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As I turned to close the door, I was startled to see Sula, Lugine and Bethea sitting at the kitchen’s long slab of a table, their faces grim. They shouldn’t have been back in the residential part of the temple yet—adulations were barely over. Moreover, it was more than a little strange for all three of them to be in the same room together like this. What would bring them all here at this hour?
My hands trembled as I dumped the sacks of oysters into the tin trough at the end of the table and shrugged out of my sweaters. I sent up a silent prayer to my twin. Watch my back, will you?
“Before you say anything, I know I should’ve gone to adulations this morning, but I hadn’t yet had any luck this month, and I wanted to find at least one pearl for you before my birthday.” I gave the women my best smile, which none of them returned.
They were each powerful within their orders. Anchorite Sula supervised all that went on in the trade library and made certain that each of the temple’s charges were assigned a craft or else made our way into the Shriven. Anchorite Lugine oversaw my work as a diver in the summer and in the canneries in the winter. Long-suffering Anchorite Bethea, the eldest of the three, was responsible for the spiritual education of us brats the temple took in. They were the closest thing I had to real parents. Though, to be fair, they were collectively about as warm as an ice floe. I’d spent my whole childhood with their eyes on me, watching me with the same wariness they’d use with a rabid dog.
Once, when I was barely seven, a gang of grubby urchins cornered me in a back alley. One of them managed to break my nose before I fought my way free. I ran through the streets, blood and tears streaming down my face, and sought comfort from Lugine in the kitchen. She’d taken one look at me, thrown me a dishrag and set me to scrubbing pots. From then on, when the other brats came after me, I scrambled up onto the roof of the nearest building or into a dank corner to hide.
That was how Sawny and I’d found our spot on the temple roof.
Sula sighed. “We’ve long since given up on forcing you to attend daily adulations, Obedience.”
My jaw clenched. I hated being called by my given name, and she knew it. The name “Obedience” had always seemed like a cruel joke. “I’d prefer you call me Vi, Anchorite.” I fetched a plain ceramic bowl and a spoon from one of the shelves that lined the walls of the cavernous kitchen. “My birthday’s not ’til tomorrow, and before you ask, I already sent my ma a birthing day note. Did you come to tell me you’d miss me when I leave?”
I lifted a ladle from its hook and started toward a pot of rich broth studded with root vegetables and chunks of lamb. Before I got close, a low, disapproving sound from Lugine stopped me. I turned to the half-congealed pot of pea and oat mush on its hook at the edge of the hearth instead and filled my bowl, and settled myself on the rough bench across the table from the anchorites to eat. Diving was hard work, and trouble or not, I was ravenous. I shouldn’t have provoked her with the stew, though. Not when she already looked so angry.
“Tell me, Vi. What are the rules of the pearl trade?” Lugine asked.
I swallowed my spoonful of lumpy mush and recited the rules I’d been taught since I began to train. “All the fruits of the dive must go toward the betterment of the temple and its occupants. The meat to feed the servants of the goddesses and gods, the pearls to glorify the goddesses and gods by making their home and their servants beautiful.”
“And why are laymen allowed to partake in the bounty of the sea?” Bethea asked.
“So that they, too, may share in the glory of Hamil’s gifts.”
Sula nodded. “And how do the laymen honor the god’s gifts to them?”
“I don’t plan to stay here and keep diving, Anchorite,” I said. “I’ll look for work in the North, near my ma’s people.”
“Answer the question.”
I sighed. “Laymen must offer their bounty to Rayleane, Hamil’s partner, to thank him for his gift. They can keep what the goddess doesn’t want and be paid for their service besides.”
The anchorites stared at me in silence. I set my spoon on the table, the pouch of pearls burning between my breasts. A wave of cold ran over me, and I tried not to shiver.
Finally, Bethea asked, “What is the penalty if a layman is found to be giving the goddess less than her due?”
“What is this about?” I asked, though the answer weighed heavily on a thong around my neck. They’d found my stash. That was the only explanation for this interrogation.
They waited, unblinking. Lugine’s brow furrowed. Bethea bit the inside of her cheek. Sula’s face was implacable, as always.
“They suffer the same penalty as any thief, time in jail and half of their earnings until their debt is doubly paid.”
“And what is the penalty for a thief who is diminished?” Sula asked.
Lugine stared at her lap, and Bethea cleared her throat. So. This is how it would end. Just shy of sixteen years, and not a day without someone’s terrified glance. I’d long ago accepted that no one would ever hold me, kiss me, love me, but I had hoped that I would at least have one day when no one looked at me with fear in their eyes.
