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‘Excellent. Lucy can help you with that—in fact, it might be a good idea if she were to shadow you for the next week or so.’ He sent Matt a querying look. ‘It’ll give her a good insight into what goes on in Paediatrics.’
Matt hesitated just for a moment, and then said, ‘That’s fine. I’m okay with that.’
Lucy held her breath for a second or two, trying to take it in. She was to follow Matt around? Her mind skittered, seeking a way out of the situation, before coming around to the inevitable conclusion that there was no escape.
She had to be professional about this, of course. Obviously the professor had no idea how she and Matt tended to avoid one another back at the house, if only for the sake of peace and quiet. Something that had been easy enough when Jade and Ben had been around, but now …? She was doomed. Not only were they being thrown together at home, now they were to work together, as well. How long would it be before they found themselves at loggerheads over something or other?
Matt looked at her, and for a moment their glances met, each of them keeping their innermost thoughts hidden.
‘I’ll leave things with you, then,’ Professor Farnham said. ‘Any problems, and James will be around to help you out.’
Lucy looked anxiously at the baby after the professor had left. ‘He’s so small and vulnerable,’ she said softly. ‘I’m glad it’s not me having to do an invasive procedure on him. Are you okay with it?’ She sent Matt a troubled look. She felt unnaturally queasy at the thought.
He shrugged. ‘It has to be done if he’s to get better,’ he murmured. ‘Let’s take him over to the treatment room, and then we’ll scrub up.’
She went with him and helped him to lay out a trolley with the necessary medical equipment. It was something she’d seen done many times, and she knew well enough how to clean the baby’s skin and drape the chest area with dressings.
Matt sedated the baby, and all appeared to be well. Even so, her stomach lurched as he anaesthetised the area and prepared to make the incision. She didn’t know what was wrong with her. It was odd, this feeling of being out of synch with everything. She was usually on the ball and quite happy to go along with whatever procedure was needed.
Matt carefully identified the area over the baby’s rib and began to insert the chest tube. Lucy felt a wave of nausea swell up inside her. It threatened to overwhelm her, and immediately she began to panic. All of a sudden she felt hot, with beads of perspiration breaking out on her brow, and her heart was pounding so much that she could feel it in her throat. She felt faint.
This couldn’t be happening to her, not here, not now. Whatever would Matt think of her if she were to disgrace herself by being sick, here in the treatment room?
‘Are you all right?’ he asked, pausing as he checked that the tube was in place.
‘I’m fine,’ she managed, keeping her head down. She handed him the collecting device and he connected the tube to it so that the drained fluid could be accumulated and made available for testing.
‘You don’t look all right,’ he commented. ‘You’re very pale. Are you going to be sick?’
She shook her head and swallowed hard. She wouldn’t allow herself to be sick. Heavens above, she’d seen this operation performed many times before, and it didn’t make sense that now, of all times, she should want to throw up.
‘We’ll have to take him down to X-Ray to make sure that the tube is in the right place,’ he said.
She nodded. ‘I’ll just … I’ll … Excuse me a minute, will you?’ The way she was feeling, she knew she wouldn’t make it as far as Radiology, so she grabbed the opportunity to escape. Their work was more or less done here, and she wouldn’t be missed for a minute or two, would she? All she could think about was getting outside and finding some fresh air before she made a complete fool of herself.
It was probably too late, anyway. Matt had already guessed that she wasn’t feeling well, and he would come to the only possible conclusion, that she wasn’t fit to be a doctor if she felt faint assisting with a commonplace surgical procedure.
She didn’t wait for Matt to answer. Instead, she headed outside and made for the paved area set out in the L-shape created by the wall of the children’s ward where it met up with the treatment area. Fortunately for her there was no one around, and she found a bench to sit on, where she bent forward and put her head between her knees.
She stayed like that for a few minutes, only coming up for air when the nausea had passed.
‘Are you feeling any better now?’ For the second time that day, Matt startled her by arriving when he was least expected.
‘Oh,’ she said, looking at him aghast. ‘I thought … I thought I was on my own out here.’
He nodded. ‘It’s okay. No one else knows but me. How are you?’
‘Better,’ she admitted. ‘Much better. I’m sorry I rushed out on you. I don’t know what came over me. Is the baby okay? Does he still need to go to X-Ray?’
‘I asked the nurse to take him over there.’ He studied her, his dark eyes brooding. ‘I’m guessing you’re not likely to be pregnant, so the other explanation for you feeling ill could be lack of food. Let’s get you over to the cafeteria, and you can get some proper food inside you.’
She shook her head. ‘I can’t do that—I have to get on. Professor Farnham wants to see my case notes. He’ll want to know where I am.’
