Closer Than You Think

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I replied, the smile staying firmly in place.

No, a takeaway would be lovely.

His reply was instant.

Perfect. I’ll be leaving the site in a few hours, then another few to get home (if the traffic gods are kind).

Don’t rush, I’m not going anywhere.

Watching my screen, I saw the three dots telling me he was messaging back. It seemed to last a lifetime. Eventually he responded.

I hope not.

Regardless of the fact I was older and wiser and more battle-scarred than a teenager, I couldn’t help, for a moment, feeling like one. My heart fluttered.

Geoff walked from the bathroom back into his room as Mum came into the kitchen. I turned my back, busying myself with the tea. I hoped she didn’t see my cheeks had flushed. When I turned to face her she smiled, still groggy from sleep. She was wrapped in her dressing gown, which was frighteningly similar to mine. Was she young-looking, or was I dressing myself as an older lady? I wasn’t sure. She kissed me on the cheek, sat at the kitchen table and asked me what my plans were for the day, expecting the answer to be as it was most days: ‘Oh nothing, I’m just going to potter around.’ When I sat opposite her and flippantly said Paul was coming over for a takeaway, she couldn’t hide the mischievous glint in her eyes.

‘Oh.’

‘Mum! I know what that smile means, don’t be so crude!’

Geoff walked into the kitchen scratching his stomach and yawning, like an old bear waking after a winter’s sleep. He noticed I was blushing. It didn’t shock me; Geoff was one to notice the small things.

‘You two all right?’ he asked.

‘Oh, more than all right, I’d say,’ Mum replied, her tone playful and teasing.

‘Oh yeah?’

‘Claire is on a promise.’

‘I’m not on a promise, Mum! Who even says that anymore? Paul’s just coming around for a bite to eat.’

‘Yeah, Geoff did the same thing nearly twenty years ago.’

‘She’s not been able to get rid of me since,’ he said, laughing and squeezing Mum’s shoulder with his wide calloused hand before sitting at the table beside her.

‘You two are hopeless,’ I said, smiling at them before getting up to grab the mugs.

‘So, what time is he coming over?’ Geoff continued, blowing on his tea.

‘I don’t know, later?’

‘Want us to pop out and get a bottle of wine or something?’

‘No, I’ll go,’ I said, and both Mum and Geoff looked at me a little too quickly.

‘Claire, shall I come with you?’ Mum asked delicately.

‘I’ll be fine.’

‘Are you sure?’

‘Yeah, I want to go for myself.’

‘Good for you!’ Geoff replied, a little too eagerly.

It wasn’t every day I had something to look forward to. It wasn’t every day I even needed to get dressed. Paul coming back and wanting to see me filled me with an unexpected sense of purpose. I needed to do something before seeing him. I decided I wanted to be out in the world, to get us a bottle of wine and something for dessert; I wanted to be the one to do it.

I had to prepare myself first.