Puppies Are For Life

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‘Give it to her, I don’t mind. I don’t begrudge my daughter anything in her time of dire need, even if some would. Not when the whole world must seem to have turned against her the minute she’s set foot in it. Poor kid.’ He watched Susannah take bread from the bread bin. ‘I don’t understand what’s the matter with you, Sue. You’re her mother, for heaven’s sake.’

‘She’s a young woman now, Paul, not a child. Do you realise I’d had two babies by the time I was her age?’

That seemed to throw him a little. ‘God,’ he muttered, ‘were we crazy?’

‘Just normal for those times. You got married, scraped as much of a home together as you could for a year or so, and then got down to filling it. Just think if we’d waited until I was older, we’d still have little ones hanging around.’

‘Hmm,’ he said, still thoughtful. ‘I don’t mind our young Justin, of course, but little ones at our age …’

‘Well, that’s the way it would be if I had been your career-type,’ she pointed out. ‘Career women are putting off having babies until it’s practically too late to bear them. Over forty they are, in some cases. Here, the hot water bottle’s ready.’

‘Hmm,’ he said again.

It lay between them on the work top – a dingy flop-eared apology for a rabbit that Susannah had taken from the bottom of the medicine cupboard. It bore a label forbidding anyone to throw it away, on pain of death.

Paul finally picked it up and held it out to her. ‘I think it would look better if you took it up. Don’t you?’

Jan was in celebratory mood. She had opened a bottle of Côtes de Bergerac, prepared a crisply roasted duck, and made the farmhouse kitchen as cosy as possible – given the difficult circumstances – with candles and a huge fire: Now all that was needed was for Frank to loosen up a little after his journey, and they could have a memorable evening. But, having demolished the food and drunk two-thirds of the wine, Frank was still withdrawn and barely communicative.

She observed him across the table with the detachment that even a short separation can bring. Something was definitely wrong. Of course he was no spring chicken – nor was she – but the trip back from England seemed to have drained him far more than it ought to have done.

She reached out to the block of mature English Cheddar that now sat between them and cut herself another piece from its corner. ‘Absolutely delicious,’ she pronounced, popping crumbs of it into her mouth. With her cheeks sucked in and her eyes half-closed, she looked to be in seventh heaven.

‘Mmm,’ Frank said absently, toying with a crust of bread. It would have been more than his life was worth to have failed in the minor duties he had been given for the trip, and he congratulated himself on having at least managed to remember the block of cheese, the jar of ploughman’s pickle, the slab of fruit and nut chocolate, the eighty tea bags, and the three tubes of Jan’s favourite moisturising cream from Boots.

‘Have another piece,’ Jan urged, so that she, too, could help herself again without appearing greedy. ‘And,’ she ventured to add, ‘tell me when you think the money will be sorted out.’

So far they hadn’t talked much about the funeral or its implications; Frank had stripped off for a shower the minute he got in and she had been busy with the meal. But still Frank wouldn’t be drawn.

‘I suppose,’ Jan pressed on, ‘it’ll take ages, won’t it, having to sell Bert’s grotty old house before we can do anything else? Or did you get the solicitor to agree to hurry it all along? Couldn’t it be sold by auction, perhaps? Or –’

Frank swallowed down more of the wine while his wife prattled away, hardly aware of its subtle flavour; tonight he desired only numbness. Eventually, realising that even another bottle wouldn’t be sufficient to achieve that, he raised his travel-tired eyes to hers and told her as gently as he could that they could expect nothing from his brother Bert.

‘Oh, but … surely …?’ Jan suddenly lost her appetite and let fall her piece of cheese.

Fingering a locket that hung perpetually round her neck, her gaze wandered past Frank’s left shoulder and pierced the gloom. In the light of the wavering candle-flame her closely shorn head appeared gaunt, her neck thin and scrawny, and her eye sockets deeply shadowed. Only her eyes shone through like glittering marbles.

‘Well, who is going to get Bert’s house? Susannah? Not that I’d begrudge it her really. You know I hold nothing against her, even though she’s never taken to me …’

‘No, well, it’s not Susannah; it’s some old flame of his.’

Jan giggled her relief. ‘Now I know you’re teasing me. For a minute I thought –’

‘No! No I’m not, Jan. Honestly. I only wish I were.’

And Jan could see from his face that he was telling her the truth. ‘But –’ Her gaze wandered over his shoulder again. She could just about make out the tarpaulin that stretched from one side of the farmhouse to the other. It concealed a door-less, window-less construction yawning open to the winter sky. ‘I never knew Bert had an old flame. The wily old devil.’

‘Not so much of the “old”. Don’t forget he was younger than me.’

‘Yes, but he always seemed so much older, somehow, on the few occasions I met him.’ She sat back in her chair, her hands slapping down on the table. ‘Well, this is a turn-up for the books, I must say. What are we going to do now?’

‘I’m sorry, Jan, really I am.’ Frank ran a hand over his face and looked glummer than ever. ‘Why don’t you go ahead and say it: it’s all my own stupid fault? I should have been nicer to Bert while he was alive. Brotherly love and all that. Then we’d be out of this dreadful mess.’

Jan let out a sigh. ‘I never wanted to be married to a hypocrite, Frank. At least you’re always honest about your feelings.’

‘Yes, and just look where it’s got us: well and truly in the mire.’

It wasn’t in Jan’s nature to be down-hearted for long. ‘Actually,’ she pointed out, ‘apart from your air fare for the trip, we’re no worse off than we were a week ago.’

‘We’re not a jot better off, though, either.’

‘But at least we’ve got each other.’

Frank managed a smile at last. Dear old Jan. He should have known she would hold nothing against him.

He looked at the remaining goodies, unpacked in delighted haste and still scattered across the table. It had been a horrendously expensive shopping trip, all in all, but well, what the hell …