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His dark eyes, the color of cocoa, met hers and for a moment she couldn’t breathe, the air bottled in her lungs, her heart constricting with anger and pain.
She’d never thought she’d be back, never in a million years. And hadn’t she thrown something like that in Marco’s face on their last meeting? Nothing short of death would make me come back to you!
Her head grew light. Her limbs felt heavy and brittle, as if coated with ice. Tiny black dots danced before her eyes and Payton forced herself to exhale, and then inhale. Exhale. Inhale.
She could do this. She had to do this. It was for the girls.
But looking at the girls—Gia’s small face almost white with shock, while huge tears filmed Liv’s dark blue eyes and clung to her lush black lashes—Payton felt a stab of utter despair.
They didn’t even know him! How could she leave them with him? How could she think this—he—was the solution? How could he be the solution? She had to be out of her mind.
Or out of options.
Dammit, it wasn’t fair. Life wasn’t fair. Life had never given her a chance!
“Hello, Marco,” she said, trying to sound natural and failing miserably. Seemed like she was failing at everything these days.
“Hello, Payton.” He echoed her greeting and he sounded so coolly, casually composed. This was the Marco d’Angelo that faced the media, the Marco of a million magazine and newspaper stories, the Marco photographed a dozen times a week, the Marco that believed his own press.
Her jaw ached and she realized she was smiling hard, smiling a tight fierce white toothy smile as though her life depended on it, and in a way, it did.
No matter what happened to her, the girls would come first now. The girl’s future was all that mattered.
She might hate Marco d’Angelo but he was the father of her children.
“I didn’t expect to see you here,” she answered, forcing more air through her lips, praying she’d find her footing fast. She felt ridiculously disheveled her eyes gritty and dry after the all-night flight.
“You left word that you were arriving in Milan this morning.”
She felt rather than saw the narrowing of his eyes, the press of his lips. He was irritated. Which didn’t surprise her. She’d always irritated him. He’d been so impatient during their brief painful marriage, so angry.
“I left word so you wouldn’t be surprised when I rang you from the hotel—not to arrange a ride.”
“You need a ride,” he answered simply.
“There are taxis.”
“My children are not staying in a hotel.”
“I’ve already made reservations.”
“I canceled them.” His gaze dropped to wide-eyed Livia who practically quaked on Payton’s lap, her small knees pulled to her chest and her inky ringlets intensifying the stunning blueness of her eyes.
Marco’s hard jaw tightened. “She’s trembling like a mouse.”
Payton heard the unspoken criticism in his voice, heard the reproach that was always there.
In his book, Payton had failed as a wife, a woman and a mother many times over. An Italian woman would have never made the choices Payton had made.
But she wasn’t Italian and he’d never given her a chance.
Her chest burned. She felt like she’d swallowed fire. “She’s…overwhelmed,” Payton said even as she hugged Liv closer, letting her more timid twin hide her face from her father’s displeasure.
Liv’s preschool teacher had nicknamed her Tender Heart, and it’d stuck. Gia was the fighter. Liv was the lover.
“And this one?” Marco demanded, nodding at elf-like Gia who glared up at her father, her small mouth flattened, perfectly mimicking his dark expression.
“Gia lost her blanket and she misses it very much.”
“Her blanket,” he repeated flatly.
“Yes.”
“And she must have it?”
“Yes,” Gia answered for herself. Her father was speaking English. She had no problem understanding. “I miss blankie. I want blankie back.”
Marco’s and Gia’s gazes clashed and then held. Gia didn’t back down easily and she wasn’t going to be intimidated now.
To think she was only three years old! Payton knew already these two were going to really butt heads, as Gia grew older.
Marco looked at her. “They’re not too old for blankets?”
“No,” Gia answered smartly, indignantly. “They’re our lovies. The doctor says we can have a lovie.”
Again Marco’s gaze lifted and he stared at Payton rather incredulously. “You tell them this stuff?”
“No,” Payton replied. “Their pediatrician told them. Dr. Crosby explained to the girls that they were too old for pacifiers, but understood that Gia and Liv still needed a lovie. The blankets became the lovie.” Payton’s chin rose. Things you’d know if you’d been part of their lives, she wanted to spit at him, but wouldn’t, not with the girls here, not when they were already so unsettled.