“Death,” I whispered.
“Do you know why we are here?” Sula asked quietly.
I nodded, studying the table, tears hot in my eyes. I wasn’t ready to let go. I’d held on for so long.
“We sent Shriven Curlin to pack your things in preparation for your birthday. She brought us this.” Sula slid the wooden box full of cultured pearls across the table toward me. My pearls. My savings. Of course Curlin had known where to look for my secrets. She’d shared the room with me for years. “You know, if you were to join the Shriven, you would be exempt from any penalty.”
Fury flooded me. Nothing, not even the threat of death, could make me become one of those mindless, soulless murderers. The people of Alskad might think that the Shriven were righteous, holy even, protecting them from the atrocities of the diminished, but I knew better. I’d grown up in the temple. I knew the kinds of poison that ran through their veins.
“Over my rotting corpse,” I snarled.
Lugine drew in a sharp breath, but Sula put a calming hand on her arm.
“We assumed you’d say something of the kind.” Bethea laid a stack of papers on the table.
“What’s that?” I asked warily.
“A choice,” Sula said. “We care for you, as much as you may not believe it. We’ve not brought this matter before the Suzerain. Instead, we’ve decided to let you choose your own path. You may either join the ranks of our holy Shriven, or you will be sent to Ilor, to spread the word of our high holies to the wild colonies by helping to construct temples there. You’ll serve one month for each pearl you stole from the temple through your deceit. Twenty-five years.”
My breath caught in my chest. It wasn’t a choice. Not really. Either way, I would be forced to spend the rest of my life in service to a pantheon of gods and goddesses I didn’t believe in, couldn’t bear to worship.
I would be no better than a prisoner in Ilor, but I knew deep in my bones that I could never join the Shriven. I could never be like Curlin.
And there was a bright spot of hope in a future in Ilor: the only person who’d never been afraid of me. While I knew I would never see freedom if I accepted the temple’s twenty-five-year sentence—the grief would take me long before those years were up—but at least in Ilor, I would be close to Sawny. I would see him again. Missing Sawny was an ache that went all the way to my bones.
I met the eyes of the three anchorites and took a deep breath, rising to my feet. “Ilor. I choose Ilor.”
I stalked out of the room, visions of space, of time to myself, of freedom crumbling in my mind, leaving my bowl of half-congealed mush uneaten on the long-scarred table—and my hard-earned fortune in the hands of the anchorites.
CHAPTER SIX (#u32bd4549-2432-517d-945f-61a820fc6dc7)
BO
My bedroom was warm from the large fire crackling in the hearth, but I was ice all the way to my bones. I’d been cold since I woke up, probably due to nerves at the thought of what the day would bring. I smoothed my jacket’s embroidered cuffs and stared out the window. I turned sixteen at midnight, and the Queen would declare me a grown man, singleborn of the Trousillion line and successor to her throne. The thought of that heavy crown and the responsibility that came with it nauseated me.
I wanted to be King. I wanted to be a great king, but I’d never felt the easy entitlement the other singleborn flaunted. And after the incident in the park, I’d never felt so unsure of myself, so afraid. I’d spent my whole life preparing for this day, yet still feared that I would trip over some part of the ceremony and embarrass myself—or, worse, my mother.
The soft din of the party drifted through the palace. The fashionable quintet my cousins had hired seemed to play only fast, reeling tunes. My feet ached at the idea of another night spent dancing, but I’d do, as always, what was expected of me, though the stack of books Rylain had sent for my birthday called to me from my bedside table. There was a history of trade dating back to the cataclysm that I ached to dig into.
Outside, in the dark night sky, the two halves of the fractured moon were full, and so close they looked like they might crash into each other. My tutor, Birger, said this interaction of the moon’s halves was a rare and good omen: the reunited twins. He claimed that when the halves of the moon were close, the goddesses and gods forgot the evil our ancestors had done when they split the moon in half. I’d always thought they looked more like twins conspiring in a corner than a pair long lost and reunited, and personally ascribed to the theory that the halves were always the same distance apart—it was our perspective that shifted.
No great wonder Birger was so fascinated by the moons. He and his twin, Thamina, were always whispering in each other’s ears and exchanging those infuriatingly weighted looks twins gave one another. Nothing made me feel more alone than standing in a room full of twins, steeped in the knowledge that I ought to be grateful for the fact that I was singleborn. I knew it was a blessing, but the constant reminders that I’d been born with a greater conscience, a keener sense of justice, a powerful birthright—they had never helped me see those things in myself.
