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“Not when I came here. I had finished at Ross and Hoy earlier that week. I know the rules. I know about impropriety.”
“You don’t know a damn thing about impropriety,” he told her flatly. “And if I had taken you up on your offer, that wouldn’t have been the end of it. Would it?”
“What do you mean?”
“You would have wanted to get married.”
“Married?” There was a hectic flush on her cheeks.
“You would have.” He flung the accusation at her. It was no secret. She’d been that kind of girl. “If I’d slept with you—had sex with you—” he made it as blunt as he could “—you wouldn’t have been willing just to walk away, would you?”
She opened her mouth, but no words came out. She didn’t need to say them. He already knew.
“No, you wouldn’t. You’d have wanted a relationship. You and me. Happily ever after. Married.” He spat the word at her, daring her to dispute it.
Natalie ran her tongue over her lips, still silent, her eyes spearing him.
He gritted his teeth. “You wouldn’t have wanted a one-night fling, Natalie. You’d have wanted it all.”
“Yes, I would have,” she said at last, her voice quiet but steady. “What’s wrong with that?”
Christo felt instantly justified. “It’s foolishness. It creates false expectations. It does more harm than good.”
“Does it?” She didn’t sound convinced.
“Damn it, yes, it does! Look at your parents! Look at mine. You don’t know them,” he said, “but take it from me, they were a disaster together.”
“I’m sorry.”
He didn’t want her sorrow. Or her pity. Or anything else. The only thing he wanted, heaven help him, was her.
He shook his head, turned away. And damned if she didn’t put a hand on his arm. He jerked away. “Don’t.”
But she persisted, wrapped her fingers around his forearm, nails digging lightly into his flesh as she tugged him around to make him look at her. “Christo.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
It was that single quiet insistent word that undermined his resolve. He turned toward her, anguished. “You don’t know what you’re saying. You’re going to be sorry.”
Mutely she shook her head, looking up at him, eyes brimming with emotion. “I appreciate what you did three years ago.” She offered him a ghost of a smile. “Now that I know why you did it. But I’m not the girl I was then. You don’t have to protect me anymore, Christo.”
His jaw tightened. “Right. So you’re going to protect yourself?” He didn’t see how.
She shrugged. “I’m a big girl. I’m a grown-up. I was grown up then, but foolish perhaps. Maybe I still am,” she acknowledged. “But that’s my problem, not yours.” Her hand slid up his arm, touched his cheek.
And damn it, he couldn’t help turning his face so that his lips touched her palm. He shut his eyes and took a desperate breath. He felt as if he was standing on the edge of a cliff, the slightest movement capable of blowing him right over.
“Christo.” Her voice was soft, close enough that he could feel the words on his skin. Then closer still. Her lips traced his jawline.
Christo had as much willpower as the next man. More than most, probably. But there were limits. He’d met his.
And he couldn’t fight it any longer. His arms wrapped around her. His own lips sought her mouth, took it in a desperate move, one his body had been wanting to make for days. One his mind could no longer resist.
Maybe he’d have had a burst of sanity—if she’d panicked, if she’d shown the slightest resistance, if she hadn’t slid her arms around him and held him tight, if he hadn’t felt her heart thunder in rhythm with his own, if her mouth hadn’t been as eager as his.
But she was as eager as he was. And as they kissed, as his hands roamed her back, he wondered how he had resisted temptation so long.
The feel of her hands on him was sweet torture. Fingers slipped under his shirt and walked up his spine. He arched his back and felt the exquisite pressure of his erection pressing against her belly.
Natalie felt it, too. Had to. Had to know how much he wanted her.
“Nat.” His voice was low and thick with his need for her. Saying her name was as much of a warning as he was capable of. That and stillness. One last moment of gripping her upper arms, holding her motionless. He felt a shudder run through him—the last of his willpower gone.
Her lips touched his. “Love me, Christo.”
It wasn’t love. He wanted to say that to her, but the words wouldn’t come.
Only the kisses came. Hungry desperate kisses. The taste of her was making him crazy. He steered her toward the sofa, needed to hold her, to lie with her.
“Not here,” she whispered. And taking his hand, she led the way into the small guest room where she was staying. The bed was only a single size. It didn’t matter. They wouldn’t need more.
