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“We sort of leaned on each other,” she confessed. She searched his hard face. “He was afraid you were going to use your experience to take Shelby away from him. He didn’t come right out and say so, but it was implied.”
“As if I could hurt him like that,” he said curtly. His dark eyes wandered quietly over her face, tracing every soft line. “Did you care that I danced with her?”
She turned toward the window. “I like the scenery,” she said, trying to change the subject, trying to breathe normally.
“Yes, I like it, too,” he said finally. “I wanted something with a view of the city. And I have to spend a lot of time here on business, so that makes it a good investment.”
She heard his steps coming closer, and she could feel his warmth at her back, smell the clean, spicy scent of him.
Her pulse jumped as his lean hands caught her waist and pulled her against his big body. She heard his breath and felt it in her hair as he wrapped her up in his arms from behind, rocking her lazily as they watched the city lights spread out below them.
He inhaled the floral scent of her body and the clean, shampooed softness of her hair all at the same time. He bent his head and brushed his mouth against her neck through her silky hair.
“I miss you,” he said softly. “You haunt me.”
“You’ll get used to not having me around,” she said sadly. “After all, up until five and a half years ago, you and Justin had the house all to yourselves.”
“And then you moved in,” he mused, linking his lean hands in front of her. “We got used to running feet and laughter, to music in the living room and movies on television and teenage girls in and out and hot-rodding young men speeding up the driveway.”
“You were both very tolerant for old bachelors,” she said. “Looking back, I guess I really cramped your style.”
He stiffened a little, because it was true. She had at first. But now it hurt to look back, to remember his furtive affairs, his hidden amours. It hurt to think that there’d ever been a woman in his arms except Abby.
“A woman in the dark is just a body,” he said softly. “And I never gave my heart, Abby.”
“Do you have one?” she asked.
He turned her gently, putting her hand on his chest, over his white silk shirt, against hard, warm muscle and thick hair. “Feel it beat,” he whispered.
“That isn’t what I meant.”
“I know.” He looked down at her hand, feeling his body tauten at the light touch. He moved her fingers across his chest to a hard male nipple and held her palm there, letting her feel.
She glanced up at him, her blue-gray eyes wide and searching as he stroked her hand against the hardness.
“That happens to women,” she whispered.
“And to men.” He gently pulled her closer, his hands moving into her hair as he bent his head. “Unbutton my shirt. I’m going to show you how to touch me.”
Her heartbeat sounded and felt unnaturally loud in the stillness of the room. But she didn’t protest. Her fingers fumbled with the buttons, and eventually she had the shirt out of his slacks and away from his broad, bronzed chest with its thick covering of hair.
He smiled at her faint embarrassment. “Here. Like this.” He pulled her hands against him in long, sensual strokes and watched their slender gracefulness as he drew them down to the wide belt around his slender hips. But when he tried to move them past it, she froze.
He searched her soft eyes quietly, sensing the turmoil in her heart. “You’re very innocent,” he said, his voice unusually deep and slow. “You’ve never touched a man intimately, have you?”
She traced a tiny pattern on his chest. “I’ve never done anything intimate with a man in my life, except with you.”
He was incredibly pleased to hear that. His chin lifted. “I need more than a few chaste kisses,” he said softly.
She flushed, staring at the heavy rise and fall of his chest. “I’m sorry.”
He bent abruptly and lifted her, cradling her against him as he turned and walked down the hall with her.
He went through an open door, and she turned her head to find a huge king-size bed with a cream-and-chocolate quilted cover over it in a darkened room.
“Calhoun, no,” she whispered, raising her eyes to his in the dimness of the heavily curtained room.
“I won’t even undress you,” he breathed, brushing her lips with his. “We’re going to make a little love, and then I’ll take you home. There won’t be a risk. I give you my word on it.”
“But you want me,” she whispered in protest when he slid her onto the coverlet and stretched out beside her, his body so close that she could feel how aroused he was.
“Of course I want you,” he said gently, smiling as he lay poised above her, his lean hands smoothing back her long, soft hair. “But there’s no risk involved, as long as you don’t do anything to knock me off balance.”
She searched his dark face, loving every inch of it. “How could I do that?” she whispered.
“By doing anything I don’t invite,” he murmured deeply. “Don’t touch me, or move against me, or kiss me unless I tell you how.” He moved down then, drawing his open mouth lazily over her lips until he managed to get between them. “That’s it,” he whispered. “Just relax.”
He was doing the most sensuous things to her mouth. It amazed her, the sensations he aroused so effortlessly. Her breath was already coming in gasps, and she felt her body tautening as what he did to her mouth began to affect the entire length of her.
“God, you’re sweet to kiss,” he whispered into her parted lips. “Come here, Abby.”
He abruptly rolled over onto his back and turned her with him so that she was above him, looking down into his dark, dancing eyes.
“That’s better,” he murmured. “Do you feel less threatened on top?”
