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Rachel blinked a little, shaking her head. “We haven’t seen him today. Is something wrong?” She felt a small hand slip into hers. Mandy had come to stand next to her. She didn’t speak, but she studied her grandfather curiously.
“Nothing.” His expression belied the word, but it was clear that he wasn’t going to confide in her. Still, the very fact that he’d come to her door made it clear that he was worried about Benj. “He missed his supper, and his mamm is fretting about it.”
“Is Benj in trouble for missing supper?” Mandy asked.
Her father stared at Mandy for a moment, and Rachel had a sense that his expression was softening. “Not in trouble. But he should tell his mammi if he is going to be late, ja?”
“Ja,” she echoed.
Daad raised his hand in a slight gesture, as if about to touch Mandy’s face. Then he let it drop to his side and turned away.
Rachel’s heart cramped. Daadi, I know I broke your heart when I ran away. But I’m back now. Can’t we be friends, at least, for Mandy’s sake?
She wouldn’t say it, because she was afraid to hear his response.
“If I see Benj...” she began.
“If you see him, send him home. He has missed his supper.”
“I’ll tell him.” But she was talking to her father’s back as he walked away.
Rachel closed the door. She had known it wouldn’t be easy, coming back. She just hadn’t thought it would cause so much pain.
“Mommy, why doesn’t he like us?” Mandy didn’t sound hurt so much as curious.
“He doesn’t dislike us, sweetheart.” She picked her way through the thicket of explaining incomprehensible adult behavior to a child. “You see, he and my mother were really hurt when I ran away from them to marry your daddy. I think it’s hard for him to forget that.”
“Well, but you’re back now.” Mandy’s tone was practical. “I wish we could make up and be friends. Then I’d have a grandpa and grandma like everybody else.”
“I wish that, too.” She couldn’t let Mandy see her pain, because it was important that Mandy know she could count on her mother to be strong. “Maybe it will happen. We just have to be patient.”
Mandy stared at her for a long moment in much the same way she’d studied Daadi. “I’ll try,” she said finally, as if being patient was the hardest thing in the world. Well, maybe it was to a nine-year-old.
Rachel managed a smile. “Now, why don’t you find something to do while I finish up the dishes? Maybe we’ll have time for a game afterward.”
Mandy nodded. “I know just what to do. I’m going to make a picture of Duke. I’ll show you when I’m done.” She darted off, the kitchen door swinging behind her.
Rachel stared at the sink. She ought to get moving on the dishes. She ought to do a lot of things, but right now all she could think about was Benj. Her parents had to be very worried indeed for her father to come to her door.
The back window looked out over the outbuildings and beyond them to the creek and the covered bridge that crossed it, delineating Amish farms from the village proper. Daad had already appeared on the other side of the covered bridge. He paused for a moment, looking downstream, and fear curled inside her. Twenty yards or so beyond the bridge the stream tumbled over the small dam that had been there as long as anyone could remember. Pearson’s Dam, it was called, but she had no idea who Pearson had been. The dam wasn’t more than three feet high, but the force of water was such that a person could be swept under by it as if caught in a riptide. That was what had happened to Aaron Mast.
But Daad was walking on, heading for the stretch of woods along the south pasture. Obviously there had been no one at the dam.
Still, the fear was admitted, wasn’t easily dismissed. She ought to do something, but what?
A memory slid into her mind as if it had been waiting for the chance. Colin had said he’d expected Benj to show up to work on the lawn. Maybe that was the answer.
Without giving herself time to think about it, she went quickly to the telephone in the hallway. It was the work of a moment to look up Colin’s number and punch the buttons. If Colin thought she was making an excuse to call him—
She nearly hung up at that thought, but she already heard his voice in her ear.
“Colin, it’s Rachel Mason. I’m sorry to bother you, but is Benj at your place, by any chance? My father is looking for him.”
“He’s not here now. Let me ask my father if he came over earlier.”
She heard the sound of muffled voices and could tell that the answer was negative even before Colin came back on the line.
“Dad hasn’t seen him today. Is something wrong?” His voice deepened on the question, and she knew he was revisiting their earlier conversation about Benj.
“No...no, nothing.” That wasn’t quite true, but it also wasn’t Colin’s business.
“Come on, Rachel. You wouldn’t be calling me if nothing was wrong, now would you?” Something that might have been amusement threaded the concern in his tone. “What is it?”
“My daad stopped by to see if Benj was here, that’s all. He didn’t come home for supper. It’s not exactly earthshaking.” She tried to sound as if she were taking Benj’s absence lightly and was afraid she didn’t succeed.
“I’ll come over,” Colin said instantly, proving that she hadn’t deceived him.
“No, don’t do that. He’s probably turned up by now.” She rushed the words, regretting that she had called. “Thanks.” She hung up quickly, before Colin could say anything else.
