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“Elise would never have risked her figure to have a child,” he said coldly. “She even said so.” He grimaced. “We had a hell of a fight after the Christmas I spent here. It disgusted me that she’d go to some party with her friends and not even bother to call to see how I was. She actually said to me the money was nice. It was a pity I came with it.”
“I’m so sorry,” she said with genuine sympathy. “I can’t imagine the sort of woman who’d marry a man for what he had. I couldn’t do that, even if I was dirt poor.”
He looked up into soft, pretty gray eyes. “No,” he agreed. “You’re the sort who’d get down in the mud with your husband and do anything you had to do to help him. Rare, Niki. Like that hothouse orchid pin I gave you for Christmas.”
She smiled. “I wear it all the time. It’s so beautiful.”
“Like you.”
She made a face. “I’m not beautiful.”
“What’s inside you is,” he replied, and he wasn’t kidding.
She flushed a little. “Thanks.”
He drew in a breath and shuddered. “Oh, God...” He shot out of the bed, heading toward the bathroom. He barely made it to the toilet in time. He lost his breakfast and about a fifth of bourbon.
When he finished, his stomach hurt. And there was Niki, with a wet washcloth. She bathed his face, helped him to the sink to wash out his mouth then helped him back to bed.
He couldn’t help remembering his mother, his sweet French mother, who’d sacrificed so much for him, who’d cared for him, loved him. It hurt him to remember her. He’d thought Elise resembled her. But it was this young woman, this angel, who was like her.
“Thanks,” he managed to croak out.
“You’ll be all right,” she said. “But just in case, I’m going downstairs right now to hide all the liquor.”
There was a lilt in her voice. He lifted the wet cloth he’d put over his eyes and peered up through a growing massive headache. She was smiling. It was like the sun coming out.
“Better hide it good,” he teased.
She grinned. “Can I get you anything before I leave?”
“No, honey. I’ll be fine.”
Honey. Her whole body rippled as he said the word. She tried to hide her reaction to it, but she didn’t have the experience for such subterfuge. He saw it, and worried. He couldn’t afford to let her get too attached to him. He was too old for her. Nothing would change that.
She got up, moving toward the door.
“Niki,” he called softly.
She turned.
“Thanks,” he said huskily.
She only smiled, before she went out and closed the door behind her.
* * *
“CAN WE HIDE the rest of the liquor?” she asked her father with a grin.
He chuckled. “He’ll leave it alone now. I imagine his head is two sizes too big, and he’s sick as a dog.”
“He certainly is,” she agreed. Her face hardened. “That horrible woman! If she wanted money, why didn’t she just get a job and make her own living?”
Todd looked at her with pride and affection. “That’s you, Niki. Elise is cut from a different sort of cloth. She wanted to have a life in the fast lane. She charmed Blair into thinking she wanted him.” He shook his head. “I think Christmas was the last straw. He was in bad shape, and she didn’t give a damn and made it obvious. She’ll fight him in court for alimony, of course,” he added harshly. “To the death, I imagine.”
“I imagine it’ll only last until she marries again,” she said. “That might not be long.”
He gave her an odd look. “I seriously doubt she’ll ever remarry.”
“Life goes on,” she said.
“Inevitably.” He kissed her on the forehead. “Happy graduation day, sweetheart,” he said softly. “I’m very proud of you. Sorry it ended in such misery.”
“I’m glad we brought Blair here,” she said. “God knows what he might have done, left alone with too much liquor.” She shivered inside. He must have loved Elise greatly. She said the last aloud to her father.
“He was infatuated with her, certainly. He’s not a playboy. He never was.”
“You’ve known him a long time, haven’t you?”
He nodded. “He’s a good man. Best friend I’ve ever had.”
“He’s been my friend, too,” she pointed out, smiling. “I don’t know what I’d have done if he hadn’t been here that night Harvey brought me home after our date.” She drew in a breath. “I’m still afraid to try dating again, you know.”
