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“Me?”
“Yes, you,” Zac shot back. “Everybody in Hope thinks you’re God’s gift.”
Kent snorted. “Hardly.” God’s failure, maybe.
“It’s true. They look to you for leadership and they do whatever you say. All you have to do is put out a good word about her clinic and Jaclyn will have more patients than she can handle. I should know. That’s how I got my job.”
“Not true. You got your job because you were the best candidate.”
“And because you put in a word with the board chairman.” Zac smiled. “I heard.”
“I only said it would be nice to have someone with a PhD running things.” Kent avoided his knowing look.
“So? You can do the same for Jaclyn.” Zac paused, frowned. “Can’t you?”
“I’ve already tried. But she’s big city now, Zac.” Kent stared at the shovel he held. “Designer everything. You know how that goes down in Hope.”
“I do know. Everyone still feels conned by the city jerks that came here, promised the moon and have yet to deliver. But so what?” His friend studied him for several moments then barked a laugh. “Surely you can’t imagine Jaclyn will leave? Don’t you remember high school at all, cowboy?”
“Which part of high school?” Kent remembered some parts too well. Like how he was going to marry Lisa and live happily ever after.
“Dude! The Brat Pack, remember?” Zac nudged him with an elbow. “Jaclyn, Jessica, Brianna and Shay? Their dream?”
“I had forgotten that.” Kent recalled the closeness of the four, the way Shay and Brianna had rallied around Jaclyn while her sister suffered. He vaguely remembered the friends discussing some future project they’d all be part of.
“They were going to build a clinic. Then Jessica died. The others decided to make the clinic as a kind of monument to her. They were each going to have a specialty. Jaclyn, the pediatrician who made sure no child ever had the lack of care her sister did, Brianna wanted to practice child psychology and Shay was going to be a physiotherapist.” Zac slapped his shoulder. “You’ve got to put in a good word for Jaclyn, man. She’s spent a long time nursing that dream.”
“Ah, yes, Brianna.” Kent frowned. “You wouldn’t still be waiting for your former fiancée to come back to Hope to work in this clinic, would you, Professor?”
“No.” Zac shook his head, his eyes sad. “I gave up that dream long ago when I heard Brianna had married.”
“Then what’s your interest?” Kent raised his shoulders.
“I live here. I knew and liked Jessica. I think it would be cool if Jaclyn finally got to make her dream come true and cooler still if you helped her do it. But that’s up to you.” He looked around, flexed his arm. “Want a hand? I haven’t got anything going on tonight.”
“Great. You’re better at cleaning than me,” Kent teased.
“If you consider this place clean, then I certainly am.” Zac and Kent worked as a team for several hours. As usual, Zac brought the conversation around to discussing his first love—Hope’s schools. “Are you listening to me?” he asked.
“Sure.” Kent blinked, grinned. “Not really.”
“Thinking about Jaclyn, huh?” Zac snickered. “I hear she’s changed.”
“I told you, she’s turned big city.” Kent shrugged.
“That doesn’t mean she’s different inside.” Zac drank from his water bottle while Kent sipped his coffee. “She’s still focused on that clinic.”
“I’d substitute ‘driven’ for ‘focused.’” Kent sat on an upturned pail. “It’s like the clinic will happen or she’ll die trying.”
“What’s wrong with that?” Zac asked.
“Lots.” Kent waved a hand around them. “What’s going to happen if I don’t get finished in time? She’ll lose her funding. But Jaclyn doesn’t hear my warnings and, far as I can tell, she doesn’t have an alternate plan. It’s the clinic or nothing.”
“So you finish this place.” Zac blinked. “What’s the problem?”
“The problem?” Kent made a face. “Oh, just a few insignificant issues, like finding someone to do the work, paying for it, spending time here that I should be spending on my own practice or the ranch—take your pick.” Suddenly the magnitude of what he’d agreed to swamped him. “I don’t want to be responsible for ruining her dream.”
“Her dream? Or Lisa’s?” Zac tilted his head to one side, his expression sober. “It wasn’t your fault Lisa didn’t get her dream.”
“Yes, it was. I’m the one who dragged her away from the city. I’m the one who wouldn’t leave the ranch when she asked me to.” The guilt multiplied every time Kent thought about his actions. He’d loved Lisa yet he’d hurt her deeply.
“How could you have walked away from the ranch?” Zac asked quietly. “You would have lost everything. That’s not what a responsible man does.”
“Not even at the cost of his wife’s happiness?” Kent growled.