He frowned. ‘I doubt he’ll be waiting with bated breath. Did you eat properly while you were at your parents’ house?’
‘Of course I did.’ She looked at him, astonished that he could think otherwise. ‘Though … well, I missed tea, because I went with Dad to look over one of his projects, and by the time we arrived back at the house there were visitors waiting for us.’ She thought things through. ‘I should have made myself a snack for supper, I suppose, but it was late and I was so tired I just wanted to crawl into bed.’
He raised a dark brow. ‘I thought going home was supposed to be relaxing?’
She gave him a wan smile. ‘You know how my father is. He never stops. He’s always on the lookout for new properties to develop. And whenever I did get half an hour to myself, I switched on my laptop and did some work for my exams.’
‘Lord help us.’ He rolled his eyes heavenwards. ‘You won’t even reach first base as a doctor if you don’t know how to keep yourself healthy.’
She mulled that over for a while. Of course, he was right. He must have a very low opinion of her, and she deserved it. It was very depressing, and all at once she was swamped with guilt for letting things get to this state.
‘Come on,’ Matt said. ‘I’ll take you along to the cafeteria.’ He placed a hand beneath her elbow and helped her to her feet. ‘And don’t even think of asking for a salad. Jade told me you keep that perfect figure by cutting out pasta and fries, and anything else that might tend to add the pounds. That’s a silly way to be going on. You have to be at the top of your game, for heaven’s sake. You need nourishment.’
Jade had been talking about her? How could she do that with Matt, of all people?
‘I know that,’ she protested. ‘If I don’t eat those foods, it’s because I’m not keen on them. It’s nothing to do with watching my weight. I don’t do that—I don’t even think about it.’
He made a disgruntled, scoffing sound and urged her on, walking with her through the entrance door and along the corridor towards the cafeteria.
‘Sit down,’ he said, when they arrived there and he had picked out a table by the window. ‘I’ll go and order for you.’
He started to walk away. ‘Hey, hang on a minute,’ Lucy called after him. ‘You don’t even know what I want.’ She frowned, feeling unaccountably annoyed. Perhaps that was another side effect arising from lack of sleep and practically nothing to eat.
He turned and looked at her as though he was dealing with a recalcitrant child. ‘I thought pancakes with strawberry syrup, and waffles with ice cream on the side. That way you get to eat and be cheered up at the same time. Those are your favourites, aren’t they?’
‘Well, um, yes … but …’ How did he know that? She didn’t even know that he must have been watching her over these last few months. Waffles and ice cream for breakfast? She weighed it up in her mind. Then again, why not? ‘Oh, what the heck …’ She gave up the struggle and saw the faint smile that tugged at the corners of his mouth.
Then he swivelled around, and she watched him stride over to the counter to place the order. He was still shaking his head as though he was trying to fathom how they had come to be in this situation. She hated the fact that she’d had to be rescued by him. It would have been so much simpler if they could have gone on passing each other like ships in the night. That way, neither one of them would have needed to try to understand the other.
When he came back to the table a few minutes later he was carrying a tray that was filled with goodies, along with two steaming cups of coffee. ‘That should do the trick,’ he murmured, laying the dishes in front of her. ‘Tuck in.’
She didn’t need a second bidding. Only when she’d finished with the pancakes and was ready to start on the waffles did she look up at him and notice that he was working his way through a burger and chips.
‘First rule of medicine,’ he said. ‘Make sure that you’re fuelled up and ready to go.’
‘I’ll remember that,’ she murmured. She smiled, relaxing for the first time that morning, and he stopped eating, looking at her oddly, as though he’d never really seen her before.
‘I wasn’t expecting to be working with you,’ he said, after a while. ‘That might take some getting used to for both of us.’
‘Yes, I expect so.’ She gave him a fleeting glance before turning her attention to the waffles, still warm from the grill, with ice cream slowly melting into the syrupy hollows. ‘You said you were given this placement at the last minute. What happened to the one you’d already chosen?’
‘I had to talk to the consultants about it. I really wanted to do Paediatrics, and the opportunity seemed too good to miss. I didn’t think they’d go for it, but in the end they seemed happy to change things around, and so here I am.’
She nodded, finishing off her dessert and leaning back in her chair, a satisfied expression on her face.
‘The colour’s come back into your cheeks,’ he said. ‘That’s good.’ He looked as though he was about to say something more, but then his phone started to play its familiar tune, a lilting guitar melody, and he sent her an apologetic look. ‘I’d better get this.’
He studied the caller ID, and then said, ‘Hello, Mum. What’s up? It’s not like you to call this early in the day.’
