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The interest that evoked made her regret saying it. “What do you mean?”
“Nothing. Never mind.” She slapped the armrests of her chair for punctuation. “What brings you by today?”
He didn’t bother answering. “What are you afraid of?” he asked.
She ran a hand through her freshly cropped hair. A new habit. It still felt so foreign to her. “Nothing I can’t handle.”
“I’ll help if you’ll let me, Vivian.”
“I know.” She smiled sadly. “There’s nothing you can do. Just…tell me why you’re here.”
His lips, normally so full and soft-looking, thinned. “When you were coming out of the bank today…”
Sitting taller, she steeled herself for what was coming. “Yes?”
“You were carrying something.”
“Chrissy Blabbermouth told you.”
“You thought she wouldn’t?”
“I knew she would. She uses any excuse to get your attention. But that doesn’t make her interference any less infuriating. What a busybody!”
He had a way of watching her as if he was waiting for an opportunity to peel back another layer. “Believe me, I’m not thrilled by her interest, but this time I’m glad she stuck her nose where it doesn’t belong.” He placed his hands on his hips. “Why don’t we talk about the gun.”
Too uncomfortable to remain in the same position, she released her legs. “It’s a method of self-defense, right? Surely I’m not the only one who has a gun around here.”
Judging by the unrelenting sternness of his mouth, he wasn’t going to let her dismiss it that easily. “Do you have a permit to carry a concealed weapon?”
She didn’t answer.
“Is that a no?”
Damn… “Everyone carries concealed around here whether they have a permit or not. Unless they’re waving it around in someone’s face or they’re making threats or they’re drunk…no one really cares. Or are you going to be a hard-ass?”
“Maybe.” He leaned against the railing. “Where’d you get it?”
“It was a gift from a relative.”
“You have relatives?”
He was teasing about the way she kept her life under wraps. She acknowledged it with a smirk. “One or two.”
“Where?”
“One’s in prison, if you must know.”
“Which prison?”
He was marking every detail she dropped. So why was she giving him another nugget of information? “That’s none of your business.”
“Are we talking about a father or a brother?”
She couldn’t resist. “Neither.”
“Then who?”
“An uncle, okay?” That was far enough removed…?.
“What’d he do?”
“Something that’s destroyed my life and the lives of almost everyone I love.”
“And that was…”
Taking a deep breath, she lifted her chin. “Never mind.”
“You can’t tell me that much and then retreat.”
Sure she could; she’d already gone too far. “It’s not something I’m willing to discuss.”
He was sifting through the possibilities. She could tell by his speculative expression. “That means you had two violent men in your life.”
“True.”
“How does your uncle connect with your ex? Did he shoot him?”
“No.”
“The two stories are unrelated?”
“Completely.” Except that she probably wouldn’t have married Tom if she hadn’t left home so early and been so desperate for a friend.
“Okay, so what were you doing with a gun at the bank?”
They were back to that. “What do you think?”
His scowl told her he didn’t understand why she had to be so contrary. “A straight answer might serve you better.”
The sun was hot today, but the trees around her house blocked its direct rays, and a gentle breeze, coming off the lake, cooled the air. Rarely did it go above eighty in Pineview. With all the wildflowers in bloom right now—the lupine, the Indian paintbrush, the kinnikin-nick ground cover—it was a beautiful time of year. She loved it here, especially in summer.
“I was getting it out of my safe-deposit box. What else?” she said with a shrug.
“Why today?”
“Why not today?”
“Does it have anything to do with recent events?”
“If by ‘recent events’ you mean Pat’s murder, yes.” It had even more to do with Rex’s disappearance, and the fact that he knew where she lived and could tell the wrong people if sufficiently motivated or careless, but that was one of those things she couldn’t talk about. Over the past four years, she’d gotten so good at guarding her tongue she weighed almost every sentence she spoke. The constant vigil was taxing, which must be the reason she was suddenly slipping up. She was so tired of the charade, of the caution and worry. She was also tired of spending so much time alone or on the internet, trying to fill her life with strangers or business associates who posed no threat. Even Claire didn’t know who she really was.