A knock at the door brought me out of my reverie, and Mother swept into the room, not waiting for my response. Rather than her usual well-cut breeches, silk tunic and jacket, She wore a floor-length, lavender-gray gown that sparkled with silver embroidery and accented her olive skin. Her brown hair had been curled, and it brushed the immaculate white fox-fur stole wound round her neck. Huge hunks of raw diamond set in creamy gold cuffs decorated each of her wrists, but her bare arms and sleeveless dress made more of a statement than those jewels. She was the living personification of Dzallie, invincible and immune to the chill of the early summer night.
She narrowed her dark eyes and looked me up and down and adjusted my jacket. “That color suits you, Ambrose. It brings out the gray in your eyes.”
“I thought it was a little garish, but Claes insisted I choose something bright.” I felt like a pigeon dressed in peacock feathers. The purple silk jacket was festooned with scads of embroidery; colorful birds and flowers exploded from my shoulders, trailing down the sleeves and to the wide hem that brushed the floor. At least my trousers were plain—if very fine—gray wool, with embroidery only along the cuffs.
I was waiting for someone to notice how out of place I really was.
“You look so like your father, Ambrose.”
She wasn’t exactly right. I saw him in the line of my jaw and the stubborn set of my mouth, but my eyes were gray where my father’s had been hazel, and I’d grown taller than both my parents by the time I was twelve. Four years later, and I still hadn’t filled out the promise of that early growth. Though my shoulders were broad enough, I was tall and skinny, where the rest of my family was small and muscular.
I coughed, not knowing what to say. I never knew what to say about my father. His absence was like a gaping hole in our lives, and Mother had an uncanny knack for bringing him up at times when feeling the enormous emptiness of his loss would be crippling. I didn’t think she did it on purpose.Even after four years without him, the specter of my father’s death was a constant weight my mother carried. Her grief followed her everywhere, and his memory colored every private moment we shared.
Mother perched on the edge of a gilt-legged settee piled with furs and patted the seat beside her. I sat obediently, careful not to wrinkle my jacket or sit on her skirt. She ran a hand through my newly shorn curls. She used to cut it herself when my father was still alive, as she’d done for him. We’d had the same dark brown curls, unruly and difficult to style. But since his death, she’d left the task to my valet and was ever critical of his work.
“I have something for you.”
I looked at her questioningly. “I thought we were going to wait to open gifts until tomorrow. The spectacle’s half the ceremony, or so Claes and Penelope are always telling me.”
“You’ll get the rest of your gifts tomorrow, but this is between you, your father and me. He and I decided long before his passing.”
She pulled a small cedar box from her skirts and handed it to me. I untied the crimson ribbon. Inside the box, a long, brass key rested on a velvet cushion.
“A key?” I asked, bewildered. There was no door in our house I had any reason to unlock, and the only time I left our estate was in the company of my mother and our ever-present cadre of servants. There was never a need for me to unlock anything at all.
“To your father’s house here in Penby. You’ll need a place to get away from the chaos in the palace as you spend more and more time at court. Your father’s house is perfect for a crown prince. We’ll have to hire a staff to open it, but that shouldn’t be any trouble. I’ll even give you an allowance to redecorate it to your taste. Do you remember it?”
Strange that, after years without thinking of it, the property had come up twice in one week. I hadn’t been there often—since Father’s death, we’d always stayed in the palace when we went to court. Before his passing, I’d only been a child, and rarely visited Penby—children of the nobility were raised in the countryside, where they could breathe clean air and learn genteel sports. But, much to my mother’s dismay, Father had taken me to see the sunships launch when I’d been briefly fascinated by them as a little boy. I’d wanted to become a ship’s captain in the royal navy, to spend my life at sea, exploring the vast swaths of land left unpopulated and destroyed by the cataclysm. I remembered sliding down the banister of the grand, sweeping staircase in the front hall and hiding on the landing long past my bedtime, wrapped in blankets and listening to my parents laugh with their guests.
The reality of what lay ahead of me curdled my stomach. The responsibility of guiding the empire, of working hand in hand with the Suzerain—it was daunting, especially when I felt so very alone. I wished, as I so often had, that I was normal; that I had a twin like everyone else. And seeing the expectation, the eager hunger for my accomplishment and success in my mother’s eyes inflamed me.
The old argument, the one that tangled our every interaction lately, took hold before I could stop myself. “Mother...”
Her jaw tensed. “Don’t start, Ambrose. You are the Queen’s choice. It’s your duty to serve the empire. To become its next King. You will show Queen Runa that you are, without a doubt, the best choice to lead the succession, just as your father or I would have done, had we had the luck to be singleborn.” She tucked the key and its box into an end table drawer.