He frowned as the conversation developed. ‘Chest pains? How long has he been getting them?’ There was a moment or two of silence while he listened, and then he said, ‘Make sure he goes along to his GP. I’ll come over to see you, if you like … No? Well, yes, you’re probably right—but let me know how he goes on, won’t you?’ Another period of quiet followed, before he added, ‘Yes, I know, but they’re partners, and he was bound to take on the bulk of the work when the business started to expand.’
He cut the call a while later, and Lucy gave him a sympathetic glance. She wasn’t sure whether she ought to intrude, but she was sitting here with him, and she hadn’t been able to help hearing what had been said.
‘Was that about your father?’ she asked quietly. ‘Is he ill?’ There had also been something about ‘the business’ and that worried her, because Matt’s father was in partnership with her father, and it sounded as though there was a problem of some sort.
Matt pressed his lips together, making them into a flat line. ‘My mother’s worried about him. He’s been working too hard lately, and now he’s getting twinges in his chest.’ His gaze met hers. ‘The trouble is, he always puts in a hundred and ten per cent. We’ve tried telling him to slow down, but he doesn’t listen. He says he doesn’t have a choice.’
‘Because of my father? That’s what you’re thinking, isn’t it?’
His shoulders lifted, but he didn’t reply, and his expression was unreadable, leaving her at a loss. Of course he blamed her father. Martyn Clements was a powerhouse of energy, and the business meant everything to him. He drove himself and everyone else to give their utmost to make it succeed. He’d never come to terms with the fact that his daughter chose to study medicine rather than carry on in his footsteps.
‘We should get back to the children’s unit,’ he said, his features grim and impenetrable.
‘Yes.’ She hesitated. ‘What will you do?’
‘Nothing, for the moment,’ he answered. ‘I’ll go and see him at the weekend.’
She followed him out of the cafeteria and neither of them spoke. A wall had come down between them, and the relaxed atmosphere of just a few minutes ago had passed. The loss left her with a hollow feeling inside.
CHAPTER TWO
‘IT LOOKS as though you’ve bought enough food to last us for a month,’ Jade observed with a laugh, watching Lucy stocking up the fridge and freezer. ‘I can’t see how the groceries kitty would have covered us for that lot.’
‘No … well, I was worried about leaving the cupboards empty, so I decided to get a few extras in. Nothing major, but a few things to tide us over in an emergency—dried milk, bread for the freezer, pasta shells and sauces, rice and curry spices and chicken pieces. That way we’ll always have something to fall back on.’
Jade smiled. ‘Ah … now I see the reason for the shopping spree. So Matt’s been giving you a hard time, has he?’
‘No, no … not at all.’ Lucy paused, thinking about that. ‘Actually, he’s been remarkably quiet, lately. He hardly said a word when we ran out of everything at the weekend.’
‘You’re joking!’ Jade’s eyes widened. ‘What’s wrong with him? Is he not feeling well?’ She chuckled as she helped to put away the packages. She was glowing with health, her long, chestnut-coloured hair gleaming like the copper pans that decorated the far wall, touched by the morning sunlight. Her green eyes reflected the happiness that came from being a woman in love and for a second or two Lucy envied her that feeling.
She sighed and brushed those thoughts away. Romance wasn’t for her. Not now, not perhaps for some time to come. It was a disappointment, finding out how shallow men could be. Though that wasn’t true of all men, of course. Jade’s fiancé was a wonderful man. He thought the world of Jade, and they were truly blessed, but it wasn’t likely that such a liaison would happen for her any time soon.
Why was it that every time she was halfway interested in a man, he was all over her and trying to hustle her into bed? She didn’t want a brief fling based purely on sex, she wanted something more than that—something deeper and more meaningful, a man to love her, perhaps, and care for her, and not just be obsessed by her body. But it wasn’t happening. So far, every man she’d met hadn’t been able to get past the way she looked. Even Alex, whom she’d known for some years and whom she’d thought at one time might be the one for her, had let her down and left her disappointed.
She tried to shake off those negative feelings. ‘I think Matt’s on top form lately. I get the feeling he’s really happy to be working in Paediatrics, and he doesn’t seem to be fazed by anything. One minute he’s doing chest drainage on a baby and the next he’s playing Air Attack with a ten-year-old on the ward. I wish I could be as relaxed about the job.’
Jade nodded. ‘It doesn’t help that we have clinical examinations coming up next month, does it?’
Lucy gave a slight shudder. ‘It’s definitely stressful. I’ve been trying not to think too much about them, but with them looming up ahead there’s no avoiding it any longer. I just hope I manage to keep it all together, and that my mind doesn’t go blank when the time comes.’
