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His son.
The reality had him spinning. He handed the frame back to her.
“Why didn’t you bring Leo here in person?”
“He was sleeping. The nights have been a bit rough since he’s cutting teeth. I didn’t want to disturb him.”
News of a son had never crossed his mind, but now that he knew, he wanted to meet him in person right away. “Then you should take me to see him now.”
He started to rise, clumsily swinging his leg over the lounge chair, groping for his cane and coming up empty. As he stood, teetering to one side, Zoe scrambled to help him by slipping her arm around his waist to hold him upright.
He met her gaze, pity shining in the sapphire blue depths. Her fragrance surrounded him, just as her arms did. This close, he yearned to lean on her. Absorb her strength. Instead, he pushed away, forcing every fiber of his being to remain upright.
“I don’t need your help.”
She blinked, then quickly looked away. Spying his cane on the floor, she retrieved it.
He snatched it from her, angry because her look made him feel like half a man. He didn’t want her sympathy. He’d be better soon. Return to the man he once was.
The pounding in his head called him a liar.
“Mitch?”
Slowing his breathing, it took a few prolonged seconds to answer. “I’m fine.”
“My car is out in the driveway.”
Gathering up her purse and the picture frame, Zoe moved ahead of him as he hobbled along, holding the screen door open for him. Night had fallen since they’d been discussing his son. He made sure to concentrate where he walked to keep from falling flat on his face in front of her.
Before getting in the car, the overhead streetlight revealed a car seat in the back. A stuffed animal lay beside it. Reality hit him a little harder in the gut.
“Are you okay?” Zoe asked from behind him. “Do you need help getting in?”
Mitch ignored the question and slowly ducked inside. Zoe closed the door for him, making him realize how her news, compounded by his injury, threw him more off balance than usual. He thought the accident was the only event to upend his life. How wrong.
As Zoe drove through Cypress Pointe, Mitch noticed Main Street hadn’t changed much. Some of the gift stores were closed for the night, but the local restaurants were hopping with customers. The wind flowing in from the window he’d cracked open carried the scent of burgers, making his stomach nauseous. After settling in at Wyatt’s place, he hadn’t had much of an appetite. Sometimes the headaches were so skull-crushing he couldn’t eat until the pain eased. Tonight was one of those episodes.
The sights grew more familiar the closer she drove to their neighborhood. When she passed by their street, a sense of confusion enveloped him. He closed his eyes, tried to visualize the location of their house. Finally, he connected the dots. “You missed the turn.”
She looked at him quickly, then back at the road. “No. I live at my mother’s house.”
He frowned, an action that brought on another round of pounding in his skull. The doctors had told him stress would aggravate his symptoms. He hadn’t believed them until now.
“Since when?”
“After I found out I was pregnant. I had a few...difficult months. I sold the house and moved in with her.”
“You sold our house?”
She bit her lower lip, never taking her eyes off the road. “I’m... At the time, it was a good idea. And living with Mom is a great help. She adores Leo.”
He started to nod, then stopped. The pain hadn’t abated. “I get it,” he snapped. With the pain came mood swings he hadn’t entirely learned to manage. “I wasn’t here to help you.”
“No. You weren’t.”
The tension rose between them and the remainder of the ride couldn’t pass quickly enough for Mitch. When they finally pulled into the driveway, he had the door open before she’d completely stopped.
“Mitch. Be careful.”
He pivoted out of the seat, ready to send a zinger Zoe’s way, just as Samantha came out of the house, joy written all over her face. She drew closer and he was afraid she might try to hug him, so he braced himself in anticipation. When she saw the cane, she slowed. Her eyes went wide at his appearance and she completely stopped.
“Oh, Mitch. Zoe said you were...”
The pity in her voice had him grounding his teeth. He leveled his voice. “Samantha. Good to see you.”
He hated looking so helpless, feeling so useless. A shell of the former man.
“Mom, Mitch wants to see Leo.”
“He’s still asleep,” Samantha said.