I bit the inside of my cheek and tried to extinguish the anxiety rising in my chest like a flame. If only I could escape from that word. My whole life, I’d been told I was special because I’d been born alone. Singleborn. The conscience of the empire. Every move I made was lauded, commented upon. My interests became trends. I was deferred to, admired and praised at every turn. But Mother’s eyes never rested on me for a moment without the expectation that I could do more, be better.
As if she could read my thoughts, Mother reached out and cupped my cheek. “You know that I’m proud of you? You know that I love you?”
I sighed. “I know. I know you want the best for me. I love you, too.”
Before the heaviness of the moment could weigh me down more than my anxiety already had, I changed the subject.
“Has there been any more news about what happened in the park?” I asked.
Mother dropped her hand into her lap, exasperated. “There’s no need for you to continue to bring that up,” she said, annoyance sharpening her words. “It was a coincidence. One of the diminished. Honestly, if there were something to tell you, I would. Now, tonight is a momentous occasion, and I want for you to remember it fondly.” She glanced at the clock on the mantel. “We should go down. Your cousins are doing what they can to keep Her Majesty occupied, but Claes may run out of gossip if we don’t relieve him soon.” She laughed, a sound like a burbling spring that did nothing to soothe my frayed nerves. “Worse, Penelope will be in a state trying to keep him from saying something out of turn.”
I grinned, knowing she was right. I offered her my arm. “Best make my entrance, then. Into the den of foxes, as it were.”
Mother swatted at me as we left my room. “Hush, you. You mustn’t make jokes about the other singleborn where someone might hear you.”
“It’s Father’s joke,” I protested.
“I know.” Mother stretched up onto the tips of her toes and kissed me on the cheek. “But those foxes hold your fate in their jaws.”
* * *
Outside the great room, I stared at the enormous, ancient doors. Doors I’d seen so often during our many visits to court, but never truly looked at. I wondered what had crossed the minds of each of the other singleborn chosen to wear the crown, who’d all waited outside this very door on the night of their sixteenth birthdays. It was a sobering thought, and all my jokes and nervous giggles fled my body.
Gunnar, my valet, knocked twice on the carved panel beside the great room door. I took a deep breath, and three bass notes from the horn just inside the great room reverberated through my bones. The musicians went quiet, and an anticipatory hush settled over the crowd inside. Gunnar looked to Mother for her signal. She wound her arm through mine and looked up into my eyes searchingly.
“Ready?” she asked.
I nodded and set my jaw, forcing a slight smile onto my lips. Gunnar heaved against the doors’ polished bone handles. Inside, a uniformed servant took up the Trousillion horn, curling and carved, and blew a long, clear note. Silence hung heavy in the room, and the weight of hundreds of eyes fell upon me all at once. The solar lights were dimmed, and they cast a golden glow over the nobles dressed in their best silks and furs. Their jewels shimmered as they waited for the ceremony to start.
Penelope, Claes and I had spent months shaping the guest list. In addition to the ambassadors from Denor, most elite Ilorian merchants and the highest-ranking members of the nobility, the guest list included a number of my more irritating relatives who had to be invited, despite their tendencies to hoard all of the attention in a room. The three other singleborn of my generation were like that, captivating and dazzling all at once. Even Rylain, despite her hatred of public appearances, was the kind of person who could enchant a crowd with a single word.
I felt drab standing next to them, like a baby puffin before its plumage fills in. I should have been brimming with excitement, but instead I was blinded, unable to move, like a fish frozen in a streambed. My eye landed on a woman draped in austere black wool, her dark brown hair threaded with silver, and a serene look on her unlined face: Rylain. My heart lifted slightly—I hadn’t thought that she would be willing to make the trip to court, even for such a significant event. I was relieved to see her—perhaps her presence would stop Patrise and Lisette from spreading their bizarre notion that she’d had something to do with the shooting in the park.
Patrise lounged on a chaise nearby, flanked by a beautiful, red-haired woman. I wondered if the accusations he’d leveled at Rylain were a thinly veiled attempt to hide his own involvement in the most recent attempt on my life. He’d tried to have me killed more than once, or so Mother claimed. It was a fair concern—if something happened to me, the Queen would likely choose either Patrise or Lisette to succeed her. Patrise’s companion whispered something to him, and he threw back his head and laughed. His hearty guffaw became the only sound in the room, and he turned to grin at me before leaning in to reply to the redhead.
