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He grinned. “You sound surprised.”
“No, I just didn’t know.”
“So now maybe I’m one small degree more acceptable.”
She didn’t answer, thinking about all that had happened between them. He picked up her hand and brushed a warm kiss across her knuckles. “Stop worrying so much, Ashley.”
“I’m trying, Ryan,” she answered. “It’s difficult,” she said, thinking about his father and brothers.
“It’s obvious that at some point in time, about four months back, you found me likable,” he said dryly. She started to pull her hand free, but he tightened his grip.
“Calm down, Ashley. You’re annoyed because you want to make every single decision yourself. Let me hold your hand.” He raised it to his lips to brush another kiss there.
“By the end of two weeks, I’ll be a wreck with wanting you,” he said in a hoarse voice that set her nerves humming.
“The two weeks will fly by,” she said, thankful for all she had already accomplished.
“Not quickly enough for me.”
At her door he gave her a light kiss and left. As she moved around, getting ready for bed, she thought about all that had happened during the weekend. Ryan had a great family, and she was more relieved over that discovery than she’d let him know. She realized that the more she was with Ryan and the more she learned about him, the more likely it was that she would fall in love with him. She paused with her nightgown in hand.
Was she already in love with him? They were together constantly now, and everything she learned seemed to increase his devastating appeal. They were opposites in so many ways, yet they were compatible, too, about families, schools for their baby, dancing and even being together, when marriage wasn’t the issue. He had always made her heart pound just by being there. But were her feelings for him stronger now because she was more involved with him? Was she already in love with Ryan, when he didn’t love her in return?
Seven
Two weeks later, on Saturday morning, Ashley stood in front of an oval mirror in the bride’s dressing room at Ryan’s church. She gazed at herself, while her grandmother stood beside her smoothing out her veil. “You look so beautiful, Ashley. If only your mother could see you!”
“You look pretty, too,” she said, thinking her grandmother did look lovely in her slim-fitting rose silk dress, her silver hair turned under. On her shoulder was a gardenia corsage from Ryan. “I can’t believe this day is actually here.”
“It is, and it’s time for me to go, since I’ll sit in front, in your mother’s place.” She placed her hands on Ashley’s shoulders. “I wish you all the happiness in the world. You must be marrying a fine man, Ashley. He’s been amazingly generous and kind to us. I know about the mortgage and about his offer to send Jeff to college.”
“Dad seems to be happy and grateful. I was afraid he would refuse to let Ryan help.”
“I think Ryan convinced him that we’re part of his family now and he’s part of ours, so it’s all the same. But of course, it never really is. You’re fortunate, Ashley. You’re marrying a fine man.”
“I am, Grandmother,” she answered, feeling thoroughly insincere, wanting to cry that she really didn’t know Ryan that well, and they didn’t love each other. Or at least, he didn’t love her.
She turned to hug her grandmother, wondering what would have happened if she had told Ryan no. It was too late for such speculation now. She stepped back, and Laura straightened Ashley’s train.
“This is a gorgeous dress and perfect for you. Now c’mon, girls, it’s time,” she said to the bridesmaids, who wore yellow sheath dresses and carried bouquets of mixed spring flowers with huge yellow tulips.
They filed out with her grandmother, and Ashley turned back to the mirror to look at herself, unable to believe what she saw in the mirror. She fingered the exquisite gold filigreed necklace entwined with diamonds and pearls that Ryan had presented to her last night.
Ashley knew her father was waiting, and in minutes it would be time for her entrance. But she wanted a moment to compose herself.
There was a knock on the door, and she assumed someone had come to get her. She turned, expecting her father. “Come in,” she called. The door swung open and Ryan’s redheaded friend, Kayla Landon, entered.
Startled, Ashley felt a chill as she turned. “If you’re looking for the sanctuary, it’s down the hall to the right.”
