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“I’m willing to help out anyplace I can.” Innocuous words. She’d see where they took her.
“I’m assuming you have certification? A state license to practice?”
“Yes.” Under her married name. The only legal name she’d had since she left Steve Smith seven years before.
“Can I have a copy of it?”
A vision of Devon Wright’s effusive smile as he’d said goodbye to her the day before flashed across her mind. A picture of little Olivia, the three-year-old who was having surgery in another couple of weeks and would need help learning to swallow again. She’d spent six weeks with the little girl already, earning her trust, preparing her....
Jenna had a job to do. Meredith had a life to live.
But she couldn’t live it until Jenna did her job. And only if Jenna was successful....
She’d been at this crossroads before. Three other times. And each and every time she’d given up not only the life, but the goals. The joy. She’d allowed Steve to take away more than just her freedom. He’d taken away vital parts of her....
“Your secrets are safe here.” Lila’s soft tone was like a buzzer in the cacophony rumbling through her mind.
“It’s not my secrets I’m concerned about.”
“You are safe here.”
She wasn’t concerned about herself, either. But knew better than to say so out loud. At least in this atmosphere.
She wasn’t here to recover from domestic violence. She had a mate who treated her with decency and respect. Who was fully a partner and companion.
She’d sought the life she wanted and obtained it, just as she had every right to do. She’d stood up, pressed forward. She’d dared to reach for her dreams.
She’d succeeded.
Steve hadn’t gotten the message.
She’d looked fear in the eye and her ex-husband was looking right back at her.
So she was going to stare him down. And the first one who looked away would lose.
This was it. Her stare down.
She wasn’t turning her back again until Steve was out of her life for good.
Because there was no way in hell Steve’s evil was going to touch Max or Caleb. At least not on a daily basis. Not as a way of life....
“You don’t have to take this journey alone.”
Jenna’s gaze focused outwardly again. Lila was watching her, and judging by her compassionate, almost knowing expression, she’d been doing so for quite some time.
The older woman had asked for her certification. For Meredith Bennet’s certification. And unlike the other personas she’d left behind each time Steve had resurfaced in her life, Meredith was not going to fade away.
Meredith had a husband. And a son. Both of whom she loved more than she loved herself. She couldn’t turn her back on them. Even if she never saw them again.
And that was something else she couldn’t think about. Because in order for them to be safe, Max had to believe that she’d left him. He had to move on. She had to let him.
And if she succeeded? If she lived to see herself free of Steve? Was it right or fair for her to hope that somehow Max would be available to take up where they left off?
“I can show you my certification.” She had a scanned copy on the tablet she kept in her purse. “But if I do so, I put someone I love at risk.”
“How so?”
Something told her Lila was different. More than a counselor. Or a paid helper. More than a crusader for the cause.
And maybe Meredith had grown soft. Maybe Jenna’s skin wasn’t as hard as it needed to be.
“Jenna McDonald is not my real name, but it is the only name anyone here can know me by.”
“And if someone here knows you by your legal name, who would be hurt?”
Jenna couldn’t think of a thing to say.
Lila sipped tea. Jenna wanted out. It was past Caleb’s bedtime.
Not a Lemonade Stand thought.
“Okay.” The older woman’s voice broke the silence again. Broke through the emptiness inside of Jenna. “Block the name out. Show me the certification and I can put you to work immediately. We have a seven-year-old boy whose speech has become practically paralyzed with stutters....”
“You can look up my license number and know who I am.”
“I didn’t say give me a copy, I said show it to me.”
“Okay.”
“Okay.”
“You want it now?” Jenna reached for her purse.
“Yes.”
She pulled out her tablet. Turned it on.
The certification was legible, but small. Holding the tablet with her thumb over her identifying information, she carried it over to show Lila.
The woman lifted her glasses. Read.
“Thank you.”
Jenna returned the tablet to her purse.
“When you’re ready, you bring me the rest of that and whatever I see there will remain between you and me. You have my word on it.”
“It’s not you, Lila, I just...”
Holding up her hand, Lila stood. “When you’re ready,” she said. “Just remember that I am here. That’s all I ask. When you need me, you do whatever you have to do to find me.” The woman repeated what she’d said the night before.
Jenna nodded, more because it was expected of her than because she could foresee any circumstance where she might do as the woman asked.
“And when you have something to say, there is space, right here, between you and me, to put the truth, no questions asked.”
Emotion rose inside of her, tightening her throat. Jenna picked up her tie-dyed cloth bag and slipped away.
CHAPTER SIX (#ulink_94204097-5e83-58ea-b24d-95a2322d332b)
“DID YOU WORK TODAY?” Max returned to the living room after exchanging wet scrubs for a pair of red basketball shorts and a gray T-shirt with a faded FBI emblem. It was left over from a trip he and Jill had taken to Washington, D.C., a decade before. As he walked in, he found Chantel standing at the mantel over the fireplace, looking at pictures.
Mostly they were of Caleb, taken in the different stages of growing from newborn to two. The center photo was of him and Meri, taken on their wedding day.
In one corner was an old photograph of a much younger Meri with her parents and little brother.
And in the other, Max’s favorite photo of Jill—in a sundress, not a uniform, taken on the day he’d passed his residency. There’d been a party. And she’d been wholly his wife that day. For the entire day.
It had been nice.
“Yeah, I worked and then headed up here as soon as I was off shift,” Chantel said, her back to the photos now as she watched him.
“Shouldn’t you be getting back?”
She’d asked to come in.
