скачать книгу бесплатно
Wrong Knickers for a Wednesday: A funny novel about learning to love yourself
Paige Nick
Hilarious, sassy, fresh and at times completely outrageous, this is an utterly unputdownable feel-good debut from Paige Nick.Grace Hendriks has led a pretty sheltered life. So when her sister Natalie begs Grace to take her place as a Rihanna impersonator at a seedy club in Amsterdam, she has no idea what she’s letting herself in for . . . until she ends up onstage with only a pole for support and her lacy knickers in a knot!Thrown into strip-club life, and forced to share an apartment with an exotic troupe of impersonating divas with Lady Gaga-sized egos, Grace has to learn some hard lessons fast. One: living with Marilyn Monroe and Madonna isn’t easy. And two: transformations don’t happen overnight – especially when your bra is determined to sabotage your dance routine.
Copyright (#ulink_168ad72a-4aea-5e59-9566-8a69e7fc266e)
Published by Avon
An imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd
The News Building
1 London Bridge Street
London SE1 9GF
www.harpercollins.co.uk (http://www.harpercollins.co.uk)
First published in Great Britain by HarperCollins Publishers 2016 as Like a Virgin
This edition published in Great Britain by HarperCollins 2016
Copyright © Paige Nick 2016
Paige Nick asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work
A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.
This novel is entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental.
All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins.
Ebook Edition © 2016 ISBN: 9780008160845
Version: 2016-07-21
Dedication (#ulink_c11bd03e-3285-5e91-a7aa-5cb89f67a489)
For Sarah Lotz, for so many reasons
Contents
Cover (#ucfc11668-e9a3-529b-9d5c-7b0f0635ca2c)
Title Page (#u8801960d-ebfa-52f9-9372-637808c77236)
Copyright (#uc8df0818-3770-5c0e-a5ae-c60eabf3fbb9)
Dedication (#u53282c5d-fd0c-551e-a06f-be8f46845e2a)
Cape Town International Airport – 10:23pm (#ufe274ffb-bb2c-5c17-b669-a074822868bd)
€200.00 (#u5c749775-dd45-58f0-8851-cb4423bd4405)
€175 (#ucc062d16-254e-56f2-ac2d-d03c5f4e29fb)
€151.20 (#u287e8a7f-63fb-55fd-8f04-a20af60c6804)
- €73.80 (#ubeb367b2-9415-57be-8072-96c09afe9bd3)
-€194.30 (#u83b4ad5b-640d-5964-aacc-5a6387248b6b)
- €189.30 (#u9bb0cd07-870d-55bd-ae17-91e2e11b7642)
- €171.30 (#uf7c1d78e-a956-5560-8ff1-3f0a2c765433)
- €170.30 (#ud376dc39-4758-5fe0-9b51-adedea3f2f14)
- €200.30 (#ud5c78a24-a44c-525a-9ed0-d5f07c69ccef)
- €173.30 (#ue471429b-2db3-5494-9751-f99e2c6941ed)
- €185.30 (#u897c0f91-faef-565a-b3ec-08746e5c5c60)
€58.30 (#u8a3a61cd-c1df-54ed-8933-e5a9b6a7abf6)
- €208.30 (#uc3f92a7c-3e3c-5ebe-bfc8-df76f3dcc67e)
- €226.90 (#u7f0dec24-36d7-539d-895f-3e9f24f885b0)
€932.42 (#u920ccb72-7c9e-5bdb-a934-9b0fc7e8efa8)
€740.84 (#ub9137e39-c6a5-57b9-9995-6350c60b6dfa)
€1,172.15 (#uff912a95-beb3-5d82-9ecd-f49cfb026be8)
€1,212.64 (#ue459ac76-e8d0-5994-8f4d-5bf51c0549cc)
€2,046.23 (#u66cb564d-0345-5f38-9807-a68ea83a822b)
€1,871.23 (#u40eeeba8-1217-5d9a-8863-a61308f8ce99)
€2,173.45 (#ubffff069-3361-5eb1-8701-4d6f82603140)
€3,633.12 (#ud9ea422a-2c4c-58e2-bd2f-51d6dee999ba)
€3,713.12 (#ucbbb1317-c258-5482-95fc-dccebbadc1a5)
€3,824.62 (#u216e5c4b-08d7-5014-8a97-3a0719527b8e)
€4,983.12 (#ub4ca135c-8087-52c7-96fd-df077bfff6f3)
€6,002.12 (#u7c00f66d-13a2-5dc8-b148-da483698da80)