“Sweetheart, you can’t carry it around like a burden for the rest of your life,” he pointed out. “You’ll never be happy without a husband and children. You know that.”
She wrapped her arms around herself. “I’m not in good health,” she said slowly. “It...puts men off.”
“It won’t matter to any man who loves you.”
“You think so?” She had her doubts, but she smiled. “I’m going to help Edna in the kitchen.”
“Okay, Tidbit. I think I’ll watch the news.”
“Will you check on Blair, on your way to bed? Just in case?” she added.
He smiled. “Of course.”
She wanted to do that herself. But that look Blair had given her hadn’t been one of encouragement. She found him attractive, and she couldn’t manage to hide it. She knew it was going to cause problems.
CHAPTER THREE (#ulink_f1652492-c260-5cca-baea-bafe29b79608)
BLAIR WAS BARELY able to get out of bed the next day. His head hammered, and he was wobbly on his feet.
“Serves me right, I guess,” he said when Niki brought him hash browns and bacon in bed.
“Don’t say that,” she chided softly. “You were entitled. I’m sorry life is so hard for you right now. But it will get better. Really, it will.”
He looked up at her quietly. “You’re an optimist, Niki. I’m not. I see things from a different perspective. So will you, when you’re older,” he added in a faintly bitter tone.
“For heaven’s sake, I’m going on twenty-two,” she burst out. “I just graduated from college!”
“And there’s a big world out there, just waiting for you,” he said. “New people, new places. New men,” he added deliberately.
She wrapped her arms around her chest. “No.”
He scowled, pausing with hash browns on his fork. “What do you mean, no?” he asked.
She bit her lower lip. “How do I know what men are going to be like when I’m alone with them? I know I haven’t dated much, but that was one heck of a wake-up call, you know. If you hadn’t been there...” Her eyes were tormented, and she shook her head.
“Come here.”
She sat down beside him on the bed.
He took her hand in his and held it. “You have to know, very few men ever resort to force. He’d been drinking pretty heavily.”
“I know. I tried to get him to stop. He said I was backward.” She sighed. “I guess I am. I don’t keep step with people in the modern world. I live in the country, I like wildflowers and little children, I don’t drink or smoke or do drugs...” She made a face. “It’s just a pity I wasn’t born a hundred years ago. I’d have been right at home.”
“There are other people like you in the world,” he said softly. “You’ll find them. You have to take chances, Niki. You have to get out in the world to cope with it. You’re hiding here, honey. You’re running away from life. It’s cowardly. That’s not like you.”
Her face flamed. She got up and moved away from him, like a child burned by contact with fire. How could she tell him that she was in love with him, that she wasn’t hiding from life? She was waiting, hoping, praying that one day...
His heart sank when he saw her face. He’d been too harsh. “Niki, I’m sorry.”
She swallowed, hard. He was like an adult with a small child, and it hurt to be thought of that way. She stood up from the bed. “I have to help Edna clear up in the kitchen.”
She was out the door before he could curse himself for bringing that look into her soft face. He felt guilty for the rest of the day, more so when she didn’t come near his room again.
She kept to herself for the rest of the day. She was polite to Blair at dinner, but he saw right through her.
“You’re very quiet tonight, Niki,” her father said, frowning. “Everything all right?”
She toyed with her food. “Of course. I’m just not very hungry, that’s all.” She added a smile so that her father wouldn’t get suspicious.
Blair sipped black coffee. “I thought I might drive over to Yellowstone tomorrow and see the sights. Want to come, Niki?” he added without looking at her.
She felt her heart trying to climb out of her throat. The invitation was unexpected.
“Go with him,” her father said firmly. “You need to get out of the house for a while. It will do you good. Just be sure to take your inhaler with you,” he added wryly. “Everything’s just starting to bloom. You don’t want another chest infection.”
“Worrywart,” she chided.
“I’ll take care of her,” Blair said quietly.