She had dropped the clothes she’d worn to her meeting on the bed when she’d changed. Now she scooped them off and put them on the chair. Then she turned back to him with a smile and drew him down with her, ran her hands up under his shirt, her fingers cool on his heated flesh.
And Christo touched her with a reverence that surprised him. Sex was recreation. It was meeting physical needs. But holding Natalie in his arms didn’t feel like recreation. And sliding his hands up her sides and cupping her breasts in his hands didn’t feel like the same simple assuaging of physical needs.
He was learning the joy of touching her. Watching her face to see the expressions that passed over it. As he lay down beside her and wrapped her in his arms, she moved closer so that their knees touched, their hips bumped, her lips grazed the line of his jaw and chin. Christo nuzzled her hair, breathing deeply now, allowing himself to relish the scent of it—of her.
Minutes ago he’d resisted, fought off the desire it provoked, tried in vain to remain indifferent to her.
But that was then. And now?
Now he didn’t think. He didn’t analyze. He didn’t argue pro or con. He simply savored. And wanted more.
He took it, too, because Natalie encouraged him. She made soft sounds that made his heart beat faster, made him want to hear more, feel more, taste more.
He stroked her silken skin beneath her shirt. It was so smooth, so warm, it seemed to encourage the glide of his fingers. Then he shoved himself up to kneel beside her and draw her shirt up. He tugged it over her head, then bent to press his lips to her collarbone, and nibble his way down between her breasts. His hands framed her rib cage and he kissed his way down to her navel.
“Christo!” Her eyes were dark and wide, her lips formed a soft O at his touch. And then she skimmed his shirt over his head as well and rose to kiss his chest and run her fingers over his pectoral muscles.
It was a dance of fingers and lips. Touches and nibbles, light friction, gentle stroking. And every one stoked the fire building within.
He dispensed with her bra then knelt between her knees and cupped her breasts in his palms. And she watched him, unblinking, her lower lip caught in her teeth, her breath coming in soft thready whispers.
With his fingers he traced the aureoles around taut nipples, then bent his head and laved each one in turn, making her shiver and shift beneath him. And the look on her face made him as eager for her as she was for him.
He pulled back and hooked his thumbs inside the waistband of her shorts when she lifted her hips, slid them down her legs and tossed them away. Only a scrap of pale-blue cotton and lace covered her now.
“Christo.” She reached for his zip, and with fumbling fingers he yanked it down and shed his jeans, kicking them aside, then peeled off his boxers as well, sucking in his breath as the cool night air coming through the window hit his heated bare flesh.
He would have bared her, too, then, but she reached out a hand and touched him lightly, stroked the length of him, made him clench his teeth and suck in a sharp breath. It hissed through his teeth and she said, “Are you all right?”
“No. I’m going to lose it completely in half a second if you do that again. Don’t. Touch.”
Her eyes widened as she jerked her hand away. “Ever?”
He laughed, a strained laugh, one that revealed to him, if not to her, just how tenuous a grip he had on his control. “No. Just now. I want—I want to take it slow and that’s…not going to happen.”
He skimmed the lacy panties down her legs and then slid trembling fingers back up the length of them, touched her, teased her, probed her gently.
Now Natalie sucked in a breath, too. Her hips shifted. Her fingers clenched on the quilt that covered the bed. And Christo moved between her knees, stroking her now, parting her, finding her as ready for him as he was for her.
Then she was grasping his hips and pulling him down to her, her need as naked as her body as she opened to him.
Naked bodies meant nothing more than pleasure. Naked emotions were something else again. But he couldn’t look away. She mesmerized him, made him ache with the need of her.
He couldn’t turn back now. Couldn’t resist the pull to join his body to hers.
He slid in, took her. Gave himself over to the need that surged within him, and tried to give Natalie the satisfaction that she was giving him.
She was so hot, so tight. So right.
He wanted the feeling to last forever. Wanted desperately to slow it down, hang onto it, to let it build and ease and build again, to make it grow as well inside her.
But Natalie thwarted his best intentions with intentions of her own. She moved against him, rocked her hips, drew him deeper, arched her back and clenched around him.
“Now,” she whispered, her fingers digging into his buttocks, her heels hard against the backs of his thighs. They moved together, eager and desperate until together they tipped over the edge into oblivion.