€7,021.83 (#u03ed53bb-65e4-53d2-ad3f-f91018b5bc84)
€7,590.32 (#ufa6d539a-200a-5457-a0a2-1a04f1989b33)
€7,999.32 (#u401610fb-f991-5c83-8834-9330547063aa)
€9,951.97 (#uc9c5ab66-943e-5e7c-80b3-58fe68213b78)
€10,151.97 (#ud00ff873-aad1-5511-9fb4-fe058a7e9e94)
€10,196.97 (#u1de44937-bb73-56f4-bb2f-65e8b2be58fe)
€10,124.97 (#u98db871c-f5b4-5c73-b7d4-5c8813f3f42a)
€200.00 (#u37cf5648-948a-54fc-9143-8cf85d63bede)
Acknowledgements (#u53850071-254e-5bbc-a6a2-d0fcebb0fc1f)
Keep Reading (#u8f482dc3-3c7c-5fc6-886d-3e1ca1facfbb)
About the Publisher (#u12f301af-e28a-579c-bad7-9c434bef8422)
Cape Town International Airport – 10:23pm (#ulink_d51e31f2-ffb1-5564-9ae1-df50ee45a4a8)
> Boarding in 5 mins. Natalie, I don’t think I can do this.
> u can Grace!!!! stop freaking out
> What if I get caught?
> U cant think like that they will pick up on it!!!! People can smell fear. chill
> Easy for you to say. Your butt isn’t on the line.
> Srsly???? U know I wd have been there in a heartbeat if I cudve
> I know I know, Nat. I’m just scared.
> I’m counting on u Grace dnt fck it up. U kno how important this is
> I’m trying OK!
> You have to try harder. You can’t be such a wuss your whole life!
> I told you, Nat, I’m trying.
> u think Lucas suspects nything?
> No I don’t think so. He trusts me. But I hate lying to him. Maybe we should just tell him the truth?
> NO! Jezuz Grace! u swore u wldn’t tell him. He’ll neva understand. Plus u kno he hates my guts, he’d go ballistic if he knew you were doing this for me
> I’m sure he would understand if we explained it.
> Y can’t u just b ur own person 4 once? U promised u wldnt tell him. I need u to do this for me. & u owe me this at least
> OK, I'm doing it! I’m at the airport, I’m flying to Amsterdam, aren’t I? Look I have to go. We’re boarding now and Lucas just WhatsApped me. I’d better message him back before I have to turn off. Text when I land … if I land!
> Dnt tell him! U can do this, Grace
*
> Hey wife to be. I’m missing u already. X What’s happening?
… Grace??? U there??
> Hi husband to be
They just called my section. I’m in line, getting ready to board.
> Can’t believe ur going away for so long XX
> Time will fly. Better go, I don’t want to miss my flight.
> I do want u to miss ur flight Grace, I miss u 2 much already!
> I’ll be home before you know it, and then we can plan our wedding.
> U not scared? First time overseas by yrself is a big thing, babes XXX
> I’m cool. But if anything happens to me, know I love you.
> Lol nothing’s going to happen to u. Just drink lots of water on the plane and WhatsApp me the second you find wifi when you land. I want all the details! XXX
> Kay! Gotta go.
> I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with u, babes! I love you.
> Me too. Love you. xxx
€200.00 (#ulink_801ec1fc-7337-5122-ba6e-7c554a0cea35)
I stare at the back of the woman in the EU passport queue in front of me and concentrate on the list of Jay-Z World Tour dates printed on her hoodie.
Despite the fact that it’s winter in Amsterdam, I’m sweating like crazy in my fleece-lined coat. But at least it’s concealing my sweaty armpits from the eyes of all the immigration officers, cameras and highly trained security personnel dotted around the terminal. All on the lookout for the scared, the nervous and the idiots with heroin shoved up their backsides.