“No, I’m looking for you,” Kayla said in a soft voice, and again, Ashley was amazed that Ryan had wanted so badly to marry, because this woman was stunning. She wore a gorgeous, skintight white silk dress with embroidered red rosebuds along the neckline and the hem. Her hair was curled, hanging to her shoulders. She had flawless skin; rosy cheeks; a full, pouty mouth; thick eyelashes; and a figure that should turn all male heads at the wedding.
As Ashley looked at her, she suddenly no longer felt so pretty, and her dress seemed incredibly plain and simple in comparison.
“I wanted to congratulate you on catching Ryan,” Kayla said, coming into the room and closing the door behind her. “That’s quite a coup. You’re not in his social class and you’re definitely not his type. We all know that he’s marrying you out of pity,” she said with a smug expression.
Ashley had started to reach for her bouquet, preparing to leave, but she halted abruptly in shock.
Kayla came close enough for her perfume to reach Ashley. “I never dreamed a pregnancy would do it,” Kayla continued. “You know he doesn’t love you. That’s the only reason a man like Ryan would marry you.”
Ashley clamped her jaw more tightly as a knot closed her throat. The only way Kayla could know about the pregnancy was from Ryan. He had broken a trust, and at that moment she hated him for it.
“Of course, he’ll marry you, but if you think he’ll stay faithful, think again,” Kayla purred, smiling slyly. “If he can’t stay faithful before the marriage, he won’t stay true after, and you might as well know now what you’re getting into. I’m sure you don’t care, though, as long as you get some of his money. He ought to insist on a paternity test, however, to make sure he’s the father.”
“Get out, Kayla!” Ashley snapped, hating the tears that threatened. “Get out!” She looked around for something to throw at the woman whose eyes widened before she turned to yank open the door again, her laughter floating behind her.
“Of course, it’s never too late to back out. And I’m definitely not out of his life.” She closed the door.
Shaking in dismay, Ashley dabbed at her tears, knowing she was streaking the light makeup she wore. Ryan hadn’t been faithful. He had shared the secret of her pregnancy with Kayla, when only their families were supposed to know. That hurt worse than anything.
Ashley clenched her fists. She couldn’t go through with this sham wedding! It wasn’t too late. She could run away right now, and explain to her family and friends later. It would prevent this wedding from happening, and save her from marrying a man she couldn’t trust.
She reached behind her to unfasten Ryan’s necklace and throw it against the wall. She hurt all over and didn’t want to marry him, no matter what he did or what happened.
She was reaching back again to free the top button of her dress, when she paused. Could she hurt so many people—Ryan’s family, her family, the baby? Or marry him and take his financial support and have an easier life—would that be better?
Someone rapped on the door. “Ashley, it’s time,” her brother called. “Everyone’s waiting.”
Numbly, she picked up her bouquet of white orchids and white roses. She walked slowly to the foyer, while her father came forward with a somber expression. He tilted her chin up.
“You don’t look happy,” he said gruffly, unable to hide his worry. He dug in his pocket and withdrew keys. “Honey, you can walk right out the door now. Take my car and go, and I’ll explain for you. Don’t enter into a marriage that’ll make you miserable. You can back out this minute and I’ll stand by you. Take my car keys.”
With a heavy heart she stared at the keys in his open palm. She could walk away and her father would give her his support. Did she want to escape this marriage to Ryan? Because here was her last chance before taking a vow.
Had something gone wrong? Ryan knew time was passing.
While he stood at the altar, he reminded himself to be patient. Maybe it was something with Ashley’s dress or hair that had delayed her.
The bridesmaids were in place and the organist was improvising, playing the same music repeatedly.
Right now, their wedding night seemed a thousand hours away instead of the end of the day. Ryan’s father stood beside him, and Nick and Jake were lined up beyond his dad and brothers. Ryan glanced over the large crowd. His church was beautiful, with rock walls, a vaulted ceiling and a huge pipe organ. The carpet was a brilliant blue and sunshine poured through the stained glass windows, which glowed like multicolored jewels, but he barely noticed his surroundings. He wanted to glance at his watch. Ashley was late, which was uncharacteristic of her.
