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“Now, what can we work out about his visitation?” Jared asked.
She glanced at him. “What about if you get him Saturdays and Sundays and we alternate holidays,” she finally suggested, hating the thought of losing Ethan on weekends. “Though I don’t know how he can play on the soccer team or basketball or baseball or anything else if he goes out of state with you,” she added.
“Of course I don’t want to destroy Ethan getting to play soccer or any other sport. But he’s surely not into all those yet.”
“No, but he will be soon. He played soccer and T-ball this year.”
“You can give me schedules and we’ll work it out so he can play. But Saturdays and Sundays and alternate holidays won’t be enough time. That’s not sharing him equally.”
His words were quiet but held that same note of steel. She looked away again, thinking about how she could divide Ethan’s time to Jared’s satisfaction. “I don’t know. You move your headquarters to Santa Fe,” she suggested. “Then we can work this out much more easily.”
“I can’t do that,” he answered patiently. “It isn’t the air hub that Dallas is, or the oil center. Dallas is far more accessible. If either of us is going to move, it would be less of a hassle for you to move. Fort Worth is filled with museums and Dallas and Fort Worth both have art galleries. You could work in either place and be close at hand.”
She laced her fingers together and thought about her peaceful life in Santa Fe that had been simple in so many ways, and about how Jared was going to demolish all of it.
“Move to Dallas, live in a big city with all the traffic and hassle.”
“There are quiet housing sections, both inner-city and suburban, old and new, with their own shopping areas and galleries. I can look into the best locations, Megan. I can buy the house you want or build it for you,” he offered.
She closed her eyes and shook her head, tempted to cry out that she didn’t want his money or support or interference.
“I don’t know, Jared,” she replied finally. “Leaving Santa Fe and all I’ve established and have there seems monumental. What about Ethan’s friends?”
“Megan, he’s six years old,” Jared reminded her gently. “He’ll adjust to anything you do.”
Agitated, she stood and walked away from him, gazing at the flaming torches on the beach that shed bright circles of light on the white sand. She could see the tiny whitecaps washing on the shore’s edge, the vast dark ocean beyond. Could she bear to move? If she didn’t, she would have to pack Ethan up and send him off a great distance, whenever Jared saw his son.
If only she had sold Jared the ranch—what a bad decision she’d made!
Jared turned her to him. “If you move to Texas, it’ll be much easier for us to share him. You know that. And there’s no way I can move my headquarters and all my people to Santa Fe. Be realistic.”
“Realistic! Give him up and tear my heart out is what you mean!”
“No, it’s not,” Jared replied firmly in a quiet, patient voice. “I keep telling you to share him with me. Megan, I want what’s good for him, too. You act as if you’re sending him to some terrible fate.”
“I know,” she admitted. “I know you want what’s good and you want to get to know him, but moving to Dallas is an idea I have to adjust to.”
“That’s the most workable solution. He could still participate in all the activities and you and I’d both be there to see him.”
“What happens to him if you marry someone?” Megan asked. “She’ll want to have her own children with you. She’ll never love him like a mother.”
“I’m not marrying anyone. That’s not remotely on the horizon. Unless it’s you.”
“No. I’m not marrying without love. You’d be getting Ethan and convenient sex and I’d get my emotions too tangled up in a relationship.”
“Look, just take life as it is now. Let’s not take on additional problems.
“Stop fighting me, Megan. I can see it in your expression.” His hands squeezed her shoulders lightly, kneading and massaging. “You’re as tense as a spring that’s wound tightly.”
“There’s no way this is something I can take lightly,” she insisted. “Would a month in the summer work and maybe a week in the winter?”
“Not at all. Equal division. That’s what I want,” he replied and she took a deep breath, her mind running over possibilities and rejecting them as quickly as she thought of them.
“Let me consider it, Jared,” she said, twisting away from him and walking farther out onto the veranda. She stared out at the ocean and the silvery moon reflected in it while she pondered.
Jared’s hands closed on her arms. “Megan, you’re making this so damned difficult,” he whispered, leaning near to trace kisses across her neck.
She turned to protest and looked up into his eyes. “No,” she whispered.
“You don’t mean it,” he answered and leaned forward to silence any further protests with a kiss.
They died the minute his mouth covered hers. In spite of her intentions, all she could think was she wanted to make love once more with him.
She wound her arms around his neck and stood on tiptoe and kissed him fervently. With a groan, his arm tightened around her waist and he shifted to stroke her back, twisting free the few buttons.
“Meg, darlin’, you’ll never know how I want you,” he whispered, pausing to frame her face with his hands and look at her. “With all my being,” he whispered and kissed her again.
Faint tugs at her back made her realize he was unfastening her top. He peeled it away and leaned back to pull it free and drop it. He unclasped her bra, taking it off, and then he cupped her breast and rubbed his thumb lightly over her nipple.
