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Clean, properly clothed, with her emotions firmly under control, Emily drove back to the hospital. Paige Wescott met her in the hallway, and she looked at the physician hopefully.
“He still doesn’t have his memory,” Paige warned.
“This is crazy. Somebody will slip and tell him the truth,” Emily declared. “We should tell him first”
“Oh? Who’s going to tell him? Just how many people know you had artificial insemination? Or that Nick isn’t something special in your life? Or that you don’t have a regular marriage?”
Emily blinked. “He must have told his friends.”
Paige clucked. “Nick is a man. I doubt he told anyone the details of your baby’s conception, especially his friends. Since it’s clear he’s the father, I suspect he’s letting everyone believe the obvious. What do you think?”
A vivid image of Nick’s embarrassed face rose before Emily’s eyes. He was a nice guy—with Neanderthal tendencies. Positively primeval. He’d no more discuss the intimate details of their trip to the gynecologist’s office, than he’d rob a bank.
But even more than that, Emily knew she hadn’t been entirely…well, candid herself. Crockett, Washington, was a small town, with its full share of affectionately wagging tongues. While she hadn’t exactly lied to anyone, she hadn’t really explained about the baby. Or Nick. She’d even taken his last name since she never planned to remarry and because it would be easier for their child.
“Well?” Paige prodded.
“All right,” she agreed reluctantly. “Except I can’t keep the pretense up forever. I’m no good at it. I feel so guilty about yelling at him and pushing him away. What if he never gets his memory back because of me? And he’s just going to die if he remembers. He’ll wake up and say ‘yuck, I kissed Emily. I knew her when she was a skinny eight-year-old with bubble gum in her braces.’”
Paige shook her head. “Hormones,” she complained. “Look, I’m not an expert on amnesia, but I do know Nick. And so do you. His personality is so close to the surface his memory block is transparent.”
“What has that got to do with anything?”
“That means,” the doctor said patiently, “my instincts say you should treat him like you always would— argue, tease, whatever…except you don’t explain about your marriage. He latched on to the idea of being married like a drowning victim clutching a life preserver. Under the circumstances, I can’t say I blame him. Don’t worry, he’ll remember soon enough.”
“When is that going to happen?”
“It shouldn’t be long. I suspect this is a case of selective amnesia. His injuries were minor, so the memory block must be caused by some emotional conflict.”
Emily blinked again. Nick Carleton emotionally conflicted? Interesting. Not overly helpful, but interesting.
“You’ the only anchor he’s got right now,” Paige said seriously. “You’ve been friends since childhood. I doubt there’s anyone as close to him. The treatment in these cases is fairly simple—get him into familiar surroundings, remind him of his life, and his memory should return. From what you’ve said, he spends more time at your house than he ever does at that apartment in the city.”
“But he thinks we’…we’ really involved. I mean, uh, Nick has never kissed me like that before,” Emily said, flustered.
“From what I saw, it’s about time he did.” With that parting shot Paige patted her arm and headed toward the nurse’s station.
“God save me from matchmakers,” Emily muttered. She pushed open the door of Nick’s room with a nervous smile, smoothing the light cotton skirt of her dress.
Nick rose from his chair, relieved to see Emily instead of another doctor or lab technician, who would just be annoyed because he’d gotten out of bed. Although… he’d be happy to see her no matter what. “Hi, Angel. I wasn’t sure if you’d come back tonight”
“Of course I’d come back.” She took a few steps into the room. “How’s your head?”
“Empty,” he said flatly. “It’s like there’s this enormous wall in my mind and I can’t see over it.”
“I’m sorry.”
He winced. Great, he had to act like a bear with a sore paw. This was his wife, not a stranger. He was lucky to have Emily, it would have been far worse waking up without anybody to care about him. Which reminded him…
“Angel, what about my family? If you haven’t called them yet, maybe you should wait. I’m sure I’ll get my memory back soon, so there’s no need to upset them, too.”
A look of genuine dismay flashed into her eyes, and he leaned forward abruptly.
Yikes. His abused head didn’t appreciate the move ment, but it seemed more important to understand why Emily might be upset. Even worse…he could tell she’d been crying. “Angel? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. Except…you don’t have a family.” Her voice shook and she didn’t quite meet his gaze.
“Wrong,” he said quietly. “I have you and the baby.”
Instinctively Emily’s hand went to her stomach. He went to her, grateful a supposed old friend from the fire department had sent a pair of pajamas for him to wear. She jumped a little when he put an arm about her waist and led her to the bed.
“Is there something I should know?” he asked, sitting her down beside him. “It can’t be too terrible—you said we practically grew up together.”
“We did.”