Where was she? Had something happened? Was she having cold feet at the last minute? Worries plagued him and he thought about the moment this morning when he had been seized by the feeling that he had pushed Ashley too hard into this wedding. But then he’d come to the same conclusion he always had, that marriage was the best for all concerned.
Should he have waited and courted her, and married her after the baby’s arrival?
Too late now, unless she had run out on him. He shifted his weight slightly, wanting to leave and go find her. He’d heard of runaway brides.
And then he saw her appear in the narthex and take her father’s arm. They stood talking, and Ryan wished they would begin. Finally, the organist received the signal that the bride was ready.
As Ashley walked toward him down the aisle, all of Ryan’s worries and apprehensions vanished. His mouth went dry and his heart pounded. He remembered the first hour he’d met her at a party, and how he’d been drawn to her easy smile and open friendliness with everyone. The attraction between them had been instant and intense.
Today she looked stunning, incredibly beautiful, and he didn’t have a qualm or doubt that he was doing the right thing. He couldn’t imagine that they wouldn’t fall deeply in love.
She was ravishing, sexy, independent. So far as he could discover, she had great qualities. He liked her family. Reassured they were doing the best possible thing, he watched her. He wanted her to himself, and knew this would be one of the longest days of his life until he could get her away for their honeymoon.
As she drew closer, he frowned. She was pale as snow and wouldn’t look at him.
Surely this wasn’t her anger stirred up all over again. Last night at their rehearsal dinner, she had seemed to have a great time, and had kissed him thoroughly before she’d told him good-night. Yet as her father placed her hand in his, Ryan knew something was dreadfully awry. Her father’s expression reinforced his suspicions.
When they turned to repeat their vows, Ryan clasped Ashley’s icy hands and glanced at her bare throat. Where was the diamond-and-pearl necklace he had given her the night before? She had seemed thrilled with it, and said she’d wear it today, but no necklace adorned her throat now.
Ryan couldn’t wait to talk to her, and tried to concentrate on their wedding, knowing he should pay attention. Yet there was no way that Ashley was enjoying one minute of it. What had happened?
Finally the minister pronounced them man and wife. He introduced them to the crowd and they swept up the aisle. Ryan held Ashley’s arm and motioned to an usher. “Tell the photographer that we’ll be right back for pictures,” he said, before turning to her. “Come here,” he ordered, and tugged lightly on her arm. She went with him down a long hall, and the first empty room he could find, he stepped inside. Closing the door behind them, he gripped her shoulders and leaned down to look directly into her eyes.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
She gazed at him with a glacial expression. “I don’t know why I thought I could count on you. This marriage isn’t built on respect and trust.”
“What are you talking about? Trust me about what?”
“To be faithful. To not announce that I’m pregnant and that you have to marry me.”
Shocked, he frowned. “What on earth are you talking about? I haven’t done any such thing. There hasn’t been another woman in my life since you came into it. The only people I’ve told about your pregnancy were our families, when you were with me.”
“Please!”
“That’s the truth! Where’s all this coming from?”
“Kayla came to see me before the wedding—”
“Dammit!” Fury boiled in him over a woman from his past that he couldn’t shake out of his present. “You listened to her?” His anger intensified, hot and swift and blinding, but was followed instantly by common sense and relief. “Ashley, there’s not one shred of truth in anything she said to you. I swear, there isn’t. I wish I’d never met her.”
Ashley’s eyes widened as she searched his gaze.
“Kayla is over and out of my life, whether she likes it or not,” he insisted. “There hasn’t been anyone—”
“How’d she know that I’m pregnant?”
Surprised, he slid his hands down Ashley’s upper arms. “Darlin’, I don’t know what she said to you, but I’d say that she was guessing. If you’d denied being pregnant, she would’ve shrugged it away. Knowing you, I doubt you contradicted her. I swear to you that I didn’t tell her that you’re pregnant, nor have I been unfaithful to you.”
