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“You must have been close friends,” she said.
“He was my best friend.” Jared stared straight ahead as he turned into a graveled lot lighted by a tall pole lamp. He parked and cut the motor, still staring out the front window. She saw a muscle knot in his jaw.
“You know, life is strange. My family was such a mess growing up, I finally ran away. I’ve lived everywhere and done nearly everything, but when Dusty died, it got to me like not much else ever has. I think part of it has to do with Merry. Sometimes when I’m with her, I know what he’s missing. It shouldn’t be me watching her get her first tooth, it should be Dusty.”
“Sorry, Jared. But it’s wonderful you took responsibility for her.”
“She’s my life now,” he said, reaching back to touch the baby’s wispy hair. “Enough about the past. C’mon, let’s eat.”
As they stepped out of the car, Faith glanced around. Red neon burned over the door in a simple sign reading Eldon’s Café. Across the street was a bar and pool hall, and down the block another bar.
“The area’s not great,” he said, as if he had noticed her inspection. “But they have the best spaghetti south of Chicago and it’s quiet inside so we can talk. You said you like Italian.”
“I do. I’ve lived in Tulsa all my life and I’ve never eaten here.”
“This isn’t your style, Faith. Those businessmen you date prefer other places. This is pretty simple,” he said as he unbuckled the carrier and lifted it from the rear seat of the pickup. He closed the door and took her arm.
They entered a small, one-room café with wooden tables, an old-fashioned jukebox and men on stools along the bar at the end of the room. A few customers were scattered at booths and tables around the room. Jared led her to a booth and placed the carrier on the seat. He hung his hat on a peg before sitting down to face Faith. As soon as they had glasses of water and had ordered their meals, he took a drink of the beer he had requested and then lowered the bottle to study her.
“Tell me about yourself, Faith. How many brothers and sisters and nieces and nephews do you have?”
“I’m next to the oldest of five siblings. My brothers and sisters are married and all have children.”
“So you’re the career woman.”
She looked down, running her fingers on the cold glass, and watched as little drops of water dripped to the table. “I am. To tell the truth, it’s beginning to get a little stale.”
“How so? You looked pretty dedicated back there.”
“I used to love my work and couldn’t wait to get to the office. It was fun and I was eager and it was exciting.” She glanced up to meet his steady, disconcerting gaze. “I don’t know why I’m telling you all this.”
“Because I’m a good listener,” he answered lightly. “If you feel that way, why don’t you ease up? Go out more. Date. Maybe you’re suffering burnout.”
“I keep telling myself I don’t have burnout, but I don’t feel like I used to.... Anyway, now you tell me about you. Two brothers. Where are your parents?” She saw him arch one brow; otherwise, there was no indication she had struck a nerve.
“My parents, darlin’, are no longer living. My grandparents are full-blood Kiowa. My brothers and I didn’t have the same fathers. Actually, we didn’t have any legal fathers—all of them were common-law husbands. My blood father was alcoholic, verbally abusive—not a sterling character.”
“I’m sorry,” she said, saddened by the knowledge that his past had been so vastly different from her own happy childhood.
He shrugged. “I have two older brothers who are great. Wyatt has grown up with a sense of right and wrong that is powerful.”
“Did he get that from your mother?”
“Oh, hell, no.” Jared paused as plates of spaghetti with thick red sauce were placed before them. The waitress set a basket with hot, golden breadsticks on the table.
“Can I get you anything else?” she asked.
“No, thanks,” Jared answered when Faith shook her head.
“You were telling me about your brother Wyatt,” Faith prompted, curious about Jared’s family.
“Wyatt got his fine-tuned conviction of what’s right and wrong from our granddad. We spent a lot of time on the farm with him. My grandparents live in southern Oklahoma, and they were the Rock of Gibraltar in our lives. We moved all over. I ran away when I was sixteen, so I didn’t finish high school,” he said, giving her a level look. “And why do I suspect you have more than one college degree?”
Surprised he had guessed, she shrugged. “I didn’t think it showed,” she answered lightly. “I have my MBA and a degree in graphic art.”
“So our life-styles and our backgrounds are different,” he said, putting his fork down. He leaned across the table, sliding his hand behind her head.
She inhaled, his touch bringing a tingling awareness to her whole body. Her pulse raced, and she felt as if she was drowning in his dark eyes. “You have a fancy executive job while I drift across the country riding horses and bulls. Even with all these glaring differences, why do I suspect we have some very common ground between us?”
“I don’t think we do have any common ground,” she whispered, barely able to get her voice. He was like a magnet, stirring and pulling everything to him.
He leaned back and placed her barrette on the table. “I like your hair better that way,” he said.
She touched her hair in surprise. “I didn’t even feel you take that out.”
Amusement sparkled in his eyes. “I have a practiced hand,” he drawled. “A very sensitive touch.” She suspected he was not talking about taking out barrettes, but she had never been into light flirting and double entendres, so she let the remarks drop.
“I’ll tell you some common ground,” he continued cheerfully. “You like Merry, and from the way you look at her, you like little babies a whole damn lot.”
“Yes, I do,” she said, trying to gather her wits and pick up the thread of his conversation.