“How does Pat’s murder affect you?” he pressed.
“Unless you’ve caught the person who’s responsible, it affects everyone, doesn’t it?”
He shoved away from the railing. “That’s it? You’re worried about safety?”
“I think we all are.”
“Pat’s murder doesn’t hold any special significance to you.”
“I’m sad it happened.”
“That’s not what I’m asking.”
She ruffled her hair again. As short as it was, she couldn’t do any damage. “Then I’m afraid I don’t understand what you’re after.”
“This doesn’t relate to your uncle or your ex-husband?”
“No.”
“Do you know anything about why it occurred? Who might be responsible?”
Guilt stabbed her like a knife to the gut. It was possible she did. If what she feared was true, she should say something. But what if she was wrong? The information she had to offer could derail the investigation as easily as help it…?.
It was better to wait. Why ruin the life she’d created here, which she was so intent on protecting, if she didn’t have to? “Of course not. What makes you think I might?”
He shook his head. “I don’t know. Something’s up with you. I can’t figure out what it is but—”
“I already explained.”
“When you told me about your ex-husband.”
“That’s right.”
“And his name is…”
Fresh alarm curled through Vivian’s veins. She couldn’t give him Tom’s name in case Myles used it to dig up her real identity. And yet she couldn’t come up with a good excuse not to. “I don’t even want to say it.”
“Because…”
Shit. She’d thought a quick mention of her abusive ex would put an end to the sheriff’s queries, provide an excuse for her secrets, but it’d only made him hungry for details. After two years in this place, she’d broken down and done exactly what she’d sworn she’d never do—she’d shared a specific detail that could, if she wasn’t careful, unravel the whole truth.
“Because he’s part of my past and I won’t revisit those years,” she said.
He turned her arm so he could see the scar Tom had left. “Tell me about this.”
Thanks to years of healing, the initials her ex had carved with his pocketknife weren’t as visible as they’d once been. Even if Myles could decipher them, there wasn’t much he could do with TH. But the possibility that she could be underestimating him added to her anxiety.
“There’s no need to go over it.” She pulled her arm out of his grasp. “It’s not related to anything.”
“Did you kill him?” His eyes seemed to drill a hole right through her.
“Who? My ex-husband? Of course not!”
Lines formed on his forehead. “Then why won’t you tell me about him?”
She stood. “Because it has nothing to do with you or…or this town…or Pat’s murder.”
“Are you on the run, Vivian?”
“No!”
“Then what?”
“I just want to mind my own business, to be left alone!”
He looked disappointed. “Thanks for the trust.”
“Why should I trust you? We barely know each other!”
“Is that right?”
“Yes! We—we’re neighbors, nothing more,” she said, but couldn’t quite meet his gaze because what they’d done in her dreams was certainly more intimate than anything that would occur between strangers.
He lowered his voice to a muted growl. “Then why do you find excuses to come outside whenever I’m working in the yard?”
Her mouth dropped open. This was the last thing she’d expected. “I—I don’t!”
“And why do you follow my every move when you think I’m not aware that you’re there?”
Oh, God… Heat rose to her cheeks. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“The invitation you extended last night didn’t come out of nowhere, Vivian. There are plenty of other men in Pineview who’d gladly take you to bed. But, to my knowledge, you’ve never had any of them over here.”
“That doesn’t mean I won’t!”
“Yes, it does. That’s not your style. What happened last night didn’t come from wanting to get laid as much as it came from all the hours you’ve watched me…like I’ve watched you.”
It was difficult to speak with her heart in her throat, but she had to make the effort, had to reel in the emotions that seemed to be exploding between them. “Look, I’ve already tried to explain. Last night was a—a mistake. One you won’t have to worry about me repeating. I don’t know what I was thinking or…or feeling, but…it was just a weak moment, okay?”
“And now you regret it.”
“Exactly.”
“Would you regret it as much if I’d said yes?”
“Probably more,” she admitted.
