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Brianna grimaced. She might consider having a special guy if he were anything like Marnie’s brother. “We’re talking about your life, Marnie,” she said evasively. “Not mine.”
“But it’s true, isn’t it? No boyfriend?”
Bree assumed her quasi-professional voice. “That’s how I like it, Marnie. No man complicating my life.”
“Smart lady!” Marnie’s blue eyes darkened. She resolutely mopped back her hair with one hand. “If I’d had that attitude, I wouldn’t be in this mess now.”
“About your brother,” said Bree. Tell me everything, she wanted to say, but resisted the impulse. “You don’t want him to find out you’re pregnant. But you can’t just disappear without raising suspicions. Won’t your parents be looking for you?”
“No. Never in a million years.”
“How can you be so sure?”
Marnie flashed a sly smile. “I got it all arranged.”
“Arranged?”
For a moment Marnie looked as if she couldn’t quite decide whether or not to confide in Brianna. Finally she said, “Here’s the scoop. My girlfriend from school got a scholarship to study in Europe this summer. I told my parents I got a scholarship, too. Said I was going with her.”
“To Europe?”
“Yeah. You should have seen how happy they were, thinking I got this humongous scholarship worth thousands of dollars. Thinking I was going off to study in Europe. What a hoot! That’s the picture they have of me—the daughter they want. Not some stupid girl who gets knocked up by her first boyfriend.”
“Your family really thinks you’re in Europe studying?”
“Yeah. Would you believe? I even wrote postcards for my friend to mail from Europe. Me raving to my mom and dad about what an awesome time I’m having in Paris. And all the while I’m right here, a half-hour away, in some minister’s house…a charity case, waiting to have a baby.”
“You’re no charity case. You’ll be earning your keep.”
“For sure? How?”
“I told you. Doing secretarial work for my dad.”
“I figured you just said that so I wouldn’t feel so bad about sponging off your family.”
“No, my father can really use your help. You can type letters…you did say you can type, right?”
Marnie nodded. “Yeah, that’s one thing I’m good at.”
“And maybe help him with some research on his sermons.”
“Sermons?” Marnie’s eyes widened. “Listen, girl, I’m not one of those religious types. I mean, my family went to church now and then, but it was more for show, you know?”
“Marnie, I’m not asking if you—”
“Okay, so my brother’s into this church thing. He goes to a church my parents totally disapprove of. What a hoot, huh? I went with him once. They meet in a school. No piano or choir. Just a ragtag band. Guitars and drums. Doesn’t matter what you wear—jeans, tees, sandals. No one cares if you’re rich or poor.”
Bree finished her cola. “So tell me. Did you enjoy going?”
“Yeah, I did. Weird, huh? The people were kinda nice—down to earth, you know?” Marnie poked at her last strands of spaghetti. “Eric wanted me to keep going, but I was with Sam at the time, and Sam wanted no part of church.”
Bree met her gaze. “The truth is, Marnie, while you’re living here, my dad expects you to attend church with us.”
She shrugged. “I can handle it. Your dad’s the preacher, right? If he’s as cool as you say, it shouldn’t be so bad.”
“You might even like it. My dad has a way of telling the truth so you want to hear more.”
Marnie glanced around, as if expecting someone to appear suddenly. “Maybe I should get my stuff upstairs before your family gets home.”
“No hurry,” said Bree. “My dad’s at the church, Frannie’s teaching an art class at San Diego State, and Ruggs, our dog, who rules the house, is in the backyard, probably burying his favorite bones in the flower garden.”
Marnie laughed lightly. “I love dogs. But my parents wouldn’t let me have one. Said an animal would mess up their house. But if I had my own place, I’d have a dozen dogs running around. And maybe a couple of cats, too.”
Now it was Bree’s turn to laugh. “Sounds like a regular menagerie. How about a bird? And monkeys are fun.”
Marnie stifled a chuckle. Her eyes were merry again, her cheeks ruddy. “Guess I’d need a farm, huh? Cows, horses, pigs, sheep. Nice little place far from California, where the land goes on forever and the stars are so bright they wink at you.”
“Sounds marvelous,” said Bree, “if that’s the kind of life you’re looking for.”
Marnie twisted another strand of hair. “I don’t know what I’m looking for.”
“You must have some plans…dreams…”
“Nothing. Except get through the summer and have my baby.”
“What then?” asked Bree. “Will you take your baby home?”
Marnie looked up reproachfully, her eyes welling with tears. “I can’t. My family can never know. My baby…I’m giving her up. I gotta find a good family to adopt her.” Marnie sat forward, her elbows on the table, her voice filled with sudden urgency. “You’ve gotta help me find a good home for my baby. A family to love her and accept her as she is, not make her feel she can never be good enough. Will you help me?”