Walking to the rear window, Rachel peered out. She couldn’t see her father now. Had he gone back to the house? Or had he walked into the woods beyond the pasture?
Standing here worrying wasn’t helping. She went quickly to the bottom of the stairs. “Mandy, I’m going outside for a minute. I’ll be right back.” Her voice seemed to bounce around the turn in the stairs.
“Okay, Mommy.”
Judging by the sound, Mandy was in her room, probably hard at work on the promised picture. Since that room overlooked the willow on the side of the house, Mandy would be unlikely to see her in the backyard, looking...well, she wasn’t sure where she was going to look. She just knew that doing nothing wasn’t an option.
Pulling on the navy windbreaker that hung in the back hall, Rachel slipped out the back door. The sun was just beginning to disappear behind the ridge, and she knew how quickly darkness could claim the valley after sunset. The air was already cooling, and she was glad of the jacket.
The garage, the old stable, other outbuildings she hadn’t yet identified—there were plenty of places for a skinny teenager to hide, even without going into the woods. But why was she thinking about hiding? Logically speaking, Benj had no reason to hide, but fear wasn’t logical, and she had seen fear in her little brother’s eyes lately, no matter how he tried to hide it.
She walked past the outbuildings toward the covered bridge. Daad had already looked there, of course. She’d seen him. But that didn’t stop her from wanting to have a quick glance herself.
The inside of the one-lane bridge was already dark, with the arched opening at the other showing an empty stretch of lane. The covered bridge had only one window cut into the side that looked downstream. It was a simple, utilitarian structure, built over a century ago to provide both access to the village from the farms and to give farmers a place to shelter a loaded wagon in case of a storm.
Rachel put one hand against a rough-hewn timber and shivered. When she was young, she’d seen the bridge as her gateway to the world. Now it seemed a barrier, cutting her off from what had once been so familiar.
Shaking away the thought, she turned back the way she’d come. She stepped out of the bridge and found herself face-to-face with Colin. Her breath caught.
“What are you doing here?” That came out more sharply than it should have, probably.
“Has Benj turned up yet?” He answered with a question of his own.
She shook her head. Surely Daad would let her know if Benj had been found. He’d know she was worried.
“I’m sure he’s fine. Goodness, he’s fourteen, not four.” But she couldn’t prevent a sideways glance down toward the dam, spilling over into its pool.
“You’re imagining him falling over the dam. Not very likely.”
Colin was quick as a cat, and it annoyed her that he read her so easily.
“No, of course not. Someone mentioned the deaths that have happened there, and I guess it was in my mind, that’s all.”
“Deaths?” Colin frowned for a moment. “Aaron Mast, I remember his drowning. And there was a story before that of an Amish girl who’d drowned—I think the grown-ups just used that to scare us away.”
“I didn’t hear about that one. Maybe my parents didn’t think I needed scaring. But what about Ronnie’s dad?”
Colin just stared at her for a moment, and then he frowned. “He didn’t drown. He was fishing in the pond, I think, and he had a heart attack.”
“I don’t know why we’re talking about that, anyway.” She took a step toward the house, rubbing her arms. The sun had completed its descent, taking the warmth of the day with it. “Benj isn’t there, and wherever he is...” She let that trail off. Where was he?
“I know where he might be,” Colin said.
She whirled on him. “If you know, why didn’t you say so, instead of upsetting me with talk about people drowning? Where is he?”
“I said might.” Colin nodded toward the stable. “I happened to see him in there yesterday. Let’s have a look.”
He led the way, moving so quickly that she had to hurry to keep up. “I don’t see why—” she began, but he gestured her to be quiet.
The door was partially open. Why hadn’t she noticed that before? Colin stepped inside, and she followed him.
The dusty windows let in very little light. She blinked, trying to get her eyes to adjust to the dimness. Castoff furniture and boxes containing who knows what were stacked so high that they loomed like creatures preparing to attack.
A click, and then light blossomed, turning the lurking shadows into a pathetic collection of junk. Colin had obviously brought a flashlight. He aimed the beam on a narrow passageway between the crates.
“Come on out, Benj,” he said. “I know you’re in here.”
Nothing. Silence, save for some vague creaks. She shook her head. “This isn’t doing any good.”
Colin ignored her, bending to focus the flashlight beam into the hole. “Don’t make me come in there after you. It wouldn’t be a pretty sight.”
She started to turn away and then swung back at a scuffling noise, her breath catching. Benj came crawling slowly out into the light, blinking as if he were a mole hauled into the daylight.
“Ja, all right. I am here.”
Rachel grabbed him, pulling him to his feet, not sure whether she wanted to hug him or shake him. “Benj, what on earth are you playing at? Do you know Daadi was here looking for you? What do you mean by scaring everyone that way?”