Desire was a storm, as impossible to refuse. He was enticement, forbidden dreams, a danger to her peace. But he’d already destroyed that. Her hips rubbed against him in invitation. Her kiss caused his groan. There was no stopping or going back. She was as helpless as a leaf carried on a rushing current.
His fingers touched her waist, and in seconds her skirt fell around her ankles. She stepped out of it and her shoes as he leaned back to look at her, his leisurely gaze made her tingle. Eagerly, she tugged off his shirt and unfastened his belt and slacks to let them fall. As soon as he’d kicked them off along with shoes, she peeled away his briefs to free him. He knelt to pull a packet from his trousers and then he picked her up.
“Jared, this is a dream,” she whispered, more to herself than him.
“It’s a dream come true, Meg.”
Clinging to him, she kissed him as he walked a few yards to place her on a chaise lounge. He moved between her legs and paused to put on the condom. Then he lowered his weight and she wrapped her arms and legs around him as he entered her slowly, driving her wild.
“Jared, love …” His kiss smothered her words and he kissed her as he eased out and then entered her slowly again, teasing and building need, until she arched against him and was writhing with urgency.
Perspiration beaded his shoulders and his forehead as he continued, and finally his control vanished and he thrust hard and fast. She crashed with a climax and rocked with him as he reached his, rapture enveloping her in a golden glow.
Sex was fantastic, but the wrong thing to happen in her life. She lay in his arms as he turned on his side and kept her with him. She caressed him, stroking his back, kissing his shoulder lightly.
“Meg, I want you here with me,” he whispered between the light kisses he showered on her temple and cheek. “Give us a chance and see what develops.”
In a tropical setting, it was more difficult to cling to logic and remain cool and remote. She knew she couldn’t trust him with her heart a second time. She had to go home.
He shifted, holding her close with one arm while he caressed her shoulder and brushed her hair away from her face. “You’re beautiful. And this is the best.”
She caressed his shoulder, kissing him lightly, momentarily enveloped in euphoria and wanting to stay that way a little longer. She wondered whether she would remember this moment all her life. Both of them nude, wrapped in each other’s embrace on the sandy beach. A faint breeze came off the water and she could hear the splash of breakers as they rolled into shore. Lantern light flickered over Jared’s face, illuminating his prominent cheekbones, leaving his eyes in shadows.
“We should shower,” she said.
“How about a quick, moonlight dip? Pool or ocean?”
“Ocean,” she replied and he stood to take her hand. They ran into the water, and when it was over their knees, both fell into it to swim. After minutes, he caught her and stopped, standing in waist-deep water to pull her to him and kiss her again. Their bodies were wet and warm, tantalizing to her. Her heart thudded and she was certain she had to go home to put distance between herself and Jared and get out of this magical dreamland setting where problems lost all reality.
Wrapping her arms around him, she kissed him. He picked her up and waded out to the beach to carry her back into a bedroom.
They made love in bed, and afterward he held her close while he caressed her and murmured endearments that she barely heard. Her mind raced over what to tell him and when, deciding to let it go this night, and to deal with it in the light of day, which would restore a semblance of normalcy.
She wrapped her arms around him to hold him and kiss him again.
They loved through the night and finally slept in each other’s arms, as sunlight began to tint the world with pink. In his arms, she thought about the future, deciding she would go home, mortgage the ranch and hire the best lawyers possible to fight Jared. That would throw it into the courts where the best lawyer usually won.
She woke to an empty bed and left to shower and dress in blue slacks and shirt.
As soon as she was dressed and ready, she sat by the open door to gaze at his tropical flowers and the ocean while she called the family accountant to get him to look into the best rates to mortgage the ranch. After a brief argument, he acquiesced and made plans, saying he would be prepared when she returned home.
Next, she called her South Dakota bank to check on the savings left to her by her father. Then she called the Santa Fe bank to check on savings there, then talked with her stock broker about what she could get from stocks and bonds.
She would have to find new lawyers, the best she could hire. Jared would know the most competent, but she couldn’t ask him. There was that billionaire client—he’d bought her pottery. He could probably give her sound advice. When she was back at the ranch and knew how much she would have available for a court fight, she’d get in touch.
She would have to go home and tell Ethan about his father. There was no avoiding that, so it might as well happen her way.
And she wanted Jared to have a day or two of full responsibility for Ethan, because as a confirmed bachelor, Jared might discover he didn’t want to be burdened with a child after all, and all her problems would be solved. She couldn’t imagine him enjoying being tied down to his son to the extent that he talked about.
Finally, she brushed her hair and put it in a thick braid. She found Jared in the kitchen with breakfast waiting.