“We don’t plan on waking him.” Zoe rounded the front of the car to join them. She glanced at Mitch. “Ready?”
In response to her question, he took a halting step forward, then another. She turned and led him into the house, followed by Samantha. Thankfully, her expression had changed.
They entered the living room of the roomy ranch-style house. He’d spent most of his high school years here, visiting Zoe, but also putting some distance between him and his father. The memories were a bit fuzzy right now, but he would never forget that this was where Samantha encouraged his gift. Where he’d taken the first steps in realizing a career that had ultimately taken him away from his family and friends.
Your choice.
Yes, it had been. In pursuit of freedom and adventure, his life had taken a dramatic turn. The ultimate price to pay: nearly losing his life.
“This way,” Zoe said, leading him down the dim hallway. She pushed open a slightly ajar door and disappeared inside the room. Mitch hesitated. Once he went inside, viewed his son for the first time in person, his life would change forever.
Zoe stuck her head back out into the hallway. “Mitch?”
“Give me a moment.”
Annoyance crossed her face, then she was gone again. His world suddenly tilted out of control. He braced a hand against the wall, tried to wrap his mind around the fact that he was a father. Did he have it in him to act like one?
Even when they were trying to get pregnant, the thought of taking care of another life had frequently crossed his mind. He hadn’t taken the idea lightly, no matter what Zoe thought. But unlike most fathers, he hadn’t had nine months to prepare for his role. In his case, he’d had less than an hour to get ready.
Once the panic subsided, he hesitantly stepped through the doorway. A small lamp set on a dresser sent soft light over the room. The scent of... Was that baby powder? In the corner sat a shelf filled with books. Plastic toys littered the rug in front of it.
Zoe stood beside a crib. From across the room, he could see her leaning over. Attending to the baby? She looked at him, the fierce love etched on her face stopping him from moving. He’d always thought Zoe was pretty, but now, she took his breath away. Becoming a mother had transformed her. She was no longer just his high school sweetheart. Before him stood a full-grown woman, a mother, who had become more beautiful in the time he’d been away.
“Come see your son.”
Leaning on the cane, he made his legs move forward. When he came to the side of the crib, he gazed down at the sleeping boy, who had one thumb brushed up against his lips. Mitch’s breath caught and completely left him for a moment.
Zoe moved to give him better access. He stepped closer. Leo’s chest rose as he inhaled and exhaled. Mitch stared, then began taking inventory, like he imagined a father would upon the delivery of his child. Ten fingers and toes. Light colored hair, standing on end. Chunky little legs. Rosy skin. Spiky eyelashes caressing his cheek.
A longing, unlike any he’d ever experienced before in his life, pummeled him. This was his son. His flesh and blood. A miracle.
“He’s so small.”
Zoe fingered the downy soft hair sprouting from his head. “He’s actually at the correct weight percentile, according to his pediatrician.”
“So he’s healthy?”
“Ear infections have plagued him since he first came home, but the pediatrician is on top of the problem. He eats well. Babbles up a storm.”
Mitch tilted his head to get a different view. “What color are his eyes?”
“Blue.”
He swallowed against the sudden thickness in his throat.
With halting fingers, he reached out. He barely touched his son’s arm, so soft and plump, then moved to Leo’s face where the tips of his fingers brushed his cheek. When Leo shifted in his sleep, Mitch jerked his hand back to his side.
“He’s okay,” Zoe said in a low tone. “Just resettling.”
Right. People moved in their sleep. Even babies.
She gently pushed Leo’s thumb from the proximity of his mouth. “He never took to a pacifier, so I have to keep his thumb away from his mouth.”
Mitch didn’t know what to say. Taking care of a baby was completely foreign to him.
“I’ll give you a few minutes.” She pointed to a white radio-looking thing on the dresser. “The monitor is on. Call if you need anything.”
As she walked away, Mitch gazed down at his son. His chest swelled. Was this what pride felt like?
“Hey, buddy,” he whispered.