‘Me, too.’
‘Whose mind’s going blank?’ Matt joined them in the kitchen, casually dressed in jeans and T-shirt, the cotton fabric hugging his muscular chest and showing off strong, sun-bronzed arms that were covered with a smattering of dark hair. Lucy guessed he’d just come from the shower because his hair was damp and spiky, giving him a roguish, ready-for-anything kind of look.
‘Mine,’ she told him, and before she could add, ‘we were talking about exams,’ he started to nod.
‘That figures,’ he said, his mouth crooking at the corners.
She gave him a soft punch on the arm and he pretended to be wounded. ‘Did I say anything about you being an airhead?’ he grumbled. ‘I mean, just because you forget the groceries occasionally and the cooker still hasn’t been repaired, it doesn’t have to mean there’s nothing going on in there, does it? Anyway, you’re blonde … it goes with the territory.’
She scowled at him. ‘Don’t push it, okay? That joke is wearing a bit thin. I hear it all the time, and I’m telling you I’m not in the mood. As to the cooker, the repairman’s coming this morning.’
‘That’s good. We’ve only been waiting a week.’
‘And that was hardly my fault,’ she said in a clipped tone, staying on the defensive. ‘I rang several companies, and this was the earliest anyone could come out.’
‘Did I say it was your fault?’ Matt raised dark brows.
‘Okay, children,’ Jade interrupted, smiling, ‘I’m going to leave you to it. I have a lecture to attend this afternoon, but before that I want to spend some time in the hospital library, looking up clinical exam questions to see what sort of thing might come up.’ She glanced at Lucy. ‘Are you coming along?’
‘I’d like to, but it depends how things go here. I asked the cooker man to come early, but he’s already late. I’ll catch up with you as soon as I can.’
‘See you later, then.’ Jade left, and Lucy returned to the task of putting away the last of the packages.
Matt added coffee to the filter jug and said, ‘I could wait in for the repairman, if you like. I don’t have to be at work until lunchtime today.’
Lucy turned around to look at him, touched by his thoughtfulness. ‘Would you? That would be so helpful—I really ought to go to this lecture. It’s not quite the same, looking things up on the internet. My head’s been all over the place just lately, and a face-to-face meeting is so much better because you can ask questions and clear up niggling difficulties.’
He nodded, but just as she thought about getting ready to leave Matt glanced out of the kitchen window and said softly, ‘Well, now, it looks as though we have a visitor. I wonder what that little lad is doing here?’ He walked over to the sink to get a better look.
Lucy went to join him at the window, looking out on to the small garden.
‘He must be the little boy from next door,’ she said. Matt brushed up against her as he moved to get a better view, and for a while her concentration went to pieces as she stared distractedly at the patch of lawn and surrounding flowers and shrubs.
‘He can’t even be three years old,’ Matt mused, his voice low. ‘I wonder how he managed to get into the garden?’
Lucy didn’t answer straight away. Matt was so close that she could feel the warmth of his long body seeping into her, and as he lifted an arm to point out a small figure scrambling about in the bushes she was conscious of his biceps lightly grazing the softness of her breast. His thigh was gently pressuring hers, and a rush of heat spread through her, firing up every nerve ending and shooting her nervous system into a spiralling state of heightened awareness.
‘I … uh … I think he must have crawled in through a gap in the fence,’ she managed, her voice becoming husky.
‘Mmm.’ Matt half turned, looking at her. ‘I expect so.’ He sounded distant all at once, and he shifted slightly, so that she wondered if he, too, was overcome by this same feeling of warm intimacy that was bothering her, where her soft curves were brought into mind-shattering contact with his strong, firm body.
‘Perhaps I should go and talk to him,’ she murmured breathlessly, making an effort to get herself together. ‘His mother might be worrying about him.’
‘Yes, I think you’re right.’ He moved away from her, slowly, and it seemed as though his mind was somewhere else altogether. ‘I’ll come with you.’
They went out through the French doors into the garden, quietly, so as not to startle the little boy. By now, he was sitting on a collection of pebbles that were lit up in a patch of sunlight.
‘Hello,’ Lucy said softly, bending down to be on a level with the child. ‘Are you from next door? I don’t think we’ve met before, have we? I’m Lucy, and this is my friend, Matt.’
‘I’m Jacob,’ he told her, unperturbed by their sudden appearance. ‘I live over there.’ He waved an arm towards the fence. ‘I’ve never been here before.’ He looked around, his grey eyes bright with curiosity. ‘Is this your garden?’
‘Yes, it is.’ Lucy nodded.