For a moment, everything I’d learned to prepare for this moment disappeared. I started to turn, to flee, but Mother’s elbow dug into my ribs. My eyes darted around frantically, and I finally found Claes standing with his sister. He smiled at me, his face a beacon in the crowd. His grin lit me like a torch, and warmth blossomed in my belly. When I looked at him, it felt like he and I were the only people in the room, and suddenly, I cared about doing this right.
I wanted so badly for him to be proud of me. I wanted to show them all that I deserved to be King.
I blinked and looked away before I could start blushing. Beside him, Penelope looked at me with the impatient urgency that seemed to be the natural set of her face, and my hours of practice flooded back to me. I stepped forward, smiling the solemn smile that my cousins had cajoled me into replicating for hours on end until it was more natural to me than any other expression.
Our guests parted, creating an aisle that led to the dais where Queen Runa waited. Tonight, her cape was black sealskin trimmed with gray fox fur. She wore the Alskad Empire’s ceremonial crown, a hefty circlet of hammered gold studded with raw jewels and pearls. Her hands rested on the Sword of the Empire, a weapon nearly as tall as she, forged in folded steel so keenly sharpened, it could cut a whisper in half. It was a weapon made to shed blood, though the empire’s rulers had expanded their borders by exploration rather than force.
Queen Runa was flanked by the Suzerain. With their pure white robes, pale skin and blond hair, they looked like twin towers of salt. Aside from the Queen, these were the most powerful people in the empire. While the Queen controlled the nobility, and had the final say on all laws written in the noble council, the common people looked to the Suzerain and their ranks of the Shriven for religious justice and protection from the diminished. The Queen never made a decision without considering the opinion of the temple.
Seven of the Shriven, all clad in the purest white, stood like statues against the wall behind the dais, their eyes glittering amid the black paint that bisected their faces. Tattoos crept up their necks and across their knuckles, and one of them bared her teeth, sharpened to spikes, at me. It took everything in my power to keep from grimacing. I wished they’d take their hands off the long knives in their belts, even only for the duration of the ceremony, but I knew it didn’t matter. They were as deadly unarmed as they were if they bristled with weapons.
Wrenching my gaze away from the Shriven, I was grateful for the kind faces of the anchorites, with their brilliant yellow-and-orange silk robes and the ropes of pearls that draped their wrists and necks. They stood before the dais, the emblems of the empire in a chest at their feet. The anchorites showered me in approving nods and warm smiles as I approached them. We stopped before the first step, and I leaned down to kiss Mother on both cheeks. She took her place next to her twin sister, to the right of the anchorites, and I knelt before the Suzerain and the Queen. I inhaled deeply and focused my thoughts on the ceremony at hand.
Together, their solemn voices filled the room, as rich as kaffe and sweet as honey. “Why do you kneel before us, Ambrose, son of Myrella and Oswin, descendent of the Trousillion line?”
I paused, took a breath and let the responses I knew by rote flow. “For I am worthy of the Trousillion crown.”
“By what right are you worthy?”
The words caught in my throat, and I coughed before saying, “By right of birth. I am singleborn, chosen of the goddesses and the gods.”
“Why were the singleborn chosen to rule their lands?”
“When the moon split and the people corrupted the earth, the goddesses and gods chose to split their souls in twain, that the consciences of the people be doubled. They decreed that each person be born with a twin they would love above all others, to whom they would be responsible for all their deeds. The goddesses and gods chose a family from each land, one who had demonstrated great honor, compassion and intellect. The descendants of those families would bear a number of singleborn in each generation, and from those, the next ruler would be chosen.”
Silks rustled as the crowd shifted from one foot to the other. The Queen nodded to my mother, who joined her on the dais. They each took hold of one end of the long Sword of the Empire, hefting it above their heads to form an archway. The female Suzerain, Amler, stepped through the archway, carrying the empire’s golden wheel. The male Suzerain, Castor, followed her, a delicate gold net stretched between his hands. Finally, the Queen nodded to me, and I stepped beneath the sword, ducking to clear my head. I was grateful to kneel once again on the other side and hide my shaking legs.
The Queen handed the sword to my mother and came to stand before me, to perform her role in the ceremony. She faced the crowd. “Do you swear to uphold the honor of the singleborn of the Trousillion line?”
I looked into her deep brown eyes, feeling the enormous magnitude of the vow radiating from the depths of her soul. “I do.”
The weight of the net, surprisingly heavy for all its delicacy, settled over my shoulders like a ballast, and my heart sank. I admonished myself silently—I’d spent my whole life preparing for this, and it would be years yet before I took the throne. The weight of the responsibility need not feel so wildly overwhelming yet.
“Will you guide the people of the empire with your conscience, serving them with justice and grace, putting their needs before your own?”