“Tell me more about yourself. What do you want out of life?”
She couldn’t recall the last time anyone had asked her that question. Or if anyone ever had asked her. She paused, her fork halting. “When I was a little girl, I collected dolls, and all I wanted was to grow up, get married and have babies. Then I got older and began to want a successful career in graphic art. End of ambitions.”
“You want to own the company?”
“Actually, no. I like doing the design and art work. I’m not as interested in management.”
He smiled, a slight curving of his mouth, a satisfied glint in his eyes that made her uneasy, as if she had just passed a test.
“So tell me about your parents and how you spend holidays and where all these siblings live.”
“They all live here in Tulsa, very close to our folks and one another. We spend holidays together, and with all the little nieces and nephews it’s fun and hectic.”
Jared finished his dinner and listened to her describe her banker father, her attorney brother, Andy, her stockbroker brother, Keith, as well as her two married sisters who were home with their children. While Faith finished her spaghetti and talked, Jared felt more sure by the second that this lady was going to be special in his life. Every time she talked about marriage and babies, she got a wistful note in her voice. She might have a hell of a career, but the woman wanted a baby, and-it showed almost as plainly as if she had announced it.
When Merry stirred, he picked her up.
“I’ll hold her if she’ll let me,” Faith said, and Jared handed Merry to her. Faith settled Merry in her arms and smiled at the baby. She touched the baby’s cheek. “How did you get to know her father?”
“Rodeo. He was into bull riding and saddle broncs just like I am. I knew Merry’s mother, too. She was a good-looking woman. Too damn good-looking. She never intended to get pregnant, and when Merry was born, she took off. She never married Dusty, and she told him she didn’t want any part of their kid. Some mother,” he said.
“So how did you become father to her? Or would you rather not talk about it?”
“Dusty lost control of his pickup and he was thrown out. He didn’t wear a seat belt and his internal injuries were terrible.” Faith sat quietly while silence stretched between them, and she knew he was having another struggle with his emotions.
“Jared, I didn’t mean to pry,” she said softly, reaching out to cover his hand with hers.
He turned his head away, pinched the bridge of his nose and wiped his eyes. “Sorry. It seems like yesterday. I got to the hospital as fast as I could. Dusty asked me to take Merry. I didn’t want to. Hell, I felt inadequate to be a dad. I damned sure didn’t have a good role model growing up.”
“Sounds as if you did in your grandfather.”
“Yeah, I did. Anyway, Dusty was insistent I take Merry because he was dying.” Jared met her gaze and looked down at her hand lying over his. He opened his hand, his fingers closing around hers, warm and strong and sure. Why did every little thing with him seem special? This cowboy was playing havoc with her system, and she suspected she was going to remember this day and night forever.
“Dusty begged me to adopt her. When I agreed, he got a lawyer and we signed the papers. Dusty didn’t live until morning.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Yeah,” Jared said, staring beyond her as if lost in memories. He gave her hand a squeeze and released her. Picking up his beer, he took a long drink. “Was I lost at first! I’d never been around a little baby in my life. Never held one. She’s an angel and she’s blessed my life.”
“That’s wonderful that you adopted her,” Faith said. She was amazed he had adapted so well to fatherhood after the vagabond life he must have led.
“Looks like they want to close,” he said, gesturing to the empty café. “Let’s get out of here. We can talk in the pickup or we can go to my place.”
“My stars,” she exclaimed, looking at her watch. “It’s half past twelve! We’ve been talking for over two hours.”
He gave her a crooked grin. “So we have,” he said, with so much satisfaction, she had to laugh.
“Don’t tell me you knew we would.”
“I didn’t say it.” He had paid the check long before, and as he slid out of the booth he placed his hat on his head. He took Merry from her and picked up the carrier.
The night breeze was cool when they stepped outside, catching locks of Faith’s hair and blowing them across her cheek. Jared fastened Merry’s carrier onto the back seat, and said, “She’s asleep again. The afternoon in the park must have worn her out even with her little naps.” He slid behind the wheel and turned to Faith. “Give me directions.”
She did so, and they drove across south Tulsa to Faith’s condo, where Jared punched in the code to open black iron gates. Moments later, he stopped in her driveway and cut the motor.
“Want to see where I live?” she asked. She hadn’t given thought to whether or not she would invite him in, simply because she hadn’t expected to, yet when he’d switched off the motor, the words were out of her mouth before she could take them back.
“Sure. I’ll bring Merry,” he said, climbing out of the pickup. He reached into the back seat to gather the baby.
They entered Faith’s apartment through a small hallway leading into her kitchen. She switched on a light while Jared placed Merry, still in her carrier, on an oval wooden kitchen table and dropped his hat on a chair. The spotless room contained cherry wood cabinets, tile countertops and a pale blue-and-white floor.
“This is nice,” he said.
“I’ll give you a tour.” Hanging her keys and purse on a hook, she motioned to him, leading him through a formal dining area with a fruitwood table and sideboard, the surfaces gleaming. He thought of the tiny fingerprints smudged on the furniture in his hotel room, Merry’s diapers and belongings and toys strewn over the room, and his own clutter.
