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The depth of emotion in Ali’s eyes made Jessie’s own begin to water. ‘Yes, I think I am.’
‘How does Monroe feel?’
Jessie looked down as she closed the dresser drawer. ‘We haven’t talked about it.’
‘Why not?’
‘I don’t want to pressure him.’
‘But, Jess, you have a right to know how he feels, don’t you?’
‘He cares about me. I know he does.’ He had made love to her so carefully, so tenderly the night before, it had to be true.
‘What’s the problem, then?’ Concern tinged Ali’s words. ‘You don’t look happy, Jess.’
‘I…’ Jessie paused, feeling guilty. She’d already broken the promise she’d made to Monroe. ‘He didn’t want you and Linc to know about us.’
‘Why?’
It was such a simple question. Why did she find it so hard to answer? ‘He says it’s because Linc warned him off. Told him not to touch me.’
‘That’s ridiculous. Linc wouldn’t say that.’Ali sounded so sure, Jessie’s confusion increased.
‘I know,’ Jessie replied softly. ‘After I thought about it for a while I came to the same conclusion. I mean, I know Linc can be a bit overprotective, but I’m sure Monroe got the wrong end of the stick somehow.’
‘There’s a very simple way to sort this out.’Ali headed for the bedroom door. ‘We’ll go and ask Linc what he said.’
‘No.’ Jessie caught up with her sister, held her arm. ‘You can’t ask him. I don’t want Linc to know about this.’
Her sister stared back at her for a moment. ‘I can’t believe you and Monroe think you’ll be able to keep it a secret. It took me about ten seconds to figure it out after we got back this morning.’
‘Yes, well.’ Jessie could feel the heat in her cheeks again but soldiered on. ‘I don’t think Linc’s quite as astute as you are. He didn’t spot a thing.’It had been almost comical, the way Monroe had been so careful not to touch her or look at her when the family’s car had pulled up in the drive that morning.
‘Linc was nervous,’ Ali said. ‘After what happened at Emmy’s party. I told him to ring Monroe and talk to him while we were in New York. But he wouldn’t do it. You know what men are like. They’d rather saw off their own tongues than talk about their feelings. But he’s desperate to make things right with Monroe.’
‘Monroe wants to sort it out as well, Ali.’ Jessie pleaded with her sister. This she understood. ‘That’s why I don’t think we should tell Linc about Monroe and me right now. They’ve got so much baggage to get through already. This will just cloud the whole thing. And anyway, we’ve only been an item for two weeks.’
‘But you’re in love with him, Jess.’
‘I know, but it’s still new. They’ve waited over twenty years to become brothers again. I don’t want to make it more difficult.’
Ali plopped down on the bed, her eyes clouded. ‘Did Monroe talk to you about their family, then?’
‘Yes, he told me about their mother. What she did to them. What happened to him in prison. He’s had such a tough life, Ali. He’s had to overcome things I couldn’t even imagine.’
Ali watched her for a long moment, then patted the bed beside her. ‘Sit down, Jess.’
Jessie perched on the bed. She could see the worry and regret in Ali’s face.
‘All right, Jess,’ she said. ‘I won’t tell Linc about you two.’
Jessie let out an unsteady breath.
‘But I still think you’re wrong about this.’
‘Why? I—’
‘I know you’re doing it for all the right reasons,’Ali interrupted her. ‘You’re warm and you’re giving and I think you’ve been waiting a long time to have someone to love.’
‘Do you think I’m being a romantic fool?’
‘No, I don’t, Jess.’Ali’s words were heartfelt. ‘I don’t think you’re a fool at all. But,’ she continued, ‘Monroe is a very complicated man. He’s not going to be an easy man to love.’
