I learned I was pregnant with Davy. My parents were furious their daughter had strayed from the Christian path.” Her voice showed the strain of that time. “They insisted Marty and I get married. I obeyed them even though I had a lot of doubts about marriage and motherhood at sixteen.”
“Sixteen? Wow. That is young.” Tanner gulped down the memory of his own life at sixteen and the mistake he was still running from, the thing that made him utterly unworthy of Burt’s trust or anyone’s love. “When Marty died, did you contact your parents?”
“His and mine both, to tell them of his death. I could have used my parents’ support then but I couldn’t take their recriminations.” Sophie’s usually laughing lips tightened. “My parents are big into rules and judgment. I didn’t need the guilt of hearing about how my sins were coming back to roost.”
“His parents couldn’t help, either?” Sophie shook her head. “So you were alone. How did you survive?” Tanner was aghast that this young woman had faced life as the sole support for two very young children.
“Marty had an insurance policy. I got it the day he bought a house that was beyond our means. The policy paid off our mortgage but we couldn’t afford to live there so I sold the place and everything else we didn’t absolutely need.” Sophie’s chin thrust out as if she expected some argument from Tanner, as if she’d had to justify her decision before.
Tanner remained silent, amazed at her pluck and grit.
“That money, a cleaning job with a neighbor babysitting for free and the food bank gave us a cushion while I figured out my next step.” She shrugged. “People liked my cooking so I started selling it at farmers’ markets to make a few dollars extra. That grew into catering and eventually allowed me to stay home with Beth. We manage now.”
“So you have your own business.” Tanner felt enormously proud of Sophie and he barely knew her!
“It hasn’t been easy, but yes, I love being my own boss.” She grimaced. “Along the way I’ve struggled to figure out God’s plan but—hey, that’s enough of my life story.”
“Thank you for sharing it with me,” Tanner said and meant it. “You’re a remarkable woman, Sophie Armstrong.”
“I’m just a mom trying to do the very best for my kids. They come first.” She said it with a fierce purpose, her eyes dark with determination. “Davy and Beth are why I keep pushing through the problems. My kids are my life. I will never knowingly endanger them. I will also never again allow my life to be controlled by someone else.”
Sophie’s darkened eyes and stern voice brooked no argument. Her harsh life had obviously strengthened her but Tanner hated to see the tiny fan lines of stress at the sides of her eyes.
“So now you believe Davy needs to learn responsibility?” He waited for her nod, feeling slightly guilty for thinking he had something he could teach this boy, he who had abdicated fatherhood of his own child. “How will you teach him that?” he asked curiously.
“By finding something he loves and then indulging it as much as I can afford. Maybe he’ll begin to understand that some things are worth working for.” Her firm clear voice and focused gaze told him Sophie needed no greater motivation for her life than her kids.
How Tanner admired that motherly devotion. “And Beth? What does she need?”
“Beth—” Sophie paused, her face momentarily reflective. “Beth will be fine.” Her dark eyes softened and the hard thrust of her jaw relaxed. “She takes whatever life hands her and turns it into a rainbow. She’s adaptable. Davy’s different.” Her lips pinched tight. “He needs something...more.”
“God certainly knew what He was doing when He made you their mother.” Tanner was positive he’d never known anyone more determined than Sophie Armstrong. He noted her quick glance at the wall clock, saw it swerve to rest on Beth’s card sitting on a shelf. Her smile returned. “It’s a pretty card,” he said. “More tea?”
“No, thanks. I must get home.” She rose, set her cup in the sink then faced him. “I can’t thank you enough for helping me out tonight, Tanner.”
“I think four pies more than covered that bill. This ranch will have a new reputation at church thanks to you. The best eats ever at Wranglers Ranch.” He grinned and when she smiled back he decided Sophie’s pies weren’t the best thing about her. Her smile was.