The living area was equally immaculate with Impressionist paintings hanging on the white walls, muted pastel upholstery lending touches of color in the beige-and-white decor and more fruitwood furniture.
“Would you like a glass of tea or pop?” she asked.
“Whatever pleases you suits me just fine.”
He followed her into the kitchen again and when she opened the refrigerator door, he quickly pushed it closed. He placed his hands on the refrigerator on either side of her, hemming her in.
Faith’s heart jumped and she drew a deep breath as she gazed up at him. He stood close enough that she could see a faint dark stubble on his jaw. His skin was smooth and brown, his eyes pools of midnight. A faint, thin scar ran across his right cheekbone.
“I don’t really need something to drink. Go with me to the rodeo tomorrow night. Come watch me ride.”
“Jared, dinner was nice—”
When his dark gaze drifted down to her mouth, her refusal died in her throat. Her pulse drummed, and she could see his intention in his eyes. Her body tightened, heated. The magic chemistry that had flamed between them from the first moments burned hotter than ever. She wanted his kiss, wanted his arms around her. Defying all logic and past history, disregarding every sensible thing she knew, she wanted his kisses. He was an unknown quantity, a temptation to discover secrets life had so far withheld from her. She closed her eyes and tilted her face.
Jared’s heart thudded. He saw the invitation, knew she was responding to him the moment her words died.
He knew full well they were as different as a flower from the equator and a glacier in the Arctic, yet a sizzling attraction burned between them. She was wonderful with Merry, and since when had he ever held back because of fear of the unknown?
He slid his arm around her narrow waist, feeling the suppleness of her body, and watched her almost visibly melt into his arms. Her scent was a bouquet of spring flowers. Soft and tantalizing like all the rest of her.
Her hands came up to rest gently on his shoulders—a feather touch—yet the contact jolted him straight to his heart. Her eyes opened to watch him. He could see the questions in their cool, green depths, see the willingness, the invitation that made him shake with anticipation.
His mouth covered hers, tasted, sought and found a heated sweetness that shattered barriers he had built up around his heart too many years ago to remember. His arm tightened and his world shifted, and he wondered if it would ever again be the same. This woman was special to him. They barely knew each other, yet he wanted her. Needed her.
He didn’t stop to question whether his feelings were right or wrong any more than he had stopped to question his actions at sixteen when he had run into a dark night, leaving family and home behind.
And he’d felt as if he was searching for something all those years, running, drifting, always seeking. In Faith’s sweetness and searing kisses, he felt as if he was home. Yet what could he offer her in return? She was accustomed to business types with their methodical planning and driving ambitions, not rough-hewed cowboys who took each day as it came.
While his heart thudded, he fitted her against his body, one arm tightly around her, his other hand tangled in her silky hair. He felt a chance for a future with her, yet was he pushing his dreams too far? She clearly loved little babies and responded to Merry, yet she might never come to love him.
He gave a deep growl in his throat. He was a man of action, not one to spend time debating the wisest course. She felt right in his arms. She was a marvel; her kisses, her warmth were perfection. Even if he was just a cowboy, she was responding to him. She seemed ready for something more in her life, too. Take a chance, his heart whispered.
Her slender arms wrapped around his neck and her hips thrust against him. When she trembled and moaned softly, his temperature soared. He wanted her with every inch of his being.
Faith had never known kisses like Jared’s, kisses that made years of loneliness fall away. Nor had she ever experienced the dizzying passion that burned into her, igniting responses she didn’t know she had. She felt drawn to this enigmatic man. She sensed a desperate need in him that sought fulfillment as much as the empty void she felt in herself.
Her sane, logical, routine world was torn apart in the raging storm of his kisses. Time hung in the balance. For this moment he was all she knew and, for now, all she wanted to know.
His lean, hard body pressed against her, and she felt his arousal. He raised his head and she opened her eyes, dazzled and befuddled. Kisses weren’t supposed to be life-changing. And his kisses had ended too swiftly.
She looked up into smoldering dark eyes that caused her heart to thud.
“Ah, Faith,” Jared said softly, running his finger along her jaw. “Will you marry me?”
Four
“Marry you?” Faith gazed up at him, uncertain she had heard him correctly.
Reality came crashing in. Startled by his proposal, she shook her head. Her logical way of viewing a problem surfaced. “Marriage is absurd. We don’t know each other at all!” She thought about all the times she had dreamed of marriage. In all those fantasies she had always imagined dating someone for a long time, then getting engaged, followed by months of planning for the wedding.
Too aware of the slightest contact with him, she dropped her hands to her sides. Jared still held her firmly, his arms around her waist, even though she wiggled to move away. “We can’t marry,” she continued. “If I ever marry, I will be wildly in love. I will have dated him for a long time and known him even longer. My family will know him. We’ll like the same things, have the same background—”
“That’s not what your kisses just told me,” Jared whispered, brushing a kiss across her temple that made her pulse jump again.
“How many women have you proposed to?” she snapped, flustered.
“Only one, just now,” he said so solemnly it took her breath away.
“We’re strangers and we’re not in love.”