Spent, shattered, Christo could barely lift his head. His heart thundered. He pressed a kiss to her cheek, to her lips, then pulled back enough to look down at her, to feel sanity returning, but what else he wasn’t sure.
Natalie stared up at him, speechless, her gaze unreadable.
And Christo felt a stab of anxiety. Of doubt. He stroked her cheek with still-trembling fingers. “Are you all right?”
Because she didn’t look all right. She looked stunned.
And then, like morning light, a smile dawned. Slowly at first, touching her lips, then suffusing her whole face. She loosed her hands that were locked around his back and brought them up to frame his face.
“I don’t think all right really covers it,” she said. And then she raised up to press her lips to his.
They loved again that night.
Slow and easy the second time, as they let their touches linger, she and Christo learned each other’s bodies, each other’s needs, each other’s desires. But slow and easy was no less shattering than fast and desperate.
Nor was lying in the narrow bed and watching Christo sleep afterwards.
“I’ll go,” he’d said only moments after they’d spent themselves the last time. He was lying on his side, his body curved around hers, his arm slung possessively across her waist, holding her against him. And she had felt the whisper of his words against her ear.
She hadn’t moved then. She’d simply held onto the moment, reliving the night from its unpromising beginning to this, marveling at the change.
Who’d have thought?
After a while she realized that he hadn’t moved. His hold on her hand had loosened, his breathing had slowed. He was sleeping.
With exquisite care and deliberation, Natalie shifted her body. There wasn’t much room. She hugged the edge of the bed as she rolled onto her back, still in his embrace, then turned just enough to face him, wanting to see him, to study his features in the dim light that spilled in through the window from the street.
She had never seen Christo unguarded before. Never seen him without armor. She didn’t mean clothes, though of course his lack of them allowed her to learn that part of him as well. It could have made him vulnerable.
But it didn’t. Christo had a strong body, lean but well-muscled, with hard ropy arms, a flat abdomen, strong thighs. He didn’t look like a man who went to meetings and wrote arguments all day. It reminded her that that was only a part of who he was.
He was also the man who slept next to her, his features softened slightly by sleep. His jaw was relaxed now, his lips slightly parted. The hard, often wary green eyes were hidden beneath long-lashed lids. He looked gentler. A bit more like the man she’d dreamed of finding beneath the hard tough shell the world saw.
She’d found that man tonight. Against all odds, he’d finally listened to what she’d said.
It was her problem she loved him. Her foolishness, perhaps. She knew the gentleness and vulnerability wouldn’t last. She knew the armor, gone now, would come back in the strong light of day.
He would be Christo Savas again, the tough lawyer the world knew.
But she would know this Christo. She would have these memories. She had broken through the armor to the man inside.
And she dared hope—dared believe—that he would find joy in letting her in, in sharing the intimacies they’d shared again. And again.
She lifted a hand and touched his hair. It was both crisp and soft under her fingers. She trailed them down to trace the line of his ear and jaw. She pressed a finger lightly to his lips, felt his breath against it almost like a kiss.
He didn’t wake. He only sighed. And smiled the barest of smiles.
Natalie smiled, too, and knew that whatever happened, she would never regret this night. She slid her arm around him and rested her head against his chest. In her ear she could feel the solid strong beat of his heart.
She loved listening to it. Loved being this close to him. Had loved being even closer.
Three years she had waited. But he had been worth waiting for.
“I love you,” she whispered and pressed a kiss to his chest. Then she closed her eyes, too, and slept.
In the morning, when she awoke, he was gone.
CHAPTER FOUR (#ulink_5fec068c-eb8e-5ee2-8001-a015dc66922d)
“YOU look bright,” Sophy studied Natalie with unabashed interest when she walked into the office the next morning.
“Glad to be back,” Natalie said airily. It was partly the truth, but not the part that was making it a struggle to keep the grin off her face. Even though Christo had been gone when she got up, she hadn’t been able to stop smiling.
The memories of the night before had a lot to do with it. But even more was the note on the dining-room table that said in Christo’s spiky neat writing, “I’ll see you tonight.”
“Things worked out okay with Christo, then?”
Natalie did a momentary double-take, then realized Sophy had no way of knowing anything about last night, that it wasn’t what had happened between her and Christo that her cousin was talking about.