“She said I wasn’t in your class, and the only reason you’d marry me was out of pity, since I’m pregnant.”
“Dammit, forget all that rubbish about class. I’ve told you about my past. I came from nothing. I’m not of one class and you another. That’s absurd. It sounds feudal. You have a great family. I like them and I’m not marrying you out of pity or sympathy or any such thing. Kayla guessed the pregnancy. Did you confirm it?”
“No. I was stunned,” Ashley replied quietly. “Her accusation of your being unfaithful isn’t true. Or am I being naive to ask?”
“Hardly. I told you, there hasn’t been anyone for a long time, definitely not since you’ve been back in my life. Nothing Kayla said was the truth,” he insisted. “I promise you.”
Her gaze searched his and he waited quietly, knowing she was weighing what he’d said against what Kayla had told her. “I almost left this morning,” Ashley admitted.
“Thank heavens you didn’t!” he exclaimed. “Okay, now?”
While silence again stretched between them, he gazed into her eyes, until she nodded. “Okay. I may be the most gullible woman on earth, but I’ll accept what you’re saying.”
“Ashley, time will show you that I’m truthful. C’mon, let’s go enjoy our wedding.”
“All through the ceremony I kept thinking I was making a mistake. I barely heard what the minister said.”
“I’m sorry Kayla ruined your wedding for you. She’s out of my life. I hope you heard the minister pronounce us man and wife.”
“I heard that,” Ashley said solemnly.
Ryan looked at her features and her hair. “You look stunning today. I”ll remember you forever the way you look now.”
She smiled, and he smiled in return. “Let’s give each other half a chance,” he added. “I expect us to fall in love.”
“I hope you’re right.”
“Did you hear him say, ‘You may kiss the bride’?” Ryan asked, his desire spiraling as he looked at her full, soft mouth.
“Yes, I did,” she answered, with that sultry quality in her voice that excited him even more. He leaned the last few inches to kiss her, and her mouth opened to him as she wrapped her arms around him. Her kiss aroused him, and he longed to be alone with her. He wanted her naked in his arms, in his bed.
A pounding on the door got through to him dimly above the roaring of his pulse, while Ashley pushed against his chest and wiggled away. “Ryan!” a deep voice called.
“That’s Brett.” Ryan reached around her to open the door, and his brother stepped inside.
“Sorry,” he said apologetically to Ashley. “They’re searching for both of you for pictures. You’re holding up the works.”
“Yeah, yeah, we’re coming,” Ryan answered, wishing he could pick her up and run out the back with her, sweeping her away right now. He took her arm and they started to follow Brett, then stopped again.
“Everything okay now?”
“Yes,” she said, smiling at him. Yet there was still a wary look in her eyes, and he wondered how much damage Kayla had done.
“Where’s the necklace I gave you?” he asked.
Her expression was stricken and her hand flew to her throat.
“Ryan, it’s—” She bit her lip and blinked. “I’m so sorry. I threw it on the floor of the room where I dressed. Let me go get it.”
He shook his head. “I’ll have Cal or Brett find it. Don’t worry. The necklace isn’t what’s important here.” He received a warm look at that, and felt better, hoping they’d cleared the air between them.
During the picture taking Ryan kept his arm around Ashley’s waist as much as possible, wanting her close at his side. The minute they reached the club for the reception, he was separated from her by crowds of friends and relatives, who congratulated him and wished him well. Often, he could spot Ashley across the room, and occasionally, she would look around and make eye contact. He could feel the invisible electricity instantly generated, and fought a constant urge to glance at his watch.
Finally she was at his side and it was time for the first dance. He took her hand as they made their way to the dance floor. She had shed the train of her dress, and followed his lead easily.
“I want to take down your hair and peel you out of that gown and kiss you all night long,” he said, knowing he ought to avoid the erotic images of her that he had thought about so much today. “You’re in my whole being, like a heady wine, Ashley.”