Silence yawned between them. Tanner’s gaze locked with hers and he couldn’t look away from those intense brown eyes until Sophie’s cough snapped the electrical current running between them.
“I need to go,” she said again. “But if I can somehow help with your project here at Wranglers, I hope you’ll tell me.”
“Thanks.” How generous to make such a gracious offer with all she had on her plate. “I will.”
She nodded once before she stepped around him and walked into the living room. “Come on, guys. Time to get home.”
Tanner watched in silent admiration as Sophie gently shook Davy’s shoulder, then Beth’s, wakening them in a tender loving tone. The children roused easily, yawning as they straightened.
“We had the bestest time, Mama. Thank you, Cowboy Tanner.” Beth insisted on calling him Cowboy. Tanner liked it. It made him feel as if he was somehow more noteworthy than the men she usually encountered. He basked in her sweet smile.
“You’re welcome, Beth. I hope you come again.” Tanner surprised himself with the invitation. Sophie’s presence here made his pulse speed up, and that made him nervous. He was all about not getting involved, yet there was something about Sophie and her little family that drew him, made him want to interact with them again.
“Hey, Mom.” Davy was fully awake now and full of information. “Bethy was telling Tanner how you homeschool her and how you’re the leader.”
“I’m just chairman of the homeschool association,” Sophie corrected gently.
“Whatever. Anyway I remembered you said you have to arrange an outing for the homeschool kids.” He grinned at his sister. “Beth and me think coming to Wranglers Ranch would be fun. I could come, too. To help,” he added, his chest puffed out.
Tanner hadn’t encouraged Davy when he’d posed the thought earlier, and he was glad he hadn’t because a doubtful look washed over Sophie’s face as she glanced from her son to him.
“You’d be a big help, son. But I don’t know about visiting a ranch. Not all the homeschool kids can ride horses. What would they do out here?” she asked.
“There’s tons of stuff to do.” Davy grinned at Tanner. “This old guy, Moses, knows all about the original settlers and the Indians that lived here first. He tells lots of cool stories.”
“And the horses need people to feed and brush them,” Beth added. “I got to pet a white one. It’s called Jeremiah, right?” she asked Tanner, who nodded.
“I’d rather ride Gideon. He looks like he’s fast.” Davy’s eyes glowed with excitement.
“Moses, Jeremiah and Gideon. Sounds like you’ve got an Old Testament theme going at Wranglers Ranch.” Sophie smiled at Tanner.
My, how he liked that smile.
“Burt’s idea. Every time he read a passage about a Bible character’s struggles, he’d figure out how he could apply that lesson to his own life. Then he’d use the hero’s name on a rescued horse to remind himself.” Tanner nodded. “We have Melchizedek, Ehud, Balaam—want me to continue?”
“I get the idea. Old Testament heroes.” She rolled her eyes.
“And heroines. Burt was an equal opportunity namer.” Tanner couldn’t smother his laughter when Sophie’s face twisted in a droll look. “No kidding. We have Rhoda, Abishag and Bathsheba to name a few.”
“Abishag?” Sophie’s chortles lifted the gloom that had settled over the house since Burt’s passing. Tanner felt as if the joyful sound swept the house free of grief and loss and replaced it with—hope?
“Maybe you haven’t read about her. Abishag was a beautiful young woman who was chosen to marry David in his old age and cherish him.” Tanner shrugged. “I’m not sure what Burt’s lesson about her was but there must have been one because he chose that name for a mare.”
“Abishag is a really pretty horse. She has black and white spots.” Davy turned to Tanner. “What kind did you say?”
“A pinto,” he said, then fell silent as the children regaled their mother with all the things they’d done with Tanner.
“Okay, odd names aside,” Sophie said when they finally ran out of stories, “since my kids are so impressed with Wranglers Ranch, maybe you and I should have a discussion about arranging for the homeschool kids to come here. This sounds like a great place to visit.”
Davy cheered so loudly the dog started to yowl.