‘I know that. But, Ali, he really needs me. And I think he’s worth the effort.’ How could she explain to her sister how special he was? ‘He’s such a wonderful person in so many ways. He’s tender and caring and so careful with me. He’s also fun and exciting and…Well, you already know how gorgeous he is. And, Ali, he has the most amazing talent. He paints, portraits, landscapes. In oil, mostly. But, Ali, he’s got this incredible way of putting the emotion there on the canvas. I wish you could see his work. But he’s sort of shy about it.’ Jessie’s heart felt as if it were going to beat right out of her chest. It was so wonderful to be able to talk to someone at last about how she felt.
Ali put her arms around Jessie, gave her a tight hug. ‘I’m glad for you, Jessie. And Monroe. He’s a lucky man, but I’ve got one word of warning.’
Jessie stilled her features, the concern in Ali’s eyes stemming her euphoria. ‘I’m listening.’
‘By not telling Monroe how you feel about him. By not telling Linc about the two of you because Monroe has asked you not to. You’re putting his needs above your own, Jess.’
‘I know, but it feels right at the moment.’
‘Fine, but it can’t go on for ever. What you need is just as important as what he needs. Remember that.’
‘Hey, you want a hand with that?’
Monroe looked up from the lawnmower to see his brother walking towards him across the freshly mown grass. He wiped his forearm across his brow as he stood up.
‘All finished,’ he said. ‘I’m just gonna haul these clippings over to the garage. The garbage truck will get them tomorrow.’
Drawing level, Linc grabbed one of the sacks. ‘Let me take one.’
Monroe bent to tie up the other. They walked in silence across the lawn with the cumbersome garbage bags in their arms. Monroe waited for his brother to speak. He could feel the sweat trickling down his back. It was a hot day; the mid-afternoon heat was a killer. He should have waited until evening to mow the lawn, but he’d been antsy ever since his brother and his family had got back from New York.
‘Why didn’t you come over for lunch? Ali was expecting you.’ Linc’s voice was neutral.
Monroe threw his bag into the large trash receptacle in the garage. ‘Couldn’t. Got caught up doing the lawn.’
Linc dumped his own bag into the bin. He slammed the lid down and then whipped around to face Monroe. ‘That’s bull.’ He didn’t sound neutral any more; he sounded good and pissed. ‘Nobody asked you to do the damn lawn.’
Monroe’s own temper spiked. ‘I told you I’m not a damn freeloader—’
Linc held up a hand. ‘Can it. I’m not arguing about that again.’
‘I’m not the one who brought it up again.’ Monroe bit the words out.
Linc dragged a hand through his hair, huffed out a breath. He didn’t look angry any more, just miserable. ‘Hell, Roe, why don’t you come out and say it?’
‘Say what?’ Monroe felt a trickle of guilt.
‘I screwed up. I know that,’ Linc replied. ‘I shouldn’t have tried to give you the gift at Emmy’s party. It was too soon. You weren’t ready.’
‘It’s not that,’ Monroe said, the trickle now a bitter torrent.
‘You don’t have to pretend with me, Roe. I know we don’t know each other. But we were brothers once. I wanted you to remember. I was pushing you. I shouldn’t have.’
Seeing the torment in his brother’s face, hearing it in his voice, Monroe knew he couldn’t hold out any longer.
‘I do remember.’ He watched Linc’s eyes jerk to his, saw the rush of emotion in them. ‘I remember you always gave me birthday cards. Some of the ugliest drawings I’ve ever seen in my life.’
Linc shrugged. ‘I was never much of an artist.’ His gaze was intent on Monroe’s.
‘I remember when I was ten.’ Monroe’s voice cracked a little, he cleared his throat. ‘The last one you ever gave me. You said it was the Silver Surfer. Looked more like an icebox with wings.’
‘Hey, I thought that was one of my best.’
‘It meant something, Linc.’
Linc nodded, but didn’t say anything.
Monroe swallowed, forced himself to continue. ‘When you gave me that gift by the pool, it brought it all back. How it was when you were there, what it was like afterwards, when you weren’t.’