Emily fidgeted with the fabric of her sundress. It was pretty and feminine, her smooth shoulders rising above the fitted bodice. Her pregnancy was concealed by the graceful folds of the skirt, but he would have preferred seeing the evidence of their baby. It made him feel alive and potent, very much a man.
He captured her fingers, pressing both their hands against her abdomen. “So?”
“We grew up here in Crockett,” she murmured, her head still bowed. “Your mother and father are dead— you were raised in a foster home next door to us.”
“Who is us?”
“My parents and brothers and sisters.” She cast him a look from the corner of her eye. “You’ great friends with my oldest brother. You practically lived at our place.”
“What about my foster parents, are we close? Do I see them ever?” When Emily didn’t answer right away he kissed the arched curve of her neck. “Don’t protect me, Angel. I have to know.”
“They weren’t unkind,” Emily whispered. “They kept you warm and fed and dry.”
And that’s all. Nick didn’t need her to finish the story for him, he’d already guessed. Whatever affection he’d received as a child must have been from Emily and her own family. No wonder he’d fallen in love with her.
“We’ve never really discussed it,” Emily said, finally lifting her head. “You don’t like to talk about things like that.”
You don’t like to talk about things like that…. Terrific. Now he had another item to add to the growing list of questions about himself. But surely he confided in Emily. She was his wife, and she was also the kind of woman who’d want a close relationship with her husband. Besides, marriage meant partnership, didn’t it?
The sudden intake of her breath grabbed his attention. “What? Is something wrong?”
“Did you feel that?” she asked excitedly. “The baby moved.” She squirmed until she could clasp both her hands over his, holding him to the firm swell of her belly. “It’s the first time I’ve felt anything.”
Awed, Nick realized there was a flutter of movement beneath his palm. A faint, compelling reminder of growing life.
“Isn’t it wonderful?” Emily asked, tears welling in her blue eyes.
Uh-oh. Uncertain about the best thing to do, he cuddled her close. He didn’t know the cause—the accident, fear or just plain happiness over their baby. He doubted she cried very often. “It’s all right,” he soothed.
“Drat. I thought I was over this.” She sniffed and gulped. “It’s just hormones. They all attacked at once. I was doing fine until today.”
“I see.”
“I don’t cry, not ever,” she said, her stubborn chin raised high.
“I know.” Nick wiped the damp streaks from her cheeks, and she gave him a wobbly smile. God, she was so desirable. Without even thinking he lifted her face and kissed her.
It was even better than the first time. She was soft and fragrant, still trembling with emotion and excitement. After a long moment she moaned and held him in return. He could easily have forgotten they were in a hospital, but for the emphatic sound of someone clearing their throat.
“Nick…Emily?”
He almost swore, recalling just in time that Emily didn’t like that kind of language around their baby. She must believe in that “influence from the womb” theory of psychology. Nick felt an instant of supreme, absolute frustration—how could he remember a psychology theory and remember nothing tangible about his own wife?
“You have lousy timing, Doc. Again,” he growled. Regretfully, he brushed a last kiss across Emily’s lips before releasing her. “How do I break out of this prison, anyhow?”
Paige Wescott shrugged, her smile growing wider as she watched a flustered Emily straighten her clothing. “A specialist is coming from Seattle to check you over, but you’ll probably be released tomorrow or the next day.”
“How about a temporary release?” he suggested, smoothing his hand over Emily’s shoulder, covered only by a one-inch strap. “You release me tonight, and I’ll come back in the morning. I promise.”
Paige seemed to be having trouble controlling her expression, and Emily glared at her. “I…uh…that’s not such a good idea. You haven’t been cleared for extracurricular activities.”
“Nick, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that,” Emily said. “I don’t think—”
“Wait a minute.” Frowning, Nick ran his thumb over her ring finger—her bare ring finger. “Where’s your wedding ring?”
“Um…at home. I took it off because I was baking cookies.” Emily wanted to die. The truth was, there wasn’t any wedding ring. Nick had wanted to buy one, but she hadn’t let him because it had seemed silly under the circumstances.
“You took it off?”
Emily looked at him carefully, yet she couldn’t be sure if it was reproach or uncertainty in his face. She decided a direct attack was called for, if only to distract him. “Yes. But you don’t wear your ring, either.”
Nick glanced down at his own hand, still frowning. He clenched his fingers into a brief, tight fist. “I’ll have to change that. How long have we been married?”
Emily’s heart speeded up. She knew the answers to his questions, it just seemed so strange to hear Nick asking such things. In some ways he knew her better than anyone else. “A little over five months.”
Five months? Nick whistled to himself, rather pleased with the knowledge. “We sure didn’t waste any time. You must have gotten pregnant right away.”
“Yes, it’s August 21 now,” Dr. Wescott said deliberately. “The baby is due December 30th.”