Brianna reached across the table and clasped Marnie’s hands. “I’ll do what I can. But maybe you’ll change your mind and decide to keep your baby.”
Marnie’s eyes hardened to an icy blue. “No, I can’t keep her. I’ve got to pretend she never existed. I’ve got to go home at the end of the summer and go back to school and act like nothing ever happened. I’ve got to get my education and pray someday I can make my parents proud of me.”
“You’re asking a lot of yourself, Marnie. Are you sure about your parents? Maybe once they got used to the idea, they’d welcome a baby into the family.”
Marnie pushed back her plate. “Not my parents! They don’t want me…and they sure don’t want my baby.”
“Okay, forget I mentioned it.” Bree stood up and took the plates and glasses over to the sink. “If you’re ready, Marnie, I’ll show you to your room.”
Marnie hoisted herself from the chair and suddenly clutched her abdomen. “Oh, wow!”
Brianna pivoted. “What is it? What’s wrong?”
“The baby.” Marnie moved her hand slowly over her rounded belly. “Man, she’s kicking like mad. Feel, Brianna.”
Gently Marnie placed Brianna’s hand on the spot where the baby was moving. Sure enough, Bree could feel the fluttering kicks against her palm. Rhythmic little thumps. The sensation was amazing…as if this tiny, unseen child were reaching out to her, trying to make contact, entreating her for help.
Don’t worry, little one, Bree promised silently. I’m going to take care of you and your mommy. I’ll make sure you have a wonderful family to love you…if it’s the last thing I do!
Chapter Three
Andrew Rowlands hadn’t been on a real date in months. And this wasn’t really a date, either, he reminded himself. On this balmy August evening he and Juliana Pagliarulo were having dinner together at a little Italian bistro in Del Mar. Nothing to it. Longtime friends simply having a pleasant evening together.
Then why was his heart pounding now with excitement as he gazed across the table at her? Why were his palms perspiring? Why did he feel like a teenage boy out on his first date? It wasn’t as if he and Juliana hadn’t had plenty of dinners together before. Hey, they were practically related, now that her son was married to his daughter. Andrew had even kissed Juliana in the moonlight a time or two. They had talked about having a future together, and then they had decided…he had decided…that they should just be friends—no entanglements, no commitments, no romance. Just friends.
The only problem was that since he had made that decision, he couldn’t get Juliana out of his head.
Couldn’t stop remembering those kisses. Couldn’t stop yearning for more.
For six long years he had managed to remain faithful to Mandy, to her memory. He had convinced himself there would never be another woman in his life. He had had the perfect marriage. Okay, not perfect, but as close as two flawed human beings could get. Even after Mandy’s death he had still felt a connection with her. He had done an amazing job of keeping her alive in his head, in his heart. His love for her had never dimmed.
But lately, his emotions were betraying him. He couldn’t summon memories of Mandy the way he used to, couldn’t visualize her face, her eyes, her smile. It was as if she were slowly, inevitably retreating from him, quietly vanishing into the shadows. How could that be? How could he be losing her again?
Whatever it took, he couldn’t let that happen. He couldn’t stand to lose Mandy twice in one lifetime. Hadn’t he already grieved enough? Hadn’t he remained stalwart and unshakable in the face of grief? It had taken more strength than he had imagined to reconcile himself to living with mere memories, but he had done it. Had become surprisingly comfortable, in fact.
But now everything was changing. A wellspring of long-suppressed emotions was erupting in his soul, mushrooming up, supplanting his placid memories of Mandy, replacing them with confusing feelings, unexpected yearnings, unsettling desires. And they all focused on one woman—the lovely, loquacious Juliana Pagliarulo.
“Andrew? Andrew, are you still here?”
Startled, he gazed over the flickering candles at Juliana. She was wearing a stylish, red, belted sheath that accentuated her hourglass figure, and her raven-black hair was swept up in an elegant twist. The candlelight danced in her dark, sultry eyes and gave her bronze complexion a breathtaking radiance.
He cleared his throat, trying to compose himself. “I’m sorry, Juliana. What did you say?”
She leaned forward, a smile teasing her red lips. “I said, here I am having dinner with a very handsome man, and he’s a million miles away. Am I losing my touch?”
He grinned, red-faced. “No, not at all. My mind wandered for a moment. I apologize.”
“Dare I ask where it wandered?”
He flinched. He didn’t want Juliana thinking he was still mooning over his dead wife after all these years, especially when he was on a date with her.
Before he could respond, she murmured gently, “Is it Mandy?”
He lowered his gaze. This lady could read him like a book. “Foolish of me, isn’t it? How can I be thinking about the past when the present company is so delightfully enchanting?”
Her smile widened, a slow, mysterious Mona Lisa smile. “How can I take offense when you say such endearing things?”