“There’s no evidence that moving would have guaranteed happiness. Lisa was sick. You told me the doctors said moving would change nothing.”
“They said it, but I don’t know that. Maybe if I’d forced her into treatment—”
“You can’t force someone to be well, Kent,” Zac said, his voice somber. “You did what you could.”
But Kent knew he hadn’t done enough. He’d tried to force Lisa to see the good things about living on the ranch, but all she saw was a trap that kept her from the fairy tale dream in her mind of a happy, party-style life in the city.
Zac helped awhile longer then offered some advice before he left.
“Lisa’s gone. Leave her with God. He knows you did your best. He loves you and understands. Move on.”
God loved him?
After Zac left, Kent tidied up the place, gathered his thermos and shut off the lights while thinking about Zac’s words. Kent felt he couldn’t accept God’s love because he wasn’t worthy of it. Lisa would still be alive if not for him. So what if they’d lost the ranch? He’d persisted because he wanted to make his dad’s dream for the place come alive when he should have let it go and started again.
Shoulda, woulda, coulda.
The awful truth was that he’d chosen his father’s dream over his wife.
Kent wouldn’t make that mistake again. Somehow he’d get this building ready for Jaclyn, no matter what it cost him. It couldn’t bring Lisa back or erase his guilt over her death, but maybe it would ease Jaclyn’s grief.
He had to remember only one thing.
No matter how beautiful or how interesting Jaclyn was, no matter how many times he felt that zing of attraction when she smiled at him, there could be nothing between them.
Kent’s love had failed the one woman he’d pledged to cherish. That would not happen again because as far as he was concerned, he had nothing to offer a woman but failure.
Jaclyn was a friend, but that’s all she could ever be.
Chapter Three
“I’m begging, Pete. I know you’re full-time at the mine, but I just need a couple of hours of your time. That’s all.”
Jaclyn paused in the doorway, struck by Kent’s tone. Were plumbers so hard to get? She hadn’t considered that. She’d figured Kent would pick up the phone, hire someone to do the renovation and she’d move in. But he sounded almost desperate.
“I didn’t realize you had an exclusivity clause. Maybe if you asked them to waive it, they’d let you help with the clinic. It’s for a good purpose, for our town’s benefit. That’s what their people promised when they begged us to let the mine in.” He paused for effect. “This would be a good opportunity to keep that promise.” There was silence as he listened. “I really appreciate it, Pete. Thanks.”
Not wanting to be caught eavesdropping, Jaclyn waited a few moments before she let the front door bang behind her. “Hello?”
“Hi.” Kent blinked at her. He was covered in a chalky dust that turned his dark hair gray. He’d been putting on goggles but now pulled them away, his blue eyes meeting hers. “Are you slumming?”
“Pretty fancy slum you’ve got here,” she teased.
“Not yet, but it will be if I can get it done.” He frowned. “Did you need something?”
“No. But I thought you might. I came to see if there was something I could help you with this evening.” Jaclyn made a face. “Emergency was busy today—an issue with the mine. I need to work off the stress. I figured if you were into demolition, I’d channel my energy into that. Have you eaten dinner?” She glanced around amazed by the mess he’d created.
“I haven’t had time for dinner.” Kent gave her pristine clothes a dark look. “You can’t work here dressed like that. Leave this to me, Jaclyn.”
“Nonsense. I make a perfectly good gofer assistant and I can clean with the best of them. Besides, I’ve got the clothes issue covered. But first we eat. Deal?” She waited for his nod before setting down the two bags she’d carried in. She removed containers of Chinese food from one. “Come on. Let’s sample this while it’s hot.”
At first it seemed as if Kent would refuse. Maybe he was used to working alone, or maybe he thought she’d get in his way. Either way Jaclyn wasn’t going to let it dissuade her from pitching in.
“Thank you,” he said when she handed him a loaded plate of stir fried vegetables.
“Welcome.” She separated her chopsticks then speared a piece of pineapple. “Yum.”
“It is good. Thanks,” he said again, looking directly at her, his blue eyes bright.
“I don’t know if Chinese is rancher’s food but nobody in town has takeout steaks.” She giggled at his droll look. “I’m guessing by that kitchen of yours that Lisa was a gourmet cook.”
Kent’s hand froze halfway to his mouth, his face pale at the mention of his wife.
“I’m so sorry,” she said, feeling a fool. “I didn’t mean to bring back painful memories.”