He wore khakis, a white knit shirt and deck shoes, and he paused to look at her thoroughly. “Good morning. Come join me,” he said, strolling to her.
She put up her hand and shook her head. “Last night was magic, Jared, but it’s daylight, and reason rules now. I want to go home as soon as possible.”
“Why? I thought we were gaining ground. We’ve talked about some options, developed a relationship, eliminated some possibilities—what’s the rush?”
“I never intended seduction and lovemaking.”
“You can’t say it’s been bad,” he remarked.
“Of course not. But it isn’t what I want and it isn’t doing my future any good. And I told you, I can’t separate it from my emotions the way you can. I don’t want to fall in love again.”
“If falling in love occurs, I’d think it would be the best possible development. It would solve our problems.”
“I don’t trust you. At home we’re in a regular setting, with a normal routine. Logic is not swept away by tropical breezes and magical nights. I want to be back where I can weigh the options for the future. And so far, I haven’t found any I like, even if you have. This may have to get settled in court, Jared,” she said.
His features hardened and a glacial look came to his dark eyes. She didn’t care if he didn’t like her answer. She hadn’t liked any of his.
“Megan, don’t make me take you to court. That could get really ugly and cause a world of hurt for all three of us,” he said in a tone of voice that she suspected had made more than one grown man quail.
She shook her head. “You don’t frighten me. I’ll tell you what I want to do first. I want to go home and tell Ethan that you’re his father. Then I want you to come stay a couple of days at my ranch and begin to get to know him. After that, if it looks feasible, and I approve, I want you to take him home with you and see how you like having responsibility for him all on your own,” she said.
Jared’s expression changed instantly. He came around the table and placed his hands on her waist. “Megan, absolutely fantastic! Now that’s more like it. I can get to know him and Ethan can get to know me and you can see us together. That’s a terrific suggestion!”
“I thought you’d like it,” she said, wondering if he thought he would win her over to doing things his way completely.
“Thank you, Megan. That’s grand. It will give us time to bond. I’ll call to get the plane ready and we can be on our way in about two hours. How’s that?”
“It’s fine with me, Jared.”
He smiled at her and her pulse raced. He looked so damned appealing and sexy, and in spite of all her anger with him, she wanted his arms around her and she longed to kiss him.
But she had the wisdom to not do anything personal. Yearning and anger conflicted; she wanted him to back off. She knew she was in love with him a second time.
“We’ll work this out to everyone’s satisfaction. You’ll see.”
“It would be miraculous if it happened. I just don’t see how.”
He moved away and got his cell phone out of his pocket to make calls. She left him to get ready for the trip home, carrying her bag to the front door and sitting on the veranda to wait.
“Tell me about Ethan, and remember, I want a picture. I’d like to see your scrapbooks about him,” Jared said as they flew home.
“Of course,” she said, “although most of the scrapbooks and that sort of thing are in Santa Fe, not South Dakota.”
“When I come to Santa Fe, I’ll see what you keep there.”
“Jared, you may find you don’t want the responsibility of a child,” she said, receiving a stormy glance and feeling their clash of wills that had returned full force.
“If you’re counting on that, you might as well forget it. I’m going to try my damnedest to get along with my son and be a father to him.”
“That’s different than being a chum.”
“I know that much. How soon will you get him home from your uncle’s house?”
“I’ll drive to Sioux Falls when we get back. I called while I was waiting for you,” she said. “I told them I would pick him up today and take him to the ranch. You can come tomorrow.”
“Did he mind the change in plans?”
“No. You said it yourself—kids adapt. He’s looking forward to seeing me, and I’ll be glad to see him. This has made me miss him twice as much.”
Jared nodded and reached over to take her hand. “Thanks for what you’re doing. I know you don’t want to, but it’s inevitable and much better this way, when you smooth the introduction. Anything we can do to make this transition easier will be better for Ethan, and I appreciate it.”
“I might as well try to do things the best way for him,” she responded, aware of her hand in Jared’s, his dark eyes resting on her.
“I still want you,” he said, sliding his hand behind her head and leaning forward to kiss her long and slowly.
She kept reminding herself to resist him, but she kissed him back instead. And each kiss forged a tighter bond, would be a bigger heartbreak and more of a struggle for her.
He raised his head. “Stop fighting me, Meg. You want this, too.”
“No, I don’t. I will contend with you as long as you kiss and flirt.” She withdrew her hand from his. He stretched out his long legs and crossed them at the ankles.
“Tell me about Ethan,” he said.
They talked about Ethan over a light lunch, and then Jared tried to charm and entertain her the rest of the way home with stories from his life.
Finally, she told him good-bye and headed to the ranch, anxious to see Ethan. And she wished with all her heart she didn’t have to face her son and tell him that his real father wasn’t who he’d thought all these years, but another man—one he had met only recently and briefly.