Nick groaned. “I don’t need to be told the date…again.” He turned to his wife and shrugged. “They keep repeating the date and what town I live in— all kinds of stuff. I think the doc pulled out an old psych textbook and is experimenting on me.”
He gently stroked Emily’s back and rubbed her neck.
“You’ lucky,” Paige retorted. “A hundred years ago we would have just hit you over the head again.” She looked at Emily. “I forgot to tell you to come by my office before you leave. You’ under a lot of stress—I want you to take some extra vitamins for a few days.”
Nick shook his head after the doctor walked out. It hadn’t taken him long to get tired of hospital life. Not that he had much ability to make comparisons in view of his faulty memory.
“Nick…we have to talk,” Emily said. Before he could stop her she slid out of his reach and into a nearby chair.
“Okay. What about?”
Emily pursed her lips, trying to decide the best way to tell Nick that they’d be sleeping separately, no matter when he got home.
“I don’t think we should be intimate. Not right away,” she said quickly. “It would be best…for both of us. Don’t you think?” She cringed at the last question. Giving Nick an option wasn’t what she’d had in mind.
“Anyway,” she continued. “I’m in a awkward stage right now with the baby. Being together…” A wild heat flooded Emily’s face and she faltered. “It’s difficult… and my stomach gets upset so easily. And…and with everything that’s happened, it would be better to take things slowly. You know, get settled into a routine.”
He leaned back on one arm, his face expressionless.
“Nick?”
“Okay. We’ll take things one day at a time,” he agreed calmly—a lot more calmly than she’d really expected. “This has been as tough for you as it is for me. Tougher probably.” Then he smiled, a slow, sexy, hot smile. A smile that infuriated her all the more because it said he was just humoring his overly emotional, pregnant wife. “Don’t worry, it’ll be all right when we get home, Angel.”
I’m not your angel, and I’m trying to save you from major embarrassment, she shouted silently. But her protest did nothing to stop the flow of sensual heat sliding through her veins.
I can’t believe this. I’ve known Nick for more than twenty-five years. I can’t be feeling this way. For years I’ve teased him about his little black book and all those women parading through his life. He was even voted “most likely to escape the ball and chain” by his high school senior class.
Boy, she thought darkly, he’d thought that was funny.
“Think about it,” Nick continued. “You’ just uneasy because I can’t remember us being married. I bet you feel it’s like I’m being unfaithful, even though it’s my own wife I want to make love to.”
Her jaw sagged. That’s it! Time to follow Paige’s advice. Act normally. She’d never let Nick get away with a statement like that if he was himself.
She opened her mouth, “I think they call that kind of idiocy psycho-babble. Honey.”
Okay, Nick decided, he was wrong. That wasn’t the reason Emily wanted to keep him at arm’s length. But he was tired of trying to understand every stray glance, every uncomfortable pause, every peculiar comment people made around him. It was altogether likely they had a wonderful marriage, with no real problems. He had to believe that. Hell, he needed to believe that.
Maybe he’d been a jerk and teased her about getting bigger because of the baby—she’d already hinted that he had a dubious sense of humor. And there was the issue of trust. He didn’t remember their relationship, so she didn’t know how he’d act. It was like asking her to be intimate with a virtual stranger.
“And by the way—” Emily crossed her arms “—I really hate it when you’ condescending. So cut it out.”
Phew. Emily was wonderfully sweet and spicy, but the spicy part was obviously in control tonight. No wonder. He suspected she felt vulnerable and worried and was striking out in self-defense.
“Think of this as the ideal opportunity to expose my faults and correct them,” he suggested.
Emily wanted to throw something at him. Blast. Yet it really wasn’t Nick who was the problem. It was her. She could excuse his behavior because he didn’t remember their friendship. But she didn’t have any excuse for herself. She’d wanted him to kiss her. She’d wanted him to want the baby…
All at once Emily felt the blood drain from her face. Of course. No matter how much she told Nick the baby was hers, that he didn’t need to feel responsible…she had hoped he would share this incredible thing with her.
“I…I have to go see Paige,” she stuttered, getting to her feet and backing toward the door.
Nick stiffened. “What’s wrong?”
“Wrong? N-nothing.” She rubbed her throat with the back of her hand. “It’s okay. It’s just those hormones, you know?”
“Wait.” Nick caught her at the door. “I’m sorry for teasing. I’d give anything to make this easier on you. You know that, don’t you?”
Emily’s chest rose and fell with shaky breaths. His eyes were so sincere, so filled with loving and latent passion she wanted to melt like warm honey. Only she couldn’t let herself want him. Their friendship was already in jeopardy. When he remembered…could they ever put the pieces back together again?
She escaped as quickly as possible. And because she was already feeling illogical and emotional, she stormed into Paige’s office with all the temperamental energy her battered emotions would allow.
“Thanks a lot,” she snapped.