“Sheba, quiet.” Tanner tried to shush the excited animal.
“Sheba.” Sophie slid her arm around each child’s shoulder. “As in queen of—?” She arched one dark eyebrow in a question.
“Everything.” Tanner laughed at her groan. It was such fun teasing with Sophie. He walked with her as she shepherded her family out to her van, waited till they were all buckled in, then leaned toward the driver’s open window. “I really appreciate those pies, Sophie. And I hope you’ll come again soon. Your homeschool kids are also welcome if they want to visit.”
“I’ll see what the rest of the board thinks. They might want to visit your ranch first.” She frowned. “Would that be a problem?”
“Not at all, but you should give me a heads-up before you come,” he said quickly. He liked to be prepared, get his barriers up, Burt would have said. “We’re working on replacement fencing up in the hills and I’m not always here.”
“Okay.” Was Sophie’s hesitation because she was as loath to leave as he was to have her go? “See you.”
I hope so.
He nodded and waved. When the van’s red taillights disappeared around the bend, Tanner let his hand fall to his side, marveling at how alone it suddenly felt in this place that had been his home for so long, the place he enjoyed particularly because of the solitude. Tonight he’d welcome company to stop him from thinking about Sophie, but Moses had disappeared to his little cottage after the kids had fallen asleep.
Tanner walked back inside Burt’s home, then jerked to a stop, suddenly seeing the rooms through new eyes. The updated modernity of the stainless steel kitchen and pristinely tiled bathroom didn’t match the worn and shabby masculinity of the living room. Whenever possible Tanner avoided sitting in Burt’s leather chair, the place where the kids had slept, because it had a spring that hit him in exactly the wrong spot. And it was becoming increasingly difficult to get comfortable on the stained and sagging plaid sofa, which was far too tattered to be restored by simple cleaning.
Tanner kept the place as tidy as he could, but tonight, through Sophie’s eyes, he wondered who in their right mind had chosen the dreary red-and-black wallpaper, which in no way went with the horrible mud-brown carpet that was alternately matted in places and threadbare in others. There was no warm, cozy feeling here, not like at Sophie’s home.
He thought about her suggestions for a day camp, which in his opinion had real merit. But if he pursued it there could be occasions when groups would have to come inside, say if it was raining or too windy outside. Burt had worked hard on the exterior appearance of Wranglers Ranch because he wanted those who visited to see his ranch in top-notch condition. Shouldn’t that include the inside of the house, as well?
This room definitely didn’t say “welcome.” Tanner didn’t have a clue how to achieve a hospitable feel, but he figured there were people in Tucson who did. He’d told Sophie he’d be working on fences, but his ranch hands were more than capable of doing that. He went along only in hopes the open spaces would help him figure out how to make Burt’s dream live. Instead Sophie had showed him how to start.
Tanner went back to the kitchen, grabbed his Bible from a shelf and sat down, prepared to ask God about his next move. Immediately his nose caught Sophie’s citrusy fragrance and his brain framed her laughing face.
Would she come back to Wranglers? Soon?
And why did it matter so much?
Chapter Three (#ulink_ae014ea6-c916-5350-83bb-40c1817f24bf)
Two weeks later Sophie ended her morning visit at the hospital after praying for added strength for Edna.
She thought God would answer that prayer because of Edna’s strong faith in Him. But as she drove to Wranglers Ranch, Sophie couldn’t bring herself to ask Him to affirm her decision to return to the ranch and the man she couldn’t stop thinking about. She just couldn’t trust that God would help her get over this silly attraction to a real-life cowboy.
“Do you think Cowboy Tanner missed us?” Beth asked from the backseat, completely ignoring Sophie’s advice to stick with plain Tanner. “Bertie’s mom told Cora Lee’s mom that it was about time you got us a new daddy. Are we getting a new daddy, Mama?”
“No, honey, we’re not.” Sophie forced herself to unclench her jaw. Why did Beth’s best friend have to be the son of the block’s biggest gossip?