She colored faintly, and he laughed. Then he drew her mouth down over his and opened it, and the laughter stopped.
She felt his hands moving her, lifting her. She was beside him, then over him, and he had her hips, bringing them down completely over his.
“Don’t do that,” he whispered when he felt her tautness. “Just lie still and let me feel your body over mine.”
She felt shaky. She trembled as his tongue began to probe gently around her lips and past them, teasing its way into the sweet darkness of her mouth.
She caught her breath, and he heard it. His dark eyes opened, looking up at her.
“They call it a soul kiss,” he said softly. “It’s intimate and wildly arousing and very, very suggestive. Let me kiss you that way.”
She felt her legs tremble where they touched his. “You…you’re already wildly aroused,” she whispered unsteadily.
“I’m going to make you that way, too,” he murmured. He turned her slowly so that she was on her back. His long, powerful leg insinuated itself between hers.
She stiffened as she felt his big, muscular body spread over hers, pushing her down into the mattress. His masculinity was blatant now. The intimacy was shocking, and the sensations it caused were a little frightening.
He saw her fear, and his hands slid into her hair, caressing as he let his weight down on her slender body, his elbows catching a little of it as he moved.
“I won’t hurt you,” he said softly. “Lie very still for me, Abby. I want to show you what passion is.”
“I already know…oh!” She clenched her teeth. Her nails bit into the fine fabric of his jacket, and her eyes widened in shock when he moved against her. She felt him in a way that turned her face blood red with embarrassed knowledge, and a tiny cry forced its way out of her throat.
His mouth covered hers. His tongue teased, probed, withdrew, probed again and began a taunting invasion that was every bit as intimate as his huge, softly moving body on hers. She moaned. She grasped him. She bit at his firm, chiseled lower lip. Her tongue shyly grasped him. She bit at his firm, chiseled lower lip. Her tongue shyly encountered his and began to fence with it. She began to shudder, and so did he, and just when she was going under for the third time he slid away from her and gathered her against his side, holding her cheek to his shoulder while the trembling grew.
“Calhoun.” Her voice broke.
“It’s all right,” he whispered. “I’ll make it bearable.”
His big hands found her jacket and eased it off. He unfastened the sweater where it buttoned over one shoulder, and levered it up lazily, unfastening the hooks of her lacy bra and tugging the whole of her upper covering over her head and moved it aside.
She started to cover herself, but his mouth was suddenly on her breasts, and what he did to them was too sweet, too addictive to protest.
She gave in, arching toward his mouth, drowning in his ardor. He knew exactly what to do, how to arouse her to a fever pitch. She let him, welcomed him, her body fluid in his hands, her voice softly inciting him.
He sat up for just a minute, long enough to strip off his jacket and shirt. Then he was poised over her, vibrantly male with his hair-roughened chest bare and muscular, his eyes glittering with desire as they caressed her own bareness.
“I can’t stop you,” she whispered shakily, tears stinging her eyes as she watched him come to her. “I don’t want to stop you.”
“I want to hold you like this,” he whispered, levering his chest over her bare, aroused breasts, rubbing softly against her body. “Isn’t it sweet, Abby? Skin against skin. Breast to breast in the darkness, mouth to aching mouth…Kiss me, sweetheart. Open your mouth and kiss me until you can’t bear the wanting any longer.”
She did. Her arms held him, trembling, her body welcomed the crush of his. The mattress moved under them and the air washed over her body while his mouth fed on hers, seduced hers, intimate and ardent and tender.
His mouth lifted seconds later, and he looked into her eyes in the faint light from the hall. “I don’t think I can stop,” he whispered, his voice oddly husky.
“I don’t want you to stop,” she moaned. “Oh, Calhoun, please, please…please!”
His mouth slid down to her breast, taking it inside. His hand went to the fastening of her skirt and loosened it. His lean fingers slid onto the soft skin of her belly, pressing there, savoring the soft skin.
“The…risk,” she whispered shakily.
“Of a child?” he murmured against her breasts. He nuzzled her soft skin with his cheek, his eyes closed, the scent of her all around him, in his blood. His hand slid under her hips, lifting them hungrily into the hard contours of his own, holding her there with undisguised passion. “For the first time in my life, I’m not afraid of the consequences, Abby.”
His mouth was over hers again, and she wasn’t quite sure she’d heard him. Her mind was on fire, her body was burning. Her legs moved helplessly against his. She wanted him. She wanted all of him. She moaned as she tried to get closer, to absorb him, possess him. She felt savage and wild. She wanted to join with him, to be a part of the massive, muscular body that was slowly driving her mad.
Her arms reached up, her fingers tangled in his thick blond hair as she moved her hips sensually under his in movements that made him cry out.
“Abby—!” he bit off, shuddering.
“I love you,” she sobbed.
His mouth was over hers, and he began to remove her skirt with unsteady hands. It was going to happen. Here, now, she was going to know him in every way there was.
But in the middle of her feverish pleas, there was the sudden, unexpected pealing of the doorbell.