Leo puffed out a breath, but instead of panicking at the child’s response, Mitch smiled. The longer he stood over the crib, the more a sense of protectiveness seized him. Now that the initial shock had worn off, he desperately wanted to be a part of this child’s life. No matter that he and Zoe had made a mess of their marriage, he was thankful they had produced this miracle despite things not working out.
For some reason, thoughts of baseball crossed Mitch’s mind. Little League. Rooting for his son as his short legs ran the bases. Wait, was he walking on his own yet? Had he taken his first steps? He’d have to ask Zoe. Before long, he’d tell his son stories about all the cool places he’d traveled to in the course of his career. Eventually, he would take Leo along. Include him in the adventures. Silently, Mitch vowed to be present in his son’s life. He would never be like his own father, distant and disapproving.
Yes, he’d continue to travel for his job, but he’d never close himself off like his own father. So rigid in his ways, he’d tried to squelch Mitch’s spirit.
As he got older and increasingly curious, Mitch would often sneak off whatever military base they were on and explore the local sights and, more often than not, take off on thrilling adventures. His father never approved. Luckily, when his dad retired, he’d brought the family to Cypress Pointe, although he’d expected his son to carry on the generations-old tradition of joining the army.
Ironically, it had been all those years growing up traveling from base to base that had given Mitch a severe case of wanderlust. So, he would show Leo the world. Give him options. Nurture him in a way his own father never had.
The door opened behind him. Zoe’s vanilla and floral fragrance reached him before she did. She took her place beside him again.
“Why Leo? His name, I mean,” he asked after a prolonged moment of watching their son together.
Zoe crossed the room to a basket of stuffed animals. Removing a lion from the top, she returned to the crib and held it out for him to see.
“Do you remember him?”
Mitch stared at the small animal with the fluffy mane. “No.”
“We were in high school. My mother had missed my debate team competition and I was really upset. A few weeks later, a carnival came to town and you made me go. To cheer me up, you said.” A small smile curved her lips as she brushed her fingers over the lion’s mane. “You won this at one of the game booths. Told me not to be sad or scared because Leo the lion would look out for me.”
Her misty gaze met his. “I found the lion when I was packing up our belongings at the old house to move here. I held on to this little guy and cried, over the memories we’d shared and the reality that I would never see you again.” She took a stuttering breath. “When Leo was born, I wanted to give him a strong name. I thought he needed it since he’d never know his father.”
Mitch swallowed hard.
He’d missed so much.
And on the tail of that revelation, anger at the events that had kept him from returning home simmered, but he held it in check. He’d deal with it later, when he could sort through his emotions and vent without giving Zoe reason to keep him at arm’s length.
“So, what do you think?” she asked.
“I think I can’t wait to get to know him.”
The frown again.
“What?”
“I just can’t picture you staying in Cypress Pointe long enough for any quality time with Leo.”
“My priorities will change.”
“Really?” Disbelief tinged her voice. “For how long?”
He turned, bit back the impatient retort he wanted to hurl at her. “For as long as it takes. He’s my child, too, Zoe.”
A mulish expression he recognized as trouble crossed her face. “We’ll see.”
“Do you plan on giving me a hard time about my place in Leo’s life?”
“No. But I won’t let you hurt him when you revert back to form and leave for weeks at a time. I won’t explain why his daddy isn’t here for the milestones in his life.”
Did she have that little faith in him that she thought he would abandon their son? The steel in her tone reflected exactly that. She had no faith that he would put his son above his career.
“I’ll be here.”
She snorted. “Right. Like every other time you made that promise, only to break your word.”
“This is different.”
Her brow rose.
Yes, he had let Zoe down. She’d never understood his need for adventure to begin with, but she had accepted it as part of the man she loved. However, once she’d wanted a baby, things had changed. With each miscarriage, he’d wanted out of the pressure and the expectations he couldn’t deliver on. She’d never stopped to consider how the loss of each baby took a piece of his soul, and because she was suffering, he’d never made his sorrow an issue.
But now that Leo was here, she would never stand in the way of his being a father. He’d make sure of it.