Linc sighed. ‘Hell, I didn’t mean to bring all that back, Roe. I’m sorry.’
‘Don’t be an ass.’ Monroe’s words were sharp, angry. ‘It’s always there. So what? It doesn’t mean a damn thing any more. You took me by surprise, that’s all. The duffel bag’s great, by the way. Just what I needed.’Seeing the pleasure in his brother’s face, Monroe realised he should have said something much sooner. ‘Thanks. It’s the best birthday present I’ve ever had.’
Linc put his hand on Monroe’s shoulder, squeezed and then let go. ‘Not better than the Silver Surfer card, surely?’ His voice was thick with emotion.
Monroe grinned. ‘You got me there—maybe not quite that good. But pretty damn close.’
Ali’s words of advice were still ringing in Jessie’s ears when she tiptoed through the garden that evening. It was nearly midnight. The grass was cool under her bare feet as she skirted the Cape Myrtle trees, their branches bending under the weight of their summer blooms. She’d waited until the house was quiet before coming out. She could see the lights from Monroe’s apartment blazing as always in the darkness, beckoning her back to him. The smell of lavender scented the sea air, making her smile with the romance of the moment.
She would tell him tonight. Ali was right. Monroe should know how she felt. Her love wasn’t some burden that he would have to bear, after all. It was a joy, a gift. He could take it or refuse it or put it to one side and think about it. But whatever happened, she wanted him to know about it.
She remembered the difficulty he had had in accepting Linc’s gift. The symbolism seemed so clear to her now. That was why she’d been afraid to tell him. Because she knew he wouldn’t know how to respond, what to say. It seemed cowardly to her now. She felt so happy, so confident. He was the right man for her. He might be unsure of himself but he didn’t have to be unsure of her.
She glanced up at his apartment window and saw his tall, lean figure standing next to the glass. He was watching her from the window. Her heart leapt into her throat. Her lover was waiting for her. She gave a quick, delighted wave, picked up the hem of her skirt and ran round the side of the building to join him.
As Monroe watched Jessie disappear from view, the weight of the guilt he’d been carrying around all day got heavier still. She had looked eager and so beautiful, the reddening twilight shining off that mass of fiery hair.
Bewitched, that was what he was. She’d cast some sorceress’s spell over him. He was so desperate to hold her again, his hands fisted at his sides. It was getting harder and harder for him to contemplate letting her go.
When he’d bumped into her that afternoon and she had whispered that she was coming over tonight, he should have told her no, made some excuse. But he hadn’t been able to. Not while he could smell that fresh scent of hers; not while she’d been looking at him with that combination of desire and trust that drove him insane.
So he’d told her to come, that he would be waiting. But as he heard her feet, light on the steps up to the apartment, as he turned and watched her step into the room, he knew that tonight he would have to start the process of drawing away from her. He would have to start putting the brakes on. He would have to let her see that there was no future for them.
‘Monroe, don’t look so forbidding. I’m positive nobody heard me.’Jessie ran across the room and clung onto his strong frame.
He hesitated for a moment, then his arms came round her, and he hugged her to him. She could feel the rough stubble against her forehead where he’d forgotten to shave again that morning. She could smell the wonderful musky scent of him that made her knees tremble.
‘I missed you,’ he said.
Jessie’s heart stuttered at his words. Could he possibly have said anything more wonderful? ‘Me, too.’
He pulled her dress off her shoulders, pushed her bra straps down.
‘I can’t wait. Is that okay?’ That he should ask, the need and arousal thick in his voice, made her heartbeat skip again.
‘That’s good, because neither can I.’ She laughed as he lifted her into his arms.
He carried her into the bedroom and in seconds they were both naked. There was little foreplay tonight, for none was needed. She was so giddy with the feel, the smell of him, that when he touched her core for the first time she was already slick and ready.
His tongue thrust inside her mouth as his fingers probed gently, stretching her and then retreating, stroking the swollen nub and making her cry out.
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