He looked up at her, his expression so strained and miserable that she wanted the scolding words back.
She touched his cheek gently. “What is it, Benj? Please, tell me what’s wrong.”
“I can’t.” It came out as a whisper, and his head dropped so that he wasn’t meeting her eyes. “I promised.”
“A promise that makes you scared to death and upsets your family? What kind of a promise is that? Benj—” She ran out of words, not sure what to say in the face of his stubborn silence.
“Wake up, Benj.” Colin’s voice was so stern that her brother’s head jerked back, his eyes going wide. “Okay, you made a promise. Trust me, I remember promises like that—stupid ones that you knew when you made them weren’t worth it.” Colin sounded as if he really was talking about himself. “It’s time to straighten up and act like a man, not a kid. Now tell your sister what this is all about before I pull your dad in to hear it.”
“No, don’t.” Benj’s face went even whiter, if that were possible. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean...” Tears welled in his eyes, and he knuckled them away, shamefaced. “I don’t know what to do. Will made us promise not to tell. But now Will is gone, and I don’t know what to do.”
“Will Esch?” Colin rapped out the question.
Benj nodded, choking back a sob.
Will Esch. Rachel repeated the name silently. She knew the family. Will must be a couple of years older than Benj.
“What do you mean, he’s gone?” Colin seemed to be having more success getting information out of Benj than she had, so Rachel forced herself to keep silent.
“He...he was gone when his mother went to call him today. They think he’s run off. But what if he didn’t? What if something happened—” He fell silent so suddenly it was like shutting off a tap. He shook his head. “After I heard, I couldn’t go home. Daadi would know the minute he looked at me that something was wrong. I had to think on it a bit.” He gestured toward the hiding place, as if to say that had been his haven for thinking through his troubles.
“Okay, so you and Will and somebody else were involved in something you shouldn’t have been, and Will made you promise not to tell anyone for fear you’d get into trouble.” Colin had put the story together more quickly than she had.
Benj gulped and nodded.
“That doesn’t explain why you’re so scared. Come on, out with the rest of it.”
The command in Colin’s tone would have convinced someone a lot more sophisticated than a fourteen-year-old Amish boy, and Rachel could only be thankful he was there. She’d never have gotten this much out of Benj on her own.
“We were...we were trespassing.” The way Benj seemed to be editing his words made Rachel fear they’d been doing something worse than trespassing. “And there was a man—he yelled at us, and we ran. But he...he had a shotgun. We got away, and Will said it would be all right as long as we didn’t tell anyone, that the man couldn’t know who we were. Will said if I told I could end up in jail.” He seemed to run out of steam, his voice trembling.
Colin exchanged glances with her. “Look, first of all, nobody is going to put you in jail for trespassing. Secondly, if Will got a good scare over this, maybe he did decide to scoot out of town for a while.”
“Maybe. Maybe he’s hiding, but then maybe the man will come after me.”
It sounded absurd, but obviously her brother took the possibility seriously. “Benj, this isn’t something you can handle on your own. You need to tell Daadi—”
“No!” Benj took a step back, his eyes widening. He looked more afraid of telling Daad than of the man with the shotgun. “Please, Rachel, I can’t. He would be so...so...”
“Disappointed.” She finished the sentence for him. Of all people, she knew what it was like to disappoint Daad.
“Ja. Please...I—I know I should tell him, but not yet.”
“Your dad’s going to want to know where you’ve been,” Colin said. “Are you going to lie to him?”
Benj shook his head. “I’ll tell him I was over at Joseph’s and forgot the time. That’s the truth. Just not all of it.”
Rachel could only hope he hadn’t picked up that rationalization from her, back when she’d been hiding her meetings with Ronnie. “But if Will is hiding, Daad ought to know, so he can talk to Will’s folks.”
“I can’t. If I told Will’s folks, he would...” Benj let that trail off, as if he couldn’t imagine what Will might do. A tear trickled down his cheek, and he didn’t even attempt to wipe it away. “Rachel, promise me. Promise me you won’t tell Daadi. Please.” He caught her hand, clinging to it, and her heart seemed to jolt.
She couldn’t speak for a moment, and the silence seemed alive with crosscurrents—Benj’s desperation, Colin’s determination, her own indecision.
If she told Daad, she would ruin the relationship she’d begun to build with her brother. If she didn’t tell him, and Daad found out, he would never forgive her. Either way, she stood to lose.
But she didn’t really have a choice, not with her brother looking at her with such despair in his eyes. “I will not tell Daad,” she said slowly.
She wouldn’t. Which meant she had to find a way of dealing with the situation Benj had gotten himself into on her own.
CHAPTER FIVE