The girls needed breakfast and a nap. They needed routine. They needed time and attention and lots of love, but Payton said none of these things, biting the inside of her lip so hard that she nearly drew blood.
Wasn’t it ironic that at Calvanté Design in San Francisco, she had was known for her warmth, her skill, her compassionate approach in dealing with people and problems, yet the moment she came face-to-face with Marco she felt wildly out of control?
“I’m not crazy about the word, lovie,” Marco said with a grimace, “but if she needs her blanket, we’ll get the blanket.”
He lifted Gia out of Payton’s arms and into his. Gia stiffened, resisting him. She turned her small face away, giving him her fierce profile but she didn’t utter a word.
Gia was scared. Gia, who wasn’t afraid of anyone, or anything, was afraid of her own father.
Payton’s heart squeezed. It was never supposed to turn out like this. It was never supposed to come down to this. If it hadn’t been for that lab report she wouldn’t be here now, either.
Marco reached into his elegant suit-coat and retrieved his phone. “When did you last have the blanket?”
“Sometime between boarding in San Francisco and changing planes in New York.”
Gia turned her head slightly to look at Marco.
“So it’s on the first plane,” he said.
Payton’s shoulders lifted. “Or in La Guardia’s terminal.” It was difficult changing planes in the middle of the night with two sleepy little girls, a tangle of carry-on bags, and a fistful of boarding passes. Payton could have sworn she’d double-checked the girl’s tiny backpacks for the blankets but obviously she’d overlooked Gia’s.
Marco punched in a number and rattled off directions in Italian. Payton hadn’t spoken Italian in a couple of years but she had no problem following his rapid speech.
He’d called his assistant, the one that handled his travel, and he was telling her to track down the lost blanket. If his assistant couldn’t locate it from her desk in Milan, he wanted her on the last flight out that day to try to retrieve it in person.
Marco hung up the phone and put it away. Payton felt reluctant admiration. She didn’t always like his tactics but they worked. He usually got what he wanted.
Except he hadn’t wanted her, and he’d gotten her anyway.
Payton’s faint smile faded. “Thank you,” she said, hating the tangle of emotion inside her chest. She’d told herself she was going to handle this calmly, told herself that she wasn’t going to let the past influence this reconciliation but that was easier said than done.
Marco nodded. “Do you have everything?”
Payton remembered her suitcase. “My bag never made it.”
He bit back a sigh and his flash of irritation stung her.
He never minded helping the girls but he objected to helping her. The distinction had been made years ago. The girls might be d’Angelo, but she wasn’t, and she’d never be.
Payton filled the necessary forms for tracking her lost suitcase, felt Marco’s close scrutiny. He still held Gia but Liv clung to Payton’s leg, trying to put as much distance between her and that man.
That man. Their father. Payton realized it had all begun. The changes. The choices. The courage.
The limousine ride was quiet. The girls dozed. The tires of the car hummed on the road. Payton noted that Marco kept his distance, sitting as far from her in the back of the car as possible, and for that she was thankful.
As the tall stone house with the late Baroque facade came into view, her stomach tightened. Once she’d been so in awe of the elegant house with the high windows, perfectly painted shutters, curved iron balustrade. But now she felt fear.
Inside the house, Payton settled the girls into the bright, airy nursery, the plaster painted a warm yellow and the low shelves in the room filled with toys and dolls. Then with the girls happily playing, she knew it was time to face Marco.
Marco waited for her in the salon downstairs. His suit jacket disappeared. He wore a thin dark brown sweater that hugged the hard planes of his chest, the expensive leather belt at his waist emphasizing his lean, muscular build. He’d always been athletic. He looked dangerous now.
“You’re back,” he said tautly, reaching for the espresso a maid had carried in.
His voice sounded cool and hard just like the rest of him and it sliced through Payton’s exhaustion, sliced through the jumble of thoughts in her head and brought her the focus she needed.
Payton stiffened slightly, helplessly. “Not by choice.”
He laughed low, the sound harsh and grating. “I find that hard to believe.”
Thank God she didn’t feel anything.