“I’m off tomorrow.” She was watching him. Chantel ran her finger along the edge of the frame that held Jill’s photo. “You remember that night?” Chantel asked. She’d been at the party, too. Everyone who’d played a part in their lives had been there.
“Of course I remember.”
“I got drunk and told you I thought you were great.”
Actually what she had said was that no other guy added up to him and if Jill hadn’t snatched him first, she’d have done so. He’d just completed his residency. Had already had an invitation to share a well-established pediatric practice. Everyone was telling him how great he was that night.
“I’ve been embarrassed about that ever since,” Chantel said now, while Max felt the computer in the other room drawing him.
Meri was “out there” somewhere. Facing a second night without him. As he faced a second night without her. Their first two nights apart since they got married. Even the night she’d had Caleb, they’d been together. She’d spent the night in the hospital and he’d stayed with her.
“I didn’t want you to think that I was coming on to you while you were married to my best friend,” Chantel said, turning back to face him, her hands on her hips.
She was a pretty woman. Slender. Blonde. Brown eyes. A little tall for his tastes. A little hard around the edges. But still, damned attractive. Especially when she smiled. And let her hair down out of its ponytail as it was now.
She wasn’t smiling though. “I loved Jill,” she said. “I would never have done anything to hurt her.”
“I know that.”
“She was such a fool, you know?”
No, he didn’t know. Jill had been larger than life. A true warrior. Everyone thought she was amazing.
And the way her life had ended, saving the life of a fellow officer, she’d died as she’d lived—a heroine.
“She didn’t get what she had in you,” Chantel said now. “If I’d been lucky enough to find a guy as great as you, I’d damn sure have thought twice about strapping on the gun and going out to fight crime.”
“It’s what she was born to do. Why should she be less than herself just because she was married?”
Okay, so maybe he’d have liked it a hell of a lot better if Jill could have been happy with a desk job. Making detective and tracking criminals with a little bit of distance. Or teaching at the academy.
But it hadn’t been what she’d wanted. Wouldn’t have made her happy....
“You could have had any number of great guys,” he said now, remembering the flock of admirers that always seemed to be trailing behind the attractive cop.
“I guess.”
“You seeing anyone?” he asked. Because he wanted to ask her to take him seriously and help him find Meri’s ex-husband. He was growing more and more certain that Steve was somehow behind this.
“I was seeing someone. A captain of another squad. It didn’t work out.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I’m not. And I didn’t come here to talk about my love life,” she said, moving away from the mantel. “I came to see what I could do to help you,” she said. “I heard the concern in your voice last night, Max. And while, officially, I’m pretty convinced that Meri left of her own accord and is fine, I’m also your friend. I’ve got the next couple of days off, and I wanted to make a personal appearance at the station here, which I did tonight, to talk to the guys and see what I could find out about where Meredith might be. You know...in case you want to talk to her, to maybe patch things up....”
It was a wonderful, selfless thing to do. A friend thing to do.
“I just...you called and asked for help and...it’s what Jill would want me to do, to help you. It’s...she made me promise, the night before you two married, that if anything ever happened to her, and you needed help, I’d be there. I just wanted to, you know, clear the air, first, in case you—” she tipped her head from side to side “—got the wrong idea about that...night.” With her thumb she gestured to the photos behind them.
He might have wondered a time or two about Chantel’s interest in him...but everyone knew that he and Jill had a good marriage. And Chantel was Jill’s very best friend. From grade school. It was understood that he and Chantel would grow to have a genuine fondness for each other. Hell, they’d spent every holiday of his marriage to Jill together.
And hadn’t spoken more than half a dozen times since his first wife’s death.
“You’re fine,” he said now, crossing his arms as he stood there in his bare feet eager to get to the business at hand. “No wrong ideas about that night. So what did you find out?”
“Nothing,” she said. “They aren’t looking for her. They hadn’t yet opened a missing person’s case when her van was spotted and they didn’t need to do so once they found her note. There was nothing suspicious, nothing that warranted expenditure of already limited manpower. Let’s face it, Max, an abductor isn’t going to stand around and wait while she writes a note.”
“He would if he was her ex-husband forcing her to write it.”
“I know. You mentioned that concern last night and in light of the fact that he’s an ex-cop, and that he was abusive to Meredith, I got someone to pull the parking lot surveillance tape where she ditched her van. Meredith was alone, Max. She pulled in. Parked. Sat in the car and wrote the note and then got out. There was no one there, forcing her to do anything.”
“Just because you didn’t see anyone doesn’t mean he wasn’t there.”
“What are you saying?”
“I know my wife. If she was going to leave me, she’d tell me to my face.” Kindly, no less. Meri was not only hot as hell, incredibly sexy, the mother of his child and the love of his life, she was also the nicest person he’d ever known.
“She did leave you.” There was no pity on Chantel’s face. But her concerned expression held more than just a cop’s distanced compassion. “That’s what I’m telling you.”
And he knew differently. Appearances could be deceiving.
“Meredith’s ex-husband was a fiend,” he said softly, as though Caleb might hear and understand what Max was saying. “He brutalized her, not only physically, but mentally, too. And got away with it because of the power his position gave him. I wish I knew more about him, but I gather he had a pretty impressive record with the Las Vegas police. I know he was older than she. Her family, both parents and a brother, were killed in a car accident when Meri was a kid. She was alone in the world. She grew up in a foster home. Met Steve through her foster parents. She married him at eighteen, and the first time he hit her was less than a year later. She stayed with him nine years.”