“No, it’s okay.” He inhaled slowly then let out his pent-up breath before he spoke. “Lisa liked to cook if it was for entertaining—invite people over and she would go all out.”
“I remember some parties Lisa invited me to in high school. She was a fantastic hostess back then, and an amazing cook.” She watched the sadness of his face ease. “I suppose entertaining does provide an incentive to create. Not that I’d know. I can do basic cooking, which means I can open soup cans.” Jaclyn took a bite, waiting to see if Kent would continue talking about Lisa or if he would change the subject.
“What happened at the mine?” he asked. “Anything serious?”
Note to self, she thought: stop bringing up Lisa.
“A chemical explosion left burns on a number of miners. Emergency was swamped. This isn’t the day for the traveling doctors so the hospital asked me to help. There were no critical injuries, so that’s a blessing.” She shuddered. “I loathe treating burns.”
“Why?” Kent studied her with a puzzled look.
“Because of the pain. Kids or adults, it doesn’t matter. Burns are the worst for continued pain. After initial treatment there’s always the task of debrading the scar tissue to allow new tissue to grow—very time-consuming and more pain for the patient.” She blinked. “As a firefighter, you probably know that.”
“Since I’ve been on the job we’ve never had anyone badly burned, thank heaven.” Kent said.
“That’s lucky. Now—” Jaclyn lifted out a surprise “—I scored this from the bakery. Are you interested?”
“Who wouldn’t be interested in key lime pie?” Kent raised an eyebrow when she cut a slice.
“What?” She studied the piece then chuckled. “Too small? Well, okay then.” Jaclyn whacked out a much larger hunk of pie with her plastic knife. “Better?”
“Much better. Thank you.” He dug in with relish.
“I’ll have to jog for hours after this.” She tasted her pie and sighed.
“You can join Zac. He’s always jogging.” Kent told her about their other school friend, Nick, and she shared the latest on her best friends Shay and Brianna.
“I remember Shay was offered some kind of contract just after her dad lost his job,” Kent said.
“Modeling, yes. She felt she couldn’t decline it because they needed the money so badly. Her father was broke. But he’s gone now and she’s finishing her physiotherapy degree. And Brianna is a practicing psychologist now in Chicago.”
Kent finished his pie and added the plate and plastic fork to his garbage load.
“Both Shay and Brianna have gone through tough times.” Jaclyn gnawed on her lower lip. “It’s difficult to understand why things happen. Sometimes it seems to me that God expects too much of us humans.”
“I’ll second that.” The words spilled out of Kent in a rush of bitterness.
“I’m sure you miss Lisa,” she said before she could stop herself. So much for not bringing her up.
He nodded, accepted the cup of coffee she offered and they drank in silence for a while.
“I’m on call tonight so I might have to take off at any moment. We’d better get to work.” She cleaned up the remains from their meal then met his gaze. “What can I do to help?”
“It’s not necessary, really, Jaclyn.” Kent glanced at her clothes again then quickly busied himself donning his mask and gloves. “The meal was more than enough.”
Jaclyn let him go back to work then put on the white paper coveralls she’d brought, along with gloves and a mask. She began tapping the wall, trying to imitate Kent’s motions on the plaster surface. She must have tapped too hard because huge chunks dropped down at her feet.
“I’m not sure I need this much help,” he said, blue eyes twinkling.
“So tell me what I can do to help because I’m not going away.” She met his stare head-on, relieved when he finally gave a half nod.
“How about stripping the wallpaper?”
“I can do that.” She followed his directions and for the next hour worked feverishly, spraying, scrubbing and peeling away the old borders as she forced the stress from her mind and her muscles.
“How’s work going? Are you swamped yet?” Kent steadily removed the damaged material from the walls, never missing a stroke as he spoke.
“Ha! I wish. My practice is on the way to failure. People won’t even look me in the eye when I meet them on the street. Especially since I asked about the church and how it could be restored.” She yanked extra hard on a strip of paper and smiled as the entire piece came loose. “At last.”
He shrugged. “It might take a while but you’ll break through their reserve.”
“When will that be?” she demanded. “The day after the clinic closes because I don’t have any patients?”
“It’s not that bad,” he muttered.
“You think not? A woman came into the hospital with a sick baby today. I tried to help, but the mom took the kid away, saying they’d drive to Las Cruces. You know how far that is, especially for a sick child?” Frustration leached through though she tried to suppress it. “If this continues, it won’t matter if I open this clinic or not.” She gulped down her panic. “I need patients, Kent.”