Their repartee was interrupted when the waitress brought their Caesar salads. Andrew reached across the table for Juliana’s hand and held it as he bowed his head and asked a blessing on the food. They ate in silence for a moment; then, making conversation, Andrew asked, “So how are the newlyweds doing?”
Juliana blotted her lips with her linen napkin. “Oh, Andrew, they are so in love. You should see them together. They have eyes only for each other.”
Andrew nodded, beaming. “I’m glad they’re happy.” He didn’t want to admit it to Juliana, but he had been a little concerned about his daughter moving into the Pagliarulo estate and beginning her marriage with her mother-in-law and sister-in-law already in residence. With two other women there, Cassie could hardly be the woman of the house. Cautiously he ventured, “How is it working out with all of you under one roof?”
Juliana waved her hand gracefully in the air. “Oh, there is no trouble. We all get along very well. Sometimes I cook, sometimes Cassie cooks, sometimes we cook together. But if you ask me, I think she is just as happy when I take charge.”
“Cassie never was one to cultivate her culinary skills. She was always glad Frannie did the cooking in our house.”
“Well, she and Antonio live such busy lives, I don’t mind taking care of the household chores.”
“Just the same,” warned Andrew, “don’t let her take advantage of your kindness. One of these days she has to learn what being a homemaker is all about.”
“Oh, I’m sure she will learn in time. But for now my son and your daughter feel as if they are still on their honeymoon.”
Andrew finished his salad and set down his fork. “How is your daughter adjusting to the new living arrangements?”
“Belina is very happy to have Cassie living with us now. The two have become good friends. Now that Belina is out of her wheelchair and walking again, she spends little time in her room. She’s discovering a whole new world outside the walls of our home. Cassie and Belina go shopping and take walks together. Cassie has even convinced Belina to enroll at the university.”
“Really? I’m amazed.”
“So was I. It’s hard to believe my daughter who refused to leave her room a year ago is taking classes and meeting people.”
“I know how much that means to you,” said Andrew. “And I’m glad Cassie could have a part in helping her.”
“A very large part, Andrew. I am so grateful to her.”
They paused as the waitress brought Juliana’s manicotti and his veal parmigiana and replenished their basket of garlic bread.
Juliana helped herself to the bread and broke off a crust. “Andrew, the doctors have set a date for Belina’s surgery.”
“Surgery?”
“The side of her face where she was burned in the accident…they have a new technique to remove scar tissue and replace it with skin from another part of her body. So, if all goes well, she will no longer have to live with her disfigurement.”
“Wonderful,” said Andrew. He had liked Belina from the first time they met; he had seen her potential and felt her pain over her scars and physical handicap. Now she was walking again and soon would be as beautiful outside as she was inside.
“Will you come with me to the hospital?” asked Juliana softly. “When Belina goes to surgery?”
Andrew reached across the table for Juliana’s hand and squeezed it firmly. “Of course I will. You know I’ll be there.”
Tears welled in Juliana’s eyes, but she smiled brightly in spite of them. “I had hoped that’s what you would say.”
He sat forward with a confidential air, as if he were about to impart a secret. “You know, Juliana, that I will be there for you whenever you need me. Just say the word.” He felt a sudden impulse to say more, to confess how much he cared for her, how much he needed her, how he was wrong to let their blossoming relationship slip away, but he caught himself and nearly bit his lower lip to keep the words back. Juliana had enough to deal with, without him getting unduly sentimental and burdening her with impossible expectations.
How could he suggest they resume a romantic relationship when it couldn’t possibly lead anywhere? It wasn’t as if they were two lovesick teenagers who could run off and get married and forge a single destiny for themselves. He and Juliana had lived very different lives; they both had obligations, responsibilities that neither could ask the other to surrender. They each had a well-established household to run. Juliana had her daughter to care for, and Andrew had two of his still at home.
He couldn’t imagine asking Juliana to give up her glamorous, independent life in her fancy Del Mar estate to marry him and move into his comfortable but admittedly provincial home. And the idea of the feisty, flamboyant Juliana Pagliarulo performing the humble duties of a minister’s wife was preposterous, prompting him to laugh aloud.
“What’s so funny, Andrew?” asked Juliana with a quizzical smile on her lovely face.
He cleared his throat self-consciously. “Funny?”
“You just laughed, as if someone had told you a joke. What were you thinking about?”
He rubbed his jaw awkwardly, his face warming with embarrassment. Juliana had caught him. There was no way he could tell her the truth—I was laughing at the idea of you being a minister’s wife—and no way he could lie. All he could do was stall or divert the conversation. “How is your manicotti?” he enquired.
She smiled knowingly. “Delicious. But you are avoiding my question. Why did you laugh suddenly?”
He shook his head. “It was nothing…a silly thought. Okay, you asked for it. The truth is, I was thinking about us…how different we are.”