I am not interested in Tanner Johns.
Her brain laughed. Okay so she hadn’t been very successful at banishing a host of mental images of the rancher and his lazy smile. But nobody needed to know that, especially Bertie’s mom.
“I want to ask you something, honey,” she said, changing the subject quickly.
“Okay.” Beth nodded. Her blue eyes sparkled with excitement. “Is it a secret, like what Bertie’s mom said?” She frowned. “Maybe I wasn’t supposed to tell what she said.”
“Oh, that wasn’t a secret,” Sophie reassured her with a mental grimace. The whole block probably knew about Tanner now. “Listen, Bethy. I need to have an important talk with Tanner and I don’t want you to interrupt. I brought your crayons so you can color while we talk.”
“Okay.” Her daughter smoothed out the skirt of the dress Sophie had made her. There’d been no talking Beth out of wearing what was meant to be her Sunday best to the ranch today. Beth had a big crush on her Cowboy Tanner. Like mother, like daughter? “Can I see the rabbits, Mama?”
“If you don’t interrupt, maybe you can see them when we’re finished.” Sophie frowned. “Do you understand?”
“Only interrupt if it’s important,” Beth promised.
Of course, Beth’s important never meant what it did to others, but Sophie knew it was the best she could hope for. Talking about it more now that they were arriving would only confuse her daughter. She turned the corner, frowning as she noticed a group of people scattered all over the front yard. Some sat on the patchy grass, sipping from cans of soda, while others carried stuff from a big delivery truck. What was going on?
She parked her van in what she hoped was an out-of-the-way place, then she and Beth walked toward the door. Tanner met them, his grin wide and welcoming.
“This is a bad time for you,” Sophie said, dismayed because she knew Beth wouldn’t settle with so many people around. Even now she was chattering a mile a minute to a man she’d never met. “You should have put me off. I need to talk to you but it isn’t urgent.”
“There’s no problem,” he said easily. “Hey, Beth.” He smiled at her daughter, admired her dress, then turned back to Sophie. “They’re almost finished with the deliveries. Just taking a break while the designer rearranges a few things.”
Designer? For a place for street kids?
Stop judging, Sophie.
“We can come back another time if it works better,” she offered.
“Actually I was hoping you’d take a look while you’re here and tell me what you think of my changes,” he said with obvious eagerness. “Come on in. You, too, Beth.” He took the little girl’s hand and led her inside.
This was not the entry Sophie had used last time, but it led directly into the same room where her kids had fallen asleep. Only it wasn’t the same. The dowdy old room had been transformed with the addition of a bank of windows facing north.
“It’s so pretty, Mr. Cowboy.” Beth’s eyes were huge.
“Brilliant idea to make the windows floor to ceiling.” Sophie was astounded by the light flooding the room.
“They’re actually doors.” Tanner showed her how one door folded against the other until the entire wall was open. “The workmen out there are creating a stone patio with lots of seating, including around a fireplace.”
So Tanner was using Bert’s fortune for himself. A flicker of disappointment wiggled through her but Sophie shrugged it off. Why did it matter to her that he was making his living quarters more comfortable? This room had been ugly and desperately in need of a face-lift. Tanner had the funds and there was nothing wrong with modernizing.
“I’m sure it will be lovely,” she murmured.
“Actually you gave me the idea,” he said, shocking her.
“Me?” Sophie blinked. “I said nothing about redecorating.”
“No, but after all you said about day camps I got thinking how this room would be a great place to bring guests if it was raining or something. That grew into ‘why not have a patio area, partly covered, where people could relax after their ride?’ Or it could be for entertaining. I might have to do that if we get groups—” He paused. “I don’t think you approve, Sophie,” he said with a frown. “Is it the furniture? Maybe leather sofas are too much, but the designer said they’re the easiest to clean if someone spills. I’ve heard kids usually spill.”