She hadn’t been sure if she would. She’d worried about this moment for weeks, anticipating the moment she finally came face-to-face and heard his voice again, saw his face again and the fierce fire in his eyes.
Now the moment had come and her heart didn’t lurch and her stomach didn’t fall. No racing pulse, no ache of emotion. Nothing.
Absolutely nothing. Thank God.
She couldn’t have handed over her babies knowing that they—she and Marco—could have been a perfect family. She couldn’t have walked away if there’d been a chance for real happiness.
Now that she was here, now that she stood just a foot from Marco d’Angelo she realized that they’d never been in love. They’d never been really together, despite the vows and the ring and the children. They’d been just an accidental meeting.
She cleared her throat. “I didn’t want to argue in front of the girls, but I booked a hotel because I prefer to stay in a hotel—”
“You came all this way to see me but you want a hotel?”
God, she didn’t want to fight. She was swaying on her feet. Exhausted out of her mind. A fight was the last thing she could handle now. “I came so the girls could spend time with you—”
“And how do you propose they’ll spend time with me if they’re sequestered away in a city hotel?”
Payton drew another breath, trying desperately to stay calm. “They’ll spend the day with you, of course—”
“I work during the day. In fact, I need to leave to return to the office in just a moment.”
“You’re going back already?”
“It’s only eleven in the morning. It’s a work day, Payton.”
“But the girls—”
“Are sleeping right now, as they should be. They’re exhausted and obviously need the rest.” Payton didn’t say anything and his shoulders shifted impatiently. “You were the one that insisted on coming now. You didn’t ask my opinion, didn’t check with my schedule. Don’t blame me if I have work to do.”
She dug her nails into her palms. “I realize it’s short notice. I’m sorry about that. But I was hoping you could take some time off. Really get to know the girls better.”
“I’m getting married in a couple of months. I will be taking three weeks honeymoon then. It’s impossible to take more time now. But that doesn’t mean I won’t spend any time with the girls. I’ll make sure we have time together.”
Yes, just as he’d made sure he visited them often in California.
Payton felt a wave of anger roll through her. He’d always said she’d been selfish with the children that she’d turned them against him, but it wasn’t true. He’d never even tried to get to know them. He’d visited them less than a half dozen times in two years. What kind of relationship was that? “Your children are here for the first time in nearly two years—”
“And whose fault is that?” he bristled.
She closed her eyes. She couldn’t believe they were arguing already. It was all they’d ever done during their last twelve months together. The fighting had become unbearable. The tension impossible. “We’ll see you later this afternoon then.”
Marco’s thoughts weren’t on business when he arrived at the d’Angelo headquarters on Via Borgospesso in the elegant fashion district. He was thinking about the girls, and he made a mental note to follow up with his secretary on Gia’s lost blanket. It was imperative that the blanket be found quickly. Traveling was hard enough on young children without the loss of a favorite possession.
Yet on arriving at the office he was mobbed by a half dozen of his senior staff members, each with a pressing problem. They followed them into his office, talking at once. The men’s designer, his creative director, the vice president in charge of textiles and home collection—they were all crowding through the door, shouting over each other.
Marco shut the door, waved them toward the stylish modern couches against the wall. “I gather we have a couple problems,” he said dryly.
“A couple?” Jacopo rolled his eyes. He was the brainchild behind d’Angelo’s successful men’s collection. The House of d’Angelo had catered exclusively to women during Marco’s father’s time, but since taking over the business ten years ago Marco had entered new markets and Jacopo was the first new designer Marco had brought on board.
“Our number one mill closed their doors this morning,” Jacopo continued bitterly. “They’ve nothing for us. They fulfilled nothing in our order. We won’t have a single new textile for the show.”
“We didn’t contract with anyone else this year.” Fabrizio, the creative director, dropped onto the low black leather sofa, and threw an arm behind his head. “We’d decided this was the year we were going to go small. Work with one mill. We screwed ourselves.”
That was putting it bluntly, Marco thought, rubbing his temple, but it did seem to fit.
The closing of the mill impacted the women’s collection more than menswear. It would cripple womenswear and the fledgling home collection. “They can’t close their doors without fulfilling our contract. They’d open themselves to a horrendous lawsuit.”