He paused, his body racked by shudders. “Oh, my God,” he said, choking.
“Don’t answer it,” she whispered tearfully.
He lifted his head, pushing back sweaty hair. He was gasping for breath, his body vibrating with frustrated need, driving urgency. He shuddered. “I can’t get up,” he whispered with a hollow laugh. He pushed away from her and lay on his stomach, groaning, his lean hands speared into the pillow, crushing it.
Abby didn’t know what to do. She knew better than to touch him. She lay there, not moving, sanity coming back slowly. She concentrated on trying to breathe while her heartbeat shook her.
The doorbell kept ringing. After a moment, Calhoun managed to sit up. He looked a little foggy as he got to his feet, but he was breathing almost normally.
“Are you all right?” she whispered shyly.
“I’m all right,” he said softly. “Are you?”
At least he wasn’t angry. “Yes,” she replied, her tone equally soft.
He took a steadying breath and got to the door. Unexpectedly he switched on the light and turned to look at her, his eyes narrow, full of possession and something violent, dark, hungry.
Her breasts were mauve and peach, exquisitely formed, taut with arousal. Where he’d pulled her skirt down, he could see the graceful curve of her hips below her small waist.
“God, I could die looking at you,” he said huskily. “I’ve never seen a woman so perfect.”
She flushed, but the intensity of his delight in her was overwhelming. She sat up slowly, watching his gaze move to the firm thrust of her breasts, and she felt herself go hot with pride and pleasure.
He looked up then, catching the light in her eyes. “You belong to me now,” he said. “As surely as if I hadn’t stopped. We’ll work out the details later, but there won’t be anyone else for me from this night on. I’ll never touch another woman until I die.” And with that quiet, terse statement, he turned and left the room.
Abby wasn’t sure she hadn’t dreamed the whole thing. She got into her clothes in a daze, shaking with pent-up emotion. She wanted to cry and scream and laugh and dance.
He was talking to someone. His voice was curt and almost angry. Frowning, Abby stepped out into the hall, her mouth swollen, her hair in tangles, her silk skirt hopelessly wrinkled. As she went into the living room, she recognized Calhoun’s guest. It was the blonde from the restaurant, the one he’d taken out the night Abby had gone to dinner with Justin.
“So that’s why you didn’t have time for me,” the older woman said when she saw Abby. “My God, she’s barely out of school!”
“Abby, go back into the bedroom,” Calhoun said.
“Yes, Abby, go and hide,” the blonde added viciously, although tears were visible in her big eyes.
But Abby didn’t. She went quietly to Calhoun and slid her hand trustingly into his.
“I love him with all my heart,” Abby told the other woman. “I guess you probably do, too, and I’m sorry. But I’d rather die than lose him.”
The blonde looked at her for a long moment, and then at Calhoun. “It would have served you right if she hated you, as many hearts as you’ve broken,” she cried, her lower lip trembling. “But that won’t ever happen, any more than you’ll ever love any one of us. Not even she can reach that stone you call a heart!” She turned to Abby. “You’ll never have all of him.” She laughed bitterly. “All he can give you is his body, and he’ll soon get tired of yours and go off to conquer new worlds. Men like him don’t settle down, honey, so if you’re looking for happy endings, you’d better run like hell.”
She gave Calhoun a final, bitter glance and was gone as quickly as she’d arrived.
Calhoun closed the door, his face hard, unyielding.
“I’m sorry you had to hear that,” he said quietly.
“So am I.” Abby searched his eyes sadly, wondering if the other woman was right about his lack of feeling. Perhaps she should run. But how could she, when she loved him?
His eyes narrowed as he saw the indecision and fear in hers. “You don’t trust me, do you?” he asked. “You think she might be right, that you can’t have a future with me.”
“You said yourself that you didn’t want to be tied,” she replied. “I understand.” She dropped her eyes. “Maybe I’m too young for marriage anyway. I’ve never been out on my own at all. I’ve hardly even dated. Maybe what I feel for you is just a crush and my first taste of desire.”
She didn’t really mean what she’d just told him, but it gave him an out if he wanted one. He’d wanted her in the bedroom, and perhaps he’d said things he didn’t really mean. She didn’t want him to feel obligated just because they’d almost gone too far.
But Calhoun didn’t realize that she was trying to save him from himself. He took her words at face value and felt their impact as if they were bullets. She was telling him that she wasn’t sure she loved him, and at the worst possible moment. When she’d put her slender hand so trustingly in his, he’d known for the first time what he felt for her. His feelings went deeper than lust, and they wouldn’t fade. But now he was afraid to tell her, to put the emotion into words. She was admitting that she might have mistaken infatuation and desire for something lasting. She was young, all right, and inexperienced. He might be taking advantage of a natural step in her progression to womanhood. What if he risked his heart and she kicked it aside when she got through this phase? She was young, and she’d bounce back. But Calhoun had never loved before, and the thought of being rejected terrified him.