“I know that.” Her father finished his coffee. “Got a minute?” he asked Blair. “I want to talk to you about that new drilling site I’m going to lease.”
“Sure.” Blair got up and followed him into the study.
Niki helped Edna clear away the dishes.
“You can hide it from your father, but not from me, young lady,” Edna chided when they were putting dishes into the dishwasher. “What’s wrong?”
She moved one shoulder a little. “Blair says I’m hiding from life. From men.” She was, but she couldn’t tell Edna why.
“He’s right,” was the unexpected reply. “You’re letting that one bad date tie you up like a knot. Honey, not all men are going to try to force you. It was an unfortunate thing, what happened.”
“I couldn’t have stopped him,” Niki recalled with disgust. “If Blair hadn’t been here...”
“I know.” Edna stopped and hugged her, smoothing her long, soft hair. “But he was. You can’t go through life looking behind you. The future is bright and sweet, my darling. You have to look ahead.”
Niki sighed and smiled against the older woman’s shoulder. “Dad and I are so lucky to have you,” she said. “I don’t know how either of us would have coped. Especially Dad. He loved my mother so much.”
Edna drew in a long breath. “Yes. He was crazy about her.” She smiled sadly. “I loved my husband that way. When he died, I thought my life was over. Then Mr. Ashton offered me a job, and you were in grammar school...” She swallowed, hard. “You see, I was never able to have a child of my own. It was such a privilege, a blessing, to take care of you.”
Niki drew back, her eyes soft and misty as she met those of the older woman. “You’ve been like a mother to me,” she said. “God knows how I’d have turned out if it had just been me and Dad,” she added with a laugh, lightening the atmosphere. “I guess I’d have learned to play poker and drink whiskey and get in fights with the cowboys.”
Edna chuckled as she let Niki go. “He did a lot of that. Got stinking drunk and stayed that way for a whole month after the funeral. Most of the cowboys learned to hide in the barn until he had enough and passed out. To give them credit, none of them resigned.”
“He’s calmed down a bit,” Niki said.
“Not a lot. He and your friend Blair are cut from the same cloth.” She winced. “Hurts me, to see poor Mr. Coleman like that. His wife was a piece of work.”
“He really loved her,” Niki said. “I remember when they were just engaged. When he talked about her, his face almost glowed, like his eyes.” She glowered as she finished rinsing a plate to go in the dishwasher and handed it to Edna. “Imagine a woman who thought going to some stupid party was more important than taking care of her sick husband.”
“She had her priorities,” Edna said curtly. “Money and other men. What a shame. She’s ruined him for marriage. He’ll never take the chance again.”
“He waited a long time to get married,” Niki said thoughtfully.
“Yes. Your father said he took the loss of his mother particularly hard. He was vulnerable. That’s probably how that she-cat got her claws into him. Playing up to him, pretending to be concerned, vamping him.”
“What’s vamping?” Niki asked curiously.
“Tempting him,” Edna explained. “Most men are weak when a woman uses her body blatantly to tempt them. An experienced woman can make a plaything of a man, if he’s vulnerable.”
“It’s hard to think of Blair Coleman being susceptible like that.”
“He’s a man, honey,” Edna chuckled. “They’re all susceptible.”
“I don’t know much about that.”
“You’ll never learn, staying in this house all the time,” Edna continued. “You have to get out into the world and meet people. Meet men. Honey, you were made for a home and children.”
Niki made a face. She couldn’t tell Edna about her hopeless passion for Blair, so she improvised. “I’m sick all the time. What sort of man wants a woman like that?”
“Your mother was sickly, too,” Edna said. “But your father loved her madly. It made no difference to him, except that he spent a lot of time taking care of her.” She smiled gently. “You love people for what’s inside them. You live with the problems they have. That’s what a good marriage is all about.”
“I’m not sure I’ll ever get married,” Niki said. “I don’t mix well with other people. Especially men.”
“You get along fine with Mr. Coleman,” Edna pointed out.